


Eureka

by valleyforgedown



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-03-06 20:37:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 83,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3147797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valleyforgedown/pseuds/valleyforgedown
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a way, she’s always loved Emily.  AU.  A multi-chapter story following Paige and Emily on their journey to self-discovery and love.  Focuses exclusively on the relationship between Paige McCullers and Emily Fields.  Disclaimer for the entire story is posted only once in Chapter 1.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beginning of 1st grade

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The rights to Pretty Little Liars and the characters in the show and book do not belong to me. The story plot and any original characters do belong to me. I am not making any profit from this story.

“Paige! Have you finished your breakfast? It’s time to go!”

The six-year-old slapped a tiny hand over her mouth to stifle the giggle. Her mom had given the warning call four times already, but with no response. Paige McCullers was hiding in the coat closet by the front door just waiting to burst out and give Liz a good scare. With her lucky green backpack on and slip-on Vans snug on her feet, she was technically ready way before her mom was. 

Her ear pressed against the closet door, she waited with bated breath as she heard the click of heels grow closer. Finally, the sound stopped… right outside the closet. She couldn’t contain her laughter anymore and threw open the door. Unfortunately, Liz was in the line of fire and stumbled ungainly to the other side of the hall, nearly falling to the ground. “Paige McCullers! What in the world did you do that for? I could have twisted my ankle! I know you’re excited for school, but you really must calm down. I’ve been calling you for the past fifteen minutes. Have you been hiding there all that time?”

Paige had been doubled over in fits of laughter, but snapped to attention at Liz’s tone. Uh-oh. However, she wasn’t given a chance to explain herself before she was hurried out the door and into the car. Humph, and she’d had a good reason too!

Safely secured in her car seat with her feet dangling several inches from the car floor, she prattled on about how excited she was to start first grade. That was her devious plan: distract Liz with constant questions so the little closet door incident would be forgotten. “Mommy, who will be my first friend? Is it gonna be a girl or a boy? Is my teacher nice? How many kids are gonna be there? Do we get play time? Do I have to listen all the time? What’s for lunch?”

Just as predicted, Liz spent the car ride struggling to answer the many questions, despite many being near impossible. Nothing could bring Paige’s enthusiasm down, nothing! Playing with her stuffed penguin Pumbaa (the store didn’t have a warthog when she was in her Lion King phase, which she was still in), she wriggled in her seat, unable to sit still. She’d always been active since the day she was born. When she learned to walk, there was no stopping her from parading around the house, determined to leave her crawling days behind – even if it resulted in a faint scar by her right eyebrow.

Unbeknownst to her, her parents frequently used certain words when talking about her. Liz described her daughter to friends as “bubbly” and “lively,” even though she despised using the former. It was the word that just popped to her mind when she thought of Paige. Nick bragged to his business friends about how “determined” and “clever” his daughter was.

“Mommy, I want a puppy for my birthday,” she interrupted the sudden quiet. She’d been on this kick to get a pet for the past nine months – ever since her dad’s business partner, John, brought his Golden Retriever over during a visit.

“Paige, we can’t get a dog right n-”

“That’s what you _always_ say!” She crossed her arms and knitted her eyebrows together – the epitome of an angry child on the verge of a tantrum.

“Because it’s true. Daddy’s in the office for most of the day, and I’m only a little less busy at the Rosewood Police Department. The dog would be home all day by itself. It’s a big responsibility.”

Crossing her arms, Paige didn’t give up, a determined glint in her brown eyes. “I’m reponsablity!”

She scowled fiercely as Liz failed to stile her laugh. Before she could press more, the car stopped and they were at school. All thoughts of a puppy vanished from the girl’s mind as she looked out the window and saw the building of Rosewood Elementary. 

Being the only public school in the district, it was appropriately sized and able to hold the expected seventy-five students ranging from first to fifth grade. Rosewood itself was a small town where most everyone knew each other. It was no surprise that the class enrollment depicted such; there were generally fifteen students per class.

Since it was the first day, the first graders started an hour later at 9AM. Therefore, the grounds were empty, save for the fourteen other first graders and their families. Paige had her car seat unbuckled and Pumbaa packed when the back door opened. Expertly hopping down, she skipped towards the school leaving Liz to lock up the car. Together though, they crossed the threshold and into the place that would be Paige’s life for the next several years. They followed the signs to the first grade classroom while Paige chattered some more. “I’m so excited to make friends, play, learn to read and write, and uh, other stuff!”

“Oh, what about the past year _your dad and I_ have spent teaching you to read and write?” Liz grumbled playfully. But it was lost on her daughter as she was caught up looking around the halls.

As they came up on the room, they passed a family standing together across the hall. Paige stared curiously at the little girl crying. The woman was crouched down giving her daughter a hug while the father stood with a gentle hand on the girl’s shoulder. “It’ll be okay, Em. The day will fly by and we’ll be back to pick you up before you know it! We both love you so much and know that you’ll make a friend today.” The mother had a kind voice, Paige thought absently.

She lost sight of them as she entered the classroom, eyes wide and taking in everything. Colors bombarded her. The room was spacious, with sections invisibly divided. There were a few clusters of desks, each with a nametag sticker. Every girl’s desk had a Disney princess laminated on – Belle, Cinderella, Ariel; the classics. Every boy’s desk had a car from the movie Cars – Lightning McQueen, Mater, Doc. Towards the back of the room by the windows sat several animal-print beanbags with a bookshelf already stocked. By the door, double-stacked open cubbies lined the wall. All in all, the classroom was very well organized. In a few days’ time however, it probably wouldn’t be so.

There were several children already settled in by the beanbags, playing together with their toys they brought from home. A couple sat at the desks, heads buried in their arms. Paige could tell by their shaking shoulders that they were crying, which reminded her of the little girl outside. 

Busy looking around, Paige was startled when a plump, smiling woman blocked everything else – she was standing way, way too close for a stranger. “Hello! You must be Paige, and Mrs. McCullers. I’m Mrs. Cress. I’m very excited to meet you both!” She pointed out the various areas in the room and ushered them both to the cubbies, talking more to Liz than the actual student. No matter, because Paige dumped her backpack in her designated cubby, her name stickered on in black, block letters. That done, she rushed off to join the other kids playing with their toys, Pumbaa in her grasp.

“Hi! I’m Paige.” She caught a couple kids off guard with her sudden arrival, but she was soon let in to play on the floor.

Some mumbled their names, but one blond girl spoke clearly from her place on the zebra beanbag. “My name’s Alison, with one L.”

Paige grinned up at her, a brief and strange image flashing in her mind where Alison was a Queen seated on her throne and Paige was the Jester, there to provide entertainment. “Nice to meet ya! Have you got any toys?”

Alison scrunched her nose, “No way! I like playing dress-up, but I couldn’t bring all my clothes here. So, I’ll just watch you all play… Is that a penguin?”

Paige’s smile grew wider, encouraged that she was making a new friend and said girl would like the flightless birds as much as she did. Lifting the stuffed animal up, she said, “Yup! This is Pumbaa.”

“That’s a stupid name… Isn’t Pumbaa the name of the fat pig from Lion King?”

That wiped the smile right off the brunette’s face. Eyebrows furrowed, she struggled to come back with a witty comment, but failed. Someone else did it for her, though. And it wasn’t exactly witty, but more supportive.

“Pumbaa’s a warthog, and he’s my favorite. And so are penguins.”

Both Alison and Paige shifted their gaze to the newcomer. Paige recognized her as the girl crying out in the hall. Traces of tears were still there, but only because she knew. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Alison stare the new girl down, sizing her up. She knew, because she was doing it too. Who was this girl who had been crying minutes ago, but was now standing up for her?

“I’m Emily,” New Girl added, answering both girls’ silent question.

Emily was insanely tan and skinny with long, dark brown hair flowing past her shoulders. She had an awesome smile, Paige noted, that was directed at her. Wearing a navy blue dress with white sandals to match, her outfit made Paige feel very underdressed in her capris shorts and blouse with sneakers. It was Emily’s eyes that held Paige’s attention the longest. They were brown – almost like her own – and in the right light, had a reddish tint to them. Their color aside, they were so expressive. Paige just wanted to sit there and look at those eyes for the rest of the day. 

Except Alison wasn’t about to let that happen. “I’m Alison with one L, and this is-”

“I’m Paige,” she finally found her words, casting a wary glance at the blond. “I’m so happy you like Pumbaa _and_ penguins! Do you want to play with him when we have play time?”

Suddenly shy, Emily mumbled an affirmative and moved to join Paige on the floor. Before she could though, someone was calling her. “Em, honey. We’re leaving! We’ll pick you up in a few hours.” It was her mom. Emily glanced at Paige before biting her lip and waving to her parents. She had forgotten about them, distracted by the girl with a penguin named Pumbaa.

Almost immediately after, Liz called from the door also. “Paige, I’m heading to work. Samara will pick you up and take you home, okay?”

Paige nodded, blowing a kiss cheekily. She was disappointed her parents couldn’t pick her up, but they were very busy and Samara was a fun babysitter.

Mrs. Cress stood in front of the whiteboard and called all the students to their desks. Paige was pleased to find Princess Belle on her desk, as well as Emily in her desk cluster; she had Princess Ariel. The day passed quickly, filled with general start-of-school things, passing out school materials, and learning the basic schedule.

When at last Mrs. Cress announced it was time for play time, or “recess” as she called it, Paige couldn’t be happier. Five hours of nearly non-stop boring, non-learning school stuff was grating on her attention span. She’d already been “Shhh’d” by the teacher once for whispering to Emily during a supposed teaching period. All the first graders bolted out of their seats and crowded by the door until they reluctantly formed a single-file line in alphabetical order. Paige was stuck between a boy and a girl – Collin and Sarah. She kept stepping on the back of Collin’s sneakers.

Finally, they were outside on the playground! There were monkey bars, slides, swings, and other playground things. Eyes wide, she dashed off with Collin to play tag, desperately needing to burn off the energy that had been building inside. After several rounds of successfully not being “it,” she left to cool down. 

That’s when she remembered: Emily! Unfortunately, she hadn’t been able to bring Pumbaa out with her. Scanning the area, she spotted the tan girl sitting on the swings alone, feet unable to touch the ground. Sneaking behind her, Paige put her hands on Emily’s lower back and pushed. It was lucky Emily had been holding onto the chains, otherwise she’d have fallen face down into the mulchy ground. Instead, she let out a startled gasp as her swing began moving, albeit gently.

Giggling, Paige moved to the side, watching the girl’s face grow from cautious to a genuine smile. “Okay, now move your legs so you can keep moving!”

It turned out Emily needed a lesson on how to properly swing, which required her to push Paige who moved her little legs the way her daddy taught her. “When you’re going forward, put your legs like this.” She straightened her legs. “And when you’re doing back, tuck them in! Do that, and you’ll swing forever!”

They took turns swinging and pushing each other until it was time to return. Before joining the others, Paige grabbed Emily’s wrist and pulled her into an unexpected hug. “That was really fun. I have a swing at my home. You could come swing on it with me!” She moved to the doors, tugging Emily along and not giving her a chance to reply either.

 

When Samara picked Paige up from school, she sought Emily out and pressed a piece of paper into her hand. 

When Emily got home from school that day, she opened her fist and smoothed out the crumpled paper. There were eight words written in a crooked line, accompanied by a shakily drawn heart. It took her a minute to decipher it, and even then, needed her mom’s help. _Paige McCullers and Pumbaa yur nu frends forevr_. The Y’s were backwards and the R’s looked more like V’s, but Pam Fields came to the rescue.

When Liz and Nick McCullers came home that evening, Paige announced over dinner, “I’ve made a new friend. Her name is Emily and she likes penguins and Pumbaa the warthog.” She smiled broadly and proceeded to eat her peas.

When Paige fell asleep that night, she still had that smile on her face and thought, _Emily_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I won’t write Author Notes often, but this one is required and very long to avoid any future ones. This is my first story and I hope you liked the first chapter! I’m more of a reader than a writer, but this idea stuck in my head and a friend encouraged me to write it out, so here I am. I will rarely respond to a review/comment, but I will always read them. I appreciate any and all thoughts on my story. If I notice several people asking me for clarification on something, I’ll address it. I’m writing this for myself, but have decided to post it here (and on FFN) so that you guys might enjoy it. I post as often as I am able. I do have a rather busy life and oftentimes I work on my story in bits and pieces. Therefore, the updates will come slowly and randomly. Also, no amount of asking will cause me to post faster. The chapter lengths will vary. This is a slow-burn, so the content will remain largely G/T for the majority of the story; it will change to M/E eventually. I’m interested in character development, which is something that can’t happen in a few thousand words, in my opinion. I do a little research in regards to concepts, terms, and such. I am not an expert, and some of my knowledge is from my own personal experiences. So, pardon the misconceptions. If you decide to read my story and happen to stick with me throughout it, thank you! I have pre-written the first few chapters, so they will be posted within a few days of each other, but after that it’s random. I have been known to spend a month on one chapter, so please be patient. I look forward to being with you all as we follow our favorite characters!


	2. Middle of 1st grade

The sound of penguins – intermittent bursts of thrumming – filled the silence in the room. Paige fumbled sleepily for her new shnazzy alarm clock, yawning and throwing back the covers with a big huff. Tiny hands rubbed at her tired eyes before… Paige sat upright, a huge grin spreading across her face. She had a play date with Emily today!

She looked at the framed picture on her bedside table fondly. Her mom had taken it during the girls’ first play date. Emily was on the swing – Pumbaa tucked securely between her arm and body – laughing with the biggest smile directed at the camera. Paige was on the adjacent swing, an equally large grin on her face. Except, she wasn’t looking at the camera. Her eyes were settled on her friend. Paige remembered thinking how pretty Emily looked in that instant. She was glad Liz managed to capture that special moment.

A knock on her door brought her out of her reverie. The door opened a second later and her dad came in, dressed down in jeans and a t-shirt. “Paigey? Good, you’re up. I’ve got breakfast ready downstairs. Mom had to meet with someone for work, but she’ll be back before Emily comes over. Are you excited?”

She nodded eagerly, jumping out of bed and opening her dresser drawers. Since she was a big girl now, she’d decided that she could pick out her own outfits. She spoke quickly as she tossed some jean capris and a long sleeve t-shirt on (no modesty in sight). “Em and I are gonna play outside today.”

“Swing set?” Nick asked knowingly.

Paige shook her head, “Nope. Can you take us to the park, Daddy?”

“What’s the magic word?”

She huffed dramatically, “Pleaseeee.”

Nick pretended to think long and hard before sighing, “I _suppose_ I could take you girls. But after you eat breakfast, brush your teeth and c-”

“Comb my hair. You’ve only told me this since forever, Dad!” Paige left him in her room and skipped downstairs. The dining table was set up for one, food already plated and a glass of pulpy orange juice nearby. The menu was scrambled eggs, bacon, and one piece of French toast. Thrilled, the six-year-old sat down and began scarfing it all down. Except, some went down the wrong pipe and she started coughing. This was a regular occurrence, shown by Nick coming down and giving her three firm pats on her back.

“Paigey, how many times do I need to tell you to slow down and actually chew your food? We could take an x-ray right now and probably find a whole chunk of bacon in your tummy, not even chewed up!” He couldn’t help but guffaw at his daughter’s constant energy. Last year for Christmas, he and Liz snuck a pack of Energizer batteries in Paige’s stocking. After they explained the joke to her through tears of laughter, Paige had scrunched up her nose and retorted, “I don’t need these. They need me!” More laughter ensued after that.

Finally able to breathe, Paige giggled and washed everything down with juice. “I’m done! When’s Em gonna get here?”

“Ten minutes. Hurry and go-”

Paige flew up the stairs, missing the rest Nick had said. Unable to take the stairs two at a time (yet), she scrambled up on all fours, channeling her inner dog. Once in the bathroom, she set her Scooby-Doo timer for three minutes and proceeded to brush her teeth until it went off. Tossing the toothbrush carelessly into the cup holder, she raked her brush through her hair, taking care to make sure her bangs were in order. They were new, something she insisted on over the summer. They were cut low, brushing her eyebrows. Her hair had a slight wave to it, which gave the overall look a messy feel. Oh well. Satisfied with her work, Paige settled on her bed, Pumbaa in her lap. She waited, listening carefully for the sound of a car engine. This lasted two minutes before she jumped up and stood by the window facing the street. Where was her mom? Emily?

Sighing, she fiddled with Pumbaa’s wings. “Are you excited? Maybe we’ll see a doggie at the park!” The muffled hum of an engine interrupted her chat with the penguin. Jumping in place, she saw two cars pulling into the driveway. One was her mom’s and the other she recognized as the Fields’ Toyota 4Runner. Nick called her downstairs. With Pumbaa in her grip, she made her way down the stairs, careful not to fall. As she touched the last step, the front door opened. Liz came through, briefcase in hand. Immediately after, Pam entered with Emily right behind. Paige’s face lit up, thrilled to see her friend.

“Paige! How are you? Is school going well? Are you keeping Emily in line?” Pam was in a chatty mood; usually she just greeted the girl before moving on to talk with Liz. Not today it seemed.

Hiding her impatience, Paige grinned up at the woman and nodded. “Oh yeah. I’m good. We had a spelling quiz Friday and I nailed it! Em doesn’t need me to keep her straight. I’m the one that needs her! Mrs. Cress tends to yell at me a lot for-” Oops, she wasn’t supposed to say that!

Liz was in the other room luckily, so she didn’t hear. But Pam raised her eyebrows, a smirk on her lips. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell your mom. You and Emily go play, okay? What are you two going to do?”

“The park!” Paige chirped.

She saw Emily’s shy smile grow wider, happy to hear the news. They always had the most fun there, with so much space to run around and burn energy. Paige grabbed Emily’s hand and dragged her upstairs before Mrs. Fields could talk any more. Once in her room, she collapsed in a fit of giggles for no reason other than being with her friend. It was only after she calmed down that she spotted something new about Emily. Jumping up, she looked closer. “Em! You have a stuffed animal! What’s its name?”

Suitably prompted, the tan girl carefully revealed her toy from under her arm. It was a blue-grey shark with a red bandana tied around its neck. “His name is Bruce, from Finding Nemo. It’s the Rosewood High School’s mascot. I got him from the head swimming coach. I wanna swim for the team when I get older!”

Eyes wide, Paige grinned. “Wow, that’s so cool! You swim? I didn’t know that. I kinda know how, but maybe I’ll get lessons. We can swim together! Do you want to, instead of the park?”

“I didn’t bring my swim suit with me…”

“Don’t worry, Em. You can use one of mine! We’re the same, I think.” Paige stepped close, her nose almost brushing Emily’s. Their eyes were level, but as Paige lifted her hand to compare, her results were skewed, as most seven-year-olds tended to unknowingly lift up a bit. “I’m a little taller, by this much.” She pinched her index finger and thumb together with half an inch of space between. 

“No way! I’m looking right into your eyes. We’re the exact same!” Emily proceeded to do the same process, except her hand managed to stay level and it ended up stopping right on top of Paige’s. “See?”

Paige couldn’t help but giggle at Emily’s triumphant smile. “Yeah, okay Ems. Whatever you say! So you wanna swim today? Pumbaa and Bruce can come with, but sit on the chairs and watch. It’ll have to be the inside pool though, because it’s winter.”

When the tan girl gave her approval, Paige shot for her dresser, yanking the bottom drawer open. She presented Emily with two options, both one-pieces; one was navy blue and white, and the other was solid black. Emily took the black one, so Paige tossed the leftover on her bed and started to undress. 

“Paige? What are you doing?” Emily sounded nervous.

The girl in question stopped pulling her capris down and quirked her lips at Emily. “Uh, changing? If you don’t wanna do it in my room, the bathroom’s down the hall.”

Emily’s face had a slight reddish hue to it as she scurried out of the room, but Paige didn’t see it as she went back to changing. Tripping slightly as she slipped out of her jeans, Paige finally managed to wrestle the swimsuit on. It was just a bit snug. She’d have to get some new ones – especially if she and Emily were going to swim more often.

There was a knock on her door, which opened to reveal Nick. “Honey? There isn’t a pool at the park...”

“Can we go to the pool instead? Em swims and I wanna take lessons!”

He started to reply, but moved to the side when Emily returned. “Hey, Emily. So, you guys want to go to the pool? We can do that. It’s only open for another week though, because it closes on the first of November for renovations. I’ll be downstairs. Pack towels and a change of clothes girls.” He and Liz had a very hands-off approach to raising Paige for certain things. They wanted her to be independent, but also be able to ask them for help. It was lucky that Paige accepted it well, instead of throwing a fit. She was determined and had a natural “I can do it myself” streak.

Once the girls were alone, Emily shyly asked, “What should I do with my clothes?”

Paige grabbed a sizable tote bag and opened it for Emily to toss her things in. Paige did the same, then moved to the bathroom and squished two towels in. “There! Let’s put some clothes on over our suits.”

Back in Paige’s room, she tossed some sweats and a hoodie over her shoulder to Emily. She chose some athletic shorts and a crew neck sweatshirt for herself. “Now we won’t freeze on the way there! You ready to go, Em?”

Emily nodded, feeling very comfortable in her friend’s clothes. Satisfied, Paige took the other girl’s hand and led them down the stairs. “Dad! We’re ready to go.”

Nick stood from his seat in the living room and grabbed the keys from the hook. “Liz, honey! I’m taking the girls to the indoor pool. We won’t be too long!”

Paige opened the front door and ran to the car empty-handed, leaving Nick to bring the bag. Emily was hot on her heels and the two of them burst into a fit of giggles outside, while trying to stop their teeth from chattering. It was cold! Finally, the car doors unlocked and they piled in quickly, yelling and hollering once inside. The chilly air definitely amped up their energy level, much to Nick’s dismay.

During the short drive over, Nick asked, “So, Emily. Paige said you swim.” He was clearly fishing for more.

The little girl nodded, “Yes. I’m on the local team. I’m okay, I mean I just started really swimming in June. My coach says I’ve gotten really good.”

“I’m sure you have! Seven months is a long time. What did your family do for the holidays?”

Paige wanted to tell her dad to stop talking to Emily, that she wanted her friend all to herself, but Emily was petting Bruce while speaking and shooting Paige sneaky grins when Nick wasn’t glancing in the rearview mirror. So, she let them talk.

“My dad was home, so we all just stayed home and watched some Christmas movies and played board games. We went sledding too when it snowed. Well, my mom stood and took pictures while me and my dad went down the hill. It was so fun, I wish you guys had been home.”

“That’s great! Your dad’s in the National Guard, right?” Nick pulled into the parking lot. “Yeah, we’re sad we missed out on that too. But, we went to visit relatives over in California for a couple weeks. Next year, hopefully we’ll stay in town!”

Emily nodded to confirm Nick’s question, but smiled shyly at Paige as she replied, “I’d like to spend next Christmas with you guys too.”

Paige grinned, nodded eagerly. She didn’t get a chance to elaborate because they were at the pool.

The three of them checked in at the front and not five minutes later, Paige and Emily jumped into the pool, hands clasped together. Nick settled down in a chair and read the newspaper. The girls splashed around for some time before Paige pulled herself out and sat on the edge. “Hey, Em. Can you show me what you do at the swim games?”

“They’re called meets, but I guess!”

Paige watched with fascination as Emily did a lap of freestyle, breaststroke, backstroke, and then a somewhat sloppy butterfly. By the end of it all, the swimmer was tired, catching her breath while she held on the edge by Paige. She usually didn’t swim that hard even during practice, but the smile her friend was sporting was well worth it. 

“Emily, that was so cool! You’re so good! I really wanna learn how to swim like you. Maybe even join the team you’re on! Just – wow!” Paige continued to gush and lavish praise on Emily. She made it look so easy!

The remainder of the time, they stayed in the shallow end and played a relaxed game of tag while also chatting. Laughter filled the pool – they were the only ones there today. Finally, after a couple hours, Nick called it quits. He loved seeing them play and the happiness in Paige’s eyes was clear. But his stomach was growling and didn’t doubt the girls’ were too.

Dried and dressed in the sweats and hoodies, the girls shuffled into the car, headed home. Paige leaned against the door and Emily huddled against her friend. Their stuffed animals lay on the other side. Everyone was tired. Eyes closed, Paige quietly whispered in Emily’s ear, “Em? You’re my bestest friend. And I’m so happy.”

Emily tilted her head from its place on Paige’s shoulder. “Yeah? You’re mine too.”

 

When they arrived back at the house, Nick glanced back and found them both asleep, Paige’s arm wrapped around Emily.

When Liz peeked out the window, she saw her husband carrying Emily in. She rushed out and brought her daughter in.

When Pam Fields came to pick her daughter up, she was surprised by how quiet the house was. “The girls fell asleep in the car. They’re upstairs in Paige’s room,” Nick explained.

When Emily woke up a second time, she realized she was in her own bed and still wearing Paige’s clothes. Bruce was nestled in her arms. Extremely comforted by the warmth and smell of the clothes, she fell back asleep.

When Paige woke up, she was disappointed to see she was in her room, and alone. She had a feeling Emily had left. Rolling over, she felt and heard the crinkle of paper. Reading it, her frown turned upside down. The handwriting was a lot neater than hers and the spelling was more accurate. _Today wuz so much fun! Your the bestest friend ever_. It was signed with a simple _E_.


	3. End of 1st grade

“The next word is _bake_. ‘I want to bake a cake.’” Mrs. Cress slowly circled the desks, making sure her students were keeping their eyes on their own paper.

Paige huffed quietly, erasing the c she had inserted between the _a_ and the _k_. She knew what the word _cake_ looked like, and guessed that since bake rhymed with cake, only the first letters would be different.

It was the last spelling quiz – making it a test – during the last hour of class, on the last day of school, which meant summer started as soon as she finished. She trembled in her seat, barely able to contain her excitement. A desk in her cluster shifted when the occupant shifted. Paige didn’t need to peer over the privacy folders to know it was Emily.

“The next word is _field_. ‘There was a field of flowers.’” The teacher’s voice broke through any daydreaming of Paige’s. The girl smirked; she knew this word. After all, she and Emily had made a point to learn how to spell each other’s names. She struggled with _Fields_ – repeatedly forgetting the _i_ or switching the two vowels around. Emily had an easier time learning _McCullers_ , despite its length. Spelling seemed to come naturally to her. Paige was learning that many things seemed to come naturally to Emily. 

Gripping her pencil tightly, she confidently wrote: _F-i-e-l-d-s_ , but then went back and erased the _s_. She grinned widely, just knowing that Emily was probably laughing about it too.

“Okay, only three more words. But,” Mrs. Cress raised her voice over the quiet cheering. “They’re going to be challenge words.” The cheering ended and low groans echoed around. All the students dreaded this part of the quiz. Normally it was just one challenge word. Not this time.

“The first challenge word is _crowd_. ‘The crowd made it hard to see anything.’”

Paige silently yelled at herself. She definitely knew how to spell it, but when she tried to picture the word in her mind, she was at a loss. She saw the _c_ , the _r_ , and the _d_ , but the letters in between were evading her. It did rhyme with _loud_ , a word she knew because her parent never failed to let her know when she was being such. Huffing loudly, she just inserted an _o_ and a _u_ in the middle. Mrs. Cress would be moving on to the next wo-

“The second challenge word is _farther_. ‘He went farther down the road.’”

Alison with one L whined loudly a desk cluster away. Paige smirked. She knew this one mainly because she knew how to spell _father_ and _far_. Put them together, and viola! Confident, she scribbled a _3_. Last challenge word!

“The last challenge word is…” Mrs. Cress was one for dramatics. “ _Pretty_. ‘The girl is very pretty.’”

Paige flashed back to her first play date with Emily. Yes, she definitely thought the girl is very pretty. Grinning happily, she correctly spelled: _p-r-e-t-t-y_. That was easy! The quiet of the classroom was soon replaced with the rustle of loose-leaf paper held in the air for Mrs. Cress to collect. Taking her privacy folder down, Paige looked across her desk cluster and found Emily’s brown eyes. So pretty… Her friend blushed, “You ready for our sleepover, Paige?”

She nodded eagerly, jumping from her desk – bye, Belle – and running to grab her backpack. The students couldn’t leave right away, unfortunately. They had to gather all their projects and school supplies they had accumulated over the year as well as say goodbye to their dear teacher. Mrs. Cress was flittering from one to another, helping with this and that.

Both of the girls’ parents encouraged them to bring their classwork home every week. As a result, neither had much to bring home. Some of their peers were laden with artwork, old tests and quizzes, and other nick nacks. Paige only had to worry about her school supplies and Pumbaa. The schoolbooks she had used were property of Rosewood Elementary. Glancing to her left, she saw Emily at her cubby. Bruce was tucked under her arm and she was looking at some scraps of paper in her hands.

Curious, Paige moved over and when she saw the papers, grinned. “I didn’t know you kept all of them!”

Emily jumped a little, brought out of her thoughts. Shooting Paige a sheepish smile, she nodded. “Yeah, since the beginning.”

The scraps of paper had lines of writing scrawled on. Most had only one line. A few had three. They were the little notes the girls would secretly pass to each other over the school year. Paige would write down something she thought Emily would laugh at, or something a peer did, or sometimes just to say “hey.” Most of the one-liners were from Paige. Emily rarely replied because of the risk of being caught. Plus, she wanted to keep the notes and it would be embarrassing if Paige found that out. Emily would occasionally be the first to pass a note over and Paige always sent a reply back. All of the three-liners were ones Paige started, Emily replied once, and Paige sent back again. Then Emily kept it.

Paige nudged her friend, “I’m glad. Can I have them to add to my shoebox?”

Both girls had their own shoeboxes appropriately marked “Paige  & Ems” and “Emily and Paige.” They were filled with little trinkets that held dear memories they had together. Both boxes had notes from the girls to each other that they would leave secretly hidden in their room after a play date. Paige’s box had some pennies they found head’s-up while out exploring the park. It also contained a hard, orange ball Emily found and gave her for her birthday back in October – “It’s a field hockey ball, Paigey,” Nick told her. There were also various pet rocks and little pipe cleaner animals. Every time they hung out, the shoebox filled a bit more. Each found some time to take home and hide away. 

Emily’s box had a page with her favorite picture – two girls on a swingset – that Paige ripped out for her. Emily had been furious that her best friend would ruin a book like that, but at the same time she was touched that Paige did it because she knew Emily wanted it. Emily had several pictures of her and Paige that her mom had taken in her box. Paige’s copies of the pictures were strewn around her room where she saw them daily. Emily’s box also had a pair of black goggles from Paige for her birthday. Emily preferred to keep them in the box rather than use them. Plus, they were a bit big. There were other things in the box – the wrapping from her first Kit Kat candy bar, a small elephant figure Paige bought with her own money for Emily’s seventh birthday, and a ticket to the zoo in Philadelphia.

She brought the scraps to her chest, “But Paige, I want them too!” After all, she had kept them over the year.

“Can we split them? Please, Em? I really want just some of them.” Paige didn’t understand why the girl was hesitating. She offered up her best puppy-dog eyes.

Emily relented, shuffling through them, keeping a few of her select favorite, and handed over a stack. “Okay, Paige. Only because you’re my best friend!”

Paige squealed and threw her arms around Emily. “Thank you so much! Are you ready to go and play? Because I’m so ready!”

Her enthusiasm was infectious and Emily didn’t even try to hold back the huge grin or the equally tight hug she returned. They said goodbye to their teacher and a few other kids. Alison surprised them by wishing them a good summer. Until she added, “Losers.” The girls relaxed upon hearing that. The day Alison with one L was nice would be when pigs fly.

Ten minutes later the two of them were seated in the back of Samara’s Honda Civic chatting about plans for their first summer together. Since befriending Emily, Paige tended to go to the Fields’ house whenever Liz and Nick went out. Samara still came to watch Paige on occasion, but with less frequency. She remained Paige’s ride home though. When Emily came over for a sleepover, Samara drove them both to the McCullers residence. Sometimes both girls’ parents went out together and thus the seventeen-year-old babysitter also came to watch them. During these times, she tended to stay in the living room and watch television; the girls didn’t need to be entertained when they had each other.

Paige smiled back at the blond in the rear view mirror. Despite the age gap, Paige considered her a friend. When it was just the two of them at her house, they played board games or watched television or chatted about random things.

The ten-minute drive to Paige’s house didn’t last long and Emily was out of the car seconds after it stopped. Samara opened the back door for Paige and winked, “Emily’s a keeper, Paige. Don’t let her get away.”

The girl looked at her babysitter, confused, but Samara had already turned to get back in her car. Paige chased after Emily into her house, the advice shoved to the back of her mind.

By the time Paige dumped her backpack in her room, Emily was settled in the kitchen talking with Liz.

“So Emily, I don’t know if Paige has told you, but we’re going to have a po-”

“Mommy!” Paige interrupted, sending a fierce glare at her mother.

Liz clapped her hand over her mouth. “I’m so sorry, honey! I forgot you wanted to tell Emily.” She had the decency to look abashed. “You know what? I’m gonna go uh, and look at some papers for work.” She flapped her hands about and retreated to the dining room. 

“Paige?” Emily questioned.

The glare dissipated and Paige grabbed her friend’s hand before bouncing to the back door. “Okay, so this is our back yard right? Wellllll, we’re gonna get a pool! My dad says because we’re swimming a lot and getting real good, we should have our own pool! So you can come over all the time and we can swim together!” Paige stared at Emily, watching for her reaction.

Emily’s eyebrows shot up, “Paige! That’s so cool! When will it get here?”

“Well, some people have to build it, but I dunno. Hopefully this summer so we can use it!”

They wandered up to Paige’s room where she deposited her half of the notes into her shoebox. She had to dig around in the back of her closet, but she found it and placed them carefully inside. While both girls knew about each other’s boxes and where they were, they had never looked inside them. It was an unspoken rule. Paige didn’t ask to see Emily’s, nor did she offer to show her own. They knew of a few trinkets that were inside, but most were kept secret.

Satisfied, Paige emerged from her closet and found Emily looking at the picture by her bed – the swinging one. She knew Emily had a copy of her own, but didn’t know where she kept it. “So, Ems. You wanna go to the park ‘til dinner? We could look for four-leaf clovers or climb the trees.”

“Yeah, let’s do it! But after dinner I wanna show you something my daddy showed me.”

Fifteen minutes later, the girls tumbled out of Liz’s Toyota Camry and barely contained their giggles as they ran to their favorite spot under a tall, aged oak tree. The park wasn’t extravagant, certainly not Central Park. It was a medium space with trees, a few wooden benches, and one fountain that spouted water during the summer. Located in the center of Rosewood and across from the police station, it was a safe place for children to play under the supervision of their parents.

They left Pumbaa and Bruce on the bench nearby that Liz usually sat on before running to the aged playground set. There was one set of monkey bars, one slide, and three platform structures. Emily had been sorely disappointed their first visit to learn there was no swing set. However, Paige had been quick to remind her of the set at her house.

For twenty minutes, they played tag and took turns being “it.” Liz was the designated safe base. Eventually, Paige called a time out, her hands on her knees and out of breath. “Em! Can we play save the princess now?”

Equally exhausted, Emily nodded, “But I wanna be the princess this time!” Maybe it was because her dad called her his princess, but she much preferred being the princess. Plus, she liked watching Paige do everything she could to save the damsel in distress, no matter the challenges. Emily thought Paige secretly liked being the hero.

They visited Liz first and gulped down some water and munched on crackers. Refreshed, Paige sat down next to her mom while Emily scurried off under Liz’s watchful gaze. Rosewood was small, but it wasn’t exempt from crime. Paige covered her eyes with her tiny hands, waiting for the signal. Liz saw Emily’s thumbs up from the girl’s spot at the top of the metal slide.

“Be careful, Emily!”

Emily nodded vigorously. Pam Fields would skin both Emily and Liz alive if anything happened to the former.

“Sir Knight Paige McCullers, you may venture forth and rescue the princess,” Liz commanded in her best queen’s voice.

Paige shot off towards the trees and called out, “Oh Princess, where art thou?”

In the middle of the park, Emily replied, “Here, kind Knight! Please save me from the evil dragon!”

Paige grinned; the dragon was her favorite. Breaking from the trees, she ran straight towards the slide.

“Wait! Watch out for the slime monster in front of you! It can spit slime balls at you,” Emily warned.

Paige scrunched her nose in disgust, but yelled out at the imaginary monster nonetheless. She attempted a drop-and-roll maneuver that turned out to be more of a stumble-and-flail. Unfazed, she jumped up and ran around, trying to circle the slide.

“Oh! The evil kidnappers who caught me are behind you! They have swords.”

The knight whirled around and brandished a large stick. She jabbed at imaginary bandits and ducked to dodge a blow to the head. She parried a hit and kicked at the air. Huffing, Paige called out, “They’re all dead, Princess. I’ll head up to you now!”

She moved forward without issue. She had just gotten to the bottom of the ladder on the slide when Emily gave a very convincing shriek that caused Liz to ask if everything was okay. The girls reassured her they were fine and Paige scolded her for interrupting their game.

“What is it, Princess? What’s wrong?”

Emily pointed towards the sky. “The dragon! It’s coming for you! Be careful; it can use its claws and shoot fire.”

Paige scrambled back from the slide and took a very accurate stance of a brave knight preparing for battle. Fiery brown eyes scanned the sky and locked on a cloud that suspiciously looked like a dragon. Shouting a battle cry, she charged forward and swung her sword at the approaching enemy. The dragon was huge and when it billowed its membrane-like wings, Paige was forced back, unable to brace against the wind. She could hear Emily’s pretend yells, urging her onward. She had a princess to save!

Paige found her footing and began taunting the beast. “Hey, big ugly! Bet you can’t catch me!” She dashed for the shallow tree line and took cover behind a trunk. When the dragon followed and poked its large snout between the trees, the knight seized the opportunity to jab it with her sword. The dragon reared back and struggled to take to the air. However, Paige scurried forward and punched it in the stomach. In her mind, that was the final hit. The monster yielded and flew away. “Don’t come back; there’s more where that came from!”

Victorious, she ran to the slide and climbed up with ease. Grinning widely, she held Emily from behind and they slid down together. Emily stood and brushed dirt off her imaginary dress. Paige bowed low, offering her stick up to the princess. The royal lady graciously accepted and curtsied. “Thank you so much, brave knight! You saved me once again.”

Paige blushed in spite of herself. She took her friend’s hand and placed a delicate kiss upon it. She watched as Emily’s cheeks colored and wanted nothing more than to place an equally gentle kiss upon them like she’d seen in the movies. But Emily was sometimes skittish about personal space. Some days she had no problem cuddling with Paige, Pumbaa, and Bruce as they watched movies, while other days she would be hesitant to even hug Paige.

Before either girl could react further, the click of a camera distracted them. Liz had kneeled down to capture the sweet moment between the friends. “Well, Sir Knight, England thanks you for saving the princess. I have a chariot waiting to take us all to the castle for a fine feast!” And just like that, the spell was broken.

Emily giggled as Paige rolled her eyes dramatically. “Mommy, we don’t live in a castle! That’s Alison with one L. She always talks about how big her house is.” The air around them thickened. Over the past year, Ali had become Paige and Emily’s most disliked person. The blond constantly teased them, did her best to control them, and never missed an opportunity to flaunt her wealth and high societal status. Liz and Pam weren’t fond of the DiLaurentis family – hadn’t been even before their girls started school.

Emily scoffed, surprising the McCullers. “She’s a meanie and my mommy said we should ignore meanies.”

“Pam is a smart lady, Emily,” Liz commented. Why hadn’t she thought to tell Paige that?

Paige hurried to open the back door for her friend, offering a hand and a giggle. “Your chariot, Princess.”

The car ride back to the McCullers was quiet, both girls tuckered out from their games. The adrenaline rush had dissipated and left them weary. When they arrived home, Paige and Emily went upstairs to play with Pumbaa and Bruce, but ended up passing out instead.

Liz prepared dinner, rattling pots and pans, and sautéing chicken cutlets. She steamed some broccoli, cooked rice, and cut half a cantaloupe. Nick came home just as everything was ready to serve. He graciously set the table before heading upstairs to check on the girls.

Opening the bedroom door, he found them on the bed. Paige had no pillow and was spread out eagle-like with Pumbaa by her side. The pillow was actually on Paige, with Emily’s head resting on it. Bruce lay at the foot of the bed looking rather left out. “Girls, wake up,” Nick called quietly. He remained by the door as they began to stir. Emily sat up and got her surroundings. She took in their close proximity and blushed. Nudging Paige, she nearly fell off the bed when Paige responded by flailing a bit.

“Wha? Oh, hey Dad.” She sniffed the air. “Dinner time?”

Nick didn’t have a chance to respond before Paige shot out the room, Emily’s hand firmly in her grip. His job was done so he followed behind slowly.

Dinner at the McCullers’ was rarely a quiet event. When Emily visited, quiet was a non-existent word. For Paige, dinner was important. It was a constant in her life when her parents were home and they could be together. Each family member took turns talking about their day with Paige taking up most of the time with her stories. She absolutely adored having Emily over for dinner though. She was just so happy and suspected Emily felt the same. Compared to Paige, she was much quieter, but had no issue with letting Paige run the show.

“-and Em’s gonna show me something her daddy showed her! Can we be excused now?” Paige wriggled in her seat, eager to leave and play. Her plate was mostly empty, except for some little stalks of broccoli. 

“I think Emily can speak for herself,” Liz gestured.

Emily hastened to speak up, “I’m done too, Mrs. Liz. May I be excused?”

The woman smirked and relented. “I’ll take care of your plates girls, but just this once!”

Emily led Paige to the living room, hands on her hips. “This should work just fine! We need lots and lots of blankets, pillows, and a night-light. Some bed sheets too. My daddy called it a fort. It’s kind of like a castle, and he told me that soldiers would make them and defend them. Okay?”

Paige nodded enthusiastically; she was already loving the idea. “So we’ll make our own! And no growned-ups allowed. Just you, me, Pumbaa and Bruce! Let’s go get the stuff.”

For the next fifteen minutes, they ran through the house (“Careful, girls. And use your inside voices!”) collecting the necessary things. They stripped Paige’s bed of its penguin flannel sheets and took the soft, green blanket at the foot of it. Emily chatted with the parents while their daughter snuck into their room and took their very large and very fluffy down comforter and smuggled it downstairs in the living room. They took Paige’s pillow, two of the adults’ three pillows, and the guest bedroom pillow. Emily grabbed the plugin night-light from the bathroom and Paige carried their stuffed animals down.

With everything together, Emily started building the fort, directing her friend where to help and also pointing out the really important parts of it – the backs of sofas always provided a good wall. They moved said sofa around the room until the back was facing a corner. Paige brought in a chair to act as a pillar to hold the bed sheet up, which became the fort’s ceiling. Emily used a hair-tie to tie the end of the sheet around the finial of the chair. They used a tall floor lamp as another pillar. It wasn’t long before they were finished with the actual building.

“Now, the fun part! We can make it all pretty and stuff,” exclaimed Emily.

They laid the big comforter down first, then came the green blanket, and the pillows. There wasn’t a plug for the night-light, so Paige went and shuffled through her dad’s toolbox for a flashlight. It was large, heavy, and dirty. With some soap and water though, she cleaned it nicely. She grabbed another bed sheet from the linen closet and draped it over the “door” of the fort. Emily thought her friend was a natural fort maker.

Finally, the fort was finished and furnished. Both girls grinned excitedly at each other before clambering in. It was spacious enough for them to fit together and lay half spread-eagle. Paige rolled on her back and looked up. “Wow. This is so cool! I wanna sleep in here tonight.”

Emily smiled to herself, pleased. “I wish we could see stars. That’d be cool.”

Paige hummed and shifted on her side. “I had fun today, Em. That dragon didn’t stand a chance against me,” she boasted.

They were quiet for a while, Paige’s eyes tracing Emily’s profile. She was starting to doze off when her friend spoke. “I like being the princess because it’s you saving me.”

“I like being the one to save you. I wouldn’t like the game if anyone else played with us.”

Emily paused before turning her head and pressing her lips to Paige’s. It was brief and feather-light. She giggled after.

Paige’s mouth turned up as she grinned. “What was that for, Princess?”

“Princesses always kiss their knight in shining armor after they’re saved.”

The parents appeared outside the fort’s door, interrupting whatever Paige was going to say. “Girls?”

Paige poked her head out. “Can we sleep in here tonight? We’re gonna sleep soon. We’re sl-” A yawn interrupted her.

Liz smiled and nodded. “Night, Emily.” She leaned down and pressed a kiss to her daughter’s forehead. Nick offered a fist to bump.

Ten minutes later, Emily had passed out and Paige was on her way to it. She thought how she didn’t want anyone else to be Emily’s knight.

\--  
Two weeks later, Paige and Emily were being monkeys. Meaning, they were climbing trees. They’d been at it for the past few days and attempted to climb any tree they deemed worth the effort. They had tired of trees for the day and decided on the monkey bars and playground set at the park. Pam Fields had the day off and took her turn watching over the girls. She sat with a book on their usual bench.

“Paige! Come on up here.” Emily had managed to settle on top of the monkey bars, balancing herself on the single bar connecting all the bars.

Never to be outdone, Paige lifted herself up, slowly moving up the triangle shaped bar. For being just seven-years-old, both girls had a decent amount of muscle on them both from swimming and their high activity level. She curled her body up and her feet rested on the bar as Paige pulled the rest of her body up and onto the bars. She looked around, amazed what a few more feet above the platform could offer. Tiny hands gripping the bar tightly, she laughed out loud.

However, the sound alerted Pam of just what they were up to and she frantically made her way over. “Girls! What are you doing up there? It’s so dangerous. What if you slipped and fell and hit your head! Come down right now.” The party pooper helped them down safely and banished them from trying that again. She went back to her post.

Emily sighed heavily, bummed. Paige looked at the pair of bars a little bit away. There were three poles, and two bars between each. One bar was half a foot higher than the other. Perfect. 

Five minutes later and the girls were monkeying their way on them. Paige hung upside down, the bar held tightly between the backs of her knees. She started getting dizzy though, courtesy of all the blood flowing down. Reaching up, she righted herself before dropping on solid ground. Emily was on the higher one. “Paige, watch!”

She gripped the bar with her hands and let her body fall, resulting in a tricky twist move. She tried it again, but her right hand slipped and before Paige could rush forward to help, Emily was on the ground, cradling her left wrist and tears streaming down her face. Paige kneeled down and called to Pam. The woman saw her daughter crying and practically flew over. 

After several minutes of crying and hiccupped explanations, all three of them were in Pam’s 4Runner headed to Rosewood’s Hospital. Being a small town had its benefits and Emily was able to be seen almost immediately. Paige had grabbed Emily’s uninjured hand and had yet to let go. Five minutes in the assigned exam room and the door opened to reveal a young, handsome man. “Hello. I’m Dr. Wren Kingston.” He looked up from the file folder and offered a kind smile.

He asked some general questions before getting to the point. “Emily, can you tell me what happened?” He took her hurt hand and began gently prodding the area. Paige watched him closely, protective of her friend. She also was wary of his accent. Humph.

Emily shyly spoke, explaining what she and Paige were doing and how she fell. Dr. Kingston found the most painful spot, judging by the girl’s sudden whimper. Cue Paige McCullers’ death glare. Pam continued rubbing her daughter’s back.

“Well, it is definitely sprained. Maybe fractured. Mrs. Fields, I’d like to get an x-ray of her wrist. Would that be okay?”

Pam nodded, “Of course. Do we go with, or…?”

“You both can come with us, but you’ll have to wait right outside.”

They walked through the halls and entered a spacious room with an examination table and some chairs. Dr. Kingston placed a protective smock over Emily’s body and had her sit in one of the chairs. He carefully placed her left wrist on the table and maneuvered a large, steel arm with a specialized plate above the hand. “This is when we take the x-ray. If you ladies will wait just outside, we’ll be done shortly.”

A nurse in lavender scrubs entered to help the doctor while Pam and Paige stood outside. Pam explained what exactly an x-ray was and how it would help Emily. Paige was too busy worrying about her friend to listen well.

True to his word, Dr. Kingston was finished after ten long minutes. They returned to the exam room and he explained the results. Placing a black sheet of film over a viewing light, he explained, “So Emily has a fractured wrist. It’s very slight; a hairline fracture here. It’s very minute and should take at most, a month to heal. I don’t expect her to have any problems in the future. I’ll have Sally pop on a cast. Come back in 3 weeks to have it removed and then I’ll give you a brace to wear for the week. You can keep it, too.” He stood, shook hands with Pam and left.

Paige studied her friend for any signs of pain. As long as Emily didn’t move it, she was fine. Nurse Sally came in with a box of tools. She wrapped Emily’s wrist gently with a stockinette followed by some cast padding. She then applied several rolls of soaked plaster casting around the wrist followed by the last layer of blue gauze. Paige was relieved when the ordeal was over and they were headed home. Emily grabbed Paige’s hand in the car and smiled sweetly at her. “Don’t worry. I’ll be better super quick.” Paige sighed, reassured.

\--  
“Go Paige!!” Emily shouted amongst the roar from her fellow swimmates.

Unfortunately, Pam refused to let Emily swim in their second to last meet. She claimed that Emily’s wrist wasn’t 100% yet. No arguing against Pam. So, Emily sat with her local team on the bleachers and cheered her heart out for her other half. Paige was in her last heat for freestyle – her best stroke. It was no secret that Paige and Emily were the team’s best swimmers. While they didn’t spend every minute outside of school in the pool together, they split half their free time between the pool and miscellaneous fun things. Emily was serious about swimming and Paige was serious about Emily… and also swimming.

Paige couldn’t hear Emily’s cheer specifically, but she just knew that her friend was supporting her. The knowledge pushed her harder and she increased her stroke rate. Her form started getting a bit sloppy though, so she forced herself to focus. She recalled the times in the pool when Emily would act as a judge and criticize her stroke. Paige concentrated more and increased her kicking, ultimately pushing her further ahead of the girl on her toes. The solid feel of the wall cued her and she ripped her goggles off to find her teammates yelling and hollering about first place. She made brief eye contact with the second place girl. She had beautiful exotic skin, caramel-colored and dark brown eyes that were narrowed in a glare. It was Emily and Paige’s biggest personal rival in swimming: Shana Fring. Paige smirked back, pleased that she bested the other girl.

“Paige!”

Emily’s voice brought her attention back to the team and Paige pulled herself out of the water and into their waiting arms. She wriggled through until she met Emily and they embraced. “You were so incredible!”

Paige blushed, “Only because you’ve helped me a lot! It’s a bummer you couldn’t swim…” They both looked at the Ace brace on Emily’s wrist. A few more days, according to Pam and it could come off.

Liz joined the two of them and congratulated her daughter. Paige was surprised to see Samara there, but hugged her excitedly. The blond smiled and greeted Emily as well. The judges spoke over the intercom at the pool and announced the results. Paige was proud to hear the Rosewood Junior Sharks came in first place. Pam found them and together all five of them went to a local diner for a much deserved lunch. Paige couldn’t think of a better way to almost end her summer.


	4. Middle of 2nd grade

“Paige! Are you dressed and ready? They’re going to start arriving soon!”

Paige didn’t bother replying to her mother. She was too busy trying to find the perfect outfit. The cool, October weather didn’t allow for athletic shorts and a tank. Rummaging through her small selection of dresses, she disregarded them in lieu of her trusty dark-wash jeans and a Lion King t-shirt. Her slip-on Vans completed the outfit. Satisfied, she found Liz and Nick downstairs, making sure the house was ready.

The occasion? The last Saturday in October marked Paige’s eighth birthday, which meant the McCullers house was _the_ place to be for kids between the ages of 7 and 8. Since Nick came up with the idea for the 7th year party – Chuck E. Cheese – Liz had decided on hosting it this year. Choosing a theme completely opposite and much more original than her husband, she looked up ideas for at-home science experiments.

The two-car garage was cleaned and mostly emptied out. There were a few, large party tables placed inside with an assortment of ingredients to combine for experiments. The cake was in the fridge, and the guests would be arriving any time.

Paige watched her parents dart around and fix already straightened pillows, picture frames, and chairs. Liz glanced at her daughter and frowned. “I thought you were going to wear a dress, Paige.”

“I decided not to. No one else will be dressed up.”

The doorbell rang, sending Liz into a barely concealed frenzy. Paige safely escaped any possibility of being cajoled to change. She glanced at the large grandfather clock in the hall. The little hand was at the three and the big hand had just reached twelve. There was only one person who could be so punctual. Paige hoped the other kids would arrive soon because even five minutes alone with Alison DiLaurentis was enough to make the brunette want to get another 3 bad grades on her math quizzes – and that hadn’t gone well with the parents.

Alison was dressed beautifully. Her golden curls were bouncy and her floral dress flared slightly at the hem. Though she wore no makeup (Mrs. DiLaurentis hadn’t introduced that yet to her daughter, thank god), Alison’s thick lashes caused her baby blue eyes to pop. If forced, Paige would – very – reluctantly admit that her bully was gorgeous. But only if Emily or Pumbaa’s lives were at stake. 

The blond and her mother entered the house and paused to curtly greet Liz. Mrs. DiLaurentis sniffled as she glanced around the house before offering an excuse about how her well-to-do husband needed her, and departing. Alison was barely able to say goodbye before the woman clicked away in her heels.

Paige sighed as the blond approached, a small gift bag in her hand.

“Here, Paige. Happy birthday.”

Paige barely resisted rolling her eyes. She took the gift, an eyebrow raised. It was probably the same thing as last year: a $10 dollar gift card to Target. It would be nice, if the closest Target wasn’t a thirty minute drive away. With great effort, she thanked Alison through gritted teeth.

The blond considered her duty done with and cradled her hands elegantly in front of her. “So, what are we doing? Hopefully something better than your last party. That place was disgusting and so boring.”

Paige rolled her eyes. “We’re doing science experiments. And it’s not my fault that you’re scared to get dirty and have fun.” Challenge set.

Alison lifted her chin and replied hotly, “We’ve got different ideas of fun, Paige. But, since it’s your birthday, I’ll play by your rules for today.” Challenge accepted.

The stare-off was interrupted by the arrival of more kids. The only problem with inviting classmates was that people whom she didn’t particularly care for tended to come. Well, it was more that she didn’t care about any of them except for Emily. And honestly, they were only there to have cake and be wild and have fun. It’s not like they were actually there because they cared if Paige enjoyed her birthday. And Paige had almost the exact same mindset when she was invited to the other kids’ birthdays. Except she also saw it as more opportunities to hang out with Emily. In her now eight-year-old mind, it didn’t matter that she had connected so strongly with someone or that they spent nearly every day together. So what if Alison had five friends? Or ten? She didn’t have Emily Fields as her friend and in Paige’s opinion that was horrible. But in a too-bad-so-sad way. 

Mona Vanderwaal joined them and silently handed Paige her gift before talking exclusively to Alison. Paige wasn’t sure what to think about Mona. The girl was a friend of Alison’s, but she didn’t actively bully others or flaunt her family’s wealth. Instead, she rarely spoke to anyone who wasn’t Alison and tended to (creepily) stare at others. Sean Ackard bounced up to Paige. He was a fun guy and a tough player in tag.

“Happy birthday Paige! Bet today’s gonna be fun!” He handed her a wrapped box before greeting a couple other boys who just came in.

Paige had a pile of gifts in her arms that she desperately needed to dump somewhere. Moving to the living room, she placed them on the coffee table. Quite suddenly, she was jostled forward roughly. Whirling around, her scowl dissolved as she was tugged into a tight hug. “Paige! Super happy birthday to you!”

She grinned wickedly. Now the party could really start. “Thanks, Em! I’m so happy you’re here. Alison is already being annoying. We’re doing science experiments, my mom said.” She looked around at the mass of kids. It seemed mostly everyone had arrived in the past ten minutes. She hadn’t exactly been keeping track of what was going on around her though – too eager for her friend to join.

Emily scrunched her nose adorably, “Well, we can just ignore her like usual, right? Just work on making the biggest and bestest experiment!”

Paige nodded, albeit sheepishly. “I may have sorta kinda said she was scared to have fun and get dirty at my party today. So, we might not be able to ignore her…”

“Paigeeee,” Emily groaned. Why her friend felt the need to egg on their bully was beyond her.

 

Not all of Paige’s classmates were able to make it to the party. 

Liz ushered all ten children into the garage and started explaining the process of how it all would go. Except Noel Kahn saw the bucket of goo and proceeded to ignore Liz and stick his hands right in it. Surprised by either the coldness or the sudden gooiness of the stuff, he jumped back, taking the lime goo with him and splattering it on nearby kids. The girls shrieked and the boys swarmed the bucket. It all went downhill from there. Kids scattered and moved about the room, picking up the various materials and strange things that were placed on the tables. It was like a cafeteria food fight, but with science stuff. And they weren’t throwing it at others intentionally, though it was a serious side effect.

Liz looked on, shocked that she lost control of the children so quickly. One minute they were shifting in place somewhat listening to her, and the next: mass chaos. Nick placed a hand on her shoulder and said, “It’s okay, honey. You did your best. All we can do is play supervisor. And make sure Paige is having fun.”

As if on cue, Paige screamed as Caleb Rivers chased after her with his hands outstretched. It looked like something out of a cartoon show, except his hands were completely covered in green slime and feathers. Both were grinning like mad scientists – how appropriate.

In the middle of it all, Alison and Mona were sitting at the table, extremely focused on following the instructions printed to make gluep. Alison mixed the glue and water in a Tupperware container and immediately after, Mona added the pink food coloring and borax. However, the borax was supposed to be mixed with water separately, then added to the glue-water mix. Alison yelled at her helper for a good minute before continuing with the experiment, muttering veiled threats under her breath – like hiding Mona’s hairbrush or mixing all her nail polish colors together.

Luckily for Mona, the gluep successfully formed and Alison was sure she’d made a better experiment than Paige.

The birthday girl in question ran by with Emily hot on her heels. Both girls were running from Caleb and his new side-kick, Hanna Marin. The pair in pursuit had ransacked the food inside and was throwing gummy bears all other the place. Liz and Nick were going to think twice about hosting a party next time.

Caleb had the bears in one hand and used his other to brush his silly long hair out of the way. Paige took this opportunity to launch her own weapon at him: jumbo marshmallows. They were supposed to be used in an experiment where the kids try to make them sink, but this was way more fun – and useful too!

Two of the three marshmallows hit the boy while the last one somehow reached Alison and landed in the container of gluep. Yuck. Alison’s shriek was the only thing Paige needed to hear before ducking behind a mass of kids who actually settled down and were working on changing a chrysanthemum’s flower petal color with dye.

“Em! Come sit with me. We can blend in here and hide from Alison.”

Emily joined Paige, but looked doubtful, “You’re the birthday girl, Paige. I’m pretty sure you can’t hide unless you’re in a box or something… But I won’t let you do that!” She saw the glint in her friend’s eye.

Without adult help, all the kids managed to calm down and try the experiments. After fifteen minutes of going absolutely nuts of course. Liz and Nick walked around helping and offering hints.

Paige and Emily worked individually on the chrysanthemums. Paige made sure her white flower was in the middle of the plastic vase before adding several drops of blue food coloring to the water. Eagerly, she stared intently at the petals, waiting to see them change color. Two minutes passed with nothing to show. Deflated, she huffed. “Em, how long ‘til the flower changes color?”

Liz was passing by and answered her daughter, “It could take up to a day, honey. Be patient and I’m sure it’ll turn out beautifully.”

Paige sighed again, thinking. She peered at Emily’s little space and watched for a few seconds before deciding that sadly, patience was the way to go. Bored, she turned to chat with Caleb and Hanna who had also joined the table when Alison freaked. Paige liked both of them and considered them friends. The pair tended to stick together which prompted endless teasing and several rounds of “Caleb and Hanna sittin’ in a tree…” Occasionally they would meet Paige and Emily for a playdate, but they were few and far between. 

What really brought the four of them together was Alison. The blond had a penchant for teasing those not as perfect as she and three of them fit the bill. Alison tended to go after Caleb’s shaggy mop of hair and adopted parents. Hanna was overweight, but no seven-year-old should be self-conscious about their figure at that age. Alison made sure Hanna was. Paige didn’t know why Alison disliked her, but Alison picked on everything about her; from her bangs to her clothing style, her personality, and even her voice. In Paige’s mind, there was absolutely no reason for Alison to bully Emily. Emily was pretty, smart, athletic, funny, kind, and overall a great person. So why bully her? Paige had a hunch it was because Emily wasn’t Alison’s friend. Admittedly, she felt a bit smug about it because she got the girl (though she wasn’t thinking it like that).

Though Paige disliked Alison, she didn’t go out of her way to get revenge. She would’ve liked to, but Emily wasn’t the violent, revenge kind of person. She’d rather kill with kindness. So, Paige did her best to ignore the jabs and mean insults. Most of the other victims of Alison’s bullying were too scared to do anything, so the blond got to run the grade at the young age of seven unhindered.

“Who are you guys gonna give your flowers to?”

Paige watched as the two failed horribly at discreetly looking at each other. Say no more. “That’s cool. I’m giving mine to Ems, of course.”

Hearing her name, Emily turned and join the conversation. “I’m making mine green ‘coz it’s Paige’s favorite color.”

Paige had expected as much, but her cheeks reddened all the same.

A half hour later, Paige and Emily were working on making quicksand using corn flour and water. They’d just succeeded, exchanging high-fives when Alison graced them with her presence. She looked down her perfect nose and placed her container of pink gluep beside the quicksand.

“My gluep beats your boring quicksand. Mine is like water, but hard too.”

Emily beat Paige before she could open her mouth. “Funny, ours does the same. When you stir it fast, it gets all hard. But if you do it slowly, it’s like water.” Emily smirked, pleased that she could show Alison up and kind of stand up for Paige too. She poked the gluep and found that it indeed hardened when prodded. Shrugging, she looked at the blond, “Yours is cool and all, but this is made by the birthday girl, so it’s the best.”

Alison fumed, her cheeks reddened, and she even stomped her foot. Luckily, before she could chew the two girls out, Liz captured all the kids’ attention with one very important word. “Who’s ready to have some cake?”

Every kid, Alison included, screamed their approval. The garage lights went out and Nick entered slowly, a large vanilla cake in his grasp. Eight candles were lit and flickered as he made his way to Paige. He placed it before her and led them all in singing Happy Birthday.

Paige had a wide smile plastered on her face the whole time, laughing when Emily danced in her seat and added the “Cha-cha-cha’s.” When the song was over, Paige screwed her eyes shut and wished for the same thing as last year: that she and Emily would be best friends forever. Everyone clapped and then the cake cutting began. Liz took over while Nick scooped chocolate ice cream in paper bowls.

The garage was considerably quieter when each kid had his or her own slice of cake and serving of ice cream. There were second servings, but Liz had to firmly deny Noel of a third. Paige thought he was fat enough.

When everyone was sated and full, they migrated to the living room to open presents. Being spunky and loud and generally an average now-eight-year-old, Paige typically relished being the center of attention. Opening birthday presents was the only exception. She reasoned it was partly because she could almost feel the jealousy oozing from the other kids (even if it was just a five dollar gift card to Target), and the other part she couldn’t figure out yet. She just knew that she wanted to get it over with quickly. She was also eager for the party to end. Having Emily in her home made her feel funny and she wanted everyone gone so it could just be the two of them and they could build another fort.

Ten minutes later, she unwrapped the last gift – a card from Emily that read, _You get your precent later!_ She smiled when Liz took a picture as she had been doing for the previous gifts. The room had mostly been quiet, but it came to life as the party came to a close. A few early parents were mingling off to the side, but as more arrived, the kids thanked Liz and Nick, wished Paige a happy birthday, and then left.

Hanna surprised her by pulling her into a tight hug and then bouncing out the door, Caleb not far behind. Noel was his usual mischievous self and had a glob of gluep in his hand when he asked for a high-five. Paige obliged reluctantly and they were both subject to the blue gunk when it splattered on them. He left before he could be admonished more, but her shrieks followed him out. Jerk. Alison and Mona simply thanked her before gliding out the door with Mrs. DiLaurentis. Spencer Hastings and Aria Montgomery offered a brief hug and Toby looked to the floor as he mumbled a “thank you.”

Eventually it was just the McCullers, Emily, and Pam. The grown-ups chatted while the girls sat on Paige’s bed. A wrapped box laid between them. Emily wrapped it, if the taped rips were any indication. Paige thought it was wrapped perfectly, rips or not. She picked it up and began carefully unwrapping it.

There were two items: a thread bracelet; and a face down picture frame. Paige examined the bracelet. It was clearly handmade. There was a fancy pattern, but the actual details were skewed slightly and the bracelet itself wasn’t straight; it slanted gradually to the left, probably because Emily was left-handed. What Paige loved about it were the colors. She counted six total, three different shades of green and three of blue. Their favorite colors combined. Paige put it on, but much to Emily’s embarrassment and distress, the bracelet was huge and didn’t stay on her wrist at all.

“It’s okay, Em. When I get older, it’ll fit! For now,” she stood and put it in her shoebox. “It’ll stay in there safe ‘til I get bigger! Thanks so much!” She tackled her friend in a hug.  
“Look at the other thing!”

Paige needed no more encouragement. Sitting back, she lifted the frame up and out of the box. Flipping it over to look at the picture, she gasped. Instead of a picture, it was a drawing on regular printer paper. It was a copy of the picture on Paige’s side table – the swing set photo. Wide-eyed, she looked at Emily for an explanation.

“I know it’s your favorite, and I like to draw, so I drew that… Do you like it?”

“You draw? I had no idea! I love it so much! Ems, you’re like, amazing!” Granted, anything made by Emily would be amazing in Paige’s eyes, but still. For a seven-year-old, Emily was talented. It was in colored pencil, and the colors were rather basic, with lots of mixing, but the lines and actual drawing were superb.

Emily visibly relaxed, pleased that her gifts were so well received. Both girls had discovered how much more meaningful homemade gifts were and when able, they would give each other something they made.

Paige placed the drawing on her dresser front and center. Then, she pulled Emily into another hug, unconsciously inhaling her apple-cinnamon scent. She couldn’t be any happier.

 

When Pam called Emily down, Paige darted to her mother’s office and grabbed a sheet of paper and a blue pen. She stuck her tongue out as she scribbled quickly before joining the others at the front door. She handed Pam a folded piece of paper when Emily went to the living room to grab her sweater. Paige had an especially hard time saying good-bye to Emily even though she knew she’d see her at school on Monday.

When the Fields’ arrived home, Pam delivered the letter to her daughter.

When Emily was positive her mom wasn’t going to disturb her, she carefully opened the paper and laughed out loud. She traced the lines with her finger and decided that Paige should never be an artist. She looked at the stick figures with tufts of hair and names messily labeled below. The figures were holding hands and Paige’s scrawl titled it _Bestest Friends Forever & Ever & Ever_. There was a heart between them too. Emily smiled fondly. She folded the artwork and placed it in her shoebox.


	5. Summer & beginning of 3rd grade

Paige heaved yet another sigh. She was completely and utterly bored. Technically, she had something to do – was doing it currently. But once she realized she had read the same sentence three times already, she threw the book down. Stupid summer reading. Liz had put her on a reading schedule of a chapter a day, rain or shine, Emily or not, busy or not. Paige needed to read the remaining two pages of _The BFG_ by Roald Dahl before she could go to bed. It was nearly eight o’clock. She shifted on the couch until she was hanging upside down, her heels firmly dug into the cushions. She could hear Liz washing dishes in the kitchen from their late dinner and had no doubt Nick was in the same room, reading. Her parents were disgustingly sweet and attached and loving and romantic like that.

There was a knock on the front door. Several more immediately followed. They were loud and aggressive. Someone clearly wanted to get in.

Paige bolted upright and watched as her father strode to the door. She could tell by the way his eyebrows furrowed and his walk was slow and cautious that things might get scary. It could be an angry co-worker wanting to punch Nick. That had happened once, and ever since, Paige was wary of both Nick’s colleagues and him going to work. The guy, Michael Rhodes had been working towards the promotion to business operations manager, but Nick beat him. Their boss had told Michael that he hadn’t even been considered, that Nick had it from the start. Ouch.

Paige watched as he opened the door minutely and peered out, but then quickly opened it fully, exclaiming, “Emily! What are you doing here?”

The girl stumbled in, her body shaking. Paige could tell she was barely keeping it together. Emily’s bottom lip was firmly griped between her teeth, and tears were brimming in her eyes. Paige jumped up and led them both upstairs and onto her bed, not letting her parents question Emily at all. Besides, Liz would be on the phone with Pam right now.

Rosewood’s weather in the summer was rather ideal. The days weren’t sweltering, and the nights were cool. Emily was wearing one of Paige’s hoodies, but she was still shivering. And on the verge of tears. They didn’t live too far from each other; less than a five minute drive. But it was a long walk for an eight-year-old, especially at night.

Paige drew her into her arms, both worried and scared. Worried because her best friend was in tears for some unknown reason. Emily rarely cried. She might let a few tears slide down, but she never sobbed the way she was now. Which was why Paige was frightened, along with the possibility that something horrible must have happened for Emily to be crying. She was almost too scared to ask. But ask she did.

“Em. Talk to me, please. What happened?”

Emily tried to speak, but to no avail. They simply waited for the sobs to subside. It took five minutes, but eventually they were reduced to hiccups. Paige felt the wet spots on her shirt from the tears when Emily lifted her head. Emily’s normally bright, brown eyes were red, and her bottom lip was trapped again by her teeth.

Paige moved to lean against her pillows and Emily followed, curling up beside her and resting her head in Paige’s lap. They were both quiet for a long time. Paige listened to the muffled voices of her parents and Emily closed her eyes, exhausted from crying. Several minutes passed before Emily spoke, her voice soft and timid.

“My daddy has to leave for his job. We were eating dinner when he said he has to go to Afgenstan. Mommy didn’t say anything, just stood up and left the table. Daddy talked with me and told me not to worry and to be good and to watch over my mom.” She fell quiet, lost in the memory and her thoughts.

Paige digested the news, brows furrowed. “So, the army needs him to go to Afensten, so he just goes? How long? And are you going with him?” She desperately hoped not.

Emily’s grip on Paige’s shirt tightened and she shrugged. “He doesn’t know. And no. Mommy and I are staying here. But they started talking and then arguing and she was crying. I was sad and scared, so I came over here.”

Paige untangled herself to pick some pajamas for them both, frowning at Emily’s whine of protest. There was a knock on the door and Liz came in. “I just wanted to check in on you girls. Emily, I spoke with you mom. She was really worried when she realized you weren’t home. She said you could stay the night here.”

“Thanks,” Emily whispered, wringing her hands. She kept her eyes trained on her knight in shining armor.

“Promise me you won’t do that again. You’re like a second daughter to me, and I’d be worried too.”

Emily nodded, and accepted the shorts and tank. Too tired to care, she stripped shamelessly there and then crawled under the sheets. Paige caught her mom’s eye and blew a kiss. The door closed and Paige joined Emily. Normally, the girls would lay side by side, occasionally with a finger brushing together. Tonight, Emily was vulnerable and scared, and she had no qualms with snuggling up to Paige, who fit the job as big spoon perfectly.

“Emily? I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.” There really wasn’t much more she could say. So, she tightened her grip on Emily’s waist and let sleep take her.

With those words ringing in her ears, Emily smiled and managed to forget her issues for a few minutes – all the time needed to drift to sleep.

 

Paige pressed down on the cheap stopwatch as Emily dove into the pool. They were in the McCullers’ back yard, making use of the in-ground pool installed late last summer. The contractors were hired for a high-priority job and had to postpone the pool. As it turned out, the DiLaurentis family had hired the builders to install a brand new, top of the line patio. Nick had been furious when he found out the reason and demanded a discount on their pool job.

Over the past year, both girls had improved in their swimming. For Emily, moving in the water came as naturally to her as walking on land. Paige watched enviously as her friend almost managed a perfect flip turn. She was so proud of her friend. Paige was nearly as good as Emily, but she had to work hard to keep up. She was determined to stick with her, so she always gave swimming her full efforts.

When Emily’s hand hit the wall, Paige stopped the timer. “1 minute and 50 seconds!!” That was a good time. Above average for a girl their age, but not the fastest. She knew from the glint in Emily’s eyes that she’d want to go again. Paige nodded and sat on the edge.

Emily climbed out and prepared to dive in. Paige gave the signal and started the clock. She did this two more times before Emily stopped, gasping for breath. “Your turn, Paige.”

Paige left the stopwatch by Emily and dove into the pool. She needed to warm up a little – just a couple easy laps – before she could be timed. She practiced her own flip turns, but they weren’t nearly as smooth as Emily’s. Paige tended to wobble and her body angle to the side. She was practicing though, and knew she’d nail the turn eventually. Besides, it was a pretty advanced move for them. She only did it because of her friend.

When she finished her practice laps, she pulled herself out of the water and motioned to Emily that she was ready. At the signal, Paige dove again into the pool. She kept her arms outstretched and straight before kicking into motion. Legs moving and arms cutting the water, she propelled towards the wall. She kept her breathing rhythm steady, a breath for every three strokes. Seeing the wall looming closer, she tensed, preparing for the turn. A couple feet from the wall, she flipped. She floundered a bit under the water and had to correct herself. Pushing off the wall, she returned to her steady pace, hoping she would beat her own personal record. Her arms were aching a bit, her heart pounding loudly in her ears, but still she increased her speed. Before she knew it, she slapped the wall and tore off her goggles.

“1 minute and 52 seconds! Paige, you shaved off 2 seconds of your PR!” Emily crowed, giving her friend a high-five.

Paige grinned, extremely pleased with herself. She wiggled her fingers, indicating she wanted to go again.

 

Her third grade teacher was writing on the whiteboard, so Paige took the opportunity to lean back in her chair and try to catch Emily’s eye. Mrs. McGhee was the worst teacher ever, they both had decided. She was strict and had a non-nonsense air about her which spelled trouble for the girls. The woman already discovered the closeness between them and watched them like a hawk.

Mission accomplished, Paige mouthed, “I’m so bored.”

Over the past two years, they had nearly perfected the art of lip-reading. Since the first grading period of first grade, Paige and Emily had been seated next to each other only once more. Though they had seen several movies of people passing notes in class, they didn’t want to pass the note to another classmate. It was for their eyes only. So, they became adept at reading lips.

“Me too. I want it to be Friday.”

Suddenly, blond hair blocked the way and Paige found herself looking at Alison’s smirking face. Scowling, she mouthed, “Go away, no one likes you fathead.”

Unsurprisingly, Alison didn’t know what she said. The blond rolled her eyes haughtily and faced forward. The desks weren’t in clusters but in a grid layout. How boring. Emily was back and Paige grinned, mouthing what she had said to Alison and the confused reaction. Emily giggled softly, prompting Mrs. McGhee to turn and pierce the students with her glare.

Paige rolled her eyes and huffed. They were learning how to multiply and divide. The teacher kept saying how it was just like addition and subtraction, but the girl failed to see the relation. Paige returned to her work, catching up on the problem she missed. 

_2*3=?_

Looking at the whiteboard, she copied: _2+2+2=6_. Idly, she counted the 2’s, and a thought popped into her head. Add 2, three times. Sitting straight up in her chair, her mouth formed an o. It all made sense! When Mrs. McGhee wrote _2*5_ , Paige translated it to add 2, five times. Thrilled at her realization, she leaned back, patiently waiting for Emily. “I get multiplying now! It’s like adding the num-”

“Miss McCullers and Miss Fields? Do you have something you’d like to share?”

Uh-oh. Paige whipped around, eyes wide and replied, “No, Mrs. McGhee.”

The red-head stared them both down, before placing the dry-erase marker down. She strode to her desk in the back corner of the room and scribbled on two separate sheets of paper. Both ended with a severe sounding scrawl of her signature. She stalked to Emily and handed her a note and repeated the same for Paige. “Please give this to your parents and bring it to class tomorrow.” Satisfied that she had every student’s utmost attention, Mrs. McGhee returned to the whiteboard and resumed teaching.

Paige stared at the note for a minute, barely even comprehending the words. Finally, she read it.

_Dear Mr. and Mrs. McCullers,_  
It has come to my attention that Paige seems to struggle with paying attention while I am teaching. She is a bright girl and full of potential. However, it seems that she has more interest in talking and playing with her friend, Miss Emily Fields. This is the third time this year I’ve caught them talking. I wanted to bring this to your attention, and hope that Paige will start focusing more in class. I ask for one of your signatures at the bottom of this letter.  
Sincerely,  
Carrie McGhee

Paige’s stomach flopped and landed somewhere in her throat. Her parents were going to ground her for sure! Despite just being chastised, she turned discreetly to look at Emily, to see how she was faring. The tan girl wasn’t much better. She was clutching the note tightly, the edges crinkling. Paige withdrew and sank in her seat, unable to think about anything other than the impending doom.

The day passed sluggishly after that. Two hours later, Samara picked both girls up. Paige tried again to talk with Emily, but was met with a glare and stony silence. It was obvious that Emily blamed her for getting in trouble. The nineteen-year old blond filled the silence with chatter about her college classes, to which Paige offered meek replies.

The girl was glad that Samara was still able to pick her up. Samara went to a nearby college only thirty minutes away from Rosewood. She insisted on continuing helping the McCullers and the Fields out. She was a broke college kid, after all.

They pulled up to Emily’s house first, and she got out without a word. Samara peered at her remaining protégé in the rear-view mirror and asked quietly, “What’s up, Paige?”

Paige sighed and replayed The Incident. Samara was cool and Paige had no issues telling her anything and everything. She was so nice too. She sympathized with Paige, and offered some advice on how to handle her parents, as well as how to apologize best to Emily. Samara may not know Emily as well as Paige, but she did see things that both girls were oblivious to. Sometimes being the bystander had its perks.

Soon, they were parked outside the McCullers. Samara turned off the engine and shifted in her seat. “So, you got a plan for your parents and Emily?”

Paige nodded. “I might need your help for Emily though… Could you drive me over later?”

The blond smirked and nodded before urging the girl out and driving away.

Paige took a deep breath and opened the door. “Mom, I’m home!” She remembered Liz saying she would be home early today. Perfect.

The woman yelled from upstairs. Paige went up, note in her hand. She stood in the doorway to her parents’ bedroom, watching her mother read in the bed for a few seconds. “Mom? Can I talk to you?”

Liz removed her glasses and placed her book down. “Sure, honey. Come on up.” She patted the space next to her.

Paige shuffled closer and climbed up. “Something happened in class today, and I hope you won’t be mad.” She had Liz’s full attention now.

“I got in trouble.” She said it quickly, ripping the band-aide off. “Mrs. McGhee gave me a note that you have to sign. Emily and I were… talking in class today and Mrs. McGhee caught us. I’m sorry, Mommy. Please don’t be mad.” Paige cast her eyes down, every bit the guilty and apologetic child.

Liz studied her daughter wordlessly, and gently took the letter and read it.

Paige watched, hoping to gain some hint on her mother’s thoughts. It wasn’t hard; Liz always wore her feelings on her face. Or something like that. Paige watched as Liz’s mouth turned from a neutral line down to a frown and her eyebrows came together.

Finally, Liz put the paper down and rubbed at her temples. “Paige, honey. I’m not mad at you. I am, however, disappointed and worried. It disappoints me to hear that you’re not focusing in class and that you’re talking with Emily. I know – and Mrs. McGhee knows – how smart and amazing you are. But you aren’t doing smart things, and you’re not paying attention. That’s what disappoints me. I’m worried because you’re always with Emily.” She cut off Paige’s attempt to protest. “I love Emily like a second daughter. What worries me is that you don’t make any attempt to play with any other kids. What about Hanna and Caleb? You talk about them sometimes. I just want you to branch out. It doesn’t mean that Emily’s not your best friend or that you won’t see her. Do you understand what I’m saying, Paige?”

Paige nodded mutely. She definitely understood her mother. But did she agree with her? No way.

“How about this, honey. I promise I’m not mad, and I’ll even tell your father and make sure he understands what happened. You just have to promise to play with other kids too. Okay?”

Paige sighed, nodding. It was way better than getting grounded. “I promise, Mommy.”

They embraced and when they parted, Paige murmured, “Emily’s mad at me because I got us in trouble… I want to go and say sorry. Can I?”

Liz checked her watch, “I’ll get my thin-”

“Actually, Samara said she can drive me. She gave me some help on it. Here’s what I was thinking…”

Forty-five minutes later, Samara’s red Honda Civic pulled outside the McCuller’s house. Paige hopped in and when prompted, told her how it went with Liz.

“I always knew your mom was cool. I like the outfit. You got everything ready?”

Paige assessed her clothes and nodded. “Thanks again for driving me.”

The drive was quick and quiet. Once at the Fields’ residence, Paige jumped out. Samara was going to wait and drive her back home.

The girl rang the doorbell, her prop in one hand, an envelope in another. Pam answered, not particularly surprised to see her. But her eyebrows rose when she looked Paige up and down. “Emily’s upstairs.” She’d save the chat with Paige for later.

Paige scurried up the stairs and took a breath before tapping with one finger on the door in a tune that both girls came up with. “Go away, Paige.”

Unperturbed, she opened the door and as soon as Emily scrambled to her feet, Paige knelt down on one knee, head down. “Princess Emily, I ask that you accept and read this letter. It’s very, very important.” She extended the envelope.

The floor was carpet, so Emily’s slow approach was quiet. She took it and opened the letter, reading it aloud. “’Dear Princess Emily. It is with the mostest, sincerest, bestest, seriousest apology that I say I’m sorry. Sorry for getting us in trouble and sorry for making you mad at me. My tummy was turning all over ever since you stopped talking to me. I promise to never get you in trouble again, cross my heart and hope to die. I hope you will say yes to forgiving me and we can be best friends again. I’ll slay 100 dragons and bullies for you. Love, Paige your Knight in Shining Armor.’”

Emily looked at Paige, dressed somewhat as a knight. She had a hat made of newspaper and a paper towel sword. Her clothes were all black, and she even had war paint on her cheeks.

Paige waited impatiently to hear whether Emily would forgive her or not. She got her answer when she was bowled over by the girl. Emily had tackled her in an almost tearful hug. Paige could see her friend biting her lip to keep them at bay.

“Yes! I forgive you! Paige, I’m sorry for being mad at you. I don’t ever want to fight with you again! It’s the worst. My tummy was rumbling too, and not in the hungry way.”

Paige could have cried with relief. She offered up her pinky. “I pinky promise to always be your best friend. No matter what.”

Emily hooked her pinky around Paige’s. Promise sealed and locked.


	6. Middle of 3rd grade

As Paige opened the front door, a blast of cold wind swept in.

“Hey, Paige! Are you ready?”

She looked up into Samara’s pretty blue eyes and nodded eagerly. They both clambered into her car and set off to the only diner in Rosewood. It was a few days before Christmas and Samara had suggested the two of them go out to eat and spend some time together before she left for a trip with some college buddies.

“So, how’s school?” Samara asked as she opened the diner door and led them to a seat.

“It’s winter break and you ask about _school_?” Paige wrinkled her nose and paused dramatically before actually answering, “The last day of school stunk. We had to take a big math test, and I’m not sure I did so good. Multiplying is easy peasy, but dividing? Em’s so good at it, and I’m just over here like help!” She waved her hands around.

“If you ever need any help,” Samara offered. She was going to say more, but the waitress came to take their drink order.

“Hot tea, please.”

“Hot chocolate! With marshmallows!”

When the waitress walked away, Paige mimed lifting a tea cup, her pinky out. “I’m Samara, and I drink tea.”

The blond laughed, smacking the girl’s arm lightly. “You’ve been watching too many movies. And your British accent is horrible!”

Paige grinned. “So, do you have a boyfriend in college?”

Samara chuckled, “No way, boys have cooties, remember? You’ve got your cootie shot, right?”

The girl gasped, eyes wide and totally falling for it. “That’s a thing? No wonder Hanna’s always hanging with Caleb. She must have gotten his cooties!”

Samara leaned over and grabbed Paige’s arm. “Okay, do you have the cootie shot? No? I’ll give it to you right now! You can only get it from someone who has the cootie shot too.” She then proceeded to administer the shot. She drew a couple shapes, “Circle, circle, dot, dot. Now you have the cootie shot!”

Paige took her arm back and looked at it, suddenly skeptical. “Really? That’s it?”

The waitress brought their drinks and took their food orders.

“I’ll have the turkey club on wheat, toasted without onions, please.”

Paige looked at the menu for a few seconds before slapping her finger down on a random item. “I’ll have the… broccoli and green bean cheddar soup…. Yuck.” She covered her mouth, mumbling a sincere apology for insulting the food. She liked to pride herself on her impeccable manners and charming personality. Complaining about food was not being nice. Luckily, Samara saved her.

“You’re so silly. I’m paying, even though I’m a broke college kid, so pick something that you’ll actually eat.”

She discarded the menu and ordered a small salad and half a Panini. Being the only diner in Rosewood, it was a popular place for casual meetings. She almost always ordered the same thing. Healthy, with a little variety. Except, if Emily was there, she would have dared Paige to order the grossest thing and eat it. She needed to remember to pretend she loved the broccoli and green bean soup next time. The waitress shrugged and left.

“Got any big plans for the rest of Christmas break, Paige? Shredding the snow-gnar, skydiving into a pile of snow, going out of town, or maybe looking for the abominable snow man?”

Paige giggled. Samara was the perfect combination of beautiful, kind, and goofy. Kinda like Emily. Actually, almost exactly. If the blond were their age, Paige was positive they’d be the three musketeers. Being the dynamic duo was pretty great, with Samara the super cool side-kick babysitter, so… 

“We’re gonna stay here. My mom’s sister Nicole and Uncle Conner are coming to visit the day after Christmas. They live in California! I went last year, and it was so pretty and warm. Emily and her family are gonna come over Christmas day so we can do gifts and stuff. But I know she and I will hang out before that. She’s coming over tomorrow, actually. Did you know: it’s supposed to snow on Christmas!”

Samara nodded, “Yeah, I was watching the weather this morning.” She laughed when Paige scrunched her nose at that. “Hey, I’m an adult, so I gotta do adult things! Watching the news and weather is one of them. So is having a job.”

“I don’t wanna grow up at all then! That’s so boring.”

Their food came and put a halt on the conversation. Paige drizzled Italian dressing over her salad and started aggressively stabbing it, knowing it would make Samara laugh.

“Easy there, tiger! Those spinach leaves did nothing to deserve that. Pretend you’re the Queen of England and every time you sit down to eat, you get recorded and all your English minions turn on their TV to watch you. You don’t want to look like a barbarian just stuffing your face, do you? You need to be classy, as a Queen should be. Take small bites, stab less, and chew more. Like this.” She proceeded to take a bite out of her sandwich while looking elegant and model-esque. Paige was impressed.

Taking more care with her eating manners, Paige quickly moved onto the Panini. Ham, Swiss cheese, mayonnaise, lettuce and tomato. Yum. She began counting in her head how long it would take Samara to notice that she was copying her, bite for bite and drink for drink. She was up to fifteen when the blond quirked her eyebrow and swallowed her mouthful. “Yes, copycat?” It didn’t help that Paige had been on the verge of giggling after every chew.

“Yes, copycat?” she parroted.

Samara rolled her eyes and finished her sandwich off. “I’m silly.”

“I’m silly.”

“I’m a dork.”

“I’m a do- Hey!”

Samara laughed. “You can’t outsmart the master! Are you done?”

Paige nodded. The waitress came with the check, and they drove back to the McCullers’. On the way, Samara went fishing. “So, any cute boys for you at school?” She watched the girl’s face carefully in the rearview mirror.

As predicted, Paige’s nose wrinkled and she very eloquently pretended to throw up and die. She could be an actress with those skills. Boys were so gross! They had cooties! Samara had said as much during lunch. “No! Yuck. They’re stinky, mean, dumb, and gross.” More gagging ensued.

Samara’s laugh filled the car. “So just sticking with your girlfriends right now, huh?” Yeah, she was a sneaky devil.

Paige took a moment to answer; the wording confused her. “A girlfriend is a girl who’s dating a boy, right? I’m a girl, so I couldn’t have a girlfriend.”

“A girlfriend could be lots of things. It could mean a friend of yours, who is a girl, or it could be like you said: a girl that a boy’s dating. It could be-”

“Okay, then yeah, I’m just sticking with my girlfriends. Girls who are my friends,” Paige confirmed happily, pleased that Samara had cleared it up. “Girls are so much better, they’re not smelly, they’re nicer – except for Alison – and they’re fun! Boys drool and girls rule. Oh! Girls go to college to get more knowledge and boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider.” She laughed at her own cleverness.

She didn’t hear Samara muttering under her breath, completely agreeing with everything she’d just said.

They arrived at the house and went inside. They both had little gifts for each other. Liz shouted “Hello!” from the dining room as they went upstairs to Paige’s room. She dug around in her closet and pulled out a very small gift bag, handing it to the blond. “You first!”

Samara settled on the bed and reached in, laughing a bit as well. “Oh, Paige! It’s so awesome! Did you make it?”

The girl nodded. She’d made a simple keychain for her favorite – and only – babysitter. It was beaded, with various colors. The beads were small cubes, with letters on each side. Paige, being so artistic and creative, decided to arrange the colors in the order of the rainbow. The beads spelt out “ _S-A-M-A-R-A_.” There were very tiny black, circular beads that separated the letters. Paige was extremely proud of it. She beamed, “So, you like it?”

Samara immediately attached it to her car keys. “I love it! Thank you so much, Paigey!” She rooted in her purse and handed Paige a card.

The girl ripped it open rather aggressively, and read the written words first before looking at the two tickets tucked inside.

“They’re for a circus that’s coming to town in the spring. I thought you and I could go. They’re supposed to be really great.”

Paige dropped the card and tickets and launched herself at Samara. “You are the coolest and bestest second best friend ever!” Seriously though, a circus! Way cool. Grabbing the tickets, Paige bolted downstairs. “Mom! Guess what Samara got me for Christmas!”

Meanwhile, Samara chuckled to herself, collected her things, and stood to join them downstairs. She took a moment to survey the girl’s room. There had been an increase in pictures strewn around, almost all of Paige and Emily. Some included Liz and Nick, even a couple of herself. Grinning knowingly, she walked downstairs.

Paige presented Liz with the tickets, who then proceeded to “ooh” and “ahh” at the idea. The young woman she’d hired had wormed her way into the family, and Liz couldn’t be happier. Paige watched as her mother and Samara chatted briefly and hugged. She dutifully escorted the blond to the door and gave her a tight hug around the middle. Samara was pretty tall, and Paige was about a foot and a half shorter.

“Samara? Thanks so much for today. I had a lot of fun.”

“Of course.” She bent down to Paige’s height and looked her in the eyes. “Hey, if you ever need someone to talk to besides Emily, I’m here, okay? You’ve got my cell number. I’m just a call away, even when I’m at college.” She wrapped her arms around the girl.

“Merry Christmas, Paige. I hope you have a great day with the Fields.”

\--  
Paige was standing in her room by the window. Pumbaa watched her from his place on the neatly made bed. She fiddled with the hem of her deep red dress. It was Christmas day, and the Fields were coming to celebrate and exchange gifts. She could hear her parents downstairs and pictured her mother in an obnoxious red, green, and white sweater with black slacks. Nick was a bit better in khakis and a bright red polo.

She snapped alert when Pam’s Toyota 4Runner pulled into the driveway. Walking to her closet, she opened it and pushed some boxes out of the way. Underneath her shoebox laid a wrapped gift. Emily’s gift. She picked it up and took it downstairs. Since it was a family day, the girls had decided not to exchange gifts alone upstairs.

“They’re here!” she screamed at the top of her lungs. Satisfied that everyone within a half-mile radius was notified of the Fields’ arrival (including the Fields themselves), she waited impatiently by the front door, ready to pounce and open the door. She heard a car door slam shut and she paced. A thought struck her and she ran to the pile of gifts under the tree and left Emily’s there. On her way back to her post, Paige spotted her parents sharing a tender moment in the kitchen. Gross.

There was a knock on the door, around her height. Already smiling as she opened the door, she welcomed the Fields in. Snow blanketed the ground; the weatherman was true to his word. The cold followed the Fields in. Brr. Finally, Nick and Liz joined at the door and it was just one big hugfest. Paige dutifully hung up all three coats in the closet. Pam looked festive in her black dress and tacky Christmas cardigan. Wayne wore a similar outfit to Nick, except instead of a red polo, he had a green button-down with the sleeves half rolled up. Paige audibly gasped when she saw Emily. She had on a medium green dress with slightly ruffled sleeves. Her dark brown hair was sleek and long, held back by a red headband. Paige decided in that moment that no one was prettier than her best friend.

“Em! You look so pretty! I love the red,” she reached out to touch the thin headband.

As expected, a very delicate blush spread on Emily’s cheeks. It struck Paige suddenly how much she loved seeing that happen, especially when she caused it. Emily thanked her and they followed the adults into the dining room. The girls took all the gifts and placed them under the tree while Liz and Nick brought the food to the table. 

Though the McCullers’ weren’t religious, they respected the Fields and blessed the food. It was a lively dinner, lots of chatter back and forth, and across other conversations. Both men sat at the ends of the tables while the wives sat adjacent. Paige and Emily were seated directly across from each other. At random intervals, they’d burst out laughing. When the adults weren’t looking, Paige would chew exactly the opposite of how a Queen should: with her mouth open. The third time this happened, Liz caught her and, bolstered by two glasses of champagne, chastised her loudly. The conversations resumed quickly thereafter.

Though they were eating lunch, the meal was more like dinner, as was the drinking and overall celebrating. Nick broke out the (virgin) eggnog and the adults seemed to plateau at a very relaxed, happy state. Paige and Emily couldn’t stop laughing when Pam started snorting when she laughed. Paige brought the dessert – homemade apple pie with vanilla ice cream – out and served them all. Then the stories started.

“This one time,” Liz started laughing during her story. “Nick had called to tell me he’d be home late. Around seven o’clock in the evening, the doorbell rang. I was wearing a robe, with next to nothing underneath, and I opened the door. It was the delivery guy. He whistled and said, ‘Hey sexy lady.’ I was totally appalled and closed the door. He knocked, and I grabbed the pepper spray and opened the door. He threw up his hands when he saw it, and backed up real fast. Well, he slipped and fell down our steps. His hat fell off, and his mustache came off too! Guess who it was...”

Pam was in stiches, Wayne grinning like mad, and Nick had his head in his hands.

“It was Nick! He had dressed up at the delivery guy and tried to be all...” she glanced at the girls, who were luckily busy giggling to themselves, in their own world. “Sexy. It totally backfired on him. I helped him up and gave him ice for his butt. Then, he asked why I would answer the door wearing a robe. He slept on the couch that night!”

Wayne shared a story of when he was trying to ask Pam on a first date. “She kept saying that she couldn’t go on a date with me, her father had a shotgun, and she had to focus on college. Now, we each had apartments off campus. I believed her when she said her father had a gun, but I didn’t know that he lived nearby! I went over one night to ask her out again, when her neighbor yelled at me. He was a short, stocky guy. I thought he was a nosy fu-guy and told him to ah, piss off and mind his own business. But then he pulled a shotgun on me, and I realized it was her father. He lived next door to her! I had to wait until she graduated college – 1 more year – before I could ask her out. Her father remembered me very well, and still doesn’t like me.”

After the round of stories, Paige and Emily had gotten impatient to open the gifts. Rather than interrupt the adults and their obvious fun, the girls took their gifts for each other and went upstairs. Don’t say they didn’t wait.

Paige placed the wrapped gift box in front of her friend. The box was rectangular, the kind clothes are folded in. In fact, this particular box had come from Nordstrom’s, when Liz had bought a new button-up for her work. Emily smiled at the penguins on the wrapping paper.

Not exactly being careful while unwrapping it, she flung the paper on the ground and opened the box. There was tissue paper. Different colors, and a lot of it. She rustled through it before tossing it on the floor too.

“No, wait! Your present’s in there! It’s just kinda small.”

Emily froze, blushing. She leaned down and gingerly collected all the paper before going through it all again. Indeed, there was something! Something small. It was a bracelet. Beaded. The beads were various shades of blue ranging from baby blue to royal navy. Some beads were large and others tiny. Mostly rounded, but some were the bizarre three-pronged type. In the middle of the bracelet were five lettered ones which spelled out _Emily_. The bracelet itself was small, but when Emily went to put it on, the string was actually a stretchy type of cord. It fit perfectly on her wrist; not too tight and not too loose.

“Do you like it?” Paige’s voice was shy. She’d spent a couple hours making sure it was perfect. She’d picked all the beads out and laid them in order.

“Yes! It’s so awesome! Thanks, Paige! Now open yours.”

Emily handed a small jewelry box from Claire’s to Paige. Inside was a necklace with half a broken heart and a little charm that had been added. The heart said “ _Friends_ ” and the charm was a tiny knight with a sword. Paige looked at it curiously, then to Emily, who fumbled with her necklace. She pulled out from her dress and leaned forward to show two charms. One was clearly the other half of the heart with “ _Best_ ,” and the other was a small tiara.

“They’re friendship necklaces! When we put them together,” she took Paige’s and touched it to hers. “They spell ‘ _Best Friends_!’ And the knight is because that’s what you are. You’re my knight in shining armor! I’ve got a crown because I’m the princess.” She stood up and curtsied low.

Paige followed suit but took one of Emily’s hands and held it gently. Bowing, she kissed the hand and muttered, “Thank you so much, m’lady.” Grinning, she picked up the necklace and gestured for Emily to put it on her. It fell a couple inches below her collarbone.

Turning, she wrapped her arms tightly around Emily and whispered in her ear, “Merry Christmas, Em.”

 

\--  
Later that night when Samara was laying in bed with her kinda-sorta-maybe girlfriend, she lifted her head off of the brunette’s shoulder and giggled softly. When Carly asked what was funny, Samara replied, “The little girl I babysit gave me a keychain. There were beads on it that spelled my name. They were organized in a rainbow. I just think it’s really funny, and she doesn’t even know how true it is!”  
\--

 

When Liz and Nick asked Paige what her favorite gift she received was, she looked at their hopeful faces and replied, “The movies and new stuffed animal you guys gave me! And the puzzle Santa brought.” Her fingers touched the necklace Emily gave her, and she knew what her favorite gift _really_ was.

When Emily woke up the next day in her bed, she felt something hard pressing on her wrist. Inspecting it, she moved the bracelet and studied the indents the beads had made on her skin overnight. Moving it back in place, she smiled slightly at the feel of the beads fitting back into place. She didn’t consider taking it off.


	7. Summer between 3rd & 4th grade

It was the hottest summer in Rosewood yet which meant the highs were around eighty-seven degrees. Not exactly the sweltering hundreds that Texas had, but still. Paige and Emily were dressed similarly in jean shorts and a t-shirt; Paige’s had a dolphin and Emily’s was from a week-long sleepaway camp she had just gotten back from. It was early in the morning and they were sitting on the top step of the Fields’ porch waiting for Samara. The blond had gotten the parents’ permission to take the girls to a secret place. No matter how much they wheedled and begged, Pam and Liz refused to reveal the big surprise.

Paige stood and wandered to a clump of clover. She crouched down and started searching for a four-leaf one while Emily bounced her leg, listing off possible places they were going. Samara had only told them to wear a bathing suit under their clothes – “and make sure it’s a one-piece!” At nine years old, it was a little ridiculous for them to even own bikinis, but they did. Of course, Alison DiLaurentis had been wearing them since she first started wearing bathing suits; she’d never worn a one-piece and nearly fainted when Paige offered to give her one ¬of hers.

“Maybe the beach! We aren’t exactly close to one. The closest one is so far away. Oh-! Maybe we’re going to a water park! That would be so fun!”

Paige hummed, glancing at Emily briefly, who had since stood up and was leaning over the railing. “It’s so hard to find a four-leaf clover, Paige. I can never find one. You’re like, a pro at it.”

Paige smirked discreetly. She prided herself on her skill at four-leaf clover picking, though she would never rub it in Emily’s face. “That’s ‘cause you’re too impatient to look!”

“I get bored, sue me.”

That was new. Emily must’ve picked that up from her mother since Pam worked with the police department. Or maybe Liz, being a lawyer and all that. Her fingers combed the clover petals and froze moments later when she spotted a lucky one. “Gotcha!” she muttered under her breath. She held it gingerly in her hand behind her back, grateful when Samara showed up shortly after.

The girls tackled her in a big hug; she’d gotten back from her second year of college a few weeks ago and they hadn’t seen her really since. Well, there was the small birthday party for Samara’s twentieth, but that was back in May. It was June now and really, a month seemed like ages to Paige and Emily.

“Hey guys! Hop in the car; we’ve got kind of a long drive ahead of us.”

Emily claimed the middle seat in the back, leaving Paige one of the sides. Before getting into the car though, Paige opened the passenger door and rummaged in the glove box. She found what she was looking for – a small cardboard box that previously held a necklace – and placed the four-leaf clover in it. There was a handful of others inside, most of them wilted and shriveled. She returned the box back in the glove compartment and joined Emily in the back, who turned to smile at Paige.

When Emily had seen her friend go for the box, she’d turned her head away. The first time Paige opened it, she’d admonished Emily for watching her – “It’s a secret! You can’t ever look, okay?” That was several months ago, and if Emily was with Paige, she always looked away. She might’ve accidently gotten a peek the third time, but she respected her friend and obeyed the request.

“So, do you guys have any ideas where I’m taking you?”

Paige watched Emily rattle off her thoughts, momentarily entranced by her beauty. Okay, sure they were only nine, but still, Emily had a natural beauty that just begged to be admired. Her eyelashes were long and thick, much like her hair. Her smile was the most stunning part, in Paige’s opinion. It had been absent for a couple weeks during the beginning of summer; Wayne had finally received the official letter of transfer overseas. He left a few days after. Thankfully, he wouldn’t be on the frontlines in Afghanistan. He would be in charge of a primary base camp though. “Very important stuff,” he’d explained. The best news was that he’d be able to come home for Christmas and a few weeks in the summer every year. It was unknown how long he’d be on duty, but honestly, Paige was just glad the family wasn’t uprooting and moving – Emily had told her that happened when she was a baby. 

This was the first time he had been assigned overseas since Emily was born and she had a very hard time coping with it. She rarely left Pam’s side. Paige had learned a lot during those weeks. For example, it was best just to hold Emily when she cried and hum random tunes, rather than try and reassure her. Also, she was afraid to be left alone and became very clingy. Having a Disney movie on helped her fall asleep, especially “The Aristocats.” The most important thing Paige learned was that even after several days of crying, Emily was still the prettiest girl ever. 

She was brought out of her musings when prompted to give her ideas. “Definitely the zoo. And we’re going to swim with the dolphins and seals.” She might’ve slipped in some sass, but hey, she was in a fabulous mood.

Samara wasn’t kidding when she said the drive would be long. It took them two hours to reach their destination. They passed the time by playing ISPY, 20 questions, the alphabet game, and singing along with Samara’s iPod. They also stopped at Chick-Fil-A for lunch. Emily was belting out the second verse to “Barbie Girl” when Paige shook her roughly and pointed out the window. “Penn State Unvursety,” she read off the large sign they passed. “Is that your college, Samara?”

“University. And no, I go to UPenn. But I have some really good friends who go here. We’re not going on the campus though.”

A few minutes later, they were stepping out of the car and onto the pavement of a parking lot. Paige looked around at the large, fancy building in front of them, the golf course on the left, and the tennis courts on the right. “Where are we?” Emily voiced Paige’s thoughts exactly.

Samara led them up the stairs and into the building. “This is the University Park Country Club.” She pulled her phone out and typed out a text.

She waved at the receptionist who simply nodded, looking hawkishly at the two girls. Emily shuffled closer to Paige, “She’s scary. Like the old witch from Hansel and Gretel!”

They left the lobby and went through a pair of double doors leading outside. Immediately, the sounds of splash and whistles greeted them. Paige and Emily looked at each other excitedly. Samara took their hands and walked down the ramp and towards the entrance of the pool area. A nerdy college guy with braces and terrible acne was manning the post and held up his hand. “Sorry, no open shows for a few weeks. It’s a closed practice right now.”

“Oh, that’s okay. I’m here to see Nikki Reynolds. I’m her… best friend.”

His nametag said “John.” John shook his head apologetically, “You can’t go in. They’re really strict about that stuff. Come back when it’s open showing.”

Paige looked between the pair apprehensively. Samara seemed pretty confident they could be there, but this John dude was totally hashing their vibe. Or something like that. Charlie the surfer from Disney Channel had said that once.

“Look, I didn’t drive two hours to get here just to get swim-blocked by a thirteen year old boy who just started going through puberty,” she muttered viciously, quietly for just the two of them. “Let me through, _please_. I swear that I’m allowed in.”

Paige took a step back and took Emily with her. John’s face had a disturbingly red hue to it and he had stood up behind the desk. He was short for a guy, matching Samara’s height and she was moderately tall for a girl. He picked up a phone and punched a few digits, all while maintaining a death glare at Samara. “Hello, Jerry? There’s a lady here that’s trying to get into the closed practice. She’s got two kids. Can you please escort them off the premise?”

As soon as he hung up the phone, an attractive redhead walked over, dressed in grey joggers and a crop top. She had a bathing suit on underneath. “Samara!”

Paige was immediately fascinated by her, not only because of her hair, but also her accent: it was British! She watched Samara and the girl embrace tightly. They leaned towards each other, talking very quietly before stepping apart. “Paige, Emily. This is Nikki Reynolds, my best friend. She’s on the Penn State varsity swimming team. It’s basically the best you can get, not including the Olympics.”

The two girls looked at Nikki with wide eyes.

Nikki laughed easily and shoved Samara. “She’s totally exaggerating about the Olympics part. I am on the team though. And she’s told me a lot about you two. You guys swim for your local team, right?” She leaned down and smiled. “She said you’re pretty good, too. Is that true?”

Paige was tickled to see Emily blushing and nodded proudly, “Yes, we’re both on the Junior Rosewood Sharks club team and Emily’s awesome!”

Nikki grinned, “Well! That settles it then. You’ll just have to come watch my team practice! We’re almost done, but how about you both show me and a special friend of mine what you know so far!” She beckoned them forward and smiled sweetly at John. “They’re with me, kay?”

Paige covered her giggles as they walked past. John was beet red, but slumped in his chair staring dreamily at Nikki. Samara snapped her fingers in front of his face and smirked when he jumped. “I told you so,” she crowed.

The group entered the pool area and paused to take everything in, but it was difficult. Paige didn’t know where to look. There were women swimming laps, talking and laughing in groups at tables, doing push-ups and sit-ups on yoga mats, and looking at workout ideas. Whistles were blown intermittently and swimmers dove into the pool constantly.

“Nik, if this is you guys almost done, then I definitely wanna see you when you’re in the middle of practice!” Samara nudged the redhead.

“Babe, I don’t think you could handle all this,” she replied cheekily, flexing her biceps which were rather impressive. 

Paige sat next to Emily on the bleachers and watched the women in the water. “They’re really good, yeah?”

Emily stared as one swimmer executed a perfect flip-turn off the wall. “Good? They’re amazing! I wanna be as great as them!”

Paige looked at her friend and murmured, “Ems, I know that you will be. I know that you’re going to be better than them.”

Emily turned and quirked her lips. Suddenly, she gasped and clutched Paige’s forearm. “Oh my god. Paige. Look who it is!” Paige whirled around and saw a tan woman in a bathing suit talking with Nikki and Samara. She had wild, honey-blond curls and a wicked smile. “That’s Rachel Thompson! _The_ star swimmer for the Lions. She has the fastest time for the 100 yard butterfly of all the top swimming schools.”

Paige vaguely remembered Emily talking about her once before – with the same amount of enthusiasm. She looked at Rachel with more scrutiny. The woman was of average height with some curves, and extremely toned. The only thing that set her apart from the other swimmers physically was a scar at the base of her neck that curved up along her right shoulder. “Before she went to college, in high school, she got into a really bad car accident. She couldn’t swim for almost two years. She got help with the doctor and could swim again. She went to a different college and got on their varsity team.”

Paige was extremely impressed and looked at the woman with more respect and admiration than before. What a role model! She sat up straight when the three women walked over to them.

“Emily, Paige. This is Rachel Thompson. She’s our captain and kind of a hotshot.” Nikki playfully shoved her teammate. “Our practice is pretty much over so if you two wanna show us your stuff, you can. Samara told me you’ve got your suits on.”

Emily had turned into a blushing, shy mess so Paige spoke for her. “Yes! That’d be awesome. Em’s the best at butterfly, but she won’t tell you that! I’m better at breaststroke.” She promptly began shedding her clothes, revealing her favorite green bathing suit. She nudged Emily into motion and put her hair up into a bun. Nikki stepped forward and offered them both Penn State swim caps and goggles. Most of the adult swimmers had changed and were leaving to head home. Paige was relieved; she wasn’t shy like Emily, but she did feel the weight of pressure lift. It was just the five of them gathered around the pool with a few women lounging off to the side, talking.

Paige curled her feet over the edge of the pool and beckoned for Emily who had just finished stepping out of her shorts and was in the process of putting on the cap and goggles. When both girls were at the starting block, Rachel came over. “So I’m going to time Emily, and Nik will time Paige. We’re just gonna watch you and see what you’ve got! Down and back. No pressure or anything. Just swim like you guys normally would at a meet. Okay?”

Paige nodded and took up her ready position. She heard Emily beside her take a deep breath in and release it. Gone was the shy girl just moments ago and in its place was a talented and confident swimmer. Paige smirked and shifted in place. When the whistle blew, both girls dove into the pool. Paige began swimming breaststroke and Emily transitioned gracefully and easily into the butterfly. 

Because the butterfly was considerably faster than the breaststroke, Emily finished her two laps (flip turn and all) in time to rip her goggles off and watch her friend finish hers. Paige’s head and shoulders would break the surface first followed by two pale hands, before ducking quickly back underwater. The motion was swift, fluid, and precise. She had really improved both her stroke motion and time. She repeated it three more times before she slapped the wall. Exhilarated just from two laps, she glanced wildly at Emily then to the two women. “How did we do?”

Nikki let out a low whistle and knelt down and held the stopwatch out for them to look at. “A minute fifty-six, Paige! That is an extremely impressive time for a girl your age. You’re a hell of a swimmer.” The girl grinned at the praise, though she did gasp quietly at the curse word and shot Samara a concerned look. The blond caught it and cleared her throat, sending Nikki a look of her own. The red-head shrugged it off, quirking her lips.

“How’d Ems do?”

Rachel approached them and read the time, “A minute forty-seven. You girls must be on something, because those are amazing times! You know, if you were in college, I’d definitely want you both on my team!”

The girls high-fived each other and pulled themselves out of the water. Taking the offered towels from Samara, they sat down on the pool chairs. Nikki and Rachel started giving Paige and Emily respectively, some tips on their form, diet, and general swimming things.

When Paige glanced over her shoulder at the varsity star, she noticed how Emily was hanging onto her every word. A gentle nudge brought her back to Nikki. “You know, what you and Emily have is really special. Don’t ever forget that or take it for granted, okay?” Paige ducked her head and felt a blush creeping up. She definitely knew how special Emily was and their friendship was the most important thing to her. “You’re young, but I think you’ve got some great potential. You’re extremely driven and hard-working. Keep doing what you’re doing and you are so gonna go places, kid.”  
Pep talk over, they stood and Paige wrapped her arms around Nikki’s middle. “Thanks a lot,” she murmured.

She and Emily put their clothes back on; the shirts almost immediately gained wet spots in random places. They thanked Nikki and Rachel for their time and advice before turning to head back to the car. Emily challenged Paige to a race and they were off. Samara hung back briefly to ask Nikki when she would come visit UPenn. They hugged, exchanged a few brief kisses, and then the blond left to find the girls. No doubt they would give her an earful for taking her sweet time. Waiting three minutes probably felt like years to nine year olds. She laughed to herself and walked through the double doors, keys already out. Time to face the music.

 

\--  
The drive back to Rosewood was quiet. When Samara asked the girls if they wanted to stop by Cracker Barrel and have some dinner, she was immediately shushed. Raising an eyebrow, she glanced back.

Emily had spread out over two seats and was asleep on her side, head resting on Paige’s lap. Paige made sure Samara understood before continuing to run her pale fingers through dark chocolate hair. She smiled fondly down at her best friend before returning her gaze out the window. It seemed like the world outside the car was moving so fast, but everything inside was normal speed. She felt irrationally worried that time was running out. Brows furrowed, Paige sighed quietly and rested her head against the window. She closed her eyes and willed time to slow down. She wanted this moment and feeling to last forever. Emily’s silky soft hair, Samara’s safe and comforting presence, the elation from meeting and swimming with two top college athletes, the overwhelming happiness she felt just by riding in car, and the calming sensations Samara’s music created. A few more deep breaths later, she was asleep, a half-smile on her lips.

 

\--  
“Hey guys, watch this!” Caleb bent his knees and successfully performed an Ollie on his skateboard. The girls clapped and hooted. Even though he had protective gear on his elbows and knees, and a helmet, the boy still managed to scrape his hands on the cement while practicing the most fundamental trick. It was the last week before school started – fourth grade for all of them – and they were spending it outside of Caleb’s house. He and Emily were on skateboards, Paige was using his bike with pegs (“BMX,” he’d said), and Hanna was pretending to ride a scooter.

Paige ditched the bike and opted to chase Hanna, prompting the blond to actually play with them. She paused to brush her bangs out of the way; she started growing them out last year and they were almost long enough to tuck behind her ears. Hanna called out to Caleb to help her, but he just laughed and shook his head. He reflexively brought his hand up to run through his hair, but he’d gotten the mop chopped off and looked much cleaner with the shorter hair. Hanna continued to plead with him and gave him a sad look. Paige figured the blond’s puppy eyes made Caleb cave because he heaved a sigh and immediately began chasing after her. Paige squealed when she saw him coming and bolted away, calling for reinforcements.

“Ems! I need some backup here!”

Emily looked around the street and spotted the bike. She struggled to lower the seat; Paige had grown a couple inches during the summer, increasing the height difference between the two of them. Satisfied, Emily rode it over to Paige who was busy trying to evade Caleb. “Hop on!”

Paige grinned, very proud of her friend’s idea and planted her hands on Emily’s shoulders and stood on the pegs. Her extra weight threw Emily off slightly and there was a delay in escaping. It was only a few seconds, but it was enough for Caleb to poke Paige in the ribs. “You’re it!”

Paige was appalled that she’d actually been “caught” and that the game had unknowingly changed from keep away to tag. Scowling, she jumped off the bike and beckoned for Emily. “Come on, we gotta get them!”

The four of them moved the game to Caleb’s backyard, perfect for running around and playing tag. They switched teams every few tags. First Caleb and Hanna were it, then just Caleb, then all the girls, then Paige and Emily, then Emily and Hanna, then Caleb and Paige. Somehow, they managed to entertain themselves for an hour straight just by playing tag. When Mrs. Rivers called them in for lemonade and tiny ham sandwiches, Paige collapsed in the kitchen chair. She and Caleb had been proclaimed honorary champion taggers of tag. Emily and Hanna were simply no match for the devious duo. 

To complete the perfect summer day, all four kids migrated to the living room and took up positions on the couch, love seat, and floor. Caleb turned the TV on and they rested while watching SpongeBob Squarepants. Paige sat cross-legged on the floor, her back between Emily’s legs, who was sitting in the loveseat. Emily was running her hands through Paige’s auburn hair, entranced by its softness despite them having spent the day outside and sweating. It fell to her shoulder blades, just enough for a decent length braid. Emily set to work on her best friend’s hair. When she leaned slightly to the side, she saw that Paige had closed her eyes. That made her smile.

Paige opened her eyes when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She ran a hand over the braid, impressed by its quality. Then again, Emily was never one to skimp on details. Hanna stole the remote from Caleb and switched to Disney Channel. “Wizards of Waverly Place” was on, which the blond was obviously happy about given her high-pitched squeal. Caleb half-heartedly tried to regain control of the remote, but Hanna stopped him with a sharp look. Whoa.

Three episodes later, the doorbell rang and seconds later, Mrs. Rivers called, “Paige, your mom’s here for you and Emily!”

Both girls wriggled their way out of the loveseat, hugged Hanna and high-fived Caleb before walking to the front door. Paige hugged Mrs. Rivers and thanked her. Emily, not as familiar with the woman, mumbled “Thanks,” and retreated out the door. Liz drove them back to the McCullers’ house; Emily would be sleeping over as usual. There was rarely a day that went by when Paige and Emily weren’t together. And Paige was completely okay with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N** : I did a little research on average swim times for the girls’ ages, but I have no idea if the times I used are actually realistic so pardon any outrageous Olympic times. Also, because I’m a very visual person, I based two of the original characters in here on real-life actresses. For Nikki, picture Bonnie Wright. For Rachel, picture Margarita Levieva. And that’s only physically. I didn’t know of any good red-head actresses and Bonnie is one of my favorites, so that’s why I chose her, if any of you were wondering. Also tried to show Paige’s inner thoughts more. This will increase as she gets older because, well because that’s what happens when you grow; you think more, and more deeply at that! Hope you all enjoy.


	8. Middle of 4th grade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer #2** : Putting this just in case. I don’t own iCarly or anything else mentioned throughout this story that belongs to someone else. Just the story plot and original characters.

She felt like crap. She’d heard her mom say that one time when Liz had pulled out a burnt loaf of banana bread that was supposed to be a welcome gift for some new neighbors down the road. Nick had yelled from the living room, “Language!” Paige figured that it was a bad word and she’d probably get sent to her room if she said it. But she secretly thought it.

This was her second time waking up today. Several hours ago, her penguin alarm had went off and Paige woke up shivering under the covers and her nose stuffed. When she didn’t turn off the alarm, Liz had come in to see what was wrong. “A fever, honey,” she’d deduced after placing a hand on her daughter’s forehead. “You’re shivering, but your body’s burning up. And you’ve got the sniffles. You’re going to stay home today. I’ll get some medicine for you, and then you can go back to sleep. I’ll call work and stay with you.” 

After taking the disgusting fever and cold medicine, Paige rolled over and passed out. Now, despite getting three more hours of sleep, she still felt run-down. Her eyes were half-lidded and she was an honorary mouth-breather. Clutching Pumbaa, Paige threw back the covers and stumbled out of bed. She walked to her dresser and blew her nose once, twice, three times. It helped a little, but there was still some gunk that just wouldn’t come out. She hated colds. Despised them. Abhorred them. She’d learnt that last word in class; her fourth grade teacher Mrs. Kasnik loved that word for some reason. Paige was rarely sick; this might be her second time. But she still hated colds.

Miserable, she went downstairs and found Liz in the office, no doubt doing what she could to make up for missing work. “Mom,” Paige sniffled. “I’m freezing.”

Liz looked up and pressed a hand to Paige’s forehead. “I’m pretty sure you’ve still got a fever, but let me take your temperature this time. Want me to make you some chicken noodle soup?”

Paige nodded and collapsed on the living room couch, pulling the throw up to her chin. Remote in hand, she turned the TV on and flipped through the channels until she landed on “iCarly.” Five minutes later, two things happened. She suddenly felt very hot and needed the blanket off, _now_ , and Liz walked in with a bowl of soup. Thrashing until it was crumpled on the ground beside her, Paige didn’t even bother to act guilty when her mother fixed her with a stern look. Liz set the bowl on the coffee table and made a show of picking up the blanket and folding it over the couch.

It wasn’t until a school scene showed on the TV that Paige remembered, “Mom! I’m skipping school right now!”

“Yes you are, honey. Because you have a fever and when you have a fever, you aren’t supposed to go in. You might get the other kids sick.”

That made sense. Sipping on her soup, she frowned at the thought of Emily at school, alone and probably wondering where she was. Not for the first time did Paige wish she had a cell phone or walkie-talkie or something so they could talk long distance. Okay, so maybe a phone was unrealistic since they were only in fourth grade. But still, she could dream.

Done with the soup, she pushed the bowl aside and went on the hunt for some tissues because all that steam? Loosened the stuff in her nose like a frozen waterfall melted by a volcano… Or something like that. Emily would have laughed; she always thought Paige was funny and told the best jokes. Paige knew Emily’s favorite was, _What did the boy scouts say about the camping trip? That it was intense_. She smiled fondly at the memory, but the gross feeling of snot making its way out of her nose reminded her: tissues.

She found a box in the kitchen and blew away. Five tissues later, she felt much better. 

“Paige, come let me take your temperature. And you need to take more cold medicine.”

Paige grumbled under her breath and dragged her feet back to the living room where Liz had spread out an array of first-aid. “I’m not dying, mom. No need to break out the surgery kit,” she quipped before she sneezed and coughed at the same time. _Ew_.

The woman raised an eyebrow at her daughter. “I’m going to blame your father for even introducing sarcasm to you in the first place, young lady.”

Paige smiled, “It was actually Emily.”

“You girls are something, I’ll tell you that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Liz shook her head and beckoned for her to come closer, “Nothing. Let me take your temperature now.”

Paige shuffled over and scrunched her nose when she felt the ear thermometer hit the inside of her ear. “Why don’t you use the tongue one?”

“Why are you all complain-y all of a sudden? These kind are much more accurate.” The thermometer beeped. “101.3. Definitely a fever.”

“How do you know?”

“Anything under or over 98.6 is considered a fever.”

“So, 98.5 is a fever?”

“Paige…”

The girl in question mustered up her best innocent face and dutifully took the 1.5 teaspoons of Children’s Motrin. Orange, not bad. Laying back on the sofa, she covered herself with the blanket and suddenly sleepy, murmured, “Gonna take a nap now, ‘kay?”

Liz ran her fingers through Paige’s auburn locks gently and nodded.

 

\--  
When Paige woke up, the numbers on the cable box read 2:17pm. She absent mindedly noted that school would be letting out in 23 minutes. iCarly had been replaced with Victorious which was muted. Stretching, she tried to breathe deeply, but her nose was still stuffed so instead, she ended up with a lot of mucus down the back of her throat. _Gross_. Sitting up and grabbing a tissue from a box conveniently placed on the coffee table – thanks, Mom – she spit into the Kleenex. She groaned and then threw the blanket off of her. Her t-shirt and shorts were sticking to her; she was that sweaty.

“Mom?” her voice was rough and raspy.

Liz answered from the office, “How are you feeling, honey?”

“Really hot.”

“That means your fever broke. Drink some water and get a snack if you’re hungry. Something healthy”

So much for being waited on. Paige wandered into the kitchen and found an unopened water bottle in the fridge. She opened it, drank half, and pressed the bottle to her forehead. She was feeling marginally better, other than the sudden heat flash and stuffy nose. Opening the pantry, she scanned every possible food option before grabbing a bag of tortilla chips and some salsa. Being sick clearly impaired her judgment of “healthy.” But there were tomatoes in salsa, right? And the chips were whole grain! Taking her snack and water upstairs, she settled on her bed, on top of the comforter.

There was no television in her room so she didn’t have anything to do while munching on the chips. Glancing at her ceiling, she remembered something and got up to turn off the lights in her room. She pulled the window curtains closed and the room was almost pitch black, except for the sliver of light coming from under her door. Jumping onto the bed, she rolled until she was on her back and linked her hands behind her head.

About a month ago – when she started fourth grade – she and Emily were laying on her bed in the exact same position. They had just come back from school and were talking about the guest speaker who came in. Dr. Noorse was a “scientist who studied the stars.” He showed the class pictures of different nebulas, the Milky Way, the planets, and moons. When the girls got home and were trying to take a nap, Emily lifted a finger to the ceiling and stated, “See that, Paige? That’s the big dipper.” Paige of course, decided to put the galaxies on her ceiling and they went and bought glow in the dark stars.

She smiled at the memory and remembering how many times Emily’s been over since then just to lay in the dark and point at fake stars. Paige gazed at each star. They had gotten two packs – 20 various sized stars and a moon in each – so there were a lot of stars. For the ones over her bed, the two girls had jumped up and tried to press them on. But her bed was very low on the ground and they weren’t tall enough to reach the ceiling. Nick had been called in to assist. They spent an hour ordering him where exactly to put each star and moon. He climbed up and down the ladder more times than he could count.

Paige looked in the corner where there was a cluster of stars. It had been Emily’s idea, “Six stars in the corner for both of us, and our parents!” Paige liked to call it the McFields Nebula. Most of the other stars were better spread out. It wasn’t perfect – “Because the real stars aren’t perfect either!” – but that was okay. There were two stars side-by-side above the bed that were touching only by the “arms.” Paige had told Nick to place them like that. When Emily had asked why, she simply replied, “They’re us.”

The ceiling was one of Paige’s most prized possessions. Only because of the stars and only because of the memories the stars brought. Each one had a story that she held dear to her. There was one little star that Paige knew could fall at any time. Emily had claimed it as her own and insisted on putting it up herself. However, she hadn’t climbed the ladder or jumped on the bed. Instead, she tried several times just throwing it up and hoping it would stick. It took thirteen tries, but all three of them cheered when it stayed. After Emily had left that day, Nick had offered to press down on Emily’s star, but Paige shook her head.

She was brought out of her thoughts when her door opened and made the stars disappear. Rolling over, she found Emily standing in the doorway.

“Paige! I was so worried when you didn’t come to school today. I was so lonely and missed you so much.” The tan girl practically teleported across the room and into her friend’s arms.

“That’s a lot of so’s, Em,” she smirked, but tightened her hold on Emily. “Sorry, I was sick. Am sick. Wait, you could get what I have!” She took back her arms, but Emily chased after her and Paige found herself in another hug.

“I don’t care, Paige. If I get sick, then you can come visit me. I just wanna be here with you now, kay?”

Paige nodded mutely, happy butterflies fluttering inside her. “Em? Are you magic? Because I feel so much better now that you’re here!”

Emily giggled and finally let go. She closed the bedroom door and joined Paige on the bed. “Were you looking at our stars again?”

“Of course. I always do.”

“I thought about getting some for my room, but they wouldn’t be the same.”

“I could come over and we could put them up together.”

Paige felt Emily shake her head. “It’s okay. It just means I have to come over to see them, which means I get to see you!”

They fell silent and didn’t speak for a while. Paige would glance to her left occasionally and watch Emily. Emily looked once over at Paige.

Finally, Emily broke the silence. “I brought your homework over.”

Paige wrinkled her nose. “Gross, but thanks.”

Emily rolled on to her side so she was facing Paige. “Tell me a story.”

“There were two girls. They were the bestest of best friends…”

\--

When Liz knocked on Paige’s door and received no answer, she slowly opened it. She had to let her eyes adjust to the dark, but the light from the hall shone on the two girls. They were asleep. Emily’s head was resting on Paige’s chest and Paige had an arm wrapped around Emily. Liz slipped her phone out of her pocket and snapped a picture. She sent it to Pam.

When Pam was leaving work to pick up Emily, she opened her phone and looked at the picture Liz sent her. She frowned at first, but upon seeing her daughter smiling even in sleep, she smiled reluctantly.

When Emily woke up a few days later with a fever, she spent the day watching the clock. She only stopped when she heard a knock on her bedroom door and smiled.


	9. Last week of 4th grade & summer

“Ow, Paige. Let go; you’re hurting me.”

Paige tore her eyes away from the crack between the curtains and looked down. Her nails were digging into Emily’s arm; she immediately released her hold. “Sorry, Em. I’m just so nervous!”

It was the last week of school and the class was performing an adapted play for the parents. It was based on the book _A Bad Case of Stripes_ by David Shannon. Paige adored the book and was thrilled when Mrs. Kasnik announced a few months ago that they would be doing a mini-play on the book. Assigning the parts had been a nightmare. Many of the girls wanted to play Camilla of course, especially Alison. For the sake of authenticity, Mrs. Kasnik held auditions for the parts – Camilla, her parents, the doctors, the principle, the scientists, the old woman and a couple narrators.

Despite Paige’s tendency for dramatics, she was in no way talented in the drama department. Pretending to be someone else (unless it was on her terms) was very difficult for her. She struggled to get into the mindset of the character. Nick said that because she was so genuine, she had a hard time pretending to be genuine about something when she really wasn’t. Mrs. Kasnik probably recognized that because she’d assigned Paige as a narrator along with Toby Cavanaugh. He was a quiet, introverted boy who kept to himself.

Emily fiddled with the mustard colored wool shawl draped over her shoulders. “Don’t be; you’re gonna do awesome!” she replied. She was an old woman and had a large portion of dialogue towards the end. She and Paige had spent several hours practicing their lines; Emily had to memorize hers, but Paige was allowed to have notecards since the narration continued throughout the play.

Paige reached out a hand and tucked some stray hairs back into place on Emily’s head. Because Emily was playing an old woman, Mrs. Kasnik had suggested putting some temporary silver hair spray on Emily’s hair. Pam Fields had mulled the idea over for a few days before signing the permission slip. “As long as it’s not permanent,” she’d muttered. Paige thought it really helped with the image; she’d even offered up her fake Harry Potter glasses. As a narrator, Paige was dressed in all black – black slacks and a black t-shirt.

Paige snuck another glance through the crack and gulped when she saw her parents among the audience. For the play, Mrs. Kasnik had reserved the multi-purpose room for practices and the “Big Show.” The room was large, able to hold 150 people easily. There was an elevated flooring structure that acted both as the boundary between actor and audience, and a stage for the kids. A thick, navy curtain blocked the backstage from the audience as well. There were a few setting props placed on the stage, and a few that the actors would use. In short, it was perfect for a fourth-grade play.

“And now, please sit back, relax, and enjoy the show!” Mrs. Kasnik announced.

That was Paige and Toby’s cue. Together, they parted the curtain and stood off to the side of the stage.

Toby started, keeping his eyes trained on the cards in his hands. “Camilla Cream loved lima beans. But she never ate them…”

Paige stood very still and watched as Hanna came onto the stage as Toby spoke. When it was her turn, she read a few words, then looked up, still talking. While she hadn’t been expected to memorize her lines since she spoke throughout the play, she had ended up memorizing a large portion of her lines. “Today she was fretting even more than usual. It was the very first day of school, and she couldn’t decide what to wear. There were so many people to impress!” She forced some urgency in her voice at the end. “She tried on forty-two outfits, but none seemed quite right. She put on a pretty red dress and looked in the mirror. Then she screamed.”

Hanna, who had been acting out what Paige had spoken, dutifully screamed. It was that scream that earned her the part of Camilla. Naturally, Alison had wanted the main part, but Mrs. Kasnik was smarter than she looked and assigned Alison as Camilla’s mother. Paige watched as Alison stomped onto the stage also let out an ear-piercing scream. Toby stumbled over his words when she did, and Paige struggled not to smirk. Three years later, and Alison was still causing havoc for her classmates.

“Oh my heavens! You’re completely covered in stripes!” Alison exclaimed, slapping both hands to her cheeks.

Hanna’s face was covered in face paint; stripes painted according to the rainbow. There was thick, satin ribbon wrapped around the visible parts of her arms and legs. Mrs. Kasnik had been able to find ribbon that faded intermittently between the colors of the rainbow.

There was some dialogue between Hanna and Alison, during which Paige narrated only a couple words in between: “She asked,” or “Camilla answered.” When Toby finished his lines, there was a scene break. The lights in the room dimmed and Hanna laid on the makeshift bed on the stage – a cot with a sleeping bag, pillow, and blankets. The lights came back on and Noel Kahn entered, wearing a white lab coat and a fake stethoscope around his neck.

“That afternoon, Dr. Bumble came to examine Camilla,” Paige recited.

“Most extraordinary! I’ve never seen anything like it! Are you having any coughing, sneezing, runny nose, aches, pains, chills, hot flashes, dizziness, drowsiness, shortness of breath, or uncontrollable twitching?” Noel rushed out, seemingly all in one breath. He inhaled deeply after, causing a few parents to chuckle quietly.

Toby handled the little bits between the dialogue and Noel fumbled in his coat pocket and handed a tube of decorated toothpaste labeled “OINTMENT” to Hanna. There was another scene change. This time, Mrs. Kasnik stood behind a mobile chalkboard and several students came on stage, standing next to each other and in front, much like they were seated in the classroom. 

“The next day was a disaster. Everyone at school laughed at Camilla. They called her ‘Camilla Crayon’ and ‘Night of the Living Lollipop.’ She tried her best to act as if everything were normal, but when the class said the Pledge of Allegiance, her stripes turned red, white, and blue, and she broke out into stars!” Paige read. Some students spoke their one line and Toby narrated, before there was a scene change. Alison came out on stage and sat in a fold up chair with Caleb Rivers on stage, who was playing the father. Sean Ackard, the principle, sat in a desk off to the side of the stage and held up a large telephone.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Cream, I’m going to have to ask you to keep Camilla home from school. She’s just too much of a distraction, and I’ve been getting phone calls from the other parents. They’re afraid those stripes may be contagious.”

Paige and Toby both took turns narrating the non-dialogue parts.

Noel came back onto the stage as Sean left, and sat at the desk. “Hmm, well, yes, I see. I think I’d better bring in the Specialists. We’ll be right over.”

The lights dimmed as five students in long white lab coats shuffled onto the stage. Noel stood slightly ahead of the other four doctors while Hanna, Alison, and Caleb were seated in foldup chairs around a small table. Hanna stood up and moved to the center of the stage. The four doctors – Grop, Sponge, Cricket, Young – began poking and prodding and inspecting Hanna. Spencer Hastings pressed a stethoscope to Hanna’s arm. Aria Montgomery used a magnifying glass to look at her hair. Mona shone a flashlight on Hanna’s legs, and Lucas Gottesman used a reflex hammer on her shoulder. Paige handled the narrative as each doctor ruled out a diagnosis.

As Toby read, “They each handed her a bottle filled with different colored pills,” the students each pulled an orange prescription bottle from their coat pocket and handed them to Hanna. The doctors then filed out of a fake door that opened, but led nowhere. Hanna took a pill from each bottle – they were MnM’s and Paige wished she could have some.

There was another scene change; a bit longer since Hanna had to change her outfit. 

The blond re-entered the stage and there were several chuckles among the parents. Paige knew exactly why, and she proceeded to narrate the reason. “When she woke up the next morning, she did feel different, but when she got dressed, her clothes didn’t fit right. She looked in the mirror, and there, staring back at her, was a giant, multi-colored pill with her face on it.”

Mrs. Kasnik was rather crafty and had been able to create the cylinder part of a pill capsule, leaving Hanna’s head and feet free to move around. Her head remained normal, but the cardboard that was crafted to hang around her body was a spectrum of colors organized in a rainbow – in order from red to violet. Her slippered feet peeked out from the bottom of the cylinder.

Noel made another appearance along with two other doctors. Again, they examined Hanna thoroughly and rather ridiculously. They made several, different proclamations, none of which helped. Paige honestly tuned out most of the things that happened on stage. It was much of the same; reporters had found out about Hanna’s condition, so people were offering crazy cures. Toby handled most of the narration. Paige might’ve insisted strongly on narrating the end, when Emily was on stage.

Speaking of which – Emily, dressed in her costume, entered the stage and approached Hanna and Alison. “Excuse me,” Emily chirped. “But I think I can help.”

Paige read her lines clearly and perfectly; there was no way she’d mess up and thus mess up Emily’s part. She smiled when Emily pulled a jar of green beans from her bag. When they’d been practicing this scene at Emily’s house, Pam had brought them a jar of pickles (they hadn’t had any green beans). Emily despised both pickles and green beans, and had very reluctantly used the jar to practice. Even now, Paige could see that Emily was barely containing a disgusted frown.

The scene continued and Emily offered the beans to Hanna, stating, “These are just plain old lima beans. I’ll bet you’d like some, wouldn’t you?”

It was lucky that Hanna actually did like them, because a few minutes later, she ate some and the lights flickered on and off for a minute while Hanna struggled out of the pill costume and became her normal self. Toby read the last line, “She ate all the lima beans she wanted, and she never had even a touch of the stripes again.”

The lights went out, signaling the end of the scene and play. Paige stood in the dark as the parents clapped loudly. A couple even whistled and hollered. She was pretty sure her father was one of them. The lights came back on and Mrs. Kasnik moved to the center, clasping her hands together. “Thank you all so much for coming to see our rendition of _A Bad Case of Stripes_ , by David Shannon. After the students come out for an encore, there will be time for pictures. And now, please give a big hand for our fourth-grade students!”

Every classmate of Paige’s came back on stage. It was long enough that all fifteen students could stand beside each other in line and bow. Emily found Paige and took her hand. Paige’s heart was beating rapidly, though she didn’t know if it was because of Emily’s hand warming her cold one, or from all the parents standing and clapping. 

 

\--  
Paige let the sand fall between her fingers as she watched Wayne lift Emily into the air and toss her into the water. He was home for a couple weeks of the summer and there had been an obvious, positive change in Emily’s demeanor. Understandably, Emily had spent most of her time with her father, whereas normally, she’d be hanging out with Paige. Though it had prompted a small twinge of jealousy in her, Paige was sincerely happy that Wayne was able to visit. Emily hadn’t taken his leave well; she’d always been a daddy’s girl. While she loved her parents, she wasn’t sure if she was a daddy’s girl or a mommy’s angel. Sometimes when she and Emily were laying on her bed looking at the stars, she felt like Emily’s. What exactly, she wasn’t sure, but it felt right.

Pam and Liz’s laughs filled the air and Paige turned as her father came and sat down. “You want me to do that with you?” he gestured to the pair in the water.

She shook her head vigorously, “You know I’m afraid of heights.”

“I don’t know how you love swing-sets though.”

“That’s different,” she shrugged. She didn’t tell him that she didn’t swing high unless Emily was there.

They were silent for a while, just watching the waves and the other beach go-ers. A group of about six college kids passed a soccer ball around. To the left, a few blonde girls were laying out on their beach towels, tanning. A chocolate Labrador fearlessly jumped into an oncoming wave, intent on retrieving his tennis ball. Paige still yearned for a dog, but the parents still refused. Once, back in second grade, Paige had had a tantrum and only Emily could console her. “When we get older we’ll get a dog together, whatever kind you want!” It was a simple statement, but it meant a lot to Paige. She really hoped Emily kept her promise.  
“Paige! Come play with us!”

She looked over at Emily who was perched somewhat precariously on top of Wayne’s broad shoulders. Tan hands gripped tightly at his forehead while his hands wrapped securely around her shins. Nick nudged her, “Looks like we’ve been challenged to a game of chicken. Whattya say, Champ?”

Paige hesitated. Nick was a tall man, about six foot three. Her own four foot six frame would be rather high up in the air. It was Emily’s reassuring, “I’ll be right here with you,” that convinced Paige. She grinned and jumped up, brushing the sand off her body and bikini. She ran to the water’s edge and waited impatiently for her father to join. Now that she’d pushed her fears away, all thanks to Emily, Paige was excited. Both girls were naturally competitive and glared at each other playfully.

Nick finally arrived and knelt down on the sand. Holding one hand out to help her up, he stayed still. Paige placed a foot on his thigh and clambered her way up onto his shoulders. She might have accidently kicked him in the side, if his grunt was anything to go by. She felt his hands clasp around her shins and then stand. Immediately, she wrapped her hand around his head, blocking his vision. Her head swam briefly at the sudden change of height and her stomach churned. She was _very_ high up.

“Paige, honey. Move your hands, I can’t see.”

She shook her head and closed her eyes. Nick took a step into the water and she nearly fell backwards, completely unprepared for the motion. Then again, her eyes had been closed… Nick stopped and tapped her shins, concerned. She heard splashing, and then, “Paige, take my hand.”

Paige snapped her eyes open and saw Emily beside her, still on her dad’s shoulders with her right hand extended. Paige stared, frozen. From what, she didn’t know. Was it because of fear, or because Emily’s chocolate eyes were so beautiful and Paige felt like her chest was exposed, bare for only Emily to see how fast her heart was beating. _Thump-thump-thump-thump-_

“Paige?”

She shook her head and let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. Slowly, carefully, she moved her left hand and slipped it into Emily’s, who then interlocked their fingers. “Better?”

Paige nodded, her heart slowing and she gave her signature crooked grin. She felt hot, but she pretended it was from the sun, from being up so high instead of Emily’s smile. She tapped Nick on his head with her right hand. “Giddy-up, steed!”

Both men exchanged a look and started jogging very slowly into the water. The girls shrieked and giggled. When a wave started to form far away, Wayne called out, “Ready, Emmy?”

Paige watched as Emily let go of her hand and shifted on his shoulders until she was crouching, her feet tucked under. He lifted his hands up and she gripped them. “We can jump into the wave, Paige!” she yelled.

Emily’s enthusiasm must have seeped through her skin when they were holding hands because Paige grinned almost maniacally and moved to copy the position. Nick nearly stumbled because of a sneaky hole in the sand, but he righted himself and offered his hands up. Paige gripped them and tensed her body. The wave slowly rolled towards them. They were past the breakers, so there would be no risk of being crushed under the wave.

“Emily!” Paige waved her left hand, craving the physical contact. She increased her grip on Nick’s right hand.

Wayne shuffled closer and Emily took her hand. The wave was nearly upon them. It was almost taller than the men. Paige could see the beginnings of the crest on the wave. Before she could second-guess it all, Wayne counted to three and Emily jumped, taking Paige with her. It was messy, sloppy, and would have made Coach Smith cringe at her swimmers’ form. But they weren’t worried about that. Paige used her right hand to swim up and when she broke the surface, she whooped and hollered. Emily was right beside her and raised their still-clasped hands in the air. “Best summer ever!” she shouted, the words echoing in Paige’s head until she fell asleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N** : I found an online script for the play part. _A Bad Case of the Stripes_ belongs to David Shannon. Also, we’re starting to really delve into Paige’s inner thoughts, since she’s kind of older now. My biggest difficulty writing this has been with the whole development stuff, like how smart and skilled a 10-year old should be. I see first graders at my work and they’re so sassy and smart, and I just think, wow Paige and Emily were so stupid in first grade in my story compared to these guys! Lol. I know I shouldn’t compare my characters to real life, but I do like to be accurate as possible, so some changes that the girls will go through in the immediate future may seem quick, but only because I’m sort of playing “catch up” developmentally-wise. Also, not gonna lie: I floundered **hard** on this chapter. Definitely not my best, but whatever. Shit happens lol.


	10. September of 5th grade

Paige ran her fingers over the paper again. It was fancy, the type that would be used for wedding invitations. But this wasn’t for such an event. The paper was a light pink with frosted edges and very smooth to the touch. There was a tiny white bow situated in the top center above the words. There had been a very thin, translucent piece of paper that protected the actual invitation from the envelope. All three pieces screamed rich, fancy, and high-society. She knew if she looked again at the envelope, she’d see her full name – Paige Anne McCullers – printed in a scripted font.

_The DiLaurentis Family requests your presence to celebrate_  
_Alison Lauren DiLaurnetis’_  
_Eleventh year birthday_  
_On Saturday, the twenty-third of September_  
_In the Lafayette Ballroom of the_  
_Philadelphia Country Club and Golf Resort_  
_From four in the afternoon through seven in the evening._  
_Boys should wear suit and tie apparel and_  
_Girls should dress similarly._  
_Instead of gifts, Alison has requested for donations to_  
_Relay For Life_  
_In honor of her late grandmother_  
_Reese Lauren Guiler._  
_Please R.S.V.P. no later than the nineteenth of September._  
_jdilaurentis@dilaurentis.com or 123-456-7890_

The invitations had been hand delivered by the birthday girl herself at school a few weeks ago – on the first day of school to be exact. During recess, Alison had glided over with the biggest smile Paige had ever seen the girl wear. Paige had flipped her hair over her shoulder – it had grown significantly in the past years and was about chest-length – and muttered to Emily, “Bet you she’s come to ask for our souls. Look at that smile.”

Emily had jabbed her elbow into her friend’s side, forcing a yelp from Paige.

“Hello Paige and Emily. I’d like to invite both of you to my birthday party. It’s going to be even better than my last one. All the information is inside.” She handed an envelope to each girl. “I really hope you’ll come!” With one last (fake) smile, she skipped away to hand out invitations to Spencer and Aria, both of whom were sitting on the benches, reading.

“I never understood why she’s always so nice when she invites us to her parties. We’ve been to every single one and each time she’s one hundred and ten percent _not_ the Alison we know. And tomorrow, just you wait; she’ll be back to her high and mighty ways.” Emily folded the envelope in half and tucked it in her back pants pocket, grumbling some more under her breath.

Paige might have been surprised by her best friend’s hostile attitude – Emily wasn’t Alison’s biggest fan, but she’d never been openly mean, she was just too nice for that – but she understood why. Last year, Wayne had left after a very short visit over winter break and Emily had been very sullen the next several days. When they returned to school, Alison had cruelly teased Emily about her dad not being around and how he was gone because he didn’t love his family. Of course, in true DiLaurnetis style, the blond hadn’t directly said such, but she might as well have. Paige spent the next few days soothing Emily’s doubts and saying how Wayne was protecting the country and it was an honor to even know him! Needless to say, the relationship between Alison and the girls declined even more after that.

“She likes saying that everyone went to her party and showing off how rich and snobby she is. She plays nice because she has to. Otherwise, no one would go to them. It’s all pretend,” Paige had shrugged.

“The better question is why we keep going to them.”

“Maybe we like to pretend she’s actually nice and not as horrible as she is.”

Emily had turned to Paige, an incredulous look on her face. Paige had nothing to back up her obvious lie, so she said nothing, but fiddled with the envelope.

Now, a day before the party, Paige was second-guessing her decision to actually attend. Jumping up from her bed, she went downstairs and hovered by the landline. “Mom! Can I call Emily?”

Liz poked her head around the corner and checked the clock. “They’re probably done with dinner, so yes. You’re going to bed after though, young lady.”

Paige was dialing the Fields’ home phone number before Liz even finished talking. She plopped down on the chair by the phone and waited, her leg bouncing impatiently. After the third ring, Mrs. Fields answered. “Hello, Field’s residence.”

“Mrs. Fields! It’s Paige. Is Emily available?”

“Why Paige, long time no see.” The girl rolled her eyes good-naturedly. She’d called yesterday, so obviously Pam was joking. “She’s just getting ready for bed. I’ll get her for you.”

It was quiet on the other line for a minute before Emily picked up, her voice breathy, “Hey Paige.”

Paige had the strangest thought just then: she pictured herself standing, but then she began to melt. She watched herself melt into a puddle. First her feet liquefied, then she began sinking down. It reminded her of butter on a hot pan, or an ice cream cone in the summer heat. She was the ice cream, and Emily’s voice was the sun.

“Are you there? Sorry I’m out of breath. I was brushing my teeth when you called and ran downstairs.”

Paige absently thought that she should call when Emily was getting ready for bed more often. Wait – what? “It’s okay.” She abruptly stood up and began walking in tight circles. “So, I was thinking that I don’t wanna go to Alison’s party tomorrow.”

“Why not? We already got our dresses and stuff. And my mom said she’ll even put some mascara and lipstick on me!”

Paige shrugged, despite Emily being unable to see it. “I dunno.” The idea of Emily with makeup peaked Paige’s interest though; neither she nor Emily had ever used such products. They were a bit too tomboyish to play dress up – at least, Paige was.

“Hey, if you don’t wanna go, we don’t have to. But I think it’ll be fun. Plus, I bet Sean will ask you to dance! He likes you; I’m sure of it.”

Paige wrinkled her nose. “No way! That was ages ago!” In truth, it had only been about seven months ago; last Valentine’s Day, Sean Ackard had shyly delivered a card in Paige’s cubby. There was a small box of SweetHearts attached to the card which had his boyish scrawl on it, _Paige. You’re very pretty. Sean_. While a similar scenario had happened to a few other girls in the class, Paige didn’t blush madly or sigh dreamily. She thought the gesture was kind, but up until then, had had no idea that Sean even liked her! But, since Liz and Nick had raised her right, she trotted over and thanked him sweetly. When she had turned her back to return to her cubby, she missed his reddening face.

The only thing that had seemed important about that day was when she received a card from Emily in her cubby. It was short, _Paige, will you be my Valentine today? Emily_. There was a heart next to the signature. Paige thought of that card now, resting safely in her second shoebox (she’d filled up her first one last Christmas). She remembered how she thought of butterflies after reading the card several times. Even now, she pictured butterflies.

“Still… I kinda want to go.” Paige heard the hopeful lilt in Emily’s voice and that was that. Paige was definitely going. How easily she was swayed by her friend. If she was older, she might be concerned, but at just shy of eleven years old, she thought nothing of it. Just that she wanted to make her best friend happy, no matter what.

Liz walked by and tapped her wristwatch, mouthing, “Time for bed.”

“Hey, Ems. I gotta go get ready for bed. But yeah, we’re definitely going. I’ll see you tomorrow!” Paige waited a few seconds before hanging up, Emily’s single, happy “Night!” ringing in her ears.

\--

“Stop fiddling with your dress, honey. You look beautiful.”

Paige tore her fingers from the hem of her dress and tucked them under her thighs. Out of sight, out of mind. She met her mother’s eyes in the rearview mirror and slapped Nick’s hand away when he tried to tickle her shin. She was too – what, nervous, giddy, excited? – to play games. They were on their way to the Philadelphia Country Club in Liz’s Toyota Camry. It was a recent purchase and still had the “new car” smell. Paige loved it.

She looked out the window and watched as the farmland quickly gave way to suburbia and then they were in the city, turning right onto Dewey Avenue and then a left into the country club parking lot. The front building was long and painted a Spanish yellow. There were several windows and the grass was green and pristine. Paige felt like if she stepped on the grass barefoot, it would be sharp enough to cut her. Everything about the place screamed money and wealth and high-class.

The three of them tumbled out of the car and made their way to the front entrance. Just as Nick pulled open the door, someone shouted for them. It was Pam and Emily, the former of which cradled an expensive DSLR camera around her neck. “I thought we were behind you guys,” Pam said. “Oh, Paige honey. You are stunning!”

The girl in question preened at the compliment and politely nodded towards the woman’s own attire, “I like your dress a lot.” Pam was wearing a simple, yet elegant navy dress that reached her knees with short white pumps. There were ruffles around the neckline. The parents led the way into the club. Paige went to follow, but stopped when a hand delicately wrapped around her wrist. Tingles spread from the point of contact, causing her to shiver. Even though she already knew who it was (how could she not), she trailed her gaze from the hand up the arm and finally to the warm chocolate eyes staring at her.

Emily pulled her closer and dropped her hand. “I wanted to tell you that you look gorgeous. I especially love your dress.”

Paige wondered how such a simple compliment could cause her cheeks to heat up. She ducked her head shyly and brought a hand up to carefully touch her hair. Liz had suggested an unassuming ponytail, low and just slightly off-center. Paige’s side bangs which were thankfully growing out, weren’t long enough to be tied back, so they were left to frame her face. Her dress was shorter than she’d like; she kept pulling the hem down, as if it would help. It was a nude-colored dress covered with silver sequin, save for her neckline which was void of the shiny things. The back dipped to her middle back, and covered everything else. It was stylish, but not over the top; fun, but not provocative. She wore two inch stilettos, which she had been surprisingly adept at walking in. She loved her outfit, but she didn’t think it came anywhere near Emily’s.

Emily’s dress was a bit longer than Paige’s, coming down to just a few inches above the knee. The neckline had no dip, rather it ran across to her shoulders almost in a straight line, giving it a more modest feel. The pattern was an indescribable mix of soft, light colors – mainly baby blue, pink rose, turquoise, and a muted green. Against Emily’s naturally tan complexion, the colors really popped. There were three loops intermittently placed for a sash of the same colors to thread through and end in a bow at the front. Her shoes were a deep aqua turquoise; one inch peep-toe pumps. Her long lashes were enhanced with mascara and her lips had a clear lip gloss on. There was some moderate eye shadow framing her eyes also. But it wasn’t her outfit or shoes or makeup that took Paige’s breath away. Emily’s hair, which had always been long, was parted in the middle. There was a gradual change in style from her scalp to the ends; it went from straight to curls.

Paige wanted to sink her hands into her friend’s hair – it looked so soft. But she resisted the temptation, curling her hands into fists instead. “Your hair is amazing. I really like it, Ems.”

She watched a delicious blush creep onto Emily’s cheeks. Rather than call attention to it, she held out her hand, “Ready to party?” Together, they followed the signs to the DiLaurentis party and opened a set of double wooden doors.

Calling the room a ballroom would be an understatement. It was huge, vast, spacious, and every synonym that Paige could think of. There were about three round tables with eight chairs each off to the side, a beautiful two layer cake in the corner, and a large dancefloor in the middle. On the left, there was a bar and two waiters behind it. A few more servers stood at various stations. There were pink, purple, and white balloons floating everywhere. It was obviously too large a room for such a moderately sized party. In addition to her classmates, Alison had bragged about inviting her friends from an elite ballet team and a fashion club. The room could easily hold two-hundred fifty guests, but there were maybe a quarter of that many guests in attendance.

Alison popped up out of nowhere, all smiles and kindness. “Emily and Paige! I’m so glad both of you could make it to my party.” She pointed to a few places as she spoke, “Over there is the bar, where you can get juice, water, soda, whatever you want! You can leave your purses over on the seats. And by the cake is a donation box for my grandmother. George, come over here and take our picture!” She beckoned a middle-aged man over, totting a camera and various equipment.

The girls stood next to each other, Alison in the middle, and smiled when George counted to three. Paige sighed deeply when Alison finally left them to greet Spencer, Aria, and Mona. “I’m not sure I ever want to be that close to her again.” Emily hummed her agreement and tugged Paige towards the dance floor. The lights were dimmed and DJ was stationed on one side. Several classmates were already movin’ and groovin’ to Vanessa Hudgen’s song “Say OK.” There was a large projector screen set up and the music video was playing. Most of the girls were going ga-ga over Zac Efron.

Over the next half hour, everyone had arrived and the dancefloor was the place to be. The lights were off, except for several party lights that flashed and rotated around. Paige had to admit, Alison knew how to throw a party. As she looked around at the other kids, she saw that most boys were standing on the edges of the floor, hands in pockets and awkwardly swaying to the beat. The girls were dancing in groups, a mix of jumping up and down and shimmies. 

Paige was in a circle with Hanna, Caleb, Emily, Spencer, and Aria. They were each dressed to the nines. Hanna sported a cream colored A-dress that came to her knees. She was still a little on the heavy side, something that Alison hounded her for. Caleb was dashing in khaki slacks, a white button down, purple tie, and black blazer. Spencer, who was had recently gone through a growth spurt and was taller than all the other girls, wore a black lace dress that was several inches above her knees. Aria had always been petite and it didn’t seem to Paige like that would be changing soon. The brunette wore a dark royal blue dress that was a similar cut to Hanna’s.

When Caleb broke out with the robot, Spencer countered with the sprinkler, which prompted Paige to pop and lock and Emily got the Saturday night fever. The other two girls did some combination of all four. Apple Bottom Jeans came on and everyone (including the boys) started dancing. For fifth-graders, it was a bit… risqué. The girls definitely did get low, and the boys tried to look swag and do some breakdancing. Paige and Emily paired off and faced each other, keeping eye contact as they bent their legs and sank to the floor.

The DJ expertly faded out of T-Pain and into Crank That by Soulja Boy. Once again, everyone danced, but since there was a more defined choreograph for the song, they moved together almost synchronizing perfectly. Despite her dress, Paige managed to execute the footwork for the chorus. She nearly tripped when she caught a glimpse of Spencer’s panties. That girl _needed_ to wear a longer dress. Paige touched her face cautiously, thinking her hand might catch fire – her face was that hot. The next few dances carried on the same; the DJ had stopped with the lovey-dovey songs and had realized what good music was. Cyclone, Yeah!, I Gotta Feeling, G6, Boom Boom Pow.

The time flew and Paige vaguely noticed her parents and Pam chatting with Mrs. Marin and some other parents. Another “perk” of Alison’s parties was that the parents were always invited to stay and drink ridiculously expensive champagne.

Then Paige watched Alison flit up to the DJ and whisper something in his ear. He nodded and then the music drastically changed. “I’mma slow it down, at the request of the birthday girl! So, boys, grab a girl ‘cause we’re slowing things doooooown.”

Paige groaned. Just great. Before she could even turn to her left and complain to Emily, she was ambushed. Sean Ackard, dressed smartly in a suit and bowtie, stepped forward and confidently bowed, smiling. “Miss Paige, would you allow me the honor of having your first dance?”

That irked her if only because it sounded like something she would have said to Emily as Paige, the Knight. Looking past him, she pleaded for Emily to save her. To her horror, her friend was waving her off and gesturing for her to accept Sean. Paige watched as a classmate, Ben Coogan, approached Emily. Returning her attention to the waiting boy, she took his offered hand and nodded.

Steven Tyler’s raspy voice drifted from the speakers. Sean led them a bit to the side and placed both hands high on Paige’s hips, right under her ribs. She put hers on his shoulders, but didn’t draw any closer and kept him at arm’s length. They did a little sway and circle kind of thing. She could feel her skin burning where his hands were, but it was due more to his body heat than anything. She kept her eyes trained on his chest, which worked because he was a couple inches taller. No awkward eye contact for her, thank you very much.

Another song came on – Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On – and they were halfway through when Paige dropped her hands. She didn’t feel like playing pretend, pretending she was enjoying dancing with Sean. She gave him an awkward hug to show “no hard feelings” and then stalked over to where she had really been wanting to be. Tapping Ben’s shoulder, she waited until he turned. “May I cut in?”

He looked between the two girls, perplexed, but eventually acquiesced and slunk off. “That was kind of… rude.”

Paige smiled crookedly at Emily and took her hands, lacing their fingers together. “You don’t really mind though, do you?” She knew Emily wouldn’t.

The tan girl shook her head, unable to resist smiling. “How was Sean?”

Paige wrinkled her nose and shrugged. “He stepped on my feet two times. And his hands were really hot. And sweaty. How was Ben?”

“Okay. He was very nervous, I could tell. He even stuttered! He also stepped on my feet. You’re a much better dancer. I’m glad you came over.”

Tingles and warmth shot through Paige’s body at those words. “Well, we do dance a lot when we watch the musicals.” To prove her point, she dipped Emily, feeling those hands instinctively tighten around her neck and waist.

“Shh! You’re not supposed to talk about that, Paige,” Emily hissed as she came back up, eyes darting around. She had a secret penchant for musicals that Paige only found out about after catching Emily humming to the Sound of Music. (“How can you not, though! It’s so lovely!”)

The girls did a more lively version of slow-dancing, but not rambunctious enough to draw attention to each other. Or so they had thought. The queen bee herself eventually found her way over to them, hands on her hips. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Paige and Emily broke apart to better face Alison. Paige took the opportunity to run a critical eye over the birthday girl’s outfit. Let the record show that the DiLaurentis’ did not skimp on anything. Alison’s hair was in a tight, high bun that was tucked neatly inside of itself. She had severely light eye shadow and pink, rosy lipstick on. However, it was her dress that really caught Paige’s attention. It was of modest length and had a black belt around the middle. The print was constant throughout – seemingly a chaotic mess of black squiggles on a light grey background. Upon closer inspection, the lines became flower petals. There was a slight upturn of the collar that reminded Paige of a mini turtle neck. Below the belt, the dress was sectioned into five layers of ruffles. The outfit was completed with a pair of black heels – at least two inches.

“We’re dancing. Do we need your approval to do that?” Paige couldn’t quite keep the attitude out of her voice, but seriously, what was the problem?

Alison scoffed and crossed her arms. She looked rather severe. “You’re dancing together to a slow song. You’re supposed to be dancing with a boy.”

Most of the other kids and some of the parents had noticed the confrontation but didn’t do anything; just watched. Nosy jerks. Emily lifted her chin up, brown eyes flashing. “We _were_ , and then we decided to dance together. Got a problem with that?”

“Yes, actually, I do. For slow dances, you’re supposed to dance with a boy. And unless Paige suddenly became a boy, she doesn’t count. Two girls slow dancing is… _weird_.” Alison’s nose scrunched up and she tilted her face slightly away, almost like she couldn’t bear to look at them. Paige’s stomach churned uncomfortably and the hair on the back of her neck rose. She did not like the way Alison had described the two of them. Not one bit. The blond made what they were doing sound dirty and gross. Which was stupid, because they weren’t doing anything to garner such a reaction. And dancing with Emily had felt so right.

“Back off, Alison. I don’t get why you’re giving us a hard time.” Paige spared a glance to Emily and was alarmed to find the girl with her head bent and arms wrapped around her. Like she was letting Alison’s words get to her. Paige looked around and found most of her classmates were watching them which only caused Emily to draw more into herself. Paige could have cried from happiness as she saw one thing that would help her argument. She jabbed a finger in the direction of Spencer and Mona. “Aren’t you going to go over there and yell at them too for doing the exact same thing as us?”

Alison looked behind her. Spencer and Mona were one of the few kids that weren’t interested in the confrontation. They were still dancing to the song – Adele’s Chasing Pavements now – and in a very similar fashion to what Paige and Emily were doing. There was about a foot of space between them and their hands were clasped as they rotated their arms around, occasionally doing a twirl. Harmless, innocent fun.

Paige watched as Alison’s jaw tightened and she huffed loudly. But, before the birthday girl could go over and berate them for their stupidity and grossness, someone from the audience finally got their head on right and did something. The DJ abruptly shut off the music and grabbed the mic, chuckling nervously and announcing, “Well, I’ve just been informed it’s cake time… Who wants cake?”

It was like a blanket had been lifted; everyone, especially the kids came to life and rushed towards the beautifully decorated cake. Paige stood rooted to the spot as Alison turned on her heel without another word and went to claim the spotlight. Paige struggled to comprehend what just happened. She turned to ask Emily, but was alarmed to only find the back of her friend’s head as she disappeared out a side door.

She didn’t hesitate as she followed after Emily, half-walking, half-trotting in her heels. Paige burst through the door and found herself in a hallway. One side was lined with windows facing a golf course and the other had a couple doors. At the very end, there was a pair of double doors. She knew immediately where to go. Taking a deep breath, she strode forward confidently to the end and quietly pushed the left door open. It was another ballroom, but this one was empty and bare of anything. Just one large room with windows, curtains, and a hardwood floor. Paige spotted Emily immediately, sitting with her back against one of the walls, her legs crossed in front of her. She took in Emily’s hunched form and slowly approached her. Paige knew that Alison’s words had really shaken up her best friend, but she didn’t know why. What was it that made Emily doubt what they’d been doing? Despite her own confusion and difficulty to digest everything, she put her own thoughts away. Emily needed her now; she could worry later.

Sinking to the ground awkwardly due to the shortness of her dress, she kicked off her heels and sat a couple feet away from Emily. She opened her mouth to speak and didn’t miss when her companion tensed. She was going to ask if everything was okay, but the words got mixed up along the way and she ended up asking, “Do you want me here?”

It seemed to be the right thing, because Emily’s shoulders relaxed just the slightest and she nodded. The quiet that surrounded them was both strained and comforting. Paige had the distinct feeling that Emily was angry, if the uneasy churning of her stomach was anything to go by. At the same time, she was content to let the silence linger; she didn’t think anyone would bother them. If she knew Emily as well as she did (and she liked to think she knew Emily like no one else), then she just needed to be patient and Emily would speak her mind. Ten minutes passed and Emily finally cleared her throat.

“I’m not mad at you.”

Paige didn’t hide the loud sigh of relief at that statement. She’d been worried that she had been at fault. Their first argument had torn Paige to bits; she almost became sick, she’d been so anxious. She never, ever wanted to experience that again.

“I’m mad at Alison. That she thinks she can force us not to do something because she thinks it’s weird. Did you see the way she looked at us? Like we were gross. She had no right. Who is she to say what we can and can’t do? She’s such a bully and I just hate her. We’ve never done anything to make her so mean. We hardly even talk to her! I don’t get why she kept saying we had to dance with boys. We did for like, a dance. What’s so _weird_ about two best friends dancing together? So what if it’s a slow song; they shouldn’t even play those, they’re so boring. She just wanted an excuse to have Noel ask her to dance.”

Paige had never seen Emily so worked up before. Towards the end of the rant, she gathered her friend up in her arms and held her close. She ran her fingers through Emily’s hair and was so happy to find it was a soft as it looked. She murmured her agreement into Emily’s hair and when Emily finally cried into her shoulder, Paige silently declared Alison DiLaurentis the worst person on the planet. She could handle the petty insults the blond threw at her, but she hated seeing what those same barbs did to Emily.

Eventually, the tears subsided and Emily wiped at her face sheepishly, “Sorry. I must look awful right now… Thanks for coming to find me.”

Now that she had gotten a taste of it, Paige couldn’t get enough of Emily’s hair. She tucked a few strands behind an ear and whispered, “You always look beautiful to me, no matter what. And I’m always here for you. A princess always needs her knight, remember?”  
The action was quick, not even a second. It was the lightest brush of lips on her right cheek that Paige had ever experienced. Not that she had a lot of experience with kisses on the cheek other than from her parents. It was like someone had placed a space heater right in front of her face; that’s how hot Paige felt. She knew her face was bright red – thanks to her much fairer skin. She had no idea what to do next. Thankfully, someone else did.

The doors to the ballroom opened and the comforting air that had been constructed dissipated immediately. Both girls tensed and looked at the intruder.

“I finally found you! I saved some cake for ya. The party’s basically over.” Hanna Marin strolled over, both hands carrying a small paper plate with a generous piece of vanilla cake and frosting. She joined them on the floor and distributed the cake to both girls who hadn’t said a word. Smart, intuitive Hanna must’ve picked up on it because she turned to face them. “If you guys are worried about the crap Alison said, you don’t need to be. I’ve already talked with most everyone and they all agree that she was super harsh and there was no reason for her to go off like that. She was just being her usual controlling, stupid, mean, bossy self. The only reason no one said anything was because she’s like, super scary and no one wants to mess with her, _especially_ on her ‘special’ day.”

Neither Paige nor Emily realized how much they needed to hear that until they did. Both relaxed and started eating their cake. Paige rested her head against Hanna’s briefly, “I’m so glad we’re friends, Han. You really are awesome.”

And just like that, Hanna had unknowingly elevated herself from “friend” to “really, really, really awesome friend” in Paige and Emily’s eyes.  
\--

 

When the McCullers arrived back at their house, Nick and Liz sat Paige down to discuss the party’s debacle. Paige gave a play-by-play on what happened with Alison, but didn’t mention her talk with Emily. The parents shared their views on the issue and Paige was relieved that they completely disagreed with Alison and her “bigoted” opinion. That was enough to make up for them being just onlookers during the whole scenario.

When the Fields returned home, Pam asked Emily to join her on the couch. They too, went over what happened at the party. Emily wanted to know why her mother hadn’t intervened or spoken up for Emily when Alison had been confronting them. To her horror, Pam hesitated too long and clasped her hands together and replied, “Emily, I’m not agreeing with how Alison behaved, but I did think it… strange that you stopped dancing with that boy to dance with Paige. You and she had been dancing prior; you couldn’t wait just a few songs?” Emily retreated to her room, wishing her dad was home.

When Hanna’s nanny, Mrs. Constance “Connie” Jones safely parked in the estate’s long driveway, the woman led Hanna to the dining room. Hanna relayed everything that had happened. Mrs. Jones could have attended the party, but she had declined saying, “I don’t care that segregation ended sixty years ago. I don’t think a fifty-five year old black woman would be much welcomed at a high fa-lutin’ club like that one. Besides honey, I _know_ how the DiLaurentis’ are. Sure, the husband and kids don’t have no problem with me, but that Missus though… Anyway, I am _rea_ l proud of you, Hanna, and how you comforted your friends. Sounds to me like they needed it!” The blond beamed at the praise and tried to ignore the disappointment that it wasn’t her own mother telling her how proud she was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N** : I know I said I wasn’t going to do many notes (all lies obvi), but I did want to take a moment to thank everyone who’s been reading this and giving kudos. I am really loving how it’s going and can’t wait to get into the drama llama goodness. Which, kinda starts this chapter, I guess? Pretend in 5th grade, you don’t have cooties and aren’t afraid to dance with the opposite sex, lol.
> 
>  **A/N2** : Paige: google image “Lindsey Shaw sequin dress.” Emily: google image “Shay Mitchell queen of sneaking out.” Alison: google image “Sasha Pieterse ruffle dress.” For all three, it should be the first result. Paige: fox, msbn, caa, icm background. Emily: Sirius xm background. Alison: Tribeca film festival, Hilton, Conrad background. Hope you guys find the dresses alright!


	11. Winter of 5th grade

              A cold wind pushed its way through when Paige opened the door to let Samara in. It was a few days before New Year’s and surprisingly, the really cold temperatures hadn’t arrived yet. The small thermometer placed just on the outside frame of the front door read forty-four degrees. Cold, but not freezing cold. They hadn’t had a white Christmas, much to Paige’s dismay.

 

              After she closed the door, Paige took Samara’s heavy black peacoat and hung it in the hall closet. “Did you bring it?” she asked urgently.

 

              Samara placed her backpack on the dining table and rooted through it. She pulled a small four by six inch photo album and handed it to Paige. “My friend had some difficulty pressing them since most had been sitting in the little box and dried up, but she was able to do about four fifths. You’ve got pens, right?”

 

              Paige took the album and opened it slowly, reverently. She’d picked it out at a local photo shop and fell in love with the smooth, hard cover and the solid weight of it. The album had a capacity of one hundred and fifty photos; she knew because she counted all seventy five pages in the store.

 

              She turned each page carefully and was very pleased with the results. She traced one of the clovers and smiled. “Thank you so much, Samara. They look amazing. I’m gonna get started, okay? Emily’s not coming over until eight.”

 

              The blond checked her phone, “An hour and a half. Is Hanna not coming over too? You know what you’re gonna write?”

 

              Paige held up a packet of folded papers. “Yeah, wrote most of them down. And Hanna’s out of town with her family.” She ran upstairs to grab her pens and nearly knocked into Nick who was straightening his tie.

 

              “Slow down, kiddo! Is Samara here?”

 

              “Yup! When are you guys getting back?”

 

              “Well, the drive is about an hour and the symphony is a couple hours, so I’d estimate around eleven or twelve. Even though it’s the weekend and Emily’s staying over, I’d like you two to be in bed by eleven, okay? I’m going to tell Samara, so-”

 

              “So I better do as you say, because she’ll tell you if we’re in bed on time or not,” Paige finished cheekily.

 

              Nick grumbled affectionately and padded back to the bedroom where Liz was putting on her heels. It was date night for them, which meant a play date for Paige and Emily. Though, no one in fifth grade called them that anymore.

 

              Paige entered her room and opened the top drawer of her nightstand. A brand new set of fine sharpie pens greeted her. She took them and thundered down the stairs. Samara had her computer out and was typing away. “You’ve got homework? It’s winter break, though.”

 

              “Yeah, but it’s also my senior year. I’m graduating in the spring and the teachers never let up, even for the holidays. I’m writing a paper on behavioral psychology. If my professor really likes it, I might submit it with my applications to grad school.”

 

              “More school? Aren’t you in college already, though?”

 

              “I’m getting my undergraduate degree. And because I wanna work with kids and be like a counselor, I have to get a Masters, at least. So I have to go to grad school.”

 

              Paige shook her head. She didn’t mind school, but hearing that there were so many more years ahead of her hurt her head. Sitting at the table, she opened the photo album to the first clover and carefully eased out the paper it was pressed on. Samara’s friend had decided against putting the pages back-to-back. Instead, there was a clover on every one side of a page. That way, it was more spread out.

 

              Grabbing a blue sharpie, she hovered over the paper. It was made out of a thick material, probably some high quality paper used for pressing flowers. One clover was pressed in the center of the paper, about two inches from the top. Paige had requested such, since she decided she’d write a little something underneath each. First though, she wrote on the inside cover of the album.

_Ems, here is your Christmas present! Sorry it took a while, I had to wait for Samara to bring it to me. So, remember the box I kept in her car and what was in it? (I know you peeked a couple times!) Well, they’re clovers. Four leaf clovers! And I picked them for you, so that you could have all the luck in the world. There’s a lot of them, and I’m going to try and remember where I picked them. They’re not in order though! Merry Christmas Emily Fields, the greatest best friend ever. Love, Paige_

 

              Paige blew on the ink to ensure it was dry before starting on the first clover page. Despite her superb memory (especially when it came to all things Emily Fields), she struggled to pinpoint when exactly she decided to pick four leaf clovers for Emily. After a minute of intense reflection, she snapped her fingers and began writing in the large space below the leaf.

 

  _In third grade, everyone in our class was looking for four leaf clovers during recess after Spencer had done a report on them and said how lucky they were. We were all crouching in small groups around patches of clover. I remember how no one found one yet and then Alison shouted that she had. But then Spencer looked at it and said that one of the leaves had been torn in half so it looked like four but was really three. You don’t know this, but I actually found the first one. I looked at you to tell you first, but you were so focused on searching. So, instead, I placed the one I found on top of the clover and moved to another section. But I told you to look where I had just been. You looked so happy when you found it and everyone came rushing over and was jealous that they hadn’t found one first. I found one right after that and instead of telling everyone, I put it in my skirt pocket. That was when I first started collecting them for you._

 

              After that, the words just flowed out of Paige and onto the pages. One after another, she pulled out a clover page, wrote on it, carefully tucked it back in, and then moved on. Sometimes she wrote a lot, and others she wrote a couple sentences.

 

_We were at a swim meet and you were swimming the 50 butterfly. I found this one in the grass where we do cartwheels and handstands when it isn’t our turn to swim._

 

_This one is from the park. We were playing save the princess and I was the princess. I was stranded on an island and there was lava all around me. There was a clover patch where I was laying and I looked for four leaf ones while you tried to figure out how to rescue me._

 

_This one is from school. I was waiting for Samara to pick me up._

_One time, Samara was babysitting me while my parents were away for the weekend. We went on a hike because it was super pretty out. Samara drove us and we did this trail called “Martin’s Road.” Except, it wasn’t a road. It was a dirt path and it was really long. At the end, there was a big grassy space and some cows. I looked for four leaf clovers there._

_This one is actually from your yard. When I slept over and we watched_ Up _, I woke up before you. Your mom was downstairs making breakfast. I saw some clovers outside and told her I’d be right back and not to worry. Except, I think she did because I saw her checking on me from the window._

 

              She was about three-fourths through them when Samara interrupted her thoughts. “Wow, Paige. You’ve done a lot. Emily’s probably going to be arriving any minute though…”

 

              Paige glanced at the clock on the wall and groaned. She thought she would’ve had more time. Then, the doorbell rang. She went into panic mode, eyes wide and muttering under her breath.

 

              “I’ll get the door. You clean up and wrap a bow around it. There’s ribbon in my purse.”

 

              Samara was a life-saver, Paige decided. She scrambled into motion and poked through the large purse. Grabbing the roll of ribbon, she practically tripped over her feet running to the kitchen for scissors. Unrolling a random, generous amount of ribbon, she cut it haphazardly and returned to the dining table. She could hear Emily and Samara talking by the front door, lingering, stalling. Paige managed to wrap the ribbon around the photo album and tie a lopsided bow by the time the two walked in the room.

 

              Emily raised her eyebrow as she took in the unkempt table. Luckily, there were only pens strewn about, along with Samara’s school work. “Hey, Paige,” Emily greeted, amusement clear in her voice.

 

              Paige shoved a hand in her sweatpants pocket, casually replying, “Hiya, Ems.”

 

              No one spoke for a moment before Samara broke in. “Okay, so. I’m gonna go upstairs and skype with Nikki. I’ll be in your room like last time, Paige. Have fun, girls, just don’t get crazy.” She collected her things and went upstairs.

 

              Immediately, Paige grabbed the gift and Emily’s hand and led them to the living room couch. She all but pushed the album into Emily’s hands. “Open it!”

 

              She watched eagerly as the bow was untied and when Emily read the note on the cover and smiled with tears in her eyes, Paige let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. Her body thrummed with nervous energy as Emily began flipping through the pages and reading. “You don’t need to read them all right now; there’s a lot. And I didn’t get to finish writing stuff for some at the end-”

 

              Emily interrupted her friend’s rambling by placing a hand over Paige’s and said, “We can fill those in together. I got some pretty fond memories too. I really love it, Paige. Thank you so much. You’re so amazing.”

 

              Paige met Emily’s eyes and she thought how the living room lamp made them look like a dark amber and she wondered if the way her heart was _thump-thump-thump_ ing was normal. She pulled Emily up from the couch and into a tight embrace. Everything from their cheeks, torsos, and thighs were touching.   She could feel Emily’s heart and was consoled to find it equally fast and loud. She didn’t mention it, and Emily didn’t mention hers.

 

              An hour later, they were laying on the couch eating popcorn mixed with pretzel sticks and Christmas MnM’s. Liz’s sister, Nicole, had sent Paige her Christmas present in the mail – _Pitch Perfect_ on Blueray – and they were about forty-five minutes in. It was the sing-off between the Barden Bellas and a few other groups. Emily and Paige jumped around the living room furniture singing along and belting out the words they remembered.

 

              Five minutes later they were settled back down on the couch watching Beca and Jesse watch a movie (Emily giggled at the irony). Paige absent-mindedly suggested watching _The Breakfast Club_ next time when Jesse and Beca began leaning in. Both girls leaned forward in their seats, yelling at him to “just kiss her already!” They groaned when Beca paused the movie. Now that they were older and Alison had announced that boys “no longer have cooties,” they added chick-flicks to their mix of favorite movie genres.

 

              Emily swooned over the disgusting amount of romance in The Notebook and Paige thought of romantic scenarios. At school, the invisible divide between boy and girl seemed to have lifted overnight. While not every boy and girl were eager to start hanging out, there were a few “pairings” in particular. Most notable was Alison and Noel Kahn. Paige likened it to a typical high school pairing between the cheerleader and the arrogant jock. Hanna and Caleb were able to actually hang out like usual without all the teasing. However, to Paige’s extreme irritation, Ben Coogan had joined his pal Sean and both boys decided they wanted to befriend Emily and Paige, respectively. That was a whole other story.

 

              When Jesse and Beca finally kissed, Paige was interrupted from her thoughts of how great it was that Jesse finally got the girl and now they could live happily ever after, by Emily casually dropping a bomb. As in, “Did you hear? Alison and Noel kissed at her house during a “date.” He asked her out on a date because they “really connected” according to her.”

 

              Paige tore her eyes away from the television screen and gaped at her friend. “They kissed? They’re dating? How come I’m just hearing about this now!”

 

              “Well, apparently they’re not dating anymore… Noel told Sean who told Mike, Aria’s younger brother, who told Aria who Spencer who told Hanna who told me and now I’m telling you!”

 

              That still didn’t explain why she hadn’t learned of it before, but whatever. She frowned, “Dating already? I feel like we’re… I dunno, too young for that.” Sure, the girls their age watched romance comedies and the occasional fairy-tale ending, but the girls in the movies aren’t ten or eleven… they’re so much older, like twenties. And then, somehow her mouth started moving on its own accord and the words were in the air before she could keep them in. She pictured them, floating in midair in the living room for both she and Emily to see. “Have you and Ben kissed?”

 

              As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Paige could feel her whole face _flush_. She pictured a cartoon version of herself and her whole head is tomato red. Scratch that, it _is_ a tomato. Tomato Paige. She scrambled to cover herself, “I-I mean, I was just wondering, because he and Sean have been talking to us every day at school and back at Alison’s party, he asked you to dance, and you looked like you were having a fun time. Not that I was watching or anything. And I know you two don’t hang out outside of school, and I know if you had, you’d tell me, because I would tell you if something like that happened, but-”

 

              She stopped talking when Emily put a gentle hand on her arm and shook her head. “No, Ben hasn’t kissed me.” Paige vaguely noted that Emily hadn’t said they kissed, implying that it was mutual. That was good, right?

 

              “Have you and Sean kissed?”

 

              Paige was reminded again of butterflies by the shy, uncertain why Emily asked. She barked out a laugh, absolutely ticked by the absurdity of the idea. “Oh, God no!” However, it might not have been the best response, judging by Emily’s wounded look. She hurried to reassure her. “I didn’t mean to laugh. It’s just so… crazy, the idea of me and him kissing that it’s funny! Sure, he’s okay looking with the Justin Bieber haircut, but I’m not interested him at all! I’d much rather kiss you-”

 

              Paige stopped herself, but it was too late. While her initial reaction was shock and embarrassment – where did that come from, left field?? – she didn’t take it back because it was true. They were best friends and wasn’t every girl’s dream to fall in love with their best friend? The only issue being that Emily was a girl. Wait, love? Paige pushed all those thoughts aside to ponder later; she needed to focus on not ruining their friendship with her confession.

 

              Extremely hesitant and anticipating some declaration of unfriending, she refused to make eye contact, choosing to trace the patterns on the rug instead. So, she was extremely surprised when she felt soft fingers lightly tilting her head to the side to look at Emily.

 

              “We could try it.” When Emily saw Paige’s surprised look, she added, “I mean, neither of us has kissed anyone before – at least, I haven’t… Have you?” Paige shook her head. “Right. And I don’t really want my first kiss to be with some slobbery boy. I don’t think you’ll be like that.”

 

              Paige was in shock. She had honestly expected Emily to be grossed out by the fact that Paige would consider kissing her. Not try it out on her! Just a few months ago, Emily was freaking out because Alison said two girls dancing was weird. And now she’s suggesting they kiss? She started sweating. What if she ended up kissing like a slobbery boy? Or closed her eyes and missed Emily’s mouth?

 

              “So, do you wanna do it? Just one and then we can say we’ve had our first kiss!”

 

              Paige nodded jerkily and choked out something that might’ve been “Yeah.” She glanced upstairs, only slightly worried that Samara would come down. Once the blond started skyping with Nikki, she only came down when the McCullers pulled into the driveway or to check on Emily and Paige when they went upstairs for bed.

 

              Paige shifted on the couch so she was facing Emily. Since her friend was the one who suggested it, she expected her to take initiative. And boy, did Emily take charge. “Okay, so lean in.” Paige moved forward an inch and Emily frowned. “Lean in more.” Paige moved a little more. Her stomach was churning and her palms were sweaty.

 

              Emily leaned in close, both girls staring at each other. Paige couldn’t decide where to look exactly though; her gaze shifted between Emily’s chocolate eyes to her lips. Her heart was beating so fast and so loud, not even the Trans-Siberian Orchestra could keep up. She couldn’t hear anything other than the pounding of her heart, it was so deafening. She thought of butterflies and watched as Emily loomed closer. Then Emily’s lips were moving and Paige could hear again. “Close your eyes, Paige.”

 

              She closed her eyes reluctantly – those brown eyes were so beautiful. She pursed her lips the way she’d seen Liz do to apply her lipstick. She didn’t like her eyes closed, she didn’t know the exact moment when Emily’s lips would touch hers. She curled her hands into fists and counted to three in her head. At two, their noses brushed and she could feel Emily’s breath on her lips. At two and a half, she felt the softest touch on her lips. Paige had been expecting a quick peck, but there was some pressure against hers. She was sure her heart was about to jump out of her chest, or her ribs would hurt in the morning. The kiss lasted three seconds and then Emily pulled away. Paige heard the little sound when their lips separated like in the movies and it made her face heat up.

 

              Finally, she opened her eyes and licked her lips. Emily was wearing lip gloss, she realized as she tasted the artificial strawberry flavoring. Paige was careful not to make too big a deal about it, since Emily had been rather… nonchalant. But truthfully, Paige’s whole body was tingly and warm and she couldn’t keep a small smile off her face. Though the kiss might not have been as dramatic as in the movies, she found it to have been amazing, gentle, and sweet – everything a first kiss should be. Simply perfect. She just hoped Emily felt the same.

 

              “So?” she hesitantly asked.

 

              Emily also licked her lips and smiled shyly. “Great, because it was with you!”

 

              What a relief! Paige relaxed, not even realizing that she’d been so tense during the kiss. “Wanna watch _Up_?” They were still Paige and Emily, best friends. But now, she supposed they were Paige and Emily, best friends who shared their first kiss.

 

              Emily nodded and Paige started the movie. Half way through, Emily whispered, “We can’t tell anyone, okay? Pinky promise?”

 

              They linked pinkys and kissed between the second and third knuckle of their pointer finger, though Paige didn’t understand why she was promising to keep one of her happiest moments a secret. She wanted to climb the highest building and yell as loud as she could, “My first kiss was with my best friend and it was perfect!” She wondered why they did it in the first place, if it was only ever going to be a secret. Paige spent the rest of the movie thinking how no other kiss could ever possibly compare.

* * *

 

              When the clock struck midnight, Samara ended the skype call with Nikki and went to check on the girls. She hadn’t heard them get ready for bed. She found them laying on the couch, Paige’s hand resting on Emily’s shoulder. Samara placed the blanket over them.

 

              When Nick and Liz returned home, they thanked and paid Samara. Nick carried the girls up one by one to Paige’s room. Liz cleaned up the living room. When she spotted the open photo album, she glanced upstairs before peering to read the open page. There were six four leaf clovers on the top half and a few sentences scribbled underneath. _When you told me your dad was leaving for overseas, the next day I picked all of these. There’s one for each year that he’s been gone. Three for you, three for him. And with all the clovers in here, luck is sure to be on his side._ Liz wiped at her eyes, closed the album and placed it on top of Emily’s overnight bag.

             

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I learned about that dividing line. Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I will be out of town for a month and will likely not be working too much on the story. So, there’ll be a long(er) wait for the next one unfortunately; you’ve been warned.


	12. Summer between 5th & 6th grade

              As she struggled to maintain good form and not let her arms slap the water, her swim coach’s words rang in her ears: “If your form is sloppy, your swimming is sloppy so you might as well not swim at all.” Except, Paige was finding it hard to retain that line of thinking when her muscles ached, her breath was shallow, and she was getting her butt thoroughly kicked by Emily Fields.

              They were practicing for the school team tryouts at the start of school. Sixth grade was big deal. She’d be at the bottom of the food chain and have to prove herself worthy of being on a sports team. Of course, swimming season was in the winter, but since she and Emily were aiming for the Junior Varsity level, they’d need to be in peak condition.

              The next time she took a breath (they were both swimming freestyle), she spotted Emily pulling ahead next to her. Despite her weary state, she kicked her pace up a notch and focused on clean strokes. They were three-quarters to the wall of the pool, head-to-head. When she slapped the wall, she ripped her goggles off and crowed triumphantly, “I won!” And then she looked to her left where Emily was breathing hard with a suspiciously smug grin on her face.

              “Sorry, Paige, but Emily definitely won.”

              She turned to Hanna who was laying on a pool lounger, reading the latest gossip magazine. “Were you even watching, Han?” she asked doubtfully.

              “If you mean watching as in looking at Zac Efron’s delicious body, then yes!” When Paige lifted a hand to swat water at her friend, Hanna rushed to add, “Yes, yes, I was watching at the end! Emily was like a second faster than you. But you’re getting better at almost beating her.”

              Almost! Almost wouldn’t cut it. Scowling, Paige faced the wall and braced her hands firmly on the pool’s edge and lifted herself neatly out of the water. With water still dripping from her hair and bathing suit, she turned back to Emily who looked concerned that Paige was actually mad. Throwing one arm out, she pressed the other to her stomach and bowed deeply. “My sincerest apologies, Madam. You are the undisputed winner and I am but a lowly loser.” With her head down, her wide grin was hidden. Sure, she lost (again), but she knew how awesome Emily was at swimming and it only made her more determined to improve her own skill. Her body shook from laughing and when she dared to peek at Emily from under her (bang-free) hair, she saw those chocolate eyes rolling.

              Paige took two steps and jumped. Tucking her legs up and wrapping her arms around them, she shouted, “Cannonball!” When she resurfaced, she was extremely satisfied to see both Emily and Hanna looking absolutely flabbergasted and soaked.

              “My magazine! Paige, I’m going to kill you!” With remarkable speed, Hanna dropped her ruined magazine and bolted to the pool, jumping in with her nose plugged. Thus began their usual cool down exercise consisting of each girl trying to get the upper hand on the other.

              Emily went for the common tactic of just slapping the water, causing a spray of water to pelt Paige. Paige then retaliated in the most childish way: taking water in her mouth and then spitting it at the girls. She’d actually perfected her method. Her mouth formed an O and then she pretended to whistle. It increased both the power and accuracy. Emily and Hanna hated when she did that. Hanna was a sneaky devil who liked to swim underwater and try to pull their legs out from under. If Paige wasn’t a victim, she’d probably be incredibly impressed.

              Five minutes later, they were laying on the pool loungers letting the blistering sun do most of the drying. Liz was working from home that day and had thoughtfully brought out three Orange Creamsicles. Paige always ate the orange part first then the cream filling, and Emily always teased Paige about her weird eating habits.

              “I’m thinking about trying out for field hockey for fall. I wanna play sports for each season. I’ll still practice swimming with you, Ems, but I really want to branch out, I guess.” Paige knew that the girls would understand that she was asking their opinions on the idea. Hanna was way smarter than their classmates gave her credit for, despite her horrible guilty pleasure in all things fashion and boys.

              Emily spoke first, “That’s a great idea! Do you know how to play? We could help you practice! It’s only June; we’ve got like three months before school starts.”

              Immediately after, Hanna snapped her fingers, “I think Spencer plays too. Like, since she was little. You could ask her for pointers maybe.”

              Paige smiled, thrilled to have her friends’ approval. She hadn’t thought they’d disagree, but it was very reassuring to have their support. “I haven’t got a clue how to play. I don’t even have a stick. I would really appreciate you guys’ help, though.”

              “Perfect! I’ll talk to Spencer and see if she can come over to teach you some stuff. Em and I will watch and be your cheerleaders!”

              Paige was used to Hanna taking charge, but it didn’t stop the churning of her stomach at the thought of Spencer coming to her house. If the girl even agreed.

* * *

 

              “Paige, I just said you can’t hit the ball with the rounded part of the stick!”

              Paige seethed, but kept her mouth shut, determined to get this right. Spencer Hastings had agreed to help Paige, but under the condition that Paige came over to her house. This was the second “lesson” and while Paige clearly had the athletic ability, she wasn’t really understanding the rules. Hitting a hard, plastic ball with a stick came easily to her. But keeping the ball below knee height, shooting lower than shoulder height and other ridiculous rules were difficult to abide by. Especially when she was more of a hit hard and fast or however to score.

              While Spencer had reluctantly admitted that Paige had potential, that was the only complimentary thing she offered. Everything else had been criticism. And not in a “Oh, sorry, maybe try this way.” Instead, she went straight for the jugular, “What are you doing? Do you want to get a yellow card? Don’t do that.” Paige’s head hurt thirty minutes into the first lesson. Also, Paige didn’t have a stick and Hanna had convinced Spencer to allow Paige to borrow one of hers. “It’s my sister’s old one. Don’t break it, or else.” So, yeah. Suffice to say, Spencer and Paige would not be best friends anytime soon.

              Emily and Hanna attended the lessons and tried to give some encouragement, shouting “Go Paige! You can do it!” but Spencer had quickly shut them down. “She doesn’t need any distractions; it’s clear she needs to focus completely on learning how to play.”

              What Spencer didn’t know was that every insult, critical comment, or correction only fuelled Paige’s determination and desire to improve. After this lesson, she planned to buy her own stick and balls and practice until she couldn’t see anything but the stupid orange ball. She was fiercely ambitious in meeting her goals, especially if they were sports related.

              “Okay, let’s do the drill again, until you shoot it perfectly five times in a row.”

              Paige scowled, but nodded, eyes on the ball. Spencer passed the ball to her and she dribbled around four cones closely set up in a line. She passed back to Spencer, hard and direct, bolting to the shooting circle. She successfully caught the ball and performed a quick fake out on an imaginary defender, tapping the ball to the side and back before hitting the ball into the goal. The wooden _thwack_ was music to her ears.

              “Not bad, McCullers, but you could do better. Come on, four more to go, unless you screw up.”

              Paige rolled her eyes. Always masking a compliment with an insult. She was quickly learning that was just how Spencer was. In some ways, they were very similar and in others, acutely different.

              She managed to make the next four shots and was breathing hard when they finished. After almost six years of swimming, she didn’t tire as much; her endurance was one of her assets. Field hockey was a totally different sport and used muscles she didn’t even know she had! With Spencer’s intense bootcamp, her muscles would be sore for a while until she built them up. Two and a half more months of this. Paige was positive that it would all pay off, though how she would pay Spencer for all her help was beyond her.

              “Now, to cool down, we’re going to do a one-on-one. You just have to make a goal and we’re done.”

              Way easier said than done. Apparently, Spencer had played as goalie when she was younger before switching to attack – something she had failed to mention. Paige struggled both to keep the ball close to her by dribbling (Spencer kept whacking it out of her possession and yelled at her for self-passing), and actually making a shot. She took a lot of them, but Spencer blocked every single one. It was frustrating and how was this a cool down because Paige was pretty sure she was working just as hard as during a drill.

              Seven minutes later, she was successful. Paige started with the ball and dribbled head on to the defender. As Spencer came forward and rushed her, Paige spun to the left, keeping the ball close with the flat side of the stick. When she had rotated fully, she still had the ball in her possession and had left Spencer in the dust. Bearing down on the empty goal, she drew back the stick and pelted the ball towards the goal. Of course, Spencer had to come running over to intercept it, but the spin on the ball drove it barely a second past her reaching stick and straight into the wood. Emily and Hanna jumped up from the porch and cheered loudly.

              Spencer had a mean scowl on her face, but raised her hand up for a high-five. “Good job, McCullers. But you’ve still got a long way to go. See you in a few days.”

              Paige slapped her hand and shouted, absolutely thrilled. No insult to bring her down! She had scored on _Spencer Hastings_. Now, swim practice with Emily. What a great first week of summer.

* * *

 

              “Listen up, ladies. I’m Coach Myers and this is Coach Collins. I coach varsity, she does junior varsity. Unlike some other sports, we only have the two divisions, so if you’re not good enough for either one, better luck next year. This is a serious sport and we won’t tolerate any fooling around or chatty Cathys. I know school starts next week, but this is your time to show us how much you’re willing to work for a spot on the team. For those of you who are new to sports here at Rosewood Middle and High, everyone tries out for a spot. We don’t give preference to previous members, though they do have an edge due to experience.”

              Paige shuffled in place, listening attentively. She was just one of thirty girls crowded around the two coaches. She’d spotted Spencer when she arrived, but lost sight of her.

              “We’ll start off easy. Pick a partner and line up facing one another. You’ll be doing simple passes.”

              Coach Myers dismissed them and Paige turned to find a partner. Her first thought was Spencer, but she was talking with an older girl and they went to pass. Someone tapped her shoulder and she turned to find wide, brown eyes staring at her. Creepy. “Uh, hi.”

              “Hey. You’re Paige McCullers, right? I’m Sydney Driscoll. I’m new this year. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

              Paige quirked an eyebrow. She wanted to ask what kinds of things, but she was here to make the team, not make friends. That could be done after she made the cut. “Want to be partners?”

              Sydney finally blinked and clapped her hands. “Yes!”

              Paige had the unsettling feeling that she just made a mistake. “Okay, well. Let’s go line up and start.” She winced as the girl tripped over her own feet. Great. Pairing up with a klutz is the best way _not_ to make the team.

              She grabbed a ball from the bucket and hit the ball to Sydney. Paige had really improved her game over the summer, mainly because of Spencer. She’d spent every day practicing field hockey and every other day swimming. Through it all, she had still found plenty of time to hang out with Emily, Hanna, and Caleb. Spencer had begrudgingly admitted that Paige’s “learning curve” was very impressive. There hadn’t been an insult tacked on. Paige had realized something important that summer: with enough dedication, effort, and ambition, anything could be achieved. She had learned one sport and rose to the level of an advanced player in three months! It sounded impossible, but she had seriously done her best and the results proved it.

              Sydney’s reaction was delayed and the ball rolled past her, her stick hitting nothing but air. Paige braced herself for a long ten minute drill.

              Three minutes in however, Coach Collins strolled by, watching a few groups closely. Paige grunted when she had to overextend to the left to save a horribly aimed ball by Sydney.

              “You, what’s your name?”

              Paige turned to see a finger pointed at her. “Paige McCullers, Coach.”

              “What grade are you in, Miss McCullers?”

              “Going into sixth.”

              “Have you ever played hockey before?”

              “No. I learned this summer. Spencer taught me.”

              “Hastings? Hmm…” Coach Collins scanned the line of girls and shouted, “Spencer! Come here and bring your partner.”

              When both girls jogged over, the woman crossed her arms. “I hear you helped Paige with hockey, Spencer. You two are partners for the rest of the day.” When Sydney started to protest, Coach Collins held up a hand. “You will play with Kelsey. Hopefully her skills will rub off on you.”

              Paige could’ve cried with relief. No more horrible partner! Now she could really show the coaches what she can do. She nodded at Spencer, game face on. She hit the ball, hard and accurate and Spencer stopped it perfectly. This was more like it.

              Ten minutes passed and Coach Myers blew the whistle. “A few more drills, then we’ll split up in groups and do two-versus-two. After that, if we have time, we’ll do a scrimmage.”

              The drills – pass and shoot, dribbling, foot ladder, free-shots took up the remaining hour and a half. Even though the tryout time period was two hours, the coaches extended it just once so they could do the scrimmage.

              All the girls lined up and the coaches counted off “1, 2, 1, 2…” until there were two teams of fifteen. “Now, we play in teams of eleven, but since we’ve got some extras, we’ll do nine and sub in the others every six minutes. We’re only going to play for thirty minutes since we’re holding you all late. Good? Okay, get going.” Coach Myers joined Collins on the sidelines and they let the girls sort positions. Paige understood that the coaches had a very hands-off approach to some things. They would correct the players when needed, but they generally left the organization and play to the athletes. It was much different than her swim coach, who helped the swimmers in every aspect from technique to diet.

              Paige was relieved to find Sydney on the opposite team and Spencer on hers. She’d been watching the other girls, sizing up the competition. More than half of the girls were older and had played on the team previously, but there were several who had clearly never picked up a stick before. Her own team had a decent amount of experienced players, something she was grateful for.

              A senior on her team named Hayley helped position the girls and acted as the leader. Paige found herself and Spencer acting as attack which thrilled her to no end. She wanted to be the one making the shots and scoring. She wanted to break through the opposing team’s defense and hear the _thwack_ of the wood. Kelsey, Spencer’s first partner, was positioned slightly behind as midfield along with two other girls. Paige couldn’t help but grin when she saw that Sydney was on defense. She couldn’t wait to score on her.

              Coach Collins blew the whistle and the game began. It quickly became clear who really grasped the rules and play of the game. A good way to spot those who had potential or not. There were a lot of shots taken, but none made it. When Paige was subbed out, she spent the time watching Spencer’s form and recognized her own in it. After all, Spencer had taught her everything.

              Six minutes later, Paige was back in the game and tearing towards the goal. She passed to Spencer, the ball going right through one player’s legs. As they drew closer, she spied Sydney rushing to head off Spencer, but the girl ended up accidently kicking the ball out of bounds. Paige had never seen Spencer so mad; she was yelling and pointing and Sydney looked close to tears.

At the whistle, they started again, with Spencer in possession of the ball. Paige kept up with her, open and waiting for a pass. When it came, she faked out the last defender before she had a clear shot at the goal. Driving the ball directly in the right corner, she pumped her fist when it hit the wood. Her teammates offered her pats on the back and high-fives. A quick glance to the coaches confirmed that they were talking quietly and pointing in her direction.

“Nice shot, McCullers.”

She shook the offered hand, smirking. “That was a good pass, Spencer.”

Thus marked the beginning of a competitive friendship with Spencer Hastings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N** : My trip is actually early/mid-June, so… yeah, not out of the country yet. Here’s the next chapter. Used NFHS.com and fieldhockey.isport.com to help with the field hockey stuff.


	13. Beginning of 6th grade

Paige dumped her sports bag by the door and followed Liz into the kitchen. Since Samara started grad school that year, Liz and Nick decided to sign Paige up to ride the bus. There was one for the morning and afternoon. Unfortunately, for the kids who did sports after school, there wasn't a bus for them; they needed to find another way home. Since her parents couldn't pick her up due to work, Paige had to figure out how to get a ride home. She wasn't about to walk fifteen miles to get home. While the town of Rosewood itself was small, the school was a good twenty minutes away.

Last night she was at her wit's end and decided to ask Spencer for a ride during the school year. Paige would've asked Emily, but she wasn't doing a fall sport. At tryouts that day, Paige had asked Spencer who agreed after making a brief fuss over how it would mess up her homework schedule by five minutes.

As she hunted through the fridge for a snack, she sighed. School started tomorrow. The coaches insisted on having tryouts every day for a week to "weed out the pansies who just want to run around in skirts – we have a cheerleading team for that." Coach Myers' words, not Paige's. On top of that, the intensity of the practices increased as the days passed. By Tuesday, Paige felt like she was trying out for Varsity. By Friday, she felt like she was in boot camp. At today's practice, she realized she was actually signing up for the military. The number one thing she learned the past week was: field hockey did not mess around. Even  _Spencer Hastings_  admitted that the tryouts were extreme.

Despite it all, Paige loved the two hours spent on the grass field behind the school. She loved the passion, the rush she got from scoring, and the bonds she had already started to create with a few girls, Spencer Hastings semi-included.

She peeled back the aluminum top on a Yoplait strawberry yogurt and licked the top.

"Paige, I have something for you." Liz walked in and set an envelope on the table, keeping her other hand behind her back.

Paige grabbed a spoon and leaned against the counter, eyeing the folded paper suspiciously. She rarely received gifts unless it was her birthday or Christmas. The presents she and Emily gave each other were random and totally normal. She ate half of the yogurt silently before Liz rolled her eyes. "Honey, just open it. It's a present. For you. It's not going to jump out and attack you."

Mumbling under her breath, Paige set the yogurt down and took a seat. With slow, but sure fingers, she tore the envelope open and took the piece of paper out. After quickly scanning it over, she looked at Liz, confused. "They're phone numbers? But what for? And why is Emily listed? That's not her phone number…"

Liz had the biggest smirk on her face as she revealed the box behind her back. "I talked with your father and the Fields, and we both agreed that since you're going to staying late at school doing sports this year, you should have a cell phone." She threw up a hand before Paige could speak. "You only get three hundred texts per month and if you go over, you have to pay the whole phone bill, extra texting included. However, since you're on our plan, you do get unlimited talk minutes. Your father and I are trusting that this doesn't distract you from school or the important things. And no using the internet!"

Paige raised an eyebrow. "I'm not going to be glued to the phone, mom. Geez, have more faith in me." She softened the blow by getting up and hugging Liz. "Thanks so much, though! So what kind is it?"

The woman placed the box in her daughter's hands and watched the smile grow.

"An iPhone, yes!" Paige opened the box and turned it on. "Can I call Emily?"

"Of course. And I think Pam was talking with Mrs. Marin and said that Hanna was also getting a phone…"

Paige was running up the stairs to her room, so Liz's words were lost on her. She needed to charge her phone and call Emily and get Hanna's number ASAP. This was going to be the best school year ever!

* * *

"Okay, ladies. Take a good look around you. These will be your teammates for the fall season. Congratulations on making the JV or varsity field hockey team!" Coach Myers looked around the circle of girls.

Paige shifted her feet, beyond ecstatic. Over the past week, a couple girls here and there had been missing from practices. It was clear to her now that they must've been pulled aside by the coaches and told they were cut from the team. Ouch. At least they weren't told in front of the other girls trying out. Across the semi-circle from her, she caught Spencer's eye – of course she made the team.

"Unlike most other sports at Rosewood, we only have JV and varsity. None of the junior-junior shark crap. Everyone in grades six through eight are on the JV team and ninth through twelfth grade are on varsity. Sometimes we have exceptions for the varsity – a middle school girl who is very talented may get bumped to varsity. However, we don't have any this year."

That was surprising to Paige. If anyone on the JV team fit in that category, it'd be Spencer. She looked again to see the girl's reaction, but Spencer was staring resolutely at Coach Myers.

"Now, practice is over so go home! We'll see you tomorrow on the fields where you'll start training with your team. Good job, girls."

All twenty-four girls converged in the middle and put their hands in. A senior named Sarah called out, "On the count of three, sharks. One… Two… Three!"

Paige met Spencer's gaze and when she shouted "Sharks!" along with the other girls, her heart accelerated and she knew joining the hockey team was one of her best decisions she'd ever made, second only to becoming friends with Emily Fields.

Her heart was going to burst out of her chest, it was pounding so hard. She could hear Emily cheering her on as she successfully completed the second and last flip turn and geared up for the last stretch. She hated freestyle, but trying out meant showing proficiency in all the strokes. On her next head turn and breath, she saw Tracy Williams – a rising freshman – pulling ahead with precise movements. Not about to be beaten, even by an older girl, Paige focused on kicking and slicing the water with her hands; adrenaline coursing through her veins, pushing herself harder towards the wall, towards Emily clapping and shouting. She was going to win this relay, she was sure of it. Except when she was half a second from slapping the wall, there was a distinct smacking sound to her left. She didn't even need to look to see who it was.

Furious with herself, she ripped her goggles off and slapped the water so hard her palm stung for five seconds. Paige easily lifted herself up and out of the water, only to find herself immediately embraced in a pair of warm arms. And just like that, her anger and disappointment faded away.

"Hey, Em."

"You did so well! So close, but really awesome for someone whose specialty isn't freestyle."

Paige received a few more compliments before making her way over to Tracy. She always prided herself on her good sportsmanship – something Nick had bred into her since day one – so even though she was almost trembling with how close the win had been, she stuck her hand out. "Good race, Tracy."

So, maybe her pride kept her from actually congratulating the girl, but Paige could tell by the genuine smile shot at her, that Tracy understood just the same. "You did well, McCullers."

"Alright ladies, listen up! Hit the showers, go home, and sleep. Tomorrow, we'll be announcing who made what, and who didn't. It'll be your last chance to convince us coaches that you should be on our JV or varsity teams. See you tomorrow!"

Paige joined Emily again, but before they could head to the locker rooms, Coaches Minor and Fulton called them over.

"Girls, we've been paying very close attention to you both. Rosewood's a small town and people were talking about the final swimming competition for the local team well after it had ended. You both placed first in your respective heats and it's a pity that the team stops after fifth grade. Good for us though, since most of you swimmers end up trying out on the team." Fulton exchanged a look with Minor, who took over the conversation.

"Despite the fact that I just said we'd announce the teams tomorrow, we both decided to tell you that you've made JV. I saw you almost beat a freshman, Paige, and you a sophomore, Emily. However, at your skill level you'd both definitely be the most experienced and frankly best swimmers on the JV team. If we had bumped you two to varsity, I think it would be too much a challenge. Also, you'd end up at the lower end of the team. I trust that you'll keep this information to yourselves until Friday when we announce to the rest of the girls. Now, go shower. I'll see you at practice tomorrow."

Paige had tuned out everything Coach Minor said after learning that she and Emily had made JV. She was beyond happy; she was ecstatic, thrilled. Turning to Emily, she grabbed her arm tightly and waited for Coach Minor to dismiss them to the showers. When the woman finally left, Paige pulled Emily to her in a strong hug. "We did it!"

They went into the locker room and joined the remaining girls. Paige had no qualms with stripping right then and there; years of changing in locker rooms with other girls had numbed her to any modesty. Sometimes she'd sneak a peek at the others, but that was only when her body was filled with adrenaline and she could barely think properly.

She struggled out of her wet bathing suit and wrapped her 101 Dalmations towel around herself. Pulling the curtain of a shower stall closed, she set about rinsing her body and hair of chlorine. After ten minutes of thorough cleaning and standing under the hot water, Paige turned off the water and grabbed the towel off the hook outside the stall. She returned to her duffle on the bench and proceeded to put on her clothes.

First, she stumbled into her underwear and sweats, then wrangled her training bra on. She only wore it because Emily had come over a few days prior and shoved it into her hands with the excuse that "because my mom's making me wear one, you have to too!" It was plain and white and extremely uncomfortable. The band around her ribs wasn't too tight, but it was snug enough to remind her that it was there. Paige figured that bras – whenever that time came – wouldn't be much better. Finally, instead of a shirt, she opted to just wear a navy blue sweatshirt. It was actually Emily's and had "FIELDS" on the back.

Dressed to take on the bitter cold outside, she walked a few locker rows over and found Emily, hunched over her phone, shoulders shaking and tears running down her face. Alarmed, Paige rushed over and dropped her bag.

"Emily, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

All she received was more crying. Paige's mind wandered through possibilities and her breath caught as she whispered the worst: "Is it your father?"

At that, Emily lifted her head and wiped at her face. "He's coming home, Paige. For good."

* * *

 

When Pam and Emily walked into their house, they came together and hugged for five solid minutes, tears streaming down both of their cheeks.

When Paige texted Samara about Wayne returning, the blonde replied with four exclamation marks and a smiley face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm back! And yes, this is a short chapter thing that was sorta kinda thrown together, tbh. I had major writer's block and (this is horrible, but) just wanted to post this so I could get onto the next one. Figured you all wouldn't mind too terribly… All I ended up taking out was a hockey game. I floundered a lot in general. I realize that Paige and Emily's swimming skill might be wayyy higher than actually possible, so let's just use the "it's part of the fiction in fanFICTION" excuse. Also of some importance: I created a tumblr just for you guys in case you wanted to ask questions about the story, my opinions on stuff, philosophical shit, or whatever random things pop into your heads! I'll be pretty active on that, since I've got the tumblr app on my phone. Link is in my desc, but here ya go: valleyforge-down. Figure most of you know how to properly use the tumblr address bar, so knock yourselves out! Next chapter will be more interesting.


	14. End of 6th grade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N1: Trigger warning for bullying and offensive slurs in the second scene, just in case.

              “Did you get your slip signed?”

              Paige jumped and slammed her locker door firmly. It had a tendency to get caught on the upper right corner and not close properly, leaving it susceptible to troublemakers like Noel Khan.

              “God, Hanna. Don’t sneak up on me like that.”

              The blond laughed an apology and repeated her question, leaning against the lockers.

              “Yeah, I did. I don’t get why we’re doing this, though.” Paige lowered her voice and continued, “My mom already gave me the period and sex talk last year.” She shuddered.

              “It’s because Ravenswood’s principle started it last year, so Rosewood has to look good and do it too.”

              Paige clutched her chest. “Spencer! What is with everyone scaring the crap out of me today?” She took a moment to look around the hall for any other suspicious and scare-inducing characters. Finding none, she turned back to her friends – well, she and Spencer were slowing working up to that. They were staring at her with wide eyes. “What?”

              “You said, you know…” Hanna whispered, “’Crap.’”

              Paige mock gasped and looked around wildly, “I did? Oh my god, the world is going to end!”

              Hanna smacked her on the arm. “Jerk. It’s just that no one around here really says bad stuff like that except Noel and his friends. Sometimes Alison. Just making sure you aren’t turning into one of them.”

              Spencer cut in, “Please. Paige knows that if she tried that, we’d all kill her, myself very much included.”

              Paige covered her heart and rolled her eyes, “Wow Spencer, you’re a girl after my own heart.” She turned to open her locker again – she’d forgotten a pencil.

              Hanna leaned over and whispered to Spencer, “Someone else already has hers, though.”

              “What was that?”

              “Nothing, Paige.”

              “Sharing is caring, Spencer.”

              “That’s what our parents told us when we were younger so they could have a bite of our candy.”

              Paige frowned and started walking down the hallway, effectively dropping the topic. The two girls followed. “So, how long is this supposed to take?”

              Spencer held the classroom door open, “Well, it’s an early dismissal and a shortened schedule. I think we have the whole sex thing now until lunch, then a study hall for about an hour, then school’s over.” She nodded her head towards the far side of the room. “There’s Emily.”

              The three girls joined the brunette, who was playing Angry Birds on her phone. Paige took the seat immediately adjacent to Emily, as did Spencer who peered over her shoulder and smirked, “You have to hit the big boulder first so it hits those two pigs. Then you can use the yellow bird to get to the dynamite.”

              Emily scowled but didn’t bother replying – too focused on figuring out how to complete the level without taking the advice.

              Hanna, on the other hand, had no qualms with speaking for friend. “Why, Spencer. I had no idea you did something other than studying or field hockey, much less play a silly game on your phone!”

              Spencer sputtered, but before she could defend herself, the classroom door opened and Dr. Montgomery walked in. The other students – boys and girls – who had slipped in during the girls’ brief conversation, fell silent.

              Dr. Montgomery was Rosewood’s school counselor. While the school didn’t require students to check in with her, several found their way to her office eventually during their middle and high school years. She was known to be laid-back, easy to talk to, and compassionate. She treated her students with respect and they extended the same courtesy.

              Paige looked across the room to where Aria sat with Mona and Alison. The petite girl tended to keep to herself, but she was friendly with mostly everyone. Paige didn’t think she had a group that she hung out with exclusively.

              Aria waved to her mom, who winked back. Paige smiled at that; it was cool that Aria actually acknowledged her mom and Dr. Montgomery didn’t try to embarrass her at school.

              “Good morning, everyone. As most of you know, I’m Dr. Montgomery. I’m the guidance counselor here at Rosewood and today we’re going to talk about sex.” She paused, allowing the quiet giggles and gasps for a moment before continuing. “This little ‘seminar’ is something Principle Tamborelli decided we start incorporating this year for sixth graders. You all are on the cusp of puberty – some may already have begun – and it’s important that you understand the changes your bodies are undergoing.”

              Paige glanced at her classmates and wasn’t surprised to see some whispering or blushing or giggling. She even felt her own neck and face heat up. Discreetly, she dropped her gaze to her chest and then slid it over to Emily’s. Over the past six months (ever since she started wearing a training bra), she began noticing a gradual development in regards to her own breasts.

-

              When she first saw the little bumps under her nipples some months prior before showering, she rushed to her parents’ room and told Liz. They were open about everything with each other and Liz _had_ given Paige the talk last year, so the girl knew what was happening. “Look, mom!” she’d exclaimed, lifting her shirt up for the whole world to see. The bumps were maybe an inch – if that – but Paige was quite proud of her body doing its thing. Since then, she had been slowly filling in the training bra. Her breasts weren’t large enough to need an actual bra yet, but soon they would.

              One day after swimming practice, Paige waited until everyone else was out of the locker rooms before approaching Emily. She’d leaned in and whispered, “Guess what, Em. I have boobs!”

              Emily’s reaction had been comical and still made Paige laugh to this day. Emily’s eyebrows had risen impossibly high and her eyes immediately drifted down. Paige had lifted her shirt, much like the way she’d done for Liz, and grinned proudly. “See? They’re tiny, but there.”

              Paige had watched her friend closely, half expecting her to shy away and tell her to put her shirt down. Emily had always been the more modest of them, but Paige’s lack of it must’ve been rubbing off on her through their years of friendship because Emily had leaned closer, her nose almost touching Paige’s skin. “Yours are smaller than mine.”

              Paige had gaped at that, her hands automatically bringing her shirt down. “Show me,” she’d demanded.

              Emily was right. Hers were bigger by half an inch. Paige had only scoffed, but when they were walking out of the locker room fully clothed, she had leaned over and muttered, “You were right.”

              Emily’s laugh ended in a snort and Paige’s heart fluttered.

-

              “Paige?”           

              She jerked in her seat, blinking at Hanna. “Y-yeah?”

              “You were zoning out, _hard_.” The blond’s eyes widened and then she schooled her features and smirked. “What were you day dreaming about?”

              Paige tried her best, but pale skin and blushes don’t work well. “Nothing,” she muttered and turned to accept the small packet of papers Dr. Montgomery handed her.

              She heard gasps and more whispers and the flipping of pages. When she looked at the packet, she found out exactly why. The first page was about puberty and the signs for both boys and girls. Lots of words like _pubic hair_ , _breasts_ , _testicles_ , _facial hair_ , and _acne_. Paige’s face heated up more when she turned the pages. There were front, side, internal, and external view diagrams of both the female and male anatomy. They were blank with lines pointing to various parts. And they were in extreme detail and _color_.

              When Liz had talked to Paige about puberty and sex, she hadn’t busted out the diagrams, and Paige was so very grateful for it. The only thing going through her mind currently was _holy crap_. Emily leaned over, so close that when Paige inhaled, she was overwhelmed with apples and cinnamon. “Oh my god, Paige, look!” She pointed at the side view of the male anatomy, specifically the penis.

              Paige was positive her face was on fire, but she couldn’t help the giggle that escaped. “It’s so droopy!”

              Dr. Montgomery cleared her throat, loudly. “Alright everyone, laugh it out. I know this is an uncomfortable topic, but it’s important and you need to take this seriously. Some of your parents might have already spoken with you. If so, that’s great. It’s okay if they haven’t; perhaps they wanted you to attend this first before talking with you. Whatever the case may be, I’m here to answer any and all questions you might have and to educate you.

              “First, I’ll tell you a little about what your body is going to be doing when you hit puberty. Then, we’ll go through the diagrams and correctly identify the organs of both the male and female reproductive systems. After that, we’ll watch a short video, then we’ll be done.”

              She moved the podium off to the side and picked up a thicker packet of papers, flipping through them briefly before settling on the third page. “Puberty can begin anywhere from nine to seventeen years of age. Usually, it occurs around thirteen, but it’s perfectly normal to start before or after that. Girls typically start before boys.”

              Paige decided it was very good that Dr. Montgomery was teaching them, because had it been any other teacher, everyone in the class would be laughing, whispering, and generally not paying attention. As she looked around, she spotted even Noel Kahn listening, though he was drawing suspicious doodles next to the female diagram. It could’ve been worse; he could’ve been interrupting and calling out like he usually did in Mr. Smith’s class.

              She followed along in the packet, but half way through, felt her phone buzz twice. Successfully moving her phone from her back pocket and into her hoodie pocket, she waited until Dr. Montgomery looked down at her notes. She edged it out just slightly and read the texts. They were from Emily. **This is so embarrassing!** and **We still on for tonight?**

              She looked at Emily. They were right beside each other; why text? Why not pass notes? Rolling her eyes, she grinned and nodded in confirmation. Dr. Montgomery moved to the podium and placed the papers on it. With the remote, she turned on the projector. A much larger version of the diagrams popped up, along with more giggles.

              “Alright, everyone. We’re going to label all the parts and say them out loud together.” She clicked forward and one of the blanks – vulva – was filled in. “This is the vulva. It consists of the main ‘stuff,’ such as the labia, clitoris, vagina and urethra. Let’s be elementary students for a bit; repeat after me: vulva.”

              About half of the class – including Paige – mumbled “vulva.” Dr. Montgomery wasn’t having it. “ _Everyone_ , including you, Miss Vanderwaal.”

              The next forty-five minutes were much of the same. Learn, repeat, fill in the bank. Paige wasn’t sure which was more embarrassing: the male or female anatomy. Emily was just as embarrassed as her. Hanna and Spencer had no problem with it; they were practically yelling the words. Paige was scarred for life when Hanna leaned over and licked her lips before saying “fallopian tubes.”

              Dr. Montgomery also went over the menstrual cycle for the girls. Complete with a step-by-step tutorial on how to insert a tampon. That was equally as horrifying as Noel asking if that was also how the penis went in. He would’ve earned a detention if it wasn’t sex-ed class. Paige wished he had received one.

              It was a relief when it came time for the movie. It was a thirty minute film off youtube that went over the same things Dr. Montgomery lectured about. Paige saw Toby drifting asleep and Caleb shifting in his seat, more than uncomfortable.

              She almost cried tears of joy when Dr. Montgomery dismissed them. She and Emily bolted for the door.

* * *

 

              Later that same day during study hall, Paige was studying for exams when the classroom door opened. Coach Minor walked to where Mr. Smith was sitting and whispered a few words to him. She watched the woman gesture in her direction and she turned to her right where Emily sat. “What’s Coach doing here?”

              Emily opened her mouth to answer, but closed it.

              “Paige? Could I speak with you in private?” When Coach Minor took a step towards the door, she added, “Bring your stuff. You won’t be back before study hall ends.”

              At that, Paige’s heart doubled in speed. Was she in trouble? Swim season was over; maybe Coach found out about her and Emily exchanging swim caps and came to tell her that it was against the rules to do that. She dutifully picked up her backpack and textbook, and followed the woman to the door. When she glanced back, Emily had the most concerned look on her face.

              The walk to Coach Minor’s office was silent; only the sounds of their footsteps echoed in the hallway. When they entered the locker room, Paige unconsciously relaxed at the familiar surroundings. She dropped her backpack and took the offered seat, waiting for Coach Minor to talk.

              “Paige, I brought you here to talk about a couple things. You aren’t in trouble, I swear. I apologize if it came across that way.” She had a pixie cut, but her mousy brown side bangs laid low over her eyebrows. She brushed them away with a casual grace. “Just because the swim season is over, doesn’t mean that I don’t hang around here. I come in to school after first period, so around nine-thirty. Ever since the season ended, I’ve noticed that a couple of the showers have been used.”

              Paige resisted the urge to shift in her seat. She had an idea of where this was going, and she wasn’t sure she liked it.

              “I didn’t think much about it at first. Sometimes girls didn’t have a chance to shower before school or some other ridiculous reason. But it continued. Everyday. I was curious and off a whim, went to check the pool. Imagine my surprise when I saw signs of it being used. Puddle tracks leading to the locker room, used towels in the towel bin, and a pair of the team’s goggles left on a table. I knew it had to be someone devoted to swimming; they were coming to school at the crack of dawn to swim.” Coach Minor leaned back in her seat behind her desk and paused. Paige didn’t like the slight smirk on her face, not one bit. “So, I’ve got a question for you.”

              “Yes, Coach?”

              “Would you by chance, have any idea who might be coming in and using the school’s facilities without permission?”

              Paige swallowed. If there was one thing she prided herself on, it was her near perfect slate of honesty. There were very few exceptions, one of them being Emily. Narrowing her eyes slightly, she asked, “Just to reiterate, I’m not in trouble, nor will I get in trouble, no matter my answer?”

              That smirk grew. “Correct.”

              “It’s me.”

              “I know, Miss McCullers.”

              “Then, why...?”

              “I was just curious.” The woman uncrossed her legs and propped her elbows on the desk. “There’s something else I’m curious about. There’s always two towels in the bin.” She raised her eyebrow.

              “Emily’s been with me,” Paige admitted.

              Coach Minor nodded firmly. “Good.” She rose and cut off Paige’s question. “I had hoped as much. Even my seniors don’t show this sort of dedication to swimming. Granted, they’re more seasonal swimmers, but still. Did you know the weight room is also available before school? I’d encourage you both to use it, if you don’t already. And the pool is always open for students to use.”

              Paige felt like a weight lifted off of her chest with each word Coach spoke. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, but she ignored it; probably a text from Emily asking where she was. “Wait. So we’re not in trouble?”               Coach Minor waved her off, “No, of course not! I’m thrilled to have two swimmers who love swimming and practice even when they don’t have to. I have to ask: don’t you have a pool? And how do you get here every morning?”

              “I do, but my mom, she usually drives us and it’s better for her schedule to drop us off early here. Plus, she doesn’t want to risk us being late if we swam at home. Too many possible things could go wrong. Well, mainly traffic. So yeah.”

              “Hmm. Well, that covers that. The other thing I wanted to talk with you about was the dive team. It’s mainly for upper classman, but I’m willing to make an exception if you’re interested. It’s still part of the swim team, it’s just a separate division.”

              Paige was surprised. She’d never given diving much thought; she and Emily had always been into the relays. “Would it be okay if I thought about it?” Her phone buzzed again, twice in a row.

              “Of course, you’ve got the whole year.” The woman stood up and offered her hand, taking Paige up and tugging her into a hug. “You did really well this season and I’m proud of both you and Emily.”

              Paige smiled, returning the sentiment. As she left the office, she pulled out her phone. The smile dropped into a frown as she scrolled through her messages. One from Emily, then three consecutive ones from Hanna, all sent a minute ago. The last one just said **CALL ME!!!**

              Paige immediately did so, hefting her backpack more securely and walking briskly towards her locker.

              “Paige! Where the hell have you been? Never mind. Come to the lockers, _now_. There’s something wrong with Emily. She – ”

              Paige hung up, shoving her phone into her back pocket as she broke into a run. Her heart was pounding, adrenaline and worry spurring her to increase her pace. There was no room in her mind for any thoughts other than _Emily._

              One more hallway, and she cut sharply around the corner. In the middle of the hallway, there was a small crowd of people – from her grade and above. There was yelling, shouts, and – was that flesh hitting flesh? Paige dropped her backpack and sprinted the short distance to the mass. Pushing through forcefully and without thought, she was horrified by the scene before her. Emily was leaning heavily against the lockers, one hand covering the left side of her jaw. She was glaring at Noel Kahn, whose face was twisted between a smirk and a scowl.

              Paige spotted Hanna behind Toby Cavanaugh and Caleb Rivers, her blue eyes wide and looking absolutely terrified. Aria and Alison were on the other side of the lockers next to some upper classmen boys who seemed to be egging Noel on. She was disgusted with everyone right now. How dare they encourage this, especially when she was sure that Emily had done nothing to instigate it.

              She rushed to Emily’s side and grabbed that fist, her soft touch urging it to loosen. Almost immediately, it did. She cradled Emily’s face in her hands, and the barely audible gasp of pain that escaped nearly broke Paige. “What happened, Ems?” she murmured.

              “He tripped me, I yelled, and then this.”

              Paige worked her jaw, forcing it to unclench. She spied Emily’s dropped backpack and books and picked them up. “Let’s go.”

              The girls took two steps before a voice stopped them. “That’s right, run home. You two are nothing but a pair of disgusting dykes.”

              The silence that fell over the crowd after the collective gasp was almost palpable. Paige turned on the spot and zeroed in on Noel and his smug grin. She refused to let him (and everyone else) know that she didn’t understand the word. However, it didn’t take a genius to know it was bad – a slur, most likely.

              “Name calling, Noel? Really? I bet if your dad was still around, he’d be so disappointed. But I guess since he’s not, well…”

              Noel’s pretty face screwed up and he charged forward. “You bitch!”

              In hindsight, Paige knew she should have seen the punch coming. Except, she’d been distracted by Hanna pointing to the end of the hall. When Paige turned back to Noel, a blinding pain shot through her, and her stomach protested. The force knocked her back against the lockers and Noel took another shot at her. This time, the wind was knocked out of her. When she was bent over and gasping for breath, he leaned in close and whispered viciously, “You should have seen Emily’s face when I punched her. She looked so scared.”

              White heat coursed through her and all she could hear was Emily’s pained gasp. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she pictured Emily at the top of a tower, a dragon circling around. As Paige drew back her arm, hand clenched in a fist, she imagined herself appearing in front of Emily, wearing battle armor and wielding a mighty sword. As she threw her weight into the punch, she imagined the sword cutting deep into the dragon. As she stood over Noel, who had fallen from the force of the hit, she imagined Emily bestowing a kiss upon her lips.

              “You are _so_ going to regret that, McCullers,” he spat, one hand covering his nose. He struggled to his feet and when he moved his hand, Paige could see blood dripping from nose.

              She assumed a fighting stance, the way she’d seen people do in the movies.

              Before Noel could take a step, Dr. Montgomery’s voice stopped him. “Mr. Kahn. Miss McCullers.”

              She approached them, her sharp gaze taking in the scene. The spectating students scattered quickly, until only Paige, Noel, Emily, and Hanna remained. She took in the pained expressions and the forming bruises. Turning to Hanna, she prompted, “What happened, Miss Marin?”

              Hanna shot Noel a defiant look. “I was down the hall, but I saw everything. Emily was walking past Noel and for no reason, he tripped her.” She pointed at Emily’s backpack and textbooks. “She fell and dropped those. I texted Paige a couple times asking where she was. Then Emily got up and yelled at Noel. He was getting really angry, shouting and getting up in her space. Paige called me back and I told her what was happening, but she hung up on me. I couldn’t believe it when he punched her.”

              Hanna glanced at Paige, surprised at the fire and intensity of the glare she was sending Noel. “A few seconds later, Paige arrived and went to help Emily. They were leaving, but he said something and Paige said something back, and then he punched her twice in the stomach. I think he said something to her, but I’m not sure. But then, Paige punched him, and then you got here.”

              The blond took a deep breath, having spoken it all very fast. Paige believed that she was telling the truth, but hearing the things that had happened before she was able to arrive… it boiled her blood. Soft hands wrapping around her own made her realize her hands were clenched again. Emily was insistent and after briefly considering it, Paige relented, tangling their fingers together. Noel scoffed loudly and Dr. Montgomery directed her attention on him.

              “Do you have anything you would like to add, Mr. Kahn?”

              He crossed his arms and remained silent.

              “Alright, then. The three of you will report to Principle Tamborelli’s office tomorrow during first period. We have a zero tolerance policy for violence. You will also have detention next week.”

              “But exams are next week,” Noel protested.

              “I’m aware of that,” Dr. Montgomery replied dryly. “Perhaps you should have thought of that before engaging in violent activities.”

              “Those faggots attacked _me_!”

              Paige tensed, feeling extremely uneasy. He used another word that she wasn’t familiar with, but the tone was the same. She felt Emily shuffle closer, her grip tighter.

              “Mr. Kahn, that sort of language is not tolerated under any circumstances. I am writing you up for summer detention and suggesting suspension to Principle Tamborelli. Apologize immediately to these girls.” Dr. Montgomery’s tone was quiet, but severe. Paige could practically see the anger rolling off of her in waves.

              Noel seemed to have realized he’d overstepped. Shrinking back, he mumbled an apology before taking the woman’s narrowed gaze and silence as dismissal.

              Dr. Montgomery turned back towards the girls. “Miss Marin, thank you for your statement. I’ll see you tomorrow. Paige, Emily, I’d like to speak with both of you in my office, if that’s alright.”

              Though she was giving them a choice, Paige felt the opposite. Glancing at Emily, she saw the confusion, fear, and worry in her eyes and came to a decision. “We’ll come.”

              Both girls gathered their belongings and followed the woman to her office down the hall and around the corner. Paige had never been inside before, but it had a warm, homey feeling. The room was spacious; Dr. Montgomery’s desk was off to the side with a chair. The majority of the room was taken up by five large, comfortable arm chairs loosely arranged in a circle. The three of them gravitated towards them. Dr. Montgomery sat in one, Paige two seats over, and Emily beside her.

              “Girls, I want to talk with you about what just occurred. I’m not interested in what happened, since Miss Marin already explained it. I think it’s extremely important that you be informed of some things. Is that okay with you?”

              Paige nodded, and saw Emily mimic her, albeit hesitantly.

              “First, I’m very sorry that you had to experience the physicality of bullying. Was that the first time something like that has happened to you?”

              Paige glanced at Emily and hesitated. “We’ve never gotten along with Noel, but we’ve never been actively bullying. Just taunts and teasing. While he’s not my favorite person, I’ve never done anything to provoke him. Elementary jokes, you know. Nothing serious like that.”

              “Emily?”

              “Exactly what Paige said.”

              “He used the term ‘faggot.’ Do you know what that word means?”

              Paige shook her head.

              “It’s a homophobic slur. And a slur is an insult. Faggot refers to a male homosexual. Do you know about homosexuality?”

              Paige and Emily nodded. They knew of it, but had never encountered homophobia. “I’m pretty sure one of my relatives is gay. Wait, is that okay to say?”

              “Yes, Paige, it is. However, some people don’t like homosexuals, for whatever reason, be it religion, personal, or other. They’ve come up with words that are insulting and degrading to homosexuals. Faggot and dyke are some of the extreme ones. A dyke is an insult towards female homosexuals.”

              Emily murmured, “Noel called us that, too.”

              Dr. Montgomery looked ready to spit fire. “Like I told Mr. Kahn, the school – and I – do not tolerate any sort of that behavior. Being gay isn’t bad. There’s no right or wrong when it comes to sexuality – who you are attracted to, gender wise. There is so much prejudice in the world when it comes to anything. Just because there are more straight people in the world does _not_ mean that gay people should be bullied or demeaned.

              “You both are entering the age where you start identifying who you are as a person. Who you want to be friends with, who you like, what you like. It’s a long process that takes years. There’s no rush to figure it out right now. There’s no set rule saying you have to like this, you have to do this, you have to act like this.” She paused to stand and get a bottle of water from her desk. “I apologize for going off like that. This was supposed to be about you two. Do you have any questions? I hope you know that anything you say in here will stay in here.”

              Paige didn’t say anything for some time. She was processing everything Dr. Montgomery had said; it had been a lot. The whole gay topic wasn’t something that was talked about much in the McCullers household. They were pretty sure Paige’s cousin was gay, but that was about the extent of knowledge that Paige had. She knew it meant same-sex couples, but she had never been exposed to the negative attitude towards homosexuality. She hadn’t been exposed to the positive attitude either, really. It’d just been something that she knew about, but didn’t give much thought towards.

              But now, she knew that she’d be lying in bed at night for hours, with only one thing on her mind.

              “How do you know if you’re gay?”

              Paige turned to Emily and regarded her with mild surprise. It was a bold question, but also one she’d been thinking of as well.

              “How do you know if you’re straight?” Dr. Montgomery shot back. She smiled warmly and continued, “Before I answer, I want to say there are some people who identify with other sexualities. The LGBT – lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender – community is large, and there are so many sexualities that fall under it. Queer is one word that generally means ‘not straight.’ There’s pansexual – liking anyone regardless of gender, gender identity, or biological sex. Bisexual means you like both men and women. There are also people who don’t like to label themselves as any one sexuality. They tend to have the mindset of ‘I like who I like.’ It may seem like that’s pansexual, but again, they don’t like labels.

              “Back to your question though, Emily. A general rule of thumb for deciding if you’re gay is if you’re attracted to other girls. I’m not talking in the friend way. I’m saying, you want to hold hands and maybe kiss them.”

              Paige’s stomach flopped at those words, and she shifted in her seat. Suddenly, she didn’t want to hear anything more. But Emily was listening to Dr. Montgomery so intently, that she knew there was no way she’d be able to convince Emily to leave. Besides, she was staying at Paige’s that night. So, she grit her teeth and settled down. For Emily, she’d stay. For Emily, she’d listen.

* * *

 

              When Dr. Montgomery suggested alternating ice and warm water on her hand, Paige was confused. Upon closer inspection, she was startled to see the swelling and large bruise that covered her four knuckles. She touched it gingerly and winced at the pain. She hadn’t even realized she was injured.

 

              When Liz pulled up to the curb at school and saw Dr. Montgomery standing beside her daughter and Emily, she was confused. Confusion turned to worry when she saw both girls’ injuries. Worry abated to relief when Dr. Montgomery explained what had happened. When she told Nick that night in bed, he rolled over and chuckled, “That’s our Paigey; always taking care of Emily.”

 

When Wayne Fields checked his phone, he was surprised to find a text from Paige. **Mr. Fields, I was wondering if you would teach me how to throw a punch without hurting my knuckles and to defend myself.** He didn’t understand it until Pam told him later – worried sick – about the day’s events. He sent back one word: **Yes.**

 

              When Paige was lying in bed that night, listening to Emily’s quiet, even breaths, she heard Dr. Montgomery’s words echoing in her head. _You want to hold hands and maybe kiss them_. When she closed her eyes, she saw _GAY_ in big, bold words branded behind her eyelids. She dreamt of gentle kisses and swing sets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N2: Yay for that T rating, finally lol. But not really for the reasons we were hoping. I enjoyed writing this a lot and also had some difficulty with it. I strayed from my original outline, but I’m glad I did. I just kept writing and writing and when I finished, I realized how much I wrote. Also, I fiddled with the format of writing due to the flashback story-ish. Hope it didn’t confuse you all too much! Not sure how I feel about the whole texting format. I hate bold, but I use italics a lot. I don’t like the time-stamp format either, though. If you guys have any suggestions, I’d love to hear them. I got the sex-ed stuff from the planned parenthood website lol.


	15. Summer between 6th & 7th grade

              Paige turned in front of her floor-length mirror, dressed only in a bra (size 32A) and underwear, and looking critically at herself. She’d grown a couple inches since the start of sixth grade and due to almost constant physical activity – field hockey and swimming – she was lean and fit. At just over five feet, she still maintained an inch over Emily, something she gloated about frequently. Honestly, she just really loved seeing her best friend pout. It should be illegal; it was way too adorable. She’d told Emily as much because she’s always been honest with her, and the way Emily had blushed made her warm and fuzzy inside.

              Next, she examined her hair. She never did anything to it other than run her brush through it. She’d let it grow long the past several years, enough that it was well past her chest. Her bangs had also grown out so when she parted her hair on the side, they looked like long layers. Just last week though, she’d gotten a haircut. Now, it reached her shoulder blades and she felt much freer. Funny how a foot of hair could weigh a person down. It was still the same color – a rich chestnut – but lately, she’d been considering dying it something different. She’d seen a British show on YouTube where a girl had straight-across bangs and bright red hair. She was still uncertain for the time being, though.

              “Paige! Samara just pulled up. I’m leaving for work. Have a good time and I’ll be back for dinner!”

              Liz’s voice brought Paige out of her musings. She needed to hurry and dress; Samara would be up the stairs and knocking on her door in no time.

              She turned to her closet and rifled through the few dresses and skirts she owned. Samara had called her a few days ago announcing that she would pick Paige up at “eleven-ish” for lunch and to “catch up and hear all the juicy gossip of Rosewood Middle and High.”

              Paige had decided on a loose dress from Forever21 when someone knocked on her bedroom door. “It’s open,” she said as she threw the dress over her head.

              The door opened and Samara’s light voice followed. “Hello, Paige’s stomach and legs. Cute panties!”

              Paige sputtered and finally managed to put the dress on (after a few seconds of struggling). When she saw her friend leaning casually against the wall, she scowled. “I hate it when you call underwear that.”

              Samara laughed and moved easily about the room. “Wear this,” she held a necklace out and Paige obliged, slipping it over her head. The pendant – a gold owl – hung low enough that if Paige didn’t actively make sure it showed, it dipped behind the dress’ neckline. The dress was a solid forest green color that cinched at the waist.

              “That’s a really cute outfit. I approve a hundred percent. Where’d you get the necklace? Forever21?”

              Paige fiddled with the necklace and refused to meet the blond’s eyes. “It’s Emily’s,” she muttered, feeling her cheeks heat up.

              Thankfully, Samara just hummed and added, “Seriously. You should wear dresses more often.”

              Paige wrinkled her nose and dragged Samara down the stairs. “Come on, I’m hungry and you promised me lunch.”

              Samara’s laugh echoed in the house.

* * *

 

              The restaurant – Apple Rose Grille – was a favorite among Rosewood locals. Paige usually came with her family or Emily’s for dinner. It was typically more of a fancy restaurant in the evenings. During the day, however, the atmosphere was casual. Many of the other patrons were wearing shorts and tank tops, or summery dresses similar to her and Samara’s.

              The hostess gestured for them to pick a seat and shortly after they sat down, a young man walked over and introduced himself. “Hey, ladies. My name is Jackson, and I’ll be taking care of you today. Can I get you both started with something to drink?”

              Paige decided to switch it up a little. “Iced tea, please. No lemon.”

              “Is unsweetened alright?”

              She nodded and gestured for Samara to order. “Green tea with ginseng.”

              “I’ll be back with your drinks.”

              After he left, Paige laced her fingers together and leant forward. “So, now that you’ve graduated and I’ve finished my first year of middle school, tell me all about college, and don’t you dare leave anything out!”

              The blond chuckled and Paige knew that sound well. It said we’ll see, but maybe. Most likely okay. As she listened to Samara, she thought briefly how much she’d missed her when she was away at college. Sure, they had phones now, but calling and texting couldn’t ever compare to being face to face. Sometimes Paige thought about the future, when she and Emily would be in college, and the possibility of them being so far apart with only a phone to connect them made her chest hurt and heart pound.

              Jackson came with their drinks (good service) and took their food orders. Samara waited until he left.

              “I learned a lot about myself and what kind of people I wanted to surround myself with during freshman year. I went to class, worked hard for my grades, volunteered and joined a couple clubs. I stayed busy and while I made numerous friends, I didn’t have enough time to date. I went to parties with friends, went on a few dates too, but nothing serious.”

              Paige smirked, having known that Samara would draw boys left and right. “None of the boys were charming enough or swept you off your feet?”

              Samara shook her head and continued. “I’m definitely not complaining about my freshman year; it was so amazing and I wouldn’t change anything. I was happy, but really, there was nothing super important that happened. Sophomore year was a bit more interesting… One of my friends introduced me to this girl named Carly. We immediately clicked and became fast friends. Now, Paige, you’re familiar with gay people, right? The term homosexual, or same-sex relationships?”

              Paige’s stomach flopped and she nodded. She hadn’t told Samara in depth about the Noel fight. She told her what had happened, but not what Noel had called them.

              “Right, you have a gay relative; I forgot. Anyway, during my second year at college, Carly helped me realize that I’m gay.”

              The brunette’s eyes widened. “What? But you’re so pretty and boys are always talking to you.”

              “So because I’m pretty, I can’t be gay? People can’t help who they are or who they like. There’s the same possibility of an ‘ugly’ person being gay. There’s no real or set definition of what a gay person looks like. Sure, there’s stereotypes – generalizations or assumptions – about what gay people look like. Gay men are very girly and dress very stylishly. Gay women have short hair and wear boy clothes. But what about the ones who are gay, but don’t dress like that? I have long hair and wear dresses and makeup. Do you see what I’m saying?”

              Paige shrugged; she had an idea, but wasn’t certain. “Making assumptions about gay people, especially about how they look is bad? Insulting?”

              Samara half-nodded. “Kind of. I’m just trying to show that _anyone_ could be gay, and that’s totally okay. Now, how do you feel about me telling you that I’m gay? I’m still the same awesome babysitter you had when you were little, but now I like girls.”

              Paige smiled, “I have no issue with you being gay, Sammy. It’s just a really big surprise to me. And I’m starting to understand more about the whole gay stuff, especially after – er.” She caught herself, but Samara was having none of it.

              “After what, Paige?” She lifted a blond eyebrow and fixed the girl with a look.

              “Well, remember how I told you I got into a fight with Noel Kahn, from my school?”

              “Yeah, because he had pushed Emily.”

              “He called us dykes and faggots,” Paige whispered.

              For all the years that she’d known Samara, she knew the blond was a kind, peaceful, non-violent person, hard to anger and quick to forgive. However, the change in Samara’s demeanor happened so quickly, Paige thought she missed it when she blinked. “He called you that?” Her voice was quiet, low, and very much packed with anger and disgust.

              Paige nodded and hurried to explain. “I didn’t know what they meant, but Dr. Montgomery sat me and Em down and told us. She also gave us the whole ‘gay’ talk, kinda like you just did. Emily asked a lot of questions, and I sat with her and listened.”

              Samara’s curled lip dropped and she smiled softly. “I’m glad Dr. Montgomery did that. If you ever have any questions, you know you can come to me. I actually joined an LGBT club at UPenn my sophomore year with Carly.”

              “Oh yeah, keep telling your story. And remember, I’m old enough now so you don’t have to filter stuff.”

              The blond rolled her eyes good-naturedly. “So, Carly and I dated a little. We weren’t really officially girlfriends, but we went out on ‘dates’ and kissed after, so really they were dates. We broke up at the end of the school year, because I decided I really just liked her as a friend.”

              “Did you guys like, you know. Do stuff?”

              “Paige!”

              “What? We learned about sex this year so I’m not stupid. I know it happens.”

              Samara sighed and nodded, her hands covering her face. Paige wasn’t used to the show of bashfulness. “Third year,” she prompted.

              Jackson returned, hands carrying their food. “Sorry to interrupt, ladies. Here’s your food. I hope you enjoy it.”

              They thanked him and began eating, Samara pausing occasionally to talk. “My roommate’s friend Rachel Thompson – remember her? The swimmer I took you and Em to meet? – would come and visit often during the previous year and Rachel and I became friends. She told me she had a friend back at her college that she thought I might like. I was still pretty busy with school and extra-curricular things, so I agreed without really meaning it.”

              Paige laughed when Samara lifted her fork up and most of the pasta and mushrooms fell off.

              “One day, Rachel visited and brought a friend who ended up being the girl she’d told me about. Her name was Nikki – yeah, the girl you met that day too – and she was so confident and optimistic and fun, but also incredibly smart and talented. She ended up asking me out on date that day and well, the rest is history, as they say.”

              Paige smirked, taking in the blond’s dreamy smile. “Wow, that’s really adorable. You love her, right?”

              “I more than love Nikki.” Samara took a couple bites, washing it down with her tea. “I’m in love with her.”

              “Isn’t that the same thing?”

              “There’s a big difference between loving someone and being in love with them. I realized that was the problem with Carly and me. You can love anyone – your mom, your best friend, your brother, your dog, your girlfriend or boyfriend. But being _in love_ with someone is so much better, stronger, deeper, and just overall different. I loved Carly, but as a best friend. I’m in love with Nikki, period. No ‘as a girlfriend or best friend.’ Do you see?”

              Paige didn’t really see, but she nodded anyway. Her head was swimming with thoughts of love and she was trying to differentiate them. Sometimes, when Samara had been talking, she brushed against something, a feeling that she thought might be _in love_ , but she wasn’t sure.

              They finished their lunch and chatted about random things, reminisced about others. When the red civic stopped in front of her house, Paige leaned over and pressed a quick peck to Samara’s cheek. “Thanks so much for today. I really loved catching up and I’m glad you’re not going out of state for grad school. I don’t think I could handle it if you did.”

              The blond smirked. “Yeah, you probably could, but I wouldn’t dare risk it! Hey,” she wrapped her hand around Paige’s wrist. “Remember, you can talk to me about _anything_ and it’ll stay between us.”

              Paige nodded and jogged up the driveway, the necklace bouncing against her chest the whole way.

* * *

 

              “Harder, Paige!”

              She pulled back and put her whole body into the force. Wayne Fields grunted from the impact and removed his hand from the padded glove. “Better.”

              The plan hadn’t been to learn how to box. She just wanted to have a few techniques on how to disarm an armed person, what to do if someone comes up behind her, and how to non-lethally take a person down to give her time to escape.

              He suggested boxing when Paige had accidently missed a disarming move and instead caught Wayne in the jaw. He’d rubbed at his face and looked at her with interest, “That’s a mean right hook you’ve got. Wanna learn how to use it?”

              Paige wiped at her brow and watched the drops of sweat splatter on the grass. They were in the Fields’ backyard, the sun beating down on them. She lifted her tank top off of her skin, only for it to stick to her again. “How long til Em gets home?”

              He glanced at his watch. “Pam said they’d be home around four, so we’ve got about half an hour. You wanna do defense?”

              She nodded and when he didn’t toss her the gloves, she prepared for self-defense, rather than boxing. He picked up a weapon – his military issued combat knife – and griped it tightly in his hand. It was sheathed and she knew he was purposefully holding it too tight. He’d told her that people who had knives usually held them incorrectly and such a grip resulted in jerky jabs. He wanted her to be familiar with an encounter.

              When she’d asked if he taught or would teach Emily self-defense, he had nodded, but probably when she was a little bit older, he’d added.

              They circled each other slowly, him taking a couple fake-lunges and her reflexively dodging them. He stabbed the air beside her and she saw her chance. Her left hand shot out and clamped firmly around his extended wrist, not holding back on the force. Twisting the wrist in the opposite direction of herself, Paige was about to bring her right hand down on his elbow when –

              “What the _hell_?”

              Paige startled and whirled around, her hand smacking Wayne in the chest in the process.

              “Ow. Emily, language!”

              “Em!”

              “Paige? Dad?”

              Paige released her grip on his wrist and shuffled in place, her eyes unconsciously taking in the sight before her. Emily was wearing a floral dress with spaghetti straps and black flats. Paige thought she looked radiant, especially with the sun behind her. She wished she had pockets to shove her hands in; for now, she kept them by her side, clenched fists.

              When she had asked Wayne for help, she hadn’t told him whether or not she’d told Emily about it. He had never asked. In all honesty, she wasn’t even sure why she didn’t tell Emily. Sometimes when they’d hung out, she’d gotten the urge, but then her stomach had twisted uncomfortably and she never did.

              Now that the cat was out of the bag, she felt nothing but shame, guilt, and regret. She should have told Emily.

              “D’ya mind telling me what the _heck_ is going on?”

              Paige knew it was up to her. She swallowed and looked her best friend in the eye. The words came tumbling out, fast. “Your dad’s been teaching me self-defense. I asked him after we got in the fight with Noel. I didn’t want to be caught off guard again, not be able to protect you. I punched your dad accidently once, so he started teaching me how to box. I don’t know why I never told you, but I’m really sorry and I hope you aren’t mad.”

              The silence was almost palpable. She glanced at Wayne and he gave her a thumbs up. How juvenile. She dared to look at Emily, worried she’d find only anger in those chocolate eyes. Instead, she saw concern, amusement and interest.

              “Well, what are you waiting for? Show me what you know! We’re going to talk after, though.”

              Paige exhaled deeply, unaware she’d been holding her breath. She turned to Wayne and beckoned him with her index finger. Bring it, buddy.

              For the next ten minutes, they showed Emily exactly what they’d been working on the past couple months. Paige successfully disarmed Wayne, pointing the knife – held loosely, but confidently – at him, lying on the ground. She blocked his “sneak-attacks” and mimed kneeing him in the groin (she very relieved that they hadn’t had an accidental mishap there, yet). They brought in the boxing gloves and she showed her improving skill with hitting, dodging, and footwork.

              When they were done and huffing and puffing from the intensity and pace, Paige lifted her soaked tank up and used the hem to wipe her brow. It ended up being fruitless, but the look on Emily’s face – slightly crazed and borderline hungry (like Paige’s developing abs were an apple pie) – was definitely worth it. It made her blush and she knew that Emily wasn’t even aware of her staring.

              Wayne started collecting their props and waved her off when she tried to help. “I believe you promised to talk with my girl. I’ll clean this up, go.”

              So, she did. Paige approached Emily, who was sitting in one of the backyard chairs with a slightly dazed look on her face. “Em, you wanna talk?”

              Emily wrinkled her nose and stood. “After you shower. You reek.”

              Paige rolled her eyes and followed her friend upstairs. “Really, you’re too kind sometimes.”

              Fifteen minutes later, she flopped down on Emily’s bed. She was surrounded by the smell of apples and cinnamon, almost literally. She was wearing Emily’s clothes after all.

              “So, you really learned how to fight and stuff just so you could protect me?”

              Paige kept her eyes closed and groaned lightly. “That’s all you got out of my speech?”

              “I’d hardly call that a speech. Maybe a spiel. You didn’t answer my question.”

              She lifted one hand and mimed zipping her lips shut and throwing away the key. The poke came out of nowhere (probably because she couldn’t see anything), and she yelped. Where there was one, there were many that follow. Paige soon found herself assaulted, fingers digging into her sides and even under her armpits. She can’t contain the peals of laughter, wouldn’t even try. “E-Em! Stop!”

              “Not until you answer my question!”

              “Uncle, uncle,” she gasped.

              The fingers yielded and without looking, she could feel them waiting just an inch away. Paige opened her eyes and found Emily poised over her, a devious smirk twisting her lips.

              “Yes,” Paige muttered.

              “Yes, what?”

              “Yes, I learned how to fight to protect you,” she grumbled, not at all liking her friend’s interrogation techniques.

              “Aww,” Emily cooed. “That’s so sweet of you. You’re like, actually becoming my knight in shining armor!”

              Paige swatted her hands away, blushing. She sat up, bumping noses with Emily and suddenly the room was way too small and they were way too close. Paige stared into her eyes and wondered, not for the first time, if Emily ever thought about their kiss a year and a half ago. If Emily ever replayed it over and over in her mind. If Emily ever wanted to do it again. Because she did.

              She almost missed it. If she’d blinked a second later, she definitely would have missed seeing Emily’s eyes dart down to her own lips for a _millisecond_. Paige inhaled sharply and that was all it took to burst whatever bubble they’d been in, if only for a few seconds. Emily’s ghost of a frown vanished, replaced by a wide smile and those eyes were as shiny as Paige’s armor. She leapt off the bed and performed a cartwheel. “Mom’s making empanadas. Wanna stay for dinner?”

              Paige’s stomach felt like it was doing five thousand cartwheels all at once, but she nodded anyway.

* * *

 

              When Paige was lying in bed that night, she sent a text to Samara before falling asleep. **I know the difference.**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey guys! Just finished my first week of uni classes. (been hanging out with international peeps too much) Haven’t forgotten about you awesome goobers. I like this one too. You’re gonna love and hate the next chapter. Also, we’re about 1-2 chapters away from the big reveal. And I’m almost sure you’ll hate it and by extension, me. Mwhaha. Enjoy this! And I got a twitter, though I haven’t been on it since I’ve gotten it…. Oops. valleyforgedown, if you wanna follow me. Same on tumblr (valleyforge-down), where I’m a bit more active-ish. xoxo


	16. October & November of 7th grade

              She was dreaming – of an orchard of apple trees where the wind smelt of cinnamon spice and everything was nice – when her alarm went off. Penguin calls filled her room and she groaned, rolling over and slamming her hand down to shut the clock up. She lied there for a few seconds before she remembered: it was her birthday!

              Paige grinned up at the ceiling and extended her left arm out, searching the bed for her phone. Checking her messages, her smile only grew when she saw Emily had called exactly at midnight, when she’d been passed out. There was a voicemail, to which she immediately listened. “ _Hey Paige. I guess you’re asleep already – you always have been such a grandma! Anyway, it’s officially your birthday! Well, not really, since you were born at eleven forty-three in the morning, but still! Happy_ freakin’ _birthday! I’m still super bummed I couldn’t sleep over tonight – you’d totally still be up by now if I was there – but I’ll be there this afternoon. My aunt and uncle and cousins told me to tell you ‘Hola!’ and they also wish you a happy birthday. I wanted to be the first to wish you happy birthday, of course, so no else had better told you so before me! That includes Samara! But um, my mom says I have to go to sleep now, so I gotta go. I’ll see you in like, thirteen hours! Hey, that’s funny, since you’re thirteen now and all. Okay, love you, bye!_ ”

              The message was long, but said quickly and thus ended up being twenty seconds. Paige saved it and filed it under yet another reason why Emily was amazing.

              She tossed the bedsheets away from her and changed out of her pajamas and into a black dress. It was semi-modest, reaching a few inches above her knees. The body of the dress had a solid black slip underneath with a lacy over layer from which the long sleeves extended from. It was only after Samara’s wheedling that she bought it, not completely sure when she’d wear it. Paige completed the outfit with black flats and a gold triangle necklace that rested right below her collarbone.

              She padded down the stairs, thrilled to see Nick and Liz in the kitchen. Her dad was at the stove cooking something delicious and Liz was doing the daily crossword. They both looked at her when she entered the room.

              “Happy birthday, honey!”

              “You’re finally a teenager, kiddo. Oh boy!”

              She smiled and kissed both her parents on the cheek and took a seat next to Liz. “Smells wonderful, dad.”

              “Chocolate chip pancakes, fresh strawberries, and whipped cream for my girl.”

              Paige leaned over to look at the newspaper and skimmed it. “Thirty-two across is Diagon Alley, from Harry Potter.”

              Liz dutifully filled in the letters. “So, how does thirteen feel? Do you feel bratty? Should we expect door slamming, loud punk music, hair dying, tattoos, and piercings? I see you’re already starting to wear all black.”

              Paige smacked her mom lightly on the bicep, groaning. “ _Mom_ , Samara helped me pick this dress out.”

              “Oh, well that makes me feel _so_ much better!” So that’s where Paige got her innate sarcasm from…

              Nick flipped a couple pancakes over and winked at her. “Don’t listen to your mother, Paigey. She’s just mad because she spent fifteen minutes on that Diagon Alley one.”

              Paige leaned back in her chair, letting the conversation flow around her. She’d missed this, spending time with both her parents, with no work, school, or even Emily to distract them.

              Her dad was starting to grey around the ears; at forty-four, he was a successful business man who had his priorities in line. He exercised everyday either at the gym or around the neighborhood and Paige knew he did his best to make time for her and Liz. She couldn’t have asked for a better dad.

              Liz, a year younger than Nick, still looked radiant. She too, was fit. She ran and did yoga daily. She was the reason most of the food in the house was organic. Liz was also highly successful in her work – working with the Rosewood Police Department as an attorney. Paige was so proud of her.

              Her phone buzzed – a text from Emily. **Are you up yet? T-FIVE HOURS!!!! P.S. Happy birthday!!!**

              Five hours was a long time, she decided.

* * *

 

              “Happy birthday to you (cha-cha-cha). Happy birthday to you (cha-cha-cha). Happy birthday dear Paige. Happy birthday to you (cha-cha-cha)!”

              The mix of voices echoed in the dining room of the McCullers house. It was a small gathering; she’d have her real thirteenth birthday party next weekend. For now, this Sunday had to make do. And make do, it did. All of the most important people in her life were in one single room. As Paige looked around, she had to focus on her breathing, or else she was positive she’d cry.

              She sat at the head of the table with Emily on her immediate right and Samara on the other side. Her parents sat beside the blond, and Emily’s parents were beside their daughter. Paige closed her eyes, thought about her wish, and blew all thirteen candles out in one go. “Thank you guys so much! I’m so happy you’re all here.”

              Liz stood up and joined her, chef’s knife in hand. “Who wants cake? We’ve got ice cream too!”

              Liz was a big baker, but for special occasions (Paige’s birthdays), she’d go out and buy a store-made cake with some grumbling. (“Just thinking about all the sugar, preservatives, and other crap in them makes my stomach hurt!” “Mom, ice cream cakes don’t have preservatives in them.” “You don’t know that, honey.”)

              The cake in front of Paige was medium sized, enough for the seven people with a few pieces left-over. It was a chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream cake and Paige had insisted on including a separate tub of mint chocolate chip because it was Emily’s favorite, but Liz didn’t need to know that. Though, she was pretty sure her mom knew the real reason anyway, judging by the glint in her eyes earlier.

              Paige impatiently waited until everyone was served before digging in. She very nearly moaned when the first bite touched her taste buds. Bless sugar, saturated fats, preservatives, and everything else that made up cake. She caught Emily’s eye when Emily took a spoonful of the mint chocolate chip and smirked back at her friend.

              Fifteen minutes later when the leftover cake was stored safely inside the freezer, everyone moved to the living room for presents. Paige sat on the couch and Emily claimed the spot beside her. The adults dispersed and sat where they could find an open place. Nick, being a general goof, sat on the floor, back against Liz’s legs.

              Samara went first, placing a bag on Paige’s lap. “A little something for when it starts to get chilly.” A little too late; the October temperatures averaged around the mid-forties at night already.

              Paige rifled around the yellow bag, pulling a piece of insanely soft fabric out. It was one large circle; a knitted maroon scarf. The mothers murmured sounds of approval and she quickly twisted and looped it around her neck. It laid lightly against her chest, the little frilly ends tickling the back of her neck. “I love it, Sammy. Thank you so much!”

              The blond smiled warmly and winked. “I made it too, so it’s super special for a special, bratty teenager.”

              Paige stuck her tongue out and felt the scarf again, the soft material warm against her skin.

              Pam passed a wrapped box her way, which Paige quickly ripped apart, garnering a grunt of dissatisfaction from Liz. Oops.

              She tossed the paper on the ground and turned the book in her hands. “ _Rebecca Soni: Breaking Records, One Stroke at a Time_.” She read the flap quickly. “I love her, she’s one of my idols, being an Olympic swimmer and all, especially with the breaststroke. Thanks a ton, Pam.”

              Paige smiled at the woman. She saw something flying at her, but she was quick to react, catching the small, rectangular box before it hit her or Emily in the face. It was heavier than she thought. Curious, she glanced at Wayne before breaking the simple, scotch tape job. She gasped and pulled out the folded knife.

              The handle was a dark green and she knew by the feel of the grip that it was real. She looked at her parents and Wayne in wonder. “How…?”

              “It took a lot of convincing on my part for your parents to agree. But eventually, they caved. They know about the training we’ve been doing and with those demonstrations we showed, they were more receptive to listening to my idea. I know you can handle yourself pretty darn well with just your fists, but there’s some real crazies out there, Paige. And it’d make me feel better if you had that. I’ve trained you how to use one and I trust you’ll use your judgement with it. Now, it’s only for emergencies. Not for showing your buddies your new toy. If someone is about to attack you and for whatever reason has an advantage over you, that’s for you to use to protect yourself or someone else.” Paige didn’t miss his dark eyes dart beside her for the briefest of seconds.

              She nodded seriously, understanding exactly what he was saying. She covered the box and set it on the table. “Thank you so much, Wayne. For all you’ve done. And you too, mom and dad, for allowing that.”

              Nick leaned over and handed her an envelope. Her mom prefaced the gift by saying, “Hopefully being a teenager and all, you won’t find this too lame or boring.”

              She smirked and tore the envelope open. She read the card, smiling at her parents’ loving words and best wishes, before looking at the three tickets tucked in. “The Cirque du Carivale. Isn’t that the big traveling carnival that was on the news a month ago? It’s like hugely popular and really big?”

              Liz shrugged, feigning indifference. “I’m not sure. Maybe. It’s probably not cool enough for you, though…”

              Paige grinned and held the card and tickets close to her chest, shaking her head, “Nuh-uh, it’s totally cool! I can’t believe you got me tickets! Thank you so much!”

              Nick sat up and gestured to Emily and Samara, “We figured you’d rather go with Em and Samara instead of us old people. It’s over Thanksgiving holiday in Philadelphia.”

              She exchanged excited smiles with Emily and decided November couldn’t come fast enough. Cirque du Carivale was a branch of the Cirque du Soleil, but instead of the incredible acrobats, fire breathers, and other entertaining shows, there were incredible carnival rides and games that were amped up and better than the average carnival.

              After thanking and hugging everyone, Paige shifted on the couch, eager to retreat upstairs with Emily. Thankfully, Pam asked Samara how graduate school was going and the adults were busy listening to their favorite blond describe her psychology classes. Paige grabbed her friend’s hand and led them to her room.

              She sat on her bed and watched Emily kneel on the floor and pull a wrapped box from underneath her bed. Wait, what?

              “Don’t look so surprised. What did you think I was doing when I asked to use your hairbrush? In case you didn’t notice, my hair was perfect already.”

              Paige had noticed. She pursed her lips, hiding a smile. “So, what did ya get me?”

              “Correction: what did I make you?”

              She actually clapped her hands and squealed. See? Totally not a teenager; teenagers didn’t do that. She took the present and despite her raging excitement, gingerly tore the paper and opened the box. There was no tissue paper, so she saw the gift immediately. And it quite literally took her breath away for a second. She coughed, appreciative of the hand that rubbed her back firmly.

              “Em, there are no words to describe this… It’s so beautiful and amazing and just holy _shit_.” Paige whispered the last word, staring in awe at the painted canvas.

              It was long and rectangular in shape, and she didn’t know whether to hold it horizontally or vertically. It looked fantastic both ways. The canvas background was white, and there were nine parts to the overall painting. Pieces of the nine planets (because Pluto will always be a planet, let’s be real) were aligned with each other so that together, they gave the impression of one-half of a giant planet. Not only that, but the sections of each planet were colored in.

              She looked at Emily and gaped. “How…?”

              “We both love the stars, and I wanted to make something for you. So, I looked up planets and eventually found this piece that this guy Steve Gildea did and copied it myself. He sells prints of it, but that wouldn’t have been as cool.”

              Paige placed the painting off to the side carefully and stood up, holding out her hand. “Stand up.”

              Emily took her hand without hesitating and Paige pulled her into a tight embrace, wrapping her arms around her friend’s neck and tucking her face into the side opposite. “Thank you so much, Em. You’re the most important person in my life and I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

              “Probably turn into a hermit and go live in the woods and spend the nights staring at the stars,” Emily snorted, wrapping her own arms low around Paige’s waist. “But you’re welcome, loser.”

              Paige breathed in and really, she wouldn’t have had her birthday any other way.

* * *

 

              She was in the process of putting her brown gladiator sandals on her left foot when her bedroom door burst open and Emily breezed in. “Cute dress, Paige, but unfortunately it’s not really carnival attire. You can’t play ring toss, darts, skee-ball, whack-a-mole, dime pitch, birthday, duck pond, pingpong ball and fishbowl, milk bottle, balloon darts, ring the bell, or the carousel in a dress!”

              Everything was said very fast and Paige had a hard time following. “How does wearing a dress not work for the _duck pond_? Better yet – why would we even do that?”

              “Are you being a typical teenager, thinking the duck pond is too lame? I wouldn’t know, yet. Hurry up, change! Wear those black jeans you have – they look really good. Samara’s waiting in the car, something about calling her girlfriend.”

              “Hey! Just ‘cause I’m thirteen doesn’t mean I’m any different than when I was twelve.” Paige went to her closet and pulled her dress over her head, picking up the jeans off the floor – she had considered them. She totally ignored what Emily had said about them. Yup.

              “Yeah, yeah. Wear this sleeveless vest over your shirt and this necklace. You’re gonna look so badass with this vest.” Emily teased. Paige knew that Emily knew how much she liked the vest. It was black and went well with almost everything, so sue her.

              Paige obediently shrugged on the vest and laced up her black combat boots. So maybe she was going through a _slight_ rebellious phase, looking like a badass and everything. Sometimes she caught Emily looking at her in her new outfits way longer than normal. Sometimes she’d let herself think that Emily was looking for another reason other than the fact that they were new outfits.

              Properly dressed, she followed Emily out of the house and into the red Civic. It was a couple hours after lunch time and the drive to Philadelphia was an hour. Samara was still on the phone when they slid into the seats. She tried not to eavesdrop, but Paige caught the quiet goodbye, followed by “love you, babe.” She smiled and cooed loudly, “Aww! How cute, Sammy.” She promptly had a purse thrown at her.

              The drive seemed short, filled mostly with sing-alongs and cheesy jokes. “Hey Paige, what do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.” “ _You’ve got that James Dean daydream look in your eye_.” “Em, what do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk!” “Samara, how do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it.” “ _If you’re ready come and get it, na-na-na-na_.”

              At three-thirty o’clock on the dot, they presented their tickets, received wristbands, and walked through the entrance to Cirque du Carivale. Almost immediately, Paige was hit with a very strong aroma – a mix of bad body odor, funnel cakes, dirt, greasy food, and a petting zoo. She supposed that even a “high-end” carnival wasn’t immune to the typical public characteristics. She paused to take in the sights, sounds, and smells, only to be shoved roughly by a passing man. Her glare went unnoticed.

              She felt a warm hand wrap around her wrist and followed it, admiring the smooth tan skin, until she met stormy brown eyes. “Follow me, Paige. Ring toss first!”

              Paige wondered if Emily knew she’d follow her anywhere.

* * *

 

              “Crap,” she muttered. Sports involving balls weren’t ever her thing, but they were really hating her currently. The woman sitting on the collapsible seat inside the dunking booth wiggled her very realistic-looking mermaid tail. Paige threw the baseball at the target, groaning when missed, _again_. She accepted the fifth and final ball, and standing thirteen feet away, pitched it. She’d groused upon learning the throwing distance equaled that of her age in feet. Clearly, this carnival wasn’t an ordinary one, where the distance would have been seven feet at most. There was a solid _thunk_ and the woman let out a surprised gasp as she was unceremoniously dunked. “Yes!” Paige whirled around and hit Emily and Samara’s offered hands.

              They’d been at Cirque du Carivale for two hours and only made it through about half of the booths, shows, fun houses, and artists that were offered. While the Ringling Bros. Circus was the greatest show on Earth, Cirque du Carivale was the greatest carnival on Earth, Paige decided. Everything was better, cooler, bigger, higher, louder, brighter, and other superlative adjectives. She passed one booth where one of the prizes was an iPod nano.

              Instead of a typical carnival where one had to buy tickets and use an x-number of them to participate in the games, their white wristband gained them access to everything. Paige didn’t want to even consider the price of a single ticket for this place. Her parents’ gift was definitely high up on the list of best gifts, right below Emily’s.

              All three of them had won a few modest prizes ranging from Paige’s pack of one hundred sharpie markers to Samara’s genuine g-shock watch. The carnival even provided the patrons with shopping carts on steroids – plastic all-terrain wheels instead of the regular ones. They split two between them.

              When the mermaid lady gestured for her to pick a prize (because even the dunk tank, where the satisfaction of dunking someone is usually a prize in and of itself, has assorted prizes), Paige conferred the decision to Emily, who immediately pointed to the foam sword. Paige blushed when her friend made a show of “bestowing” the weapon to her, but she accepted it of course. She bumped her right fist against her chest and exaggeratedly grunted, “’Tis an honor, my lady.”

              Emily’s laugh echoed in her ears as they moved on to the next game.

* * *

 

              “Okay, let’s see who’s the stronger of you two,” Samara said as she herded them over to the high striker game.

              Paige rolled the sleeves of her (Emily’s) sweatshirt up, eager to prove her strength. There was little to no doubt she was stronger than Emily – mainly due to the training with Wayne. Still, she was curious to see how she’d stack up against her friend.

              The line was long, but they passed the time with pretend in-the-air-arm-wrestling-matches, comparing who was taller, and generally flexing their muscles for Samara to decide who was stronger.

              When they reached the front of the line, Paige graciously allowed Emily to try before her. She watched Emily take her black and white varsity jacket off, catching it when it was thrown at her. Emily presented her wristband and accepted the mallet. She took a few practice swings, Samara letting out a cat call all the while.

              Emily stepped up to the line and hefted the mallet up, gripping it tight. She swung it up and over her shoulder, the mallet striking the lever solidly. Paige watched the puck inside the tower ascend, the lights lighting up as it went. A small sign said the tower was thirty feet high and she estimated just under half of the lights flashed on.

              “Fourteen feet, seven inches!” the operator yelled. Not bad at all. Surprisingly, there was no prize for the game unless someone hit the bell at the top.

              It was Paige’s turn. She handed Emily’s sweatshirt back and offered her congratulations, accepting the mallet in return. It was rather heavy; the handle was long and wooden and when she touched the head, she was pleased to find it was a hard rubber. It was doubtful that anyone would run around taking people out with a rubber sledgehammer. She adjusted her jumper’s sleeves again and waited for the attendant’s go-ahead.

              When the man gestured to her, Paige lifted the mallet and rolled her shoulders. She brought it up high in a near perfect arc and slammed it down onto the large lever. The puck shot up and she cheered inwardly when it passed the area where Emily’s had gone.

              “Seventeen feet, nine inches!” the mustached man shouted.

              Paige grinned widely, accepting the praises from her friends and a few impressed strangers. A hand wrapped around her right bicep and squeezed. “I knew these guns weren’t just for show,” Emily laughed into her ear. Paige shivered; it was unclear if it was from the cold, Pennsylvania air or Emily’s proximity. Probably both.

* * *

 

              “Two more things guys, before we gotta head back home,” Samara said, checking her phone for messages.

              “The fortune teller and the Ferris wheel!”

              Paige patted her full stomach – funnel cake and cotton candy for dinner – and hummed her agreement, especially for the fortune teller. She wasn’t a devout believer, but she was curious as to what the crystal ball had to say for her.

              She gave her cart a hard push when it caught on a rock. Soon, they were standing outside of a small, violet tent. It looked out of place being so small and everything else was so much bigger and more extravagant. There was no line, also something that was unusual since every other booth or game had had a line of at least ten people.

              “I’ll stay out here and watch our stuff,” the blond shooed them.

              Paige pulled back the flap and entered, holding it for Emily. It was dark, darker than outside – and it was nearing seven o’clock. In November, the night fell earlier than normal and the sun was already completely set. If she looked up outside, she’d see the thin fingernail sliver of the moon.

              The only light source in the tent emanated from a single old-fashioned lantern sitting on a table. It cast a low, golden glow on everything within two feet of it, including the figure seated at the table. Paige couldn’t tell if it was a woman or man due to the hooded cloak covering the person – only a pair of steel-blue eyes staring steadily back at her. She drew closer, pausing minutely at the feel of fingers slipping between her own. “Excuse me? We’re here to have our fortunes read.”

              A decidedly female hand pointed at two empty seats. Paige slid into one and out of the corner of her eye, saw Emily do the same. They sat, quiet and unsure of how to proceed. The woman decided for them. “So, girls. You’re here to have your fortune told, eh? Tell me something, then. Your names, who your best friend is, your birthday, the best moment of your life, and the scariest moment of your life.” She had a thick, British accent.

              Paige spoke first; she didn’t even have to think about it. “My name is Paige, my best friend is Emily, right here. My birthday is October twenty-fourth. The best moment of my life was hearing that her dad was back from deployment for good. And the scariest was when she got in a fight at school last year.”

              She turned her gaze on Emily as she talked. “I’m Emily and this girl,” she nudged Paige. “Is my best friend. My birthday’s April eighth and the best moment was making the swim team with Paige and the scariest moment was when I saw that she’d gotten a black eye, but it ended up being from field hockey practice.”

              Paige remembered that well. One of the girls on the team – Sydney – had accidently hit the ball so it popped up in the air and it had connected harshly with her face.

              The woman threw back her hood and Paige was surprised to discover her to be very young, no older than twenty-five. “My name’s Lacerta.” At Emily’s skeptical gaze, she added, “My show name, okay? Fortune telling doesn’t really work if my name’s something basic like Sarah.”

              Paige stared at her, curious as to why such a young woman – girl – would be part of Cirque du Carivale. It seemed like most of the employees were much older. Lacerta was blond, though she was almost positive it was dyed. It was a platinum blond that Paige was certain only albinos could achieve naturally. Her eyes were half-lidded and with her features revealed, she looked bored. Paige wouldn’t blame her; doing the same thing over and over again for people.

              “Anyways, I’ve got some cards – yeah, tarot – and I’m gonna have you choose three each. We’ll see what they have to say about your future.”

              Paige watched as a deck of cards was set on the table face down, three rows with twenty-six cards spread out evenly. She picked one from each row, tapping them as Lacerta set them aside. Emily chose two from the middle row and one from the bottom.

              The blond took Paige’s cards first and flipped one over. A single hand protruding from a cloud held a sword upon which a crown rested on the tip. “The knight of cups. Romantic, fanciful, sensitive yet temperamental, finds beauty in most everything, and introspective,” Lacerta muttered. “A good card. You’re romantic, in touch with your emotions.” Paige blushed, finding several of those mentioned, true.

              She turned the next card. There was a dark, cloaked figure standing in what seemed to be a desert with a small river and a village in the background. Several golden chalices lay scattered about. “The five cups. Not good. Loss, regret, and grief.”

              Paige’s stomach churned at her words. She wasn’t sure she believed in the stuff, but still, hearing it wasn’t too comforting either way. Emily’s hand tightened and she took a deep breath.

              “And lastly, the lovers.”

              Paige shivered, acutely aware of Emily’s touch. The card showed a naked man and woman with an angel-like figure above them in the sky. A golden sun covered the top of the card.

              “Symbolizing relationships, sex, personal beliefs, and morality.” Lacerta’s voice fluctuated at the second meaning, causing both girls to blush. “An alright batch I’d say, Paige. Now you, Emily.”

              The blond cleared the table of the other cards – excluding Paige’s – and placed them to the side. “First.” She flipped it. “The two of swords. Blocked emotions, avoidance, and stalemate.” Paige felt Lacerta’s gaze on her as she spoke. “Denial of true feelings, pretending everything is fine, and unwilling to make a choice.”

              Emily’s lips turned down into a frown and she shook her head minutely. Paige knew the card was incorrect.

              “The knight of wands. Charming, daring, self-confident, adventurous, and passionate. You’re physically attractive and can be sexy, self-assured, bold, thrill-seeking, and zealous in your endeavors.”

              Paige knew some of them to be true of Emily and some she found of herself. Emily definitely fit in the first category, she smirked at the thought.

              “The final card is – wait. That’s not possible. There’s only one of each card.” Lacerta’s previously monotone voice only held confusion. The card laying before them had a naked man and women, an angel, and a sun with the words “The Lovers” on the bottom.

              Paige leaned forward, interest piqued. “What does it mean?”

              Lacerta’s eyebrows knitted together and she shook her head. “I’m not sure. It’s never happened before. And I know it’s not an extra because I counted the cards myself before you came in and there were seventy-eight.”

              “Paige, Emily! We’ve gotta head to the Ferris wheel now if you still wanna go!”

              The three of them jumped in their seats, Samara’s voice jolting Paige back to reality. Emily stood up and tugged Paige with her. “Thanks a ton, Lacerta. See you around, maybe!”

              They were just through the tent flap with a hand grabbed Paige’s free one. “You left something. Come with me.”

              Paige looked back at Emily and gestured her to join Samara who was sitting on a rather luxurious bench. She turned and followed Lacerta back in. She hadn’t thought she left anything, but…

              “I’ll make this quick because I know you’re in a rush. I wanted to tell you do not to give up on Emily, even if things happen in the future that make it difficult. I can see the love you have for her.” The blond held up a hand when Paige tried to interrupt. “I know because I’ve felt it before too. And If I were the sort to beg, I would beg you not to give up. But I’m not, so instead, I’m lecturing you on it.”

              The brunette let the words sink in before asking, “Why do you care? Why are you telling me?”

              “I left a girl back at Bristol when I got offered this job. I was much different five years ago. Her name was Emily as well. Fiery, stubborn, shy. It’s my biggest regret.”

              “Why not go back?”              

              “I’m not quite sure why I haven’t. I’m in no way required to stay on here. They’d have no trouble replacing me. I was young, caught up in the fantasy of traveling abroad and meeting all sorts of people. But I left the only person I’ve ever loved, doing that. I think the fact both you and Emily picked the lovers card means something. Something you can’t ignore. And it made me realize what a fool I’ve been, dawdling around. I’m going back to her, to England. And really, I’ve you to thank. Seeing your love has rekindled mine as well.”

              Paige felt slightly overwhelmed, but shook the offered handshake. “I didn’t leave anything behind, did I?”

              “Nope.”

              She turned to leave, pausing at the flap. “What’s your name?”

              “Naomi Campbell.”

              Paige left the tent and joined Emily and Samara. “What did you forget?”

              “She thought a jacket was mine, but it wasn’t. Ready for the Ferris wheel?”

* * *

 

              “I’m not so sure about this, now. It’s a lot higher than it looked on the internet,” Paige mumbled, tilting her head back to look at the Ferris wheel.

              She wasn’t a fan of heights, but she would try for Emily. The Great Roue was the tallest traveling ferris wheel in the world, standing at five hundred and fifty feet. Paige was picturing one maybe a hundred feet in the air. She gulped, preparing to step out of line and just let Samara and Emily go. Before she could though, a voice rang out loudly, without any assistance of a microphone.

              “We’ve got one more two-person car open, folks. Who’s got a buddy?” the conductor yelled. His sharp, blue eyes scanned the line for candidates.

              Samara raised her hand, prompting Paige to grab her other arm and whisper, “What are you doing? There’s three of us.”

              “I can count, Paigey. You and Em can go; I don’t like heights, and I’ve been on one before. Plus, it’s your birthday!”

              “I don’t like heights either!”

              “You’ll have Emily.” The blond waved her hand and shouted, “I’ve got two right here!”

              “Excellent. Come forward and we’ll get you situated!” The man gesticulated with his hands wildly.

              Paige glared at Samara, but followed Emily without complaint when she was pulled along. “Thanks so much, Samara,” the tan girl called back.

              Soon, way too soon for her comfort, Paige found herself in front of a green spherical cart, complete with a door and windows that wrapped all the way around. Even the cabin was huge, at least three feet taller than her, and she was already five foot, two inches.

              It reminded her of the gondola ride she took with her family a few years ago for vacation. It was fancy, decorated with little doo-dads. Cirque du Carivale really didn’t skimp on anything. Instead of two seats, there were plush couches facing each other. She didn’t understand why this was a two-person cart; at least four more people could have fit.

              Before she could protest, one of the carnival employees ushered them inside and closed the door with a wave. “Enjoy, ladies!”

              They stood in the middle, staring at each other. Paige broke first, bursting into a fit of laughter. “Did you see the guy’s mustache?”

              “The conductor’s? Yeah, that thing was a creature of its own! Looked that that one cartoon character, uh Yosemite Sam.”

              The cart shuddered, sending the girls stumbling into one another. Paige suddenly had an armful of Emily and when she breathed in, her mind went hazy from the intensity of apples and cinnamon.

              “Whoa, sorry. Guess we better sit down, huh?”

              Paige was slow to reply. “Yeah. How long is this supposed to be? Does it go fast?”

              “About thirty minutes? I don’t think – oh crap, Paige! I’m sorry; I forgot you’re afraid of heights.”

              She shook her head violently. “No way, I’m not scared of anything! I’m just not fond of them. There’s a difference. Besides, I’m a knight, remember? We aren’t scared of something as silly as heights. Goblins, demons, maybe. But not heights.”

              Emily smirked, and damn if Paige wasn’t unexpectedly overcome with the desire to kiss her best friend. “Well, if you get not-scared, let me know and I’ll help distract you.”

              Paige gave a jerky nod and began looking around the cabin more thoroughly as the cart starting moving slowly. Due to the seat she chose, she was facing towards the inside of the wheel, her back to the outside. The lights on the tracks changed gradually, going through the rainbow and hitting every shade possible. Sometimes there were several colors at the same time. She felt like she could stare at them forever.

              “Oh, look!”

              Emily’s voice broke through her trance and she turned around, immediately regretting it. They were climbing higher and higher in the air, the cart automatically adjusting to they remained level. The sun had long since went down and the moon was shining brightly, casting a white glow on the people below them. She couldn’t see any stars because of the lights, but she had no doubt they were out.

              The carnival lights allowed her to see the people walking about, but when she looked past the boundary of the carnival, all she saw was black. The carnival was located in a rural part of Pennsylvania, a thirty minute drive from Philadelphia. There were mostly trees and open fields surrounding the area.

              When she looked up, she could see the bottom of a couple carts above her, though she couldn’t see the people. The cart continued rising and she was beginning to feel dizzy when she glanced down. However, she couldn’t find it in herself to move away from the window and stop looking. She threw a hand out behind her, mumbling Emily’s name weakly. In no time, her hand was encircled by warmth.

              “I’m here, Paige. Look at me. Come sit with me here, okay?”

              She followed mutely, focusing on chocolate eyes and the sound of Emily’s velvety voice. She leaned into the arm that wrapped around her and closed her eyes. Despite the scare, she felt completely at peace when Emily began humming one of their favorite tunes. Everything that was outside of the cart melted away and the only thing that mattered was her and Emily in this moment, together.

              Paige licked her lips and could feel the words threatening to slip through and infect the air, so she pursed her lips and clamped down on the desire. Instead, she opened her eyes and stared at her friend. She traced the hard jawline and cheekbones with her eyes. She ran her fingers lightly over Emily’s bicep, feeling the muscles contract just a hint. She breathed in and tasted apples. She listened to Emily’s slightly off-tune crooning.

              Minutes passed and they were higher than before; it felt like they were on top of the world. She could see the horizontal line separating the dark sky from the tree line. In the far distance, she could see downtown Philadelphia’s night lights.

              “Has your wish come true yet?”

              Paige shifted her head and met dark eyes looking down at her. “Your birthday wish,” Emily clarified.

              She shook her head and sat up properly. A hand came up and cupped the right side of her face. “What was it?” Emily whispered.

              Paige thought back to the moment in Emily’s room during the summer, after she found out about her learning how to fight. Except, this time it was worse. The car was smaller than the room. They were five hundred and fifty feet up in the air, not on solid ground. It was thirty degrees colder, but inside their car, it felt stifling. The only thing keeping her grounded, was the hand on her cheek.

              “Do you ever think about it?” Paige asked instead.

              Looking into those eyes, she knew. She knew that Emily knew exactly what she was asking. She braced for a denial, for the two of swords to actually be true. Emily was taking too long to reply, just regarding her quietly. Paige opened her to mouth to take back the question, as if she could reach out a hand and take the words back, put them deep in the recesses of herself.

              Emily nodded. It was the smallest movement of her head, but Paige saw it.

              “Then you know my wish. And you know that it hasn’t come true.” They were speaking so softly, so intimately, she thought.

              She felt the hand tighten minutely and because she knew Emily, knew all her quirks, her fears and loves, she knew what came next. She met her halfway.

              Paige’s fingers dug into the couch cushion – it really was strange how extravagant a simple Ferris wheel cart was – and her previously tensed muscles relaxed when soft lips touched hers. It was not at all like the three second kiss they had two years ago. Judging by the way Emily dictated the kiss – much like last time – Paige guessed that she’d had some more experience since then. Probably the only strange thing between them was that they tended _not_ to tell each other about their relationships with other people.

              It started when Emily came over a couple years ago from a “date” with Ben Coogan in fifth grade. It was after their own kiss. Emily had been practically glowing, going on and on about how fun the date was, how they went for ice cream and he let her play with his action figures. All very elementary school. Paige’s stomach had twisted uncomfortably as Emily continued talking, and she had eventually curled into herself and waited until Emily realized she wasn’t listening. “Can we talk about something else, Emmy?” she’d pleaded. Emily obliged and that was the last Paige had heard of Ben. Or any of Emily’s “dates.”

              Something slick and forceful pressed against her lips and brought her back from her head. When she parted her lips to take a breath, something licked her top lip. It reminded her of a kitten lapping at water from a faucet, except this tongue – there was no way it could be anything else – wasn’t rough. She reared back at the realization that _she was kissing Emily_. Those glorious hands lost their grip on her face and when she opened her eyes, she saw Emily’s own were severely half-lidded and her expression dazed.

              The sight caused goosebumps to erupt all over her body and without a second thought, she surged forward, gripping a slender waist tightly with both hands. This time, she was focused only on Emily and the feel of her, the smell of her, the sight of her, the taste of her, and the noises she made.

              Paige pushed any hesitation and worry to the back of her mind. She caught a bottom lip between her own and grazed her teeth over it, eliciting a gasp from Emily which she swallowed with another kiss. She ran her tongue over apple flavor chap-sticked lips the way Emily had done to her, and when those lips parted with a sigh, Paige slipped her tongue in. She didn’t have much experience kissing – a few sloppy kisses with Sean Ackard back in sixth grade that she pretended never happened – but she wasn’t stupid. She also had listened to Hanna talk way too much about her and Caleb, so she knew from second hand experience how to properly kiss. How to “get them real hot and bothered” as Hanna liked to put it.

              She kept the pressure against Emily’s lips light – she didn’t want to suffocate the girl! – and explored her mouth delicately. She brushed against Emily’s tongue and let out a whimper at the feeling. She couldn’t even muster the effort to describe it.

              The cart jerked twice and then stopped. The girls jolted apart and looked around. “What was that? Are we stuck?” Paige was having trouble orienting herself and coming back to earth.

              “No, I think they just paused it for a few minutes so people could get a picture or something. It’s supposed to happen. Don’t worry, Paige.”

              She turned back and faced her best friend, half-expecting for the remainder of the ride to be awkward. She wasn’t sure what to expect, really. Last time, Emily had made her swear secrecy. Honestly, it wasn’t like she was planning on shouting from the rooftops that she’d made out with her best friend. But still, some acknowledgement on both ends would be nice. “So…” she started, wincing at the lameness of it.

              “Come here, I wanna take a picture of us at the top of the highest Ferris wheel in the world!”

              Paige’s stomach churned, both at the reminder of just how high they were and the complete brush off of the kiss. She shuffled over next to Emily and turned so their backs were to the window and the view of the dark outside silhouetted them. Emily held her phone out in front of them and snapped a couple selfies. On the last one, Paige smiled per usual, but Emily turned and pressed her lips to the corner of her mouth.

              She could feel it, her face flushing. She turned and tangled a hand in dark locks, her thumb rubbing right below Emily’s hairline. “Em… What is this?”

              Emily paused, her breath hitting Paige’s own lips. “I’m ensuring that your wish comes true. Can that be enough for now?”

              Paige lowered her gaze, staring at the shag rug placed on the floor of the cart. Somewhere, in the very back of her mind, she knew the possibility of something actually working out between them was slim. She had yet to acknowledge whatever was going on with her – she only knew that she was in love with Emily – never mind the need to also figure out Emily’s preferences. As far as she knew, her best friend was straight with the tendency to bend the rules for her.

              Then Naomi’s voice echoed in her head: “ _Do not give up on Emily_.”

              She sighed quietly and nodded. _For_ now. Fingers found their way under her chin and lifted her head up. She sighed again when Emily leaned in and covered her lips with a hot breath. “You’re the most important person in my life, Paige. Never forget that.” Immediately after, warm lips covered hers and she placed her hands on solid hipbones and pulled Emily closer. They’d seen enough rom-coms and chick-flicks that they knew what would happen next.

              Paige pulled and Emily pushed, but it ended up not as smooth as in the movies. Paige’s upper body slid off the couch and she found herself looking up into mirthful eyes. Laughter bubbled out of both girls and she took Emily’s offered hand. “Let’s try that again,” Emily breathed into her ear.

              She leant back, long-ways on the couch and extended an arm, wrapping it around Emily when she carefully shuffled until she was on her hands and knees, hovering over Paige. She guided Emily down and they met in a slower pace of lips, tongues, and soft sounds of contentment. She broke away to lick her lips, enjoying the way Emily’s gaze dropped to them and followed the motion. “You’re beautiful, Paige.”

              She blushed at the compliment, sincerely replying, “so are you.” She brought them together again, but strayed from those kiss-swollen lips. Instead, she licked a path on the side of Emily’s neck, loving the shiver and soft moan it caused. She kissed the area experimentally, alternating between gentle nibbles and sucking. Hanna’s thorough explanations were coming in very handy, she decided. Emily weaved a hand into Paige’s hair and steered her back to her lips.

              Paige slid her hand down over the area she had just irritated and was surprised by how hot it felt. It matched the fire in her stomach. She brushed her nose against Emily’s and placed a couple kisses on it. She adored the very faint blush that appeared.

              Up until now, they’d kept things rather PG. But she felt Emily’s hand on her waist begin gliding up until it was too late to stop her and suddenly a delicious pressure was against her small breast. “Em,” she sighed.

              The hand wrapped gently around her chest squeezed slowly, carefully, and it made her stomach flip and her heart pound hard. She groaned and tugged Emily’s head down, kissing her fiercely. At that moment, she didn’t feel like they were twelve and thirteen. At that moment, they were two people who meant the world to each other. She felt exactly the way Charlie did in _The Perks of Being a Wallflower_. She felt infinite.

              The words were rising again, aggressive and insistent. She opened her mouth and let Emily take them. If they weren’t inside of her anymore, they couldn’t come out and ruin the moment, right?

              Instead, their cart lurched into motion and again, they were interrupted. The moment was gone and Paige felt the weight of everything fall on her shoulders again. Back to reality. This time, a sadness washed over her, and when she returned Emily’s smile, it was with a heavy heart. If she’d known turning thirteen would bring such somberness, she would’ve kept changing her birthdate until she could stay twelve forever.

              This time, there was no awkwardness. Emily wiped her thumb along Paige’s bottom lip. “Chapstick,” she gave as explanation. Paige nodded and turned to the window. She watched the ground grow closer, the people grow larger, and real life grow realer. She sighed and turned to Emily. “Thanks for making my wish come true,” she whispered.

              “Our secret, right?” the tan girl murmured.

              Paige nodded. She nodded and nodded and nodded.

* * *

 

              When Emily turned the bathroom light on to brush her teeth that night, she gasped and moved closer to the mirror. She turned her head and stared at the angry bruise on her neck. After freaking out for a few minutes and texting Paige ( **YOU GAVE ME A FREAKING HICKEY!! OMG!! >:(**), she thanked all that was holy that her parents hadn’t seen it when she came home.

 

              When Nick entered Paige’s room to check on her that night, he squinted hard at his daughter’s face. His loving smile turned down into a concerned frown when he noticed the dried tear tracks on her face. “Oh, Paige. What happened tonight?” His question went unanswered, only her quiet breathing filled the room. Paige had been strangely solemn when she came home, and Nick feared his brown hair would turn grey before long. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and retreated.

 

              When Samara called Nikki that night, she flopped onto the bed and opened with, “Paige _finally_ made a move. Emily had a hickey on her neck when they came off the Ferris wheel!” She laughed and asked how her girlfriend’s day was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: For the artwork that Emily painted, google “steve gildea planetary suite.” Got the idea from browsing my personal tumblr. Emily’s basically an art prodigy, aka let’s put that in the fiction part of fanfiction. Also with the cussing. Never been to a carnival, so imagination was used. No knowledge of how tarot cards actually work, but they seem so cool. “Roue” is French for wheel.


	17. Winter & January of 7th grade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I posted chapter 16 as well, so make sure you read that first!

              “I already knew that.”

              “What!” Paige exclaimed. She had just dropped a – supposedly – bomb on Samara, but the blond had just shrugged. “How?”

              “Paige. I’m assuming you know what a hickey is. You gave her one during your little Ferris wheel ride into dream land. It was _so_ obvious.”

              “Yeah, I know. Well, I kinda didn’t when I was doing it. I was kinda just following Hanna’s directions and… yeah.” Paige covered her face with her hands. “Ugh. She texted me that night and told me. She claims she got frostbite from pressing a frozen spoon to her neck.”

              “Did her parents find out?” Samara had her priorities – or Emily’s – in order.

              “Thankfully, no. I’m sure Emily would have come up from the dead and killed me.”

              “Yikes. So uh, what’s the deal between you two?”

              Paige sighed and took a sip of her hot chocolate. She was extremely grateful that Samara was home for winter break. It was such a relief to tell _somebody_ about the Ferris wheel event. “Heck if I know. We’ve kissed since then – a lot.” She tried not to blush, but to no avail. Just thinking about some of the moments between them had Paige pulling at her t-shirt collar. “She’s serious about keeping it a secret, which I guess I get. If I had Pam for a mom, I would probably too. I’m sure Wayne wouldn’t care, but Mrs. Fields…”

              Samara nodded. “Totally get that too. It just sucks. This is the kind of shit I hear about in high school or college, not middle school. It kinda goes to show how mature you guys are though I think. Like, I know college girls who would flip the hell out if we kissed just once. Honestly, I’m having a hard time picturing Emily agreeing to keep doing it.”

              Paige nodded, stirring her drink with her finger. “I think I’m gay. Or at least Emily-sexual.”

              The blond laughed. “Oh god, I’m sorry. It’s just that Emily-sexual is really funny. I’m serious now. Okay, so you might be gay. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that and admitting to yourself and _me_ is a really big step. How do you feel?”

              “You’re practicing your therapy stuff on me right now, aren’t you?” Paige rolled her eyes at the nod, but entertained Samara. “I feel okay. Relieved, more than anything. Not too worried that my big, bad secret will come out. Har, har.”

              “So if I were to suggest telling your dad who just pulled into the driveway?”

              Paige jumped to her feet, mindful of the hot chocolate. “Crap. I haven’t thought that far ahead.”

              “Hey, take it easy. That’s fine. It’s all at your own pace. I’m not pushing you to do anything. I just have a very strong feeling that Nick will be completely supportive of you. Liz too, for that matter. They love you so much, Paige, and only want you to be happy. And so do I. I’ll be with you the whole way if you ever choose to embark on that journey.” The blond placed both hands on Paige’s shoulders. “It’s seriously a big deal you told me and I’m so proud of you. You’re practically my little sister I never had and I love you so much. Think it over, okay? I gotta run; early dinner with my folks. Text me later, okay?”

              With a quick kiss to Paige’s temple, Samara walked out the door. Paige heard her greet her dad on her way out. “Hey, Nick. I’ll be over on Wednesday for dinner. I’m bringing pumpkin pie, so plan accordingly!”

              The front door shut and Paige jumped when he yelled up the stairs. “Paigey, I’m home! I’ll be in the living room if you want to join your dear old dad.”

              Her heart thudded loudly and she swore. She cursed her situation. She cursed that she might be gay. She cursed Samara for even putting the idea of telling Nick in her head. The one thing she didn’t curse was her love for Emily. She could never.

              Taking a deep breath, she walked downstairs and settled on the loveseat, feet tucked underneath her. “Dad?”

              Nick hummed, watching the Lakers gain possession of the ball and take it down the court. She studied him, picked out the changes that had gradually appeared over time. His brown hair, while very much luscious and thick, had a few grey strands here and there. When he smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkled. Even when he wasn’t furrowing his brow, there were a few lines on his forehead. Despite those, he was still the same loving, caring, and dependable dad she knew from day one.

              For those same reasons, she needed to figure a way not to just drop the bomb on him. Ease him into it. She didn’t answer, just watched the game with him for several minutes. Not really watching, but thinking. Kobe Bryant scored six points in five minutes.

              “I have a crush on someone.”

              Nick muted the game and turned to her. “Oh?” He had a hint of a smile, raising her red flags. Weren’t dads supposed to ward their daughters away from potential dating material until the girls were at least twenty?

              “Yeah. But I’m scared you won’t approve.”

              His eyebrows raised, clearly she had surprised him. “Why would I not approve? Are they troublemakers? Ruffians? You can handle that now, with Wayne’s teaching. Or is it the opposite? Are they wimps and not at all worthy of my Paigey?”

              She narrowed her eyes, staring hard into his blue eyes. Something about his wording threw her off. Samara had told her about pronoun usage and its importance with the LGBT community a while back. Why was Nick purposefully not using the he/him pronouns? Did he know already? She choked up, uncertain of what to say.

              “Honey? Are you alright?” His eyebrows knitted together and he moved to stand up.

              “It’s Em,” she blurted. Her breath caught in her throat and she waited, for him to freak out or say something, anything. A minute passed and still, he remained silent, just regarding her thoughtfully.

              With a smile, he asked, “What about Emmy?”

              He was making her say it. The jerk. Gritting her teeth, Paige enunciated her words, somewhat bolstered by his grin. “I have a crush on Emily Fields.” While it was true, it was better not to drop the _other_ bomb that she was in love with her best friend.

              Nick guffawed, leaning back into the couch. He crossed one leg over his thigh and placed his hands behind his head.   “Of course you do, Paigey. Ever since you came home at the end of first grade and said you were Emily’s knight in shining armor. I could see it then, in your eyes.”

              Of course he could. She wasn’t sure what infuriated her more; the fact that he knew or the fact that she had been so obvious about it. “So, you’re not mad? Or grossed out? Or disappointed?”

              He shook his head so hard she feared it might detach from his body. “Of course not, Paigey. I love you more than the world itself and I only want the best for you. I want you to be happy and if liking Emily does that to you, then I’m happy. I’m so proud of you; I’m not sure I tell you it enough. Taking initiative and learning how to fight – though it _was_ for Emily – working hard in school and sports, being a loving daughter and sometimes bratty teenager. There’s nothing I would change about you.”

              She could feel tears in her eyes and willed them not to fall. Scrambling out of her seat, she tackled him and buried her face into his shoulder. “I love you so much, dad.”

              He patted her back and she wiped at the bottom of her eyes. “Should I um, tell mom?” Her stomach rumbled with nerves, faced with the prospect of having to tell someone else. She fidgeted with her bracelet.

              Nick watched her and smiled kindly. “Nah, kiddo. You look like you’re gonna faint. Take a few days, let it all sink in and when you’re ready, tell her. Remember, your mom and I love you so much and only want you to be happy.”

              She ducked her head, smiling. “I am happy.”

              She ignored the voice in her head that told her she’d be happier if Emily would do something other than just kiss her senseless when they were alone.

* * *

**Liz’s POV**

 

              “ _Hello Mrs. McCullers. It’s about two-thirty in the afternoon on January sixth. This is Sarah from the Philadelphia Genetics Center. We’re calling to inform you that we have the results from your test. Doctor Greene asks that you come in at your earliest convenience to discuss the results. You can reach us at 123-456-7890. Thank you, and have a good day._ ”

              She’d received the voicemail last week and just thinking about it churned her stomach. She’d been experiencing discomfort in her abdominal and pelvis area, constipation, and frequently needing to use the restroom. Also, whenever she and Nick had alone time and “got it on” as the young people put it these days, it was extremely painful. Looking up her symptoms was no help (she was almost positive that she was _not_ dying, pregnant, or had chest acne), so she contacted her doctor who suggested in a rather somber tone that she get a genetic test to check for inherited health issues.

              So, Liz had contacted Philadelphia Genetics Center and met with Dr. Cynthia Greene. She’d had blood drawn, filled out an extensive medical history questionnaire, and had a thorough physical done. Despite suffering through her symptoms for almost four months, she was pretty sure she had nothing to worry about. She was forty-two, fit, and healthy. However, the voicemail changed things and she could feel her heart rate increasing as she drove to the office.

              A large, warm hand squeezed hers and she glanced briefly at Nick, who was smiling softly at her. Being together for eighteen years meant she knew by the wrinkling of his nose that he was interested in something, when he offered a crooked grin, he thought himself rather charming and “hot shit.” So, she was comforted by his smile. It was the one that said “no matter what, I’m here with you every step of the way” and “we’ll get through this, _together_.”

              She parked and they walked up two flights of stairs and into the office, a bell chimed to announce their entry. She approached the receptionist’s desk and signed in, joining Nick in the waiting area. At least seven other people were also seated, mostly her age or younger. She wondered if they were here out of curiosity or something more serious.

              They sat in silence for the majority of the waiting time; only murmuring quiet reassurances to each other when one – usually Liz – had a shiver of nervousness run through her.

              “Mrs. McCullers?”

              She looked to the door and saw a nurse holding a file. Together, she and Nick followed the man down a hall, around a corner, and halfway down another hall before turning into an office. Dr. Greene was seated behind her mahogany desk and reading over some papers. The red-head looked up when they entered and smiled. “Thank you, Cody.”

              The man left and closed the door behind him. Dr. Greene rounded her desk and held out her hand. “Mr. and Mrs. McCullers, good to see you again. Thank you for coming in.”

              Liz liked her; she was kind, compassionate, and caring, while also maintaining her professionalism. She didn’t beat around the bush and offered her best advice as if she were in her patients’ situation.

              “Thank you, Dr. Greene.” They both took a seat.

              “How are you feeling? Have your symptoms lessened or worsened?”

              Liz nodded, “Yes, they’ve increased a little. My pelvic and abdomen area hurt more than they did last week.”

              The doctor hummed and took a note of it. “Fast-moving, then. Not surprising,” she mumbled. Putting her pen down and resting her glasses on the desk, she said, “Now, I’ll get right to the juicy stuff. Liz, we ran your blood and urine sample through our computers, searching both for specific possible conditions as well as just to see what we were dealing with. Given your symptoms, we were looking for IBS or irritable bowel syndrome, heartburn, early satiety, depression, and vaginal infection mainly. We did cross-analyze for others as well.

              “However, when we checked your genes and coding, we noticed a mutation that is unique to ovarian cancer.”

              Liz’s heart skipped a beat. The last thing she had ever expected to hear was cancer. Almost simultaneously, she and Nick’s hand increased the grip on each other. She kept her gaze on Dr. Greene, but could feel his on her.

              She couldn’t find any words to speak, and the doctor seemed to realize that because she continued talking. “We ran our tests again to make sure. Often when dealing with ovarian cancer, some of the symptoms of it are similar to other benign conditions. We needed to make sure that we were correct in ruling them out…”

              Liz tuned the woman out. It was like in the movies when bad news is delivered and the main character’s hearing just fades out until they just see the person’s mouth moving. Except, the movies failed to include the almost deafening ringing in her ears until it became too much and she tore her hand out of Nick’s grasp and covered her ears. Her eyes clenched shut and she didn’t know she’d been holding her breath until she inhaled deeply and a choked sob escaped. She was vaguely aware of her husband’s hand rubbing her shoulders and when she peeked through tear-filled eyes, she saw he pinching the bridge of his nose and tears were running down his cheeks.

              Finally, she turned into him and they offered each other the comfort they so desperately desired. She didn’t hold back on crying, heaving great gulps of air and exhaling them along with her low cries. She was in shock and the word _cancer_ kept echoing in her mind as if she’d shouted it in a cavern.

              Liz barely registered Dr. Greene sliding a card towards them and coming around her desk to grasp her hands. Her hearing suddenly returned at the touch and she caught the tail end of the red-head’s words. “…go see him. He’s very well qualified and I refer most of my patients to him. During the next part of your journey – however you decide to continue – it’s helpful to have someone to talk with. Someone who is unjudging and willing to listen to whatever you have to say. A voice of reason, if you will.”

              She rose and allowed them some privacy. Liz held the card in shaking hands and read it. _Dr. Steven Goshen_.

* * *

**Liz’s POV**

 

              His hand was cool to the touch, she noticed when she shook it. He gestured for her to take a seat on any of the available options – a couch, a chair, a bean bag, a college-styled sphere chair, a rug, or a stereotypical lounger. The room – office? – was large and spacious with a bookcase behind his desk and a TV with some sort of gaming system hooked up. He noticed her looking and chucked. “I’ve found that when working with the younger patients, having them feel comfortable is important, even if it means letting them play Xbox.”

              She chose the couch and raised her eyebrows when he settled on the bean bag. “So, Mrs. McCullers-”

              “Liz, please.”

              “Alright, Liz. Please call me Steve, then. Liz, Dr. Greene only informed me that she referred another one of her patient to me. I have no other information regarding why you’re here other than what you put down.”

              She had only written “health” as the reason for coming to talk with him. He leaned back in the bag chair and put his file and pen to the side. “Tell me something about yourself. It can be simple such as your favorite color, or serious, such as why you’re here. We have an hour and there’s no rush. We’ll take this at your own pace.”

              Liz was silent for a long time. After talking with Nick several times about seeing a therapist and bouncing back and forth as to whether or not to do it, she made the call. It had been three days since receiving the news that she most likely had ovarian cancer. It had been one day since receiving the news that she _did_ have ovarian cancer and that it was very advanced; stage 3B which had a fifty-two percent survival rate.

              She looked around the room and twisted her wedding ring around. There were so many things she needed to do. She hadn’t even told her parents yet. She felt dizzy at just the idea of telling Paige.

              “I have a thirteen year old daughter who is the love of my life, along with my husband.”

              Steve smiled softly. “I have a seven year old.” He chuckled at her surprise. “Yes, I know what you’re thinking. How does a fifty-eight year old man have such a young son? My second wife is much younger than me, but our love is as real as it gets. My first wife died of cancer.”

              Her stomach clenched at the word, reminding her harshly of the reason she was here.

              “I have stage 3B ovarian cancer, and I’m scared and worried. Scared of what’s to come, what I have to do, what my options are, and the possibility of not surviving. I’m worried about my husband, Paige, my friends. About how it’ll affect them. This is the worst thing to ever happen to Paige; she has such a bright future ahead of her and I tears me apart that I might not be able to see her graduate high school, or walk down the aisle, or have her first child.” She wiped at the tears that had begun to leak down her face.

              Steve’s expression was neutral, but the corners of his mouth twitched down. “Start keeping a journal. Write anything and everything in it. Your fears, moments of happiness, memories, ideas, thoughts, whatever. When Carol died, I saw a therapist too. He told me to write in a journal and I will swear by it that it helped me.”

              Liz hated the idea of journals. She never found the time to write in one, always forgot to write in it, or had no interest in the concept. However, his words gave her pause. “Who do I write it to? Dear Diary?” She wrinkled her nose at the idea.

              “I’ll leave that up to you.”

* * *

 

              When she sat at her desk at home that evening, she opened the bottom drawer and pulled out a moleskin notebook. The pages were crisp and sharp, completely brand new. Picking up her black pen, she put the date and began writing. “ _Dear Paige_ …”

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N2: Did a little research for the genetics stuff, but not too much; made some up. Thanks to portoftheartistasayoungc for support and being so awesome. Also, shout out to Sparks80 for volunteering to beta this shit. The section with Liz is a one-time thing; just needed a way to tell that part. I love hearing you guys’ comments; keep it up if you wanna. Thanks for reading, please share! xoxo


	18. Last day of 7th grade

              “Paige, are you even listening to me?”

              She jumped when a hand waved in front of her face, just brushing her nose. She scowled and met Hanna’s suspicious gaze. “ _Yes_ , Hanna. You and Caleb had the best date ever, even though his mom was late picking you guys up from the movies. Which, by the way, shouldn’t even make dates count if the parents have to drive you around.”

              “Hey, what else is he supposed to do? Carry me on his bike handlebars?”

              “It’s not that difficult. Emily and I do it all the time.”

              The blond smirked, “I bet you two do.”

              “What’s that supposed to mean?” Paige tried her best to keep her voice level and any defensiveness out. Judging by her friend’s growing grin, she failed.

              “Tell me you don’t have a crush on Emily Fields.”

              “I don’t have a crush on Emily Fields.” Technically, it was true. Didn’t crossing the line into love mean she didn’t have a crush on her? Plus, she was only doing what Hanna told her to do.

              Someone sat down at their lunch table, loudly. “So then why were you staring at her across the cafeteria?” It was Spencer, of course.

              “I was just wondering why she decided to ditch us for him.”

              “He has a name, Paige. It’s Ben Coogan.”

              “Yes, I know. We’ve only been in the same class for seven years, Spencer, thank you.”

              “I don’t know what’s crawled up your butt, but tone down the sass. Besides, it’s kind of common knowledge that they’re low-key dating.”

              Paige snapped the piece of celery she’d been using to push grapes around her plate. “No, they’re not.”

              “Sorry to burst whatever best friend bubble you have, but they kinda are. He took her out to-”

              “You mean his mom took them out.”

              Hanna had an odd look on her face and Paige didn’t like it. She turned away and resumed watching Emily flirt – _talk_ – with Ben. Her best friend wouldn’t keep something like that from her, would she? Then again, they did have a weird don’t-talk-about-relationship-stuff thing going on.

              She shook her head to try and physically force the thought out. Just thinking about Emily and Ben together unsettled Paige’s stomach. She knew she had no right to Emily, that they weren’t anything beyond simple fooling around. She knew that. But it did nothing to assuage the uncomfortable pit settled in her stomach. It wasn’t for lack of trying; sometimes when they were alone, Paige would cast her sad eyes on Emily and ask what they were doing. Emily would deflect, change the subject, or say “just practicing for when we get older.”

              She caught Emily’s eye, saw the flash of guilt and panic before it disappeared, covered up by a friendly wave. Paige turned away. She grabbed her backpack and dumped the remainder of her food in the trash. She heard her two friends’ shouts and felt Emily’s eyes staring at the back of her head as she walked through the doors and down the hallway. She was tired of months of being Emily’s little experiment. Except whenever she thought about cutting things off, her chest hurt and the idea of never being able to have Emily that way in the smallest amount made her dizzy.

              Paige waited in her history classroom until the lunch bell rang. She wasn’t sure why she felt so moody. Her period was probably about to start; her mom had suggested it when she first started it. When her classmates started drifting through the door, her phone buzzed. It was from her dad. **Hey, kiddo. Unfortunately, Em can’t come over after school today. Maybe later. Will explain at home, love you.**

              She frowned. While she may not be in the mood to see Emily now, they always hung out after school on the weekends, especially today since it was the last day of school. She texted back, **Everything ok?**

              When Mr. Lawson entered the room, she put her phone away slowly, waiting for Nick to reply. He didn’t disappoint. **We’ll talk later. Pay attention in class, and remember, no Emily.**

              Mr. Lawson started talking about the American Civil War and Paige thought about how stupid the Americans were one hundred and fifty years ago. She also wondered by Mr. Lawson was subjecting them to actually learning something on the last day instead of playing games or just cancelling class. Seems like the stupidity was still around.

* * *

 

              She joined the rest of her ecstatic classmates in running through the halls and throwing their years’ worth of notes and tests and quizzes into the air. It was all very middle school cliché-ish, but she didn’t care. Seventh grade was over and summer had officially started. She passed Noel in the hallway, ignoring his deep glare of hatred. She passed Alison and smirked when the blond sniffed at her, tossing her nose in the air. Nothing could dampen her mood. Any irritation towards Emily with the whole Ben thing was gone. Once again, she’d kicked it all under the rug.

              As she opened her locker and emptied its contents into her backpack, she paused. Unlike Hanna or Emily, Paige didn’t have much in her locker other than books. Three photos were taped on the inside of the door.

              One was of the field hockey team after a huge win. She remembered the adrenaline rush and pure happiness she felt, her arm wrapped loosely around Spencer’s waist. She remembered the playful punch Spencer gave her in the shoulder after with a not-so-playful warning to “never touch me again, McCullers or you die.” She was pretty sure Spencer was joking. She didn’t die when she high-fived the girl after an impressive shot into the goal.

              The second was of the swimming team goofing off in the pool. Varsity this time, under the talented coaching of Coach Fulton. Paige looked at the moment frozen in time. She was in the shallow end, Emily perched on her shoulders. They were playing chicken with four other teammates. She remembered the feel of smooth and muscular thighs under her fingertips and clenched her fist at the thought.

              The last picture was of her and Emily, of course. Samara had taken it with her phone at the carnival on her birthday. It had been right after the Ferris wheel ride and Paige was glad it’d been mostly dark, with only the lights from the wheel to cast a glow on them. Her face had been positively flushed when the picture was taken, her arm wrapped firmly (not at all possessively, no) around Emily’s lower back. Her smile was the most genuine ever – how could it not be after what happened during the ride? Emily was laughing at something Samara had surely said, her mouth open and eyes scrunched slightly.

              Paige was brought out of her memories by her phone. **Want to say bye to Coach with me?**

              She carefully pried the pictures off the metal and stuffed them between the pages of her current book, _Flowers for Algernon_. She closed the door quietly and for some reason, she wasn’t surprised to see Emily down the hall and leaning casually against the wall. Students were still littering the hallway, passing in and out of her line of sight. She adjusted her backpack and set off slowly towards Emily, maintaining eye contact the whole time.

              “You alright?”

              Paige nodded and followed Emily to the girls’ locker room. It was empty of course, but Fulton would surely still be around. She frowned when Emily dropped her stuff on a bench and her breath caught when she found herself pressed against the floor-length lockers. “Em? What about coach?”

              “I lied. She’s gone already. I just wanted to do this…”

              Silken lips molded against Paige’s and her eyes fluttered shut on their own accord. Her hands betrayed her; one tangled itself in the hair at the base of Emily’s hair and the other slipped under Emily’s shirt, sliding upwards until she was firmly cupping a bra-clad breast. This wasn’t unusual for them. In the past months since Paige’s birthday, they’d been messing around. Every few encounters, they’d advance into deeper territory, go a little further, round another base.

              As she moaned into her best friend’s mouth – Emily knew almost all of her triggers – she remembered where they were. “Wait, what if someone comes in?”

              Emily licked her lips, automatically causing Paige’s gaze to follow the motion. “They won’t.” And then a hand palmed her ass and Paige forgot whatever was on the tip of her tongue.

              She banged her elbow on the hard metal as she lifted Emily’s shirt up and over her head. Delicious tan skin laid mostly bare to her, breasts covered by a plain black bra. Paige forcefully switched their positions, grunting an apology when Emily’s back collided harshly against the lockers. She muffled Emily’s groan with her mouth – never overwhelming her though – and slowed the paced slightly.

              They’d both become very adept at kissing and really, everything about Emily should be illegal. From the way Emily bit down on her lip to the quiet whimpers she sometimes couldn’t contain. From the way she explored Paige’s mouth so thoroughly to the way she dragged her nails down Paige’s neck and back, causing goosebumps to _erupt_ all over her body.

              Paige, always competitive, did her best to outdo Emily, but sometimes there was no way she could control the way her body reacted. There was nothing she could do to prevent the heat that coiled like a snake in her stomach when she ran her hands over Emily’s gorgeous and tight body. School and her mom gave her the sex-ed talk, but never mentioned the accelerated heart rate, the burning need for _something_ that she couldn’t identify. She filed it away as a question for Samara when Emily slipped a hand behind her neck and guided her down a little.

              This was not new. Paige pressed kisses to the slight swell of Emily’s chest – just above the bra – while hands massaged her scalp and occasional sighs escaped Emily. A particularly hard tug on her hair sparked the fire in her stomach and she eagerly pushed the bra up, exposing dusky nipples that grew hard as she watched. The air conditioning must be on in the locker room.

              Paige covered the left nipple with her mouth, enveloping it in warmth and when Emily arched her chest towards her – god, she would never get tired of that – she sneaked the hand not groping the right breast around and pressed against Emily’s lower back so they were flush together. Being the same height had its advantages, she decided.

              Whirling the tip of her tongue around the nipple, Paige rolled the other between her index finger and thumb. She broke contact briefly – and ignored the whine at the loss – and looked at Emily. The sight wasn’t that uncommon, seen enough that it was permanently branded on the backs of Paige’s eyelids. Both of Emily’s hands were knotted in Paige’s hair, those chocolate brown eyes opened just barely and kiss-swollen lips parted as she breathed heavily. “You are _so_ good at that, Paige.”

              She smirked and returned to her original spot, dragging the broad width of her tongue over the already slick nipple. Despite the location and circumstances, she’d never felt closer and more _intimate_ with Emily than now. She understood why the romance movies never showed what really went on between the main characters; it was so personal.

              Struck by an intense feeling – somewhere between the very real love she had for Emily and sadness that they may never have a chance together – Paige drifted just below the nipple and placed deeper and longer kisses. She spied a couple faint dark spots, courtesy of her from last time. Covering one with her mouth, she sucked firmly. Emily’s low moan washed over her and the hands in her hair tightened their grip. Paige knew that she was allowed the hickeys only because Emily knew how much their “relationship” (or lack thereof) bothered Paige. Emily _knew_ that Paige needed and wanted to label them and it hurt her every time Emily refused. So, she allowed the hickeys and when Paige looked at them, she couldn’t help but feel the satisfaction was bittersweet.

              Hands on Paige’s shoulders pushed her backwards until she found herself seated on one of the locker room benches. She looked up and licked her lips at the sight. Emily slowly walked towards her – reminding her so much of a big cat (the leopard or tiger kind) stalking its prey – and in one graceful motion straddled her lap. Paige’s hands instantly landed on her friend’s rear and gripped it. Emily cupped Paige’s face, warm hands on either side, and brought their lips together in such a sensual way that when Paige had to focus on not letting a few choice words slip. She’d watched enough rom-coms to know that no good would come of it.

              She slid her hands down around Emily’s ass, fingers digging into the inside of her thighs. Emily’s gasp filled the locker room. Just as Paige was about to slide her hands up more, closer to the source of unbelievable heat, one of their phones went off.

              It was Paige’s and she nudged Emily. It took a few seconds and she was certain her phone would go to voicemail, but she reached it in time. “Hey, dad.” Her voice was breathy and she hoped to god that he wouldn’t ask questions.

              “Kiddo. Just wondering where you are. School let out half an hour ago.”

              Crap. She glanced at Emily who was putting her bra and shirt back on. “Sorry, I was just making sure I got everything and went to the locker rooms and wanted to say bye to coach.”

              “No worries. But head home soon, okay?”

              “’Kay.”

              She hung up and exhaled deeply. Tan hands wrapped around her waist and she shivered when Emily spoke in her ear. “Gotta go home?”

              She nodded. As usual, she felt the urge to talk about what they just did, but saving herself from the inevitable disappointment, she instead took Emily’s hand and gathered her backpack. When they were at the locker room door, Emily tugged her gently and pulled her into kiss. “Ride on the handles?”

              Paige nodded and added, “But I’ll drop you off at your house first. My parents want to talk to me about something and said you can come over later.”

              Emily bit her lip and smiled. “Movie night?”

              “Yeah. _Bride Wars_?”

              “You read my mind.”

              They exited the room and Paige counted it a small victory when Emily didn’t drop her hand.

* * *

 

              “I’m home!” Paige dropped her house key into the bowl by the front door. She ran upstairs and deposited her backpack beside her bed. She peered into her parent’s room, but it was empty. “Mom? Dad?”

              “We’re in the living room!”

              Paige followed the voice downstairs and found them cuddling on the sofa, watching _Downton Abbey_. She smiled fondly at them; she knew they had a great marriage, but it was sweet to actually _see_ them expressing mild PDA. Emphasis on mild. She made a quick stop by the fridge and grabbed an apple. After washing it, she returned to the living room and joined her parents, draping herself over the side of loveseat.

              “How was the last day of school?” Liz asked.

              Paige swallowed her bite of the apple and replied, “Pretty good. Mr. Lawson actually talked like we weren’t about to go on summer break.”

              “Did you say bye to all your friends?”

              “Dad, it’s not like I’m dropping off the face of the earth.” Cue perfect eye roll. “I’m going to see Hanna and Spencer on Thursday. Not sure what we’re going to do, but Hanna mentioned inviting Caleb, so I’m sure it’ll be fun.”

              “And Emily?”

              “She’s coming over later, but I’m all yours now.” She watched her parents carefully. It wasn’t often that they asked to have a sit down conversation with her. “So, what is it that you wanted to talk about?”

              Paige’s warning bells started ringing when they disentangled from their little love nest and sat up properly. “Last summer, I started having some symptoms. Abdominal pain, cramps, frequent needing to use the bathroom. They were very mild back then, but over time, it increased. I had gone to the doctor, but he just wrote it off as early menopause or something else. During the fall, I had a second opinion and he suggested I go to a genetics center.”

              “What’s that?” Paige was _not_ liking how long it was taking Liz to get to the freakin’ point.

              “It’s a specialized hospital of sorts that looks at genes and with family history, can tell a more detailed and narrowed list of possible diseases.”

              Paige nodded, taking another bite of her apple.

              “We got the results in January and we found that I have the mutation for ovarian cancer. We immediately started looking for treatments. However, because I waited a while, I’m in stage 3b. It’s very advanced and very serious. I’ve been seeing one doctor at a cancer center in Philly, but she isn’t really working. So, your dad and I have-”

              “Wait. Can we pause for a sec?” Paige held up a hand. “You have _cancer_ , which you just dropped on me like a bomb. Mom, you’ve known for like four months, and you’re just telling me this now?” She looked to her dad, not sure what she was hoping to hear.

              Liz shifted over on the couch and beckoned for Paige to join. She obliged and leaned heavily into the arm around her. She didn’t know of anyone personally who had ever had cancer of any sort, but she knew about it, of course. The fact that her own mom was diagnosed with it tugged at something deep inside her. She closed her eyes as an intense feeling of sadness drifted from her chest upwards, forcing tears to well up and when she blinked, they spilled over.

              “I’m sorry, honey. I just didn’t know how to tell you and I promised to tell you a week after I found out. But a week turned into a month and then before I knew it, it was the summer.”

              Paige sighed, her anger gone and replaced by sorrow. She knew enough about cancer to know that the survival rate depended on the various types and stages. She was afraid to ask, but did it anyway. “Mom?”

              Liz seemed to know because she looked to Nick, for support, Paige thought. “Like I said, my kind is very advanced. However, I started treatment when I first learned about it. Right now, I’m on hormone pills that target the small tumors, and every three weeks I go to the doctor’s for radiation therapy.”

              “Chemo?”

              “We haven’t started that yet. Since starting the treatments, there’s been a slight halt in the advancement of the cancer. I won’t lie to you though. It’s spread a lot and there’s a high chance that even with the medicine, it won’t be enough.”

              “Isn’t there anything more you can do or take?” Paige asked, her voice cracking. Nick placed a heavy hand on her shoulder, grounding her.

              “That’s the other thing we wanted to talk about, kiddo,” he cut in. “There _are_ other options that we haven’t explore yet. The thing is, the center in Philly doesn’t have the doctors or the equipment for them. Even though it’s big, there are bigger and better and more advanced ones.”

              Paige wiped at her eyes and looked at Nick warily. “What are you saying?”

              He squeezed her shoulder and Paige watched as he reached behind to hold her mom’s hand. As if he was drawing courage from the touch. “Uncle Conner in California has some really good connections that he’s given us. We’ve found one of the top cancer centers in America. We’ve spoken with the doctor – Doctor Bowman – via skype and she’s agreed to take on our case.”

              “So, mom’s new doctor is out in California? Okay… Will she just fly out every other week for treatment?”

              Liz picked up where Nick left off. “Not exactly. I’ll be undergoing target therapy and probably chemo. I won’t really be up for the constant travelling. We wouldn’t do this if it wasn’t the best option. We’ve tried looking at other doctors and facilities that were closer, but-”

              Paige shook her head. She knew _exactly_ what was about to come out of her mom’s mouth and she absolutely refused to believe it. She felt selfish because _yes_ she wanted Liz to get the best care and treatment possible, but at the same time, she didn’t want to freaking _move_ across the country. She jumped up from the couch and paced in front of her parents. “I _know_ you aren’t suggesting that we move to California. That would just be like, insane!”

              “Paige, I’m sorry. But we’ve already started making arrangements,” Nick said.

              She fixed him with a glare. “What if I stayed here? I lived with Emily until mom got better? Or Hanna? Or even Spencer? I’m sure there’s some way-”

              “Paige, stop. You’re coming with us to California. We’re a family and we’re not splitting up. Your mother has a long road ahead of her and she needs us to be there for her. Are you really being this… petty? Selfish? We raised you better.”

              It was the angriest Paige had ever seen her father. His brow was set low and she could see his jaw twitching. She stared, wide-eyed at him and let his words sink in. She covered her face with her hands as a sob rose in her chest. “God, I’m so sorry.” She sat down again. “I’m just so…”

              Her parents gathered her into their arms and Liz murmured sadly, “Oh, Paige. It’s okay, sweetie. I know this is a lot. But we’ll get through it together.”

              Paige only held onto Liz tighter.

* * *

 

              The next evening, Paige followed Liz upstairs while Nick remained in the living room watching a baseball game. Her phone buzzed as she was ascending the stairs. It was from Emily. **Sucked watching _Glee_ without you yesterday. Making fun of Rachel wasn’t the same.**

              A smile tugged at her mouth. She’d texted Emily yesterday, asking to cancel their plans. After everything that had happened, she’d been too exhausted to do anything other than lay in her bed and think and sleep. She knew that she’d have to tell Emily soon though. Sending a frowny-emoji, she stopped by her room and left her phone on her bed. She knocked on the open door of her parents’ room and smiled softly at Liz. “Hey, ma.”

              “Hi, honey.” The woman patted the bed. “Come sit?”

              Paige sat, running her hands over the comforter. She spied the worn book on the nightstand. “What’s that?”

              Liz followed her gaze and surprised Paige by rubbing running her hand through her hair, twice. It was a sign that her mom was nervous about something. “Oh. It’s a journal.” Liz chuckled sheepishly, “I’ve been seeing a therapist off and on just to talk about things and he mentioned I keep one. That’s all.”

              “That’s… good, I guess. I have some questions, but first, I do want to apologize again for how I reacted.”

              “Like I said yesterday, it’s okay. You’re very mature for your age though, and I really appreciate how well you’re handling it.”

              Paige sighed and laid on her back. “I wouldn’t say I’m handling it well, exactly. Can I be honest with you?”

              “Always.”

              “I’m feeling so much, that it’s hard for me to really do anything other than think. I’m sad of course, because you have _cancer_. It’s the worst thing that could ever happen. Also, I’m sad because I don’t want to leave; I was born and raised here. This is my home.” She paused to take a breath; she was getting worked up _again_. “I’m angry at the world for putting us in this situation. Angry that you have cancer – something that is totally out of your control – and that to get better, we have to move to California. I’m scared because what’s going to happen when we’re there?” Paige turned her head to gaze at Liz, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes.

              “Trust me: what you’re feeling, I’m feeling double. Your dad and I talked and considered so many options. We don’t want to leave either.” Liz placed a warm hand on Paige’s arm.

              “So, where are we living? I’ll have to go to school, right? New kid, just like in the movies.”

              “Well, the city is called Long Beach. It’s about thirty minutes from Los Angeles. You’ll be going to a public middle school. Since Long Beach is a big city – much different than Rosewood – there are going to be a lot of kids in your grade. I think your class has around seven hundred students.”

              Paige jolted upright. “Seven hundred? What the… Definitely not Rosewood.” She leaned back and rolled over, draping her arm around Liz’s legs, thinking.

              “Have you told Emily yet?” the woman asked, running her fingers through Paige’s hair.

              Paige shook her head, “Not yet. I don’t know how or what to say. I’m leaving her. My best friend. She’ll probably be mad at me, and I don’t know what I’m going to do without her.” Her voice breaks and she presses her face into the comforter, letting it soak her tears.

              “Emily could never be mad at you, sweetheart. You two have the strongest relationship I’ve ever seen. She’s a smart and understand girl; she’ll know that it can’t be helped.”

              She wanted to sob at her mom’s words. Relationship, she scoffed in her mind. She wishes, but no. “Mom?”

              “Yes?”

              Paige turned her face towards Liz and said, “I’ve got a crush on her.”

              “Oh, Paige. I know you do. You have from the moment you two became friends.”

              “What is it with you and dad knowing these things before I do?”

              Liz feigned insult, “You told your dad before me? I thought us girls stuck together and told each other everything!”

              Paige’s heart rate slowed to normal and she smiled. “We do. I’m just a daddy’s girl _and_ a mother’s angel.”

              “I don’t know about angel,” Liz teased.

              “So you’re really okay with this?”

              “What part – you liking Emily or you liking a girl?”

              “Well, both.”

              “I just want you to be happy and I don’t care who makes you feel that. Emily, Joe Bob, whoever. I love you no matter what and nothing can change that. Except maybe if you were covered with warts.”

              Paige nudged her mom in protest. “I’m glad I’m not, then.” She slid off the bed and rounded it. Hugging Liz tightly, she knew how fortunate she was and pressed a kiss to the woman’s cheek. “Night, mom. And love you.”

              She descended the stairs and joined Nick on the couch. He muted it automatically. “I told mom I have a crush on Emily.”

              “Oh?”

              “She said a lot of the same stuff you did,” Paige muttered. She looked over and saw Nick smiling rather smugly. She rolled her eyes and grinned.

              “Parents’ love for their children is different than that between two people. We gave birth to you – well, your mother did – and raised you from when you were tiny. We know you arguably better than you know yourself. You are our pride and joy and it’s true that our love is unconditional. When you love someone as much as we do you, there’s nothing you can do make us not.

              “That’s why when I see parents who are disgusted by their children – something they did or some aspect of their being – it angers me. I’m not a violent person as you know, Paige, but seeing or hearing of a situation like that, it makes me want to shake the parent and ask how they can be like that. How they can be so… close minded about their own _child_. So you see, when your mom and I say we love you, we mean it one-hundred and fifty percent.”

              Paige took a deep breath, willing the tears to abate. Why did tonight have to be so emotional? This wasn’t her! She turned and punched him in the arm good-naturedly. “Then how come it took you guys so long to tell me about mom’s cancer?” Her breath caught on the last word.

              Nick crossed one foot over his thigh in typical guy fashion and shifted towards her. “Remember when you first told me about your crush?” She nodded. “You asked if you should tell mom then, too. And I said wait until you’re ready. That’s the same advice I gave your mother when we found out. She was scared – she’d just been told she had advanced cancer for god’s sake – but one of her first thoughts was you. How and when to tell you. At the time, she seemed in no state to tell you. She needed to mull it over herself before she did. And it wasn’t my place to tell you without her permission. So, I waited for her.”

              Paige wiped her eyes and threw herself at him. “You’re the best dad ever, seriously.”

              His heavy hand rubbed her back comfortingly and she could feel his chest vibrate as he said, “And you’re the best kid ever, Paigey.”

* * *

 

              Paige was nervous. In all honesty, she shouldn’t be – it’s just Emily coming over. Emily, her best friend and… and what else? Sometime hook-up buddy? Crush? She pressed her fingers on her temples.

              It was a few days after learning about the cancer and the McCullers were having the Fields over for a light meal between lunch and dinner and to deliver the news. Liz was beginning the process of telling her friends in Rosewood about her prognosis and what better way to start than with her good friends? Emily was riding her bike over first; Pam had some errands to run before she and Wayne could join, but they’d be over within the hour.

              The doorbell rang and she jumped to her feet. She heard Nick greet Emily before sending her upstairs. Paige waited and listened as footsteps drew closer. There was a knock on her door and she crossed her room, flinging the door open. Her heart clenched and she exhaled harshly. “Hey, Em.”

              She was dressed in jean shorts like Paige, except Emily wore a black, low cut sleeveless tank. She had on a gold necklace with a down wards pointing arrow. It hung low and drew Paige’s gaze to it, as well as the swell of breasts behind the shirt. She swallowed and if Emily’s smirk was anything to go by, she’d guess that her friend knew exactly what she was doing.

              Paige was on the verge of grabbing Emily and melding their lips together when Emily spoke. “Hey, you wanted to talk?”

              Right. Paige closed the door and led them to her bed. She’d thought about this situation last night over and over. “My mom’s sick, Emily. She went to the doctors a while ago and they told her she has ovarian cancer.”

              Emily gasped and squeezed their hands tighter. “Oh my god, Paige. Is it serious?”

              It was a prime example of how well they knew each other. Paige hated when people said “I’m so sorry” because it’s not their fault, why are they apologizing? She nodded and a few tears slid down her cheeks. “Stage 3b, whatever that means. It’s advanced and I looked it up on the internet. There’s a fifty-two percent rate of survival with it.”

              “Shit,” Emily swore softly. Paige couldn’t agree more. Shit, indeed. “She’s going to get treatment, right?”

              “Yeah, and that’s when the worst news comes in. My parents have found these doctors that use really advanced medical methods and it should help her. But, it’s in California.” Paige lifts her head and watches Emily.

              She watches Emily’s face morph from confusion to recognition to fear to sadness all in the span of two seconds. “No… You aren’t saying-?”

              Paige sighed heavily and nodded. “We’re moving to California in like a month,” she choked out. She watched Emily spring from the bed and pace back and forth, muttering.

              “Em, I…” Tears were streaming down her face. The look of denial on her friend’s face cut her deeply and her body shook, racked by her sobs.

              “No. There must be some other way. Something we can do to – ”

              “Emily,” Paige’s voice cracked on the single word. “There’s nothing. I’ve tried talking with my parents. But I’m leaving. I’m leaving in a month to live across the country.” God, she was _moving_. Her cries increased and she just sat, watching Emily through blurry eyes. She saw the moment Emily accepted the fact they had no control over this shitty situation. She watched Emily exhale and approach the bed.

              “Well, then we better make the most of the time we’ve got left.”

              Paige gasped as warm hands cupped her face and wiped her tears away. The crying subsided, leaving hiccups in its wake. “Did you lock your door?”

              She nodded and when Emily pressed her lips to hers, Paige felt a tear slip. She was going to miss this, the connection they had. Regardless of the pain Emily put her through by refusing to really acknowledge or name what they’ve been doing the past months, Paige felt like they’ve never been closer. She knew her best friend in intimate ways, ways that no one else (hopefully) knew. Yes, she was going to miss this.

              They divested each other of their shirts and Paige greedily drank in the sight of Emily in her black bra. Paige was pretty sure she had a new favorite color, and it was only because Emily looked so damn good wearing it. She leaned back, allowing Emily to straddle her hips, and ran her hands up incredibly tan legs. The skin was so smooth and soft, but when she squeezed gently, she could feel the muscle lying just underneath.

              Emily leaned heavily on her left arm, allowing her right to thread through Paige’s hair. A thumb rubbed soothingly behind her ear and she sighed. They broke apart to swallow air, but Emily didn’t stray far; her breath puffed lightly on Paige’s lips. When she opened her eyes, she found Emily looking down at her, affection and fondness so clear in her eyes it hurt.

              Paige smiled and lifted the tiniest bit to connect their lips again. The kisses changed from long and deep to short and playful. They caught their breath between each other and Paige nibbled on the bottom lip that Emily just ran her tongue over. She slid her hands up between their bodies, forcing Emily to brace on her arms. Paige covered those breasts with her hands, but before she could grope them, a hand tugged one of hers back down to Emily’s ass. “This is for you, okay?”

              Paige nodded mutely, arching her back so that Emily could flick open the clasp on her bra. She bit her own lip to keep a moan from escaping because whatever Emily was doing to her breast with her mouth was beyond amazing. “Shit,” she mumbled and tangled a hand into dark hair while palming Emily’s ass. Her fingers were dangerously close to the apex between Emily’s thighs, but she didn’t advance.

              Emily’s tongue flicked Paige’s nipple twice, urging a low whine out of her. She tightened her grip in Emily’s hair and pulled her up. They kissed deeply, tongues brushing against each other. She shivered when fingers pinched and rolled her other nipple. Paige knew she was in trouble when her stomach flopped and she felt heat travel from her flushed face _down_.

              Her heart jumped when Emily began trailing kisses downwards. They were open mouthed, and her stomach quivered with each one. “God you’re so hot,” Emily muttered, running her fingers along Paige’s abs.

              “You’re one to talk,” she replied. They both participated in physical activities almost daily and they had the bodies to prove it.

              Emily hummed and drifted to one of Paige’s hipbones. Just to the inside of it, she bit and sucked the skin, drawing out a hiss from Paige. Emily rarely felt the need to mark her, but god, when she did, she didn’t skimp.

              Paige tugged her friend back up to kiss and dragged her teeth firmly along Emily’s bottom lip when they parted. She smirked at the quiet groan she coaxed out. However, just as quickly, she inhaled sharply when a knee wedged itself between her legs, sliding up until Emily’s thigh was nestled firmly against her center. They’d been fooling around long enough that this was the next “step,” but she was hesitant.

              Emily didn’t allow her to overthink, pushing and rubbing her thigh up. The inseam of Paige’s jean shorts hit _something_ , causing her to screw her eyes shut and let out a breathy moan. “Oh my god.” She heard a raspy chuckle by her ear and knew that if she opened her eyes, she’d see Emily smirking.

              Emily repeated the motion and this time, Paige responded in kind. She rolled her hips a little, testing the waters and it was like a grenade went off in the ocean. She bit down on her lip because _wow_ that felt amazing. Together, they worked Paige up to a frenzy until she was somewhat desperately grinding down on Emily’s leg.

              They kissed deeply and that, combined with a hand groping and pinching and worrying her right breast, sent her on a journey where all she saw were stars. Lots and lots of stars. Her heart burst out of her chest and it was a good thing they were kissing because either a loud moan or three words would have escaped. Neither would have been good.

              Paige stilled her hips and just lied there, allowing her heartrate to slow and her breathing to return to normal. Emily rolled onto her side and pressed gentle kisses along her chest and neck, waiting patiently.

              “What _was_ that?” The question was rhetorical, but Emily must not have realized.

              “That, Paige, was your first ever orgasm,” she whispered hotly.

              Paige smirked and shifted on her side, running her fingers through soft hair. “How do you know that was my first?”

              Emily’s blush and sputtering was adorable. “I’m kidding. It was, courtesy of you. So, thanks, I suppose.”

              “Jerk. Besides, how do you even know what one is?”

              “Hanna, duh.”

              “You don’t talk to her about us, do you?” The fear in Emily’s voice was palpable and Paige’s heart twisted.

              “No, of course not. But we talk about her and Caleb and she’s given me a few tips. You know, for when I get a boyfriend,” Paige rolled her eyes jokingly.

              Emily’s eyes flashed for a second and she tensed. “Tips? You two don’t uh, you know, do you?”

              Paige almost laughed at the absurdity. “No way. Just you,” she whispered, tracing Emily’s jawline with her hand.

              They lie silently for a few minutes before Paige shivers, suddenly cold despite the summer season. The sweat on her body had cooled, leaving her skin with goosebumps. She rolled over and retrieved her bra and shirt, as well as Emily’s. As she put her bra on, she eyed Emily’s chest. “A shame I only got to look and not touch.”

              A dirty sock was flung in her face and she laughed. “Perv,” Emily smirked. But really, her chest had been steadily growing faster than Paige’s, not that she was complaining. More for her to hold.

              “Come on, my parents just texted me; they’re on their way.”

              They fixed each other’s hair, making sure there’s no indication of what they just did. Satisfied, they raced each other down the stairs and nearly crashed into Nick who was on his way to the kitchen. “Whoa, where’s the fire, kiddos?”

              They amused him and laughed. Paige opened the fridge, but then remembered they’re about to eat. She sighed and followed Emily to the living room where they collapsed on the couch and turned the channel to baseball reruns.

              Fifteen minutes later, everyone – Emily and Paige and their parents – was seated at the dining room table, eating.

              “Liz, you make the best salads. What kind of dressing is this?” Pam asked.

              “Oh, you flatter me. It’s one I found online and I don’t think it actually has a name. But it’s got olive oil, vinegar, shallots, mustard, anchovy paste, garlic, and lemon zest.”

              Wayne chimed in, “It’s delicious.”

              Paige listens to the adults chat, bumping elbows with Emily occasionally. Really, they should switch so that Emily’s left arm doesn’t intrude when she lifts her food to her mouth, but Paige wouldn’t have it any other way. She and Emily took turns exchanging teasing smiles.

              “So, I invited you both over to share some rather bad news.”

              Paige turned to her mom, seeing the nervous look on her face. She reached under the table and rubbed Liz’s arm reassuringly.

              “I have stage 3b ovarian cancer.”

              Paige heard Pam and Wayne’s sounds of surprise and then the kind words of comfort and support, but all she focused on was Emily’s hand tangled with hers, the thumb moving soothingly over hers.

* * *

 

              Later that night, Paige fell asleep to the feel of Emily’s hand securely holding her left breast under her shirt. Emily fell asleep to the steady rise and fall of Paige’s chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I just wanna say that I don’t/didn’t keep up with the actual PLL show, so when I came up with the idea of Paige moving to California back when I started outlining this story, I had no idea that she actually was going to in the show. I try not to make things too dialogue-heavy, but it was necessary for a couple of those scenes; I figure the first and last parts made up for it lol. Idc anymore if it seems implausible for two 13 year olds to be doing that. Can’t remember if I said this already, but this story will be around 33 chapters. Also, Sparks80 is the real mvp as beta. Love reading your comments, thanks so much for reading! xoxo


	19. Summer between 7th & 8th grade

              “Cute outfit, Paige.”

              She turned around and may have squealed a little bit.  She threw her arms around the blond, “Thanks, Hanna.  This totally lame girl helped me with it.”

              Hanna scoffed, “Please, if I hadn’t intervened, you’d be wearing jean shorts and a plain white v-neck.”

              Affronted, Paige pointed to Emily, who was talking with Samara over by the grill.  “What about Em?  She’s wearing jeans and a white shirt.”

              “She’s wearing way more than that.  Red converses, jean shorts with sparkles, a very fashionable white tank with an American flag on the front, and a blue and white bandeau.”

              “Whatever,” Paige grinned.  Hanna wasn’t wrong; she probably would have just worn a simple jean and white shirt combination.  Instead, she was wearing her white converses, jean cutoffs, and a washed out navy shirt with white stars and a red neckline.  Totally Fourth of July party worthy.

              The McCullers were hosting a Fourth of July party which also doubled as a going away party.  Practically everyone and their mother had been invited and as Paige looked around her backyard, she figured the turnout was close to making the phrase true.

              She greeted Mrs. Connie Jones, complimenting the woman on her stylish navy dress with white trim.  Paige moved about the guests, accepting the sympathetic and heart-warming words from the people she’d known since she was a child.  Even her field hockey and swim coaches were in attendance.  Even the _DiLaurentises_.

              “Ah, Paige.  Spencer and I were just talking about you.  Are you planning on playing hockey in California?  I bet the weather is spectacular for year-round seasons,” Coach Myers queried.

              Paige fist-bumped Spencer and answered, “I’ll definitely try out.  I have no idea how good the school team is, or if there’s a decent travel team.  I’m planning on swimming as well, but probably only for the school.  Hockey’s got my heart, Coach.”

              “That’s what I like to hear.  We’re all bummed about you moving, but we understand the circumstances.  Just promise that when your mom gets better, you come back!”

              She crossed her heart, “I will.  I gotta make sure Spencer doesn’t steal my spot as number one on the team.”

              “Hey!  I’ll have you know that I still lead for having the most goals,” Spencer retorted.

              “Most of which I assisted with,” Paige shot back.

              Spencer opened her mouth, but closed it after a second.  “I’m gonna miss you, McCullers.  But if you tell anyone I said that, I’ll kill you.”

              Paige rolled her eyes and pulled her teammate into a tight embrace.  “I’ll miss you too, Spence.  We’ll have to facetime just so I can get in my weekly dose of snark.”  It earned her a hard punch to her bicep, but she was interrupted from retaliating.

              “Paige, I’m so sorry to hear about your mother.  Robert and I will miss your smiling face.”

              Spencer and Coach Myers waved and moved away to talk with other people.  Paige hugged Mrs. Johnson, one half of the owner pair of the local diner.  “Thank you, Mrs. Johnson.  I’ll miss your delicious Club Sandwich.  You guys make it like no other!”

              Liz beckoned her over and Paige excused herself.  “Do you want to start telling people dinner is ready whenever?  We’ll probably start the fireworks around eleven.”

              She checked her watch; it was seven in the evening.  The sun wouldn’t be setting until at least another hour.  She dutifully informed the guests about dinner and took her time talking with several of them who insisted she sit with them for a little bit.  Nick brought her a plate – cheeseburger with a salad – and ruffled her hair affectionately.  By the time she excused herself to throw away her food, it was just after nine-thirty.  Where had the time gone?

              While she was standing by the drink table, two tan arms wrapped themselves around her middle.  “I’m cold.”  She shivered when the words hit her ear.  Both the sun and the temperature had dropped, the latter by several degrees.

              She turned and wriggled her arms loose only to drape them over Emily’s shoulders.  They were the same height, so when she leant forward and tightened her hold, their noses bumped briefly.  “I’ve got a sweatshirt in my room.”

              Emily was sold.  She trailed her hand down Paige’s arm until their fingers were tangled loosely, and led the way inside the house and up the stairs.  Paige rubbed at her chest with her other hand – it was _pounding_ so loudly in her ears and only when Emily closed her bedroom door and firmly pushed her against it did Paige’s hearing clear.

              She licked her lips in anticipation at the eager glint in Emily’s eyes.  Her fingers fumbled with the lock on the door.  Successful, she gripped Emily’s hips low and tight and walked her backwards towards the bed.  She kept Emily upright when the girl’s knees threatened to buckle against the edge of the mattress and brought their faces close.  Paige brushed her nose against Emily’s, grinning widely and teasing.  She could hear the voices and laughter coming from the backyard, but they were muffled.  She and Emily were in a bubble; in their own world.

              In the month between when Paige told Emily about Liz’s cancer and now, they hadn’t gone any further than that day.  They took turns “doing” each other, but the clothes always stayed on.  It was always thighs.  Paige couldn’t look at Emily’s thighs these days without heat creeping up her neck.

              Despite their combined fervor, they took their time.  After all, they had an hour and a half before the fireworks started and she knew Emily would want to watch them.  She pulled back but kept her hands clasped behind Emily’s lower back.  “I thought you wanted a sweatshirt.”

              “I’m not really cold anymore,” the tan girl smirked.

              “Are you sure?  I’ve got a really nice navy one that’s got you-”

              “Paige?”

              “Yeah?”

              “Shut the hell up and kiss me.”

              Paige laughed, happy.  That was probably the fourth time Emily’s actually acknowledged with words what they’ve been doing the past months.  She obeyed, of course she did.  She placed a kiss on Emily’s nose.  “There.  Are you happy, princess?”

              Emily rolled her eyes, unable to stop her smile, and wrapped her hand in Paige’s hair.  She tugged, forcing Paige’s head back and licked a line up her neck.  Paige gasped, the sudden show of dominance sent a sharp rush of arousal – she now knew a lot of her body’s warning signs – through her.  “ _Ems_.”

              “I wasn’t kidding, Paige.  Kiss me.”

              The pressure against the base of her neck loosened and Paige pushed Emily down and away from her, onto the bed.  She watched her best friend shuffle back until she was in the middle of the double bed.  She traced the side of Emily’s neck, over the swell of her still-growing chest, down the tan, toned thighs, and to the ankles barely dangling over the bed.  Satisfied, Paige stalked forward and lifted her knees onto the bed, her front arms supporting her weight as she continued her approach.  She smirked inwardly when she saw Emily visibly swallow.

              In one fluid motion, she reached Emily and connected their lips, still leaning forward.  Emily fell back fully on the bed and Paige followed.  She would always follow.  She peppered kisses over Emily’s face and when Emily tried to pull Paige’s shirt off, she swatted her hands away.  “We’ve got time, Ems.”

              Emily sighed, which Paige covered with her mouth and stole.  She alternated between deep and playful kisses.  It had the desired effect; Emily soon grew impatient and squirmed beneath Paige.  Paige wondered if Emily was feeling hot all over.  She curled a hand around the side of Emily’s neck and the warmth confirmed it.

              She began pulling way slowly, pleased when Emily followed her upwards without needing to be told.  Sitting back on her knees, she fiddled with Emily’s tank and waited until they separated for a breather.  She pulled it up and over her friend, placing it beside them on the bed.  (They learned from a few close calls that it was safer and easier to keep the clothes near them)  Paige sucked at the protuberant collarbone, but lightly; she wasn’t stupid or daring enough to bruise the skin where everyone could see.

              She moved down, pulling the bandeau down.  It was tight and she couldn’t be bothered with the extra seconds it would take to divest Emily of it properly.  She immediately covered the left breast with her hand and took the other nipple into her mouth.  Emily arched up on cue and her low moan was music to Paige’s ears.  She swirled her tongue around the pert nipple, sucking it on a whim.  Emily rasped her name and Paige did it again.  She soon became aware of two hands pushing against her and she leaned back.

              Instantly, she found herself looking up into the mischievous face of Emily.  She felt hands fumbling impatiently with the hem of her t-shirt and she twisted and shifted until both it and her bra were on the bed.  She bit hard on her lip to suppress a moan from sounding; Emily’s mouth was molten heat on her breast, branding her.  She wanted to protest but she bit the words back too.  Instead, she placed a hand behind Emily’s head and pulled her closer, no longer caring about the burns.

              Then Emily sat astride one of Paige’s thighs and she felt burned there; the heat emanating from between Emily’s legs was immense and Paige remembered.  She remembered that just minutes ago, she’d been the one in charge.  Paige tensed her body and easily flipped them.  She didn’t miss the flash of arousal in those chocolate eyes at the display of prowess.  “Pretty sure I said we’ve got time.  Why are you rushing this?”

              Emily only grunted, impatient.  Paige rolled her eyes and began slowing the pace, lightening the vibe.  She teased, nipped, and worried Emily’s skin under her jaw, above her nipple, below her belly button.  She kept her thigh in place and flexed it up, delighting in the harsh exhale against her ear.  “Paige, _please_.”

              She hesitated for a second, having never heard Emily sound so desperate.  She took in the blown pupils, the flushed cheeks, and the heaving chest.  She slid her hands down Emily’s body and removed her thigh.  Paige slowly worked with the button on Emily’s shorts, anticipating the hands that covered hers.  “Paige?  I don’t think-”

              She placed a gentle kiss on swollen lips and murmured, “Trust me?  I’ll stop if you want me to, but I want to try something, okay?”

              She waited until she had Emily’s unconditional consent and then pulled the zipper down.  Emily’s hitch in breath seemed loud, but it was probably due to Paige’s ear being so close.  She tugged on the shorts playfully.  “I just wanna take these off, okay?  Only these.”

              Emily nodded and together, they worked them down Emily’s legs.  Paige leaned back fully so that she could appreciate all the skin that was on display.  She’d never seen Emily so bare before, in just a pair of black underwear.  They were plain, but looked so damn good on her.

              Paige grunted when she was forced down, just barely managing to catch herself on her elbows so she didn’t hurt Emily.  She took Emily’s bottom lip between hers and sucked before running her tongue over it.  She returned her thigh to its original place between Emily’s and groaned at the feeling of heat and wetness.  The idea of just a thin piece of cloth separating them was incredibly arousing.  “Holy shit, Ems.”

              Emily smiled against her lips, a blush dusting her cheeks.  “ _Stop_ , it’s embarrassing!”

              “You have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about, Emily Fields,” she whispered, her voice low and raspy.  She kept her leg where it was, but pulled it back so it wasn’t pressing against Emily.  She had to grip the girl to prevent her from following Paige’s thigh.  “Trying something new, remember?”

              Paige was overcome with affection at Emily’s huff, knowing her friend was frustrated.  She ran her hands down firm muscles and rested them on those hipbones she loved so much.  She coaxed Emily’s mouth open and kissed her deep and slow, relishing the fact that she was able to know her best friend so intimately.  She maintained pressure on Emily’s hips, keeping her in place, but she was unprepared for the fingers that tweaked her nipples.  Paige stuttered, but continued placing kisses along Emily’s jawline and neck.

              Then, she felt the hands leave her own breasts and travel down and she glanced down to see-

              She bit her lip at the sight.  Emily’s impatience was at its end, apparently.  She was touching herself and Paige almost melted.  But Emily’s little puffs of breath reminded Paige of her goal.  One of Paige’s hands covered Emily’s and pulled it away, replacing it with her own.  The cotton was _soaked_ , and there was so much heat.  Paige had a better sense of things, now that she was able to feel, albeit still through the fabric.  But honestly, it was so thin that it might as well not be there at all.

              Emily blew out a stream of air when Paige rubbed up and down.  Everything was slick and she could only imagine doing this without underwear.  Paige lingered near the top, her finger running over the hard clitoris.  Dimly, she pictured the diagrams from Dr. Montgomery’s sex-ed class.  Emily’s breathing was rapid, so Paige pressed down a little more and kept her eyes on Emily’s face.  She increased the pace just minutely, but it was enough.  Emily’s eyes which had already been closed, squeezed even more and Paige stared at the bottom lip caught between white teeth.

              Emily’s climax was quiet, but Paige knew during any other circumstance, she would have been louder.  Only a soft exhale of air gave any notion of it.  She felt, rather than saw, Emily relax.  Her body, previously rigid and tense, softened and when Emily brought her arms down to her side, Paige winced.  Her shoulders hurt and she had no idea why.

              Emily craned her head up and gasped.

              “What is it?”

              “I should probably cut my nails next time.”

              Realization dawn on Paige.  Emily’s nails had dug into her skin during her climax.  And then – .  “Next time?”

              Emily rolled her eyes and pushed at Paige’s shoulder until she rolled off of her and they were side by side.  “You’re really good at that and a girl’s got needs.”

              Paige deflated a little, “So that’s all I’m good for?  A good lay?”

              Emily placed one hand on the side of Paige’s face.  “No, that’s not what I meant.  You’re my best friend, Paige and I really like doing this with you.  So, if you stop being all sulky and emo, then yeah, next time we do this, I’ll cut my nails.”

              Paige sighed and pressed their lips together.  “Okay,” she muttered.  “And I’m allowed to be sulky.  I’m moving in four days.”

              She was surprised when Emily settled on top of her; usually when one of them got off, Emily would decide it enough and leave.  “Well, then we better make the most of the time we’ve got left,” Emily said, echoing the same words from last time.

              Paige ran her hands through Emily’s hair as a warm mouth covered her left nipple.  She didn’t think she’d ever tire of the indescribable feeling it gave her.

              Five minutes passed and Emily was steadily working her way down Paige’s toned stomach when there was a quick knock on the door and it opened.

              “Hey, they’re about to start the firewo – holy crap!”

              Emily flew off of Paige and landed roughly on the floor, her clothes conveniently going down with her.  Exposed and dazed, it took Paige a couple seconds before she registered who was in her room.  She scrambled up and gathered her clothes, quickly throwing them on.  “Hanna, what the hell?  Ever heard of knocking?”

              She was equal parts embarrassed, scared, and worried.  One of her very close friends just walked in on her and her best friend doing things that best friends definitely didn’t do.  She had no idea how Hanna would react.  Also, she knew Emily would be freaking out ten times harder than she because she was Emily.

              Hanna had both hands slapped over her eyes and had thankfully closed the door.  “I did knock!  But again, I repeat: holy crap!”

              Paige was finished dressing before Emily and she wordlessly handed over Emily’s shorts, desperately trying to make eye contact.  It was useless.  Emily had her wide-eyed gaze fixed firmly on her shorts that she was struggling to put on.

              “Like, I know you guys are best friends and super close and all, but I had _no_ idea how close!”

              Emily looked like she was going to faint, so Paige hissed, “Hanna, kindly please shut the hell up!”

              The blond removed her hands and looked at both of them, Emily bending down to retrieve her flip flops.  “Em, wait.”  Paige reached a hand out towards the flustered girl, but drew it back just as quickly at the glare directed at her.

              “No, Paige.  I can’t believe this is happening.  I knew we’d eventually get caught.  I have to go.”

              Emily brushed by Hanna, still standing by the door, and pushed her out of the way, slamming the door shut.  Paige sat, her fists clenched on the bed, shocked.  The silence was deafening, but luckily Hanna could always be counted on.  She broke it first.  “Well, that was… interesting.  Wanna fill me in?”

              Paige really didn’t, but after months of harboring her secret and it _finally_ being revealed, she did.  She moved off the bed – she couldn’t think about it, what had been done on it – and sat on the floor.  Hanna joined her and immediately wrapped her arms around Paige.

              “I don’t even know where to start,” Paige murmured.

              “How about the first time it happened, since it’s obviously been going on for a while,” Hanna suggested.

              “My birthday.  We went on a Ferris wheel and kissed.  We’ve been doing stuff since then.”

              “Stuff?”

              “Not sex.  Just kissing and uh, touching.”  Paige had the decency to blush, but she felt like she was waiting for the other shoe to drop.  “Han?  Why aren’t you freaking out?”

              The blond smiled.  “I’m not like Noel.  I don’t _care_ if you like boys or girls or both.  Some people are vegetarians and you don’t see people hating on them.  Society’s messed up, but I think we’re making progress.  I mean, gay marriage is legal everywhere now.  I think you’ll find that a lot of people have no issue with the whole gay thing.”

              “When did you get so wise?”

              “I woke up like this, girl.”

              Paige laughed and jumped when Hanna wiped at her cheeks.  She hadn’t realized she’d been crying.

              “So, does this mean you’re gay?”

              “I’m not really sure yet.  I just know that I really, really like Emily.  I told Samara I was Emily-sexual.”

              “You’ve told Samara?  Have you told anyone else?”

              “I’ve only told my parents that I have a crush on Em.  Not that we do… stuff.”

              “Really?  That’s really awesome, Paige.”  Hanna twirled a strand of her blond hair.  “I’ve always wanted a gay best friend.  And it turns out that I’ve had two without even knowing it!”

              Paige shook her head, “Emily’s not gay.  She won’t even talk about what we’re doing, at least not seriously.  This is the worst I’ve ever seen her.  I need to apologize or something.”

              “Huh, I wouldn’t say she’s straight either, really.  Let me go talk to her.”  Hanna stood up and offered her hand.

              “You have to promise not to tell anyone.”  Paige wiped at her eyes.

              “I won’t, I promise.  Look, whatever’s going on between you two is just that: between you two.  I think she’s being stupid and all denial-y, but I also can see where she’s coming from.  I mean, Pam Fields can be pretty intimidating.”

              Paige sighed, “Yeah.  I get so nervous around her, worried that she’ll be able to tell that I’ve kissed her daughter.  That I’ve touched her daughter’s boob.”

              “Ew, Paige.  I don’t need to hear all the details.”

              “Hey, now you know how I feel when you talk about Caleb!  How is he, by the way?”

              “Sad he couldn’t make it, but don’t change the subject.  I’ll go catch up with Em and you fix yourself up.  Try not to look like you just got laid.”  Hanna ran her fingers through Paige’s hair, but they got stuck halfway.  “Exactly my point,” she scrunched her nose.

              “Thanks Han,” Paige said, pulling her friend into a tight hug.  “I’m not sure what I’d do without you.”

              “I get that a lot.”

              Paige pushed the blond out of her room, a fond smile on her lips.  “Text me.  I’ll be spending the rest of the night avoiding Em.”

              “Don’t worry about it.  You two are inseparable; you’ll be hanging out again tomorrow, I’m sure of it!”

              The door closed and Paige was alone.

              Later that night, around twelve thirty, her phone buzzed as she was brushing her teeth.  It was from Hanna.  **Everything is all good**.

* * *

 

              Except, it wasn’t.  It was moving day and Paige still hadn’t heard from Emily.  Radio silence; no phone calls, texts, e-mails, voicemails.  Nothing.  And it wasn’t lack for trying.  Paige had sent several texts and voicemails.  The most recent voicemail, Paige had simply whispered, “Emily, _please_ talk to me.”  She’d left that yesterday.

              Nick and Liz had noticed that something was wrong.  Her dad had casually asked, “What’s Ems up to lately?” and Paige had shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t know.”

              Liz had been more direct in her questioning.  “Has something happened between you and Emily?  Did she find out about… you know, The Crush?”  Paige had groaned and retreated to her room, but she still heard Liz’s raised voice.  “I’m here when you’re ready to talk!”

              “Paigey, bring one of the kitchen boxes out here!”  Nick’s booming voice carried from the front yard to the living room – an impressive feat.

              She jumped up from the sofa and meandered through the house until she reached the kitchen.  They were renting the house for the duration of their time in California – how long exactly was still open – so the furniture remained.  Everything else came with; plates, clothes, lamps, pictures, and so on.

              There were three boxes waiting for her and she took the heaviest, bending at her knees to lessen the strain on her back.  Judging by the weight, she was carrying bowls and plates.  She shuffled down the front porch steps until Nick met her halfway and relieved her of the box.  “Thanks, Muscles.”

              “ _Dad_ ,” she groaned.

              “What?  You’re almost stronger than me!”

              She punched him in the shoulder playfully and walked over to her mom.  “Hey.”

              Liz pushed off of the moving van and wrapped her arms around Paige, who mimicked her.  “You know I love you, right?”

              “Why are you getting all sappy, mom?  You’re not dying, are you?”

              “I’m not planning on it.  The meds are doing their job so far.”

              Liz was undergoing some sort of treatment that went over Paige’s head, but she knew it wasn’t radiation or chemo yet because Liz’s head was still covered by her beautiful auburn-brown hair, which Paige had inherited.  The woman did tire more easily though.

              “I love you too, mom.”  She caught Liz’s side-glance.  “What?”

              “Oh, nothing.  Just wondering if Emily’s going to come over and say good-bye before we leave.  Her parents stopped by early this morning while you were still asleep.”

              Paige knew Liz was fishing, offering a hook to grab.  She sighed and sat on the curb and picked at the grass.  “I dunno.  We’re kind of fighting.”

              “I gathered that,” Liz said wryly.

              “I don’t want to talk about why, but she hasn’t returned any of my calls or texted back.”

              “Was it your fault?”

              “Mom!  Whose side are you on?”

              “Yours, honey.  I just need a little more information before I can give you a mother’s invaluable advice.”

              Paige shrugged her shoulders in a decidedly teenagerly fashion.  “She’s worried about what people think of her, I guess.”

              “Well, you both are at the age where having your peers’ approval is important, which I still don’t understand, and I _was_ a teenager back in the day.”

              “Yeah, but you’ve always been so cool, mom.  You don’t give a crap about what people think.  That’s one reason why you’re such a good lawyer.”

              “My daughter thinks I’m cool.  Cancer, take me now and I can die happy.”

              Paige slapped Liz’s shin.  “Shut up.”

              “You know, I should start grounding you for your colorful language, young lady.  And joking about death helps me.  My therapist said so.”

              “My therapist said that you should start giving me a weekly allowance of a hundred dollars,” Paige retorted smartly.

              Liz opened her mouth to reply and instead of a comeback, she said, “Emily!”

              Paige whipped her head around and sure enough, Emily was walking down the sidewalk towards them, one hand tucked in the back pocket of her jean shorts and the other lifted in a shy wave.  Paige stood and wiped her hands on her shorts; they were suddenly clammy.

              Nick intercepted Emily, picking her up and twirling her.  “Ems!  We’ve missed you.  Paigey was worried we’d leave before you came by.  We’re just about finished packing, so good timing.”

              Paige flushed at her dad’s words and watched as Emily chatted softly with him.  She felt a gentle push at her back and turned to see Liz smiling.  “Go up in your room.  Your dad and I will finish up.”

              She remained rooted to the spot as Liz brushed past, leaving the scent of mangos in her wake.  She tracked Emily’s approach with uncertain eyes, both worried and curious about the impromptu visit.  “Hey.”

              Paige offered a small smile in return, angling her body towards the house.  “My room?”  She saw Emily’s hesitation and wondered if the same flashbacks were going through her mind as well.  Finally, she nodded and gestured for Paige to lead the way.

              Paige was painfully aware of the floorboards creaking as they climbed the stairs and cleared her throat at the top.  “So, how’s your parents?”

              Emily didn’t reply until they were in Paige’s room.  “Fine.  But that’s not why I’m here.”

              Paige sat on her bed – just a mattress with no sheets – leaving plenty of room for Emily to join her.  Emily leaned against the desk instead, fingers picking at a loose thread.  “Okay…”

              “I’m here because you’re leaving for god knows how long and you’re my best friend and I’m going to miss you.”

              “I didn’t feel like your best friend the past few days.  I called and left messages.  Apologizing.  For what, I don’t even know.  All I know is that you wouldn’t talk to me and I felt like it was my fault.  Two days ago, I told myself you just needed a little more time to cool off.  Yesterday, I wondered if you were even going to say good-bye before I left.  This morning, I had resigned myself to the fact that you weren’t.”  Paige wiped at the tears running down her face angrily.  She had felt by all accounts guilty, but in the past days it had morphed into hurt and anger.

              She didn’t give Emily a chance to answer.  “I’m sorry that we got caught and I’m sorry that I can’t help the way I feel about you.”  Paige took a deep breath, wincing when she shuddered visibly.  “But I’m _not_ sorry about being your best friend.  I really needed one this week and you weren’t there.  I’m fucking leaving and instead of spending as much time as possible with my best friend, I stayed in my room, _sulking_.  I get that you’re scared, trust me.  But at the same time, that’s what I’m here for.  I just wish you would’ve talked to me.”

              She closed her eyes and allowed the quiet to surround her.  She heard Emily moving and seconds later felt arms envelop her tightly.  “God, I’m so sorry, Paige.  So sorry.  You’re right, I am scared, but I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did.  Please, forgive me?”

              Paige did, of course she did.  She nodded and turned into Emily’s embrace, her tears soaking through Emily’s t-shirt.  When the crying subsided, she leaned back until they were laying side-by-side, looking up at the blank ceiling.  Paige had very reluctantly agreed that the glow in the dark stickers needed to come off.  But she had insisted on doing it herself.

              “Remember the night there was a really huge storm and we just laid here, looking up at the stars?”

              Paige smiled at the memory.  “You know I only put them up because I couldn’t sleep with a nightlight, but you couldn’t sleep in the pitch dark?”

              “I still can’t.  I hate the dark.”

              Paige sighed, tangling their fingers together tentatively.  She turned her head and squinted, tracing Emily’s profile, lingering on her lips.  The sun streamed through the uncovered window and made Emily look like an angel.  Hit with the sudden desire to kiss her, Paige shifted to her side and propped herself up on one elbow.  She leaned over, waiting until brown eyes met her own before hovering closer.

              Emily sat up and turned so her feet were planted on the ground, her back to Paige.  “I can’t.”

              Paige furrowed her brow, hurt and rejected.  “My parents are downstairs, they’re not going to come in the way Hanna did, Em.”

              Emily shook her head and repeated herself.

              “Why not?”

              Emily stood up and walked to the window, looking down.  Paige fidgeted, waiting.  Finally, Emily turned around and crossed her arms in front of her chest.  “I’m seeing someone.”

              Paige frowned.  They didn’t usually divulge their relationship status, but she was sure she would’ve heard if Emily was dating someone.  “Since when?”

              She saw the guilt and hesitation and that’s when she knew.  “Recently, then?” she prompted.

              Emily turned away and nodded.  “Three days ago.”

              Paige gasped.  The day after the Fourth of July party.  She knew she shouldn’t, but she asked anyway.  “Who?”

              “Ben.”  The name came out as a whisper, but Paige imagined it seep into the pores of the walls of her room.  Her mouth twisted into a grimace and she stood up.

              “Why?”

              “What do you mean-”

              “Why are you dating him?”

              Emily moved across the room.  “He called me later that night and asked me out.  He’s a nice guy.”

              “Exactly, a guy.”

              “Paige, I’m not gay.”

              “Then what do you call what we’ve been doing the past months?”

              Emily shrugged, “Practice.  Messing around until we have boyfriends.”

              Paige stepped back and the back of her knees hit the mattress.  She almost grabbed at her chest; she was sure that if she looked, she’d find a knife settled deep in her heart.  She never thought Emily would outright deny it, especially in such a cruel way.  “It’s the twenty-first century, Em.  Everyone knows Dennis from tenth grade is gay and dating Jacob.”

              “My mom-”

              “Is conservative as hell, yeah, I know.  But that shouldn’t stop you from admitting what this is.  What we _are_.  What _you_ are.”  Paige clenched her fists, all the anger suddenly bubbling to the surface, threatening to explode.

              “What are we, Paige?  I thought we were best friends.  I know who I am, what I am.  I’m just a middle school girl who loves swimming.”  Emily’s words had more bite than Paige had ever heard before.

              “Do you want me to spell it out for you?  Since you seem incapable of saying it out loud?  I’m gay, Emily.  And I’m pretty sure you are too, if us ‘messing around’ and kissing is anything to go by.”

              “I’m _not_ gay,” Emily gritted out, her eyes flashing with fear, denial and something dark.

              “No?  I’m pretty sure licking my boo-”

              The slap came out of nowhere and the bedroom walls sucked up the sound.  Her right check throbbed and when she pressed a hand to it, the skin was hot.  She looked at Emily with reproach, ignoring the look of horror and regret.  “I don’t know you anymore.  My best friend would never have done that.  You know, I used to not regret starting this thing with you because I couldn’t believe that I was able to have you in such a… special way that no one else would, at least for a while.  Even when we had our little disagreements, I still told myself, ‘better to have had a little than not at all.’  Now though?  All it did was turn me into a blind fool and you into someone I barely even recognize.”

              “Paige, I’m so-”

              She shied away from the outstretched hand and gestured sharply at the door.  “No.  Get out.”

              Emily shook her head and stepped forward.  “Please, I didn’t mean it.”

              Paige turned away to the window and growled, “I hope Ben makes you happy, being a guy and all.”

              She felt Emily’s presence behind her and jerked her body away when a searing hand touched her arm.  She stayed like that, tense and cold until she heard her bedroom door open and close.  When she turned around, she was alone.  Only then did she let the choked sob escape.  “ _Fuck_.”

* * *

 

              Six days later – they made a lot of pit stops and Liz could only drive for so long before tiring – they finally pulled into the driveway of a modest ranch house nestled in the coastal neighborhood of Alamitos Beach.  Liz had mentioned earlier that it was a ten minute walk from their house to the closest beach.

              Paige stumbled out of the car and stretched, her spine popping in relief.  She’d seen pictures of the house online, but seeing it in person couldn’t compare.  From the front, she couldn’t see much; just the two car garage and a high privacy wall with a dark brown gate.

              “Kiddo, here are the keys to the front door and gate.  Can you open them?  We’ll start unloading boxes.”  Nick held out a ring with three keys on it.  She figured the other key was for the garage or something.

              She took them and tried one key for the gate.  It didn’t work.  She tried another and heard the satisfying _click_ of the lock.  She opened both of the doors and stepped through, finding herself in an expansive patio of sorts.  To her right was a door that presumably led to the garage and in front of her were the front steps of the house.  She walked to the left of the house and peered around the corner.  It was small alleyway and she could see to the backyard, though there was no grass.

              Paige returned to her task and used the keys to open the front door.  Since they were renting the house, there was furniture that greeted her.  A dining table immediately ahead of her and a marble fireplace behind it.  To the left of the table was a long leather couch facing a television cabinet, which was empty.  Before she could explore the house more, Liz called her back outside.

              She checked her phone – two texts from Emily, both apologies – and texted Spencer and Hanna, letting them know she’d arrived safely at her new home.  Her chest hurt every time she thought about Emily and their last encounter, and seeing her name pop up only twisted the knife that was still very much there, a little more.  So yes, she was ignoring Emily.  Taking the time to both get over her friend and heal.  So far, there was no change.

              Paige pocketed her phone and found her parents unloading the U-haul truck.  Nick couched down from inside, handing Liz a box.  “Paigey, just in time!  We need yours muscles.”

              She grinned and put Rosewood out of her mind.  For the next forty-five minutes, the three of them carried boxes into the house.  They exchanged high-fives when Nick slammed the truck’s back door shut.  “Alright, team, now we just have to unpack!”

              Paige groaned and massaged her arms.  “I don’t think I ever have to have an arm day again.”

              Nick ruffled her hair, “Go get settled in your room.  We’ll get lunch started somehow.  We’re having dinner with the extended fam, so I’d suggest a shower.”

              “Is that your polite way of saying I smell?”  Paige purposefully ignored Nick’s attempt at being hip and one with the teenager lingo.

              “Yes.”

              Paige laughed and weaved through the house slowly, stopping along the way to open doors and acclimate herself with her new home.  It was very nice and the location was even better; she knew both of her parents’ jobs helped with the purchase.  It was a huge bonus that Nick had been promoted to a higher position at the Los Angeles branch.

              She reached her room which was bigger than the one in Rosewood.  It was bare except for a double bed against the wall and directly under the only window.  A dresser and chest of drawers lined another wall.  Five large cardboard boxes sat off to the side, filled with all of her clothes, trophies, and other trinkets.  She set to work unpacking, finding the bedsheets first.  Paige worked steadily for an hour until only one box remained.  She pulled out three shoeboxes and put them in the back of her closet without opening them.  She knew what they contained and the thought caused her stomach to twist painfully.

              Whipping her phone out, she backed out of her room and took a decent panorama of the finished product.  Satisfied, she sent it to Hanna and Spencer with the caption: **didn’t know how much stuff I had!**

              Hanna immediately replied, unsurprisingly.  **I’ve got about five times as much.**

              Spencer was equally enthused: **Congrats on completing such an arduous task, McCullers.**

              Paige rolled her eyes at her friends and left her phone on her bed while she went to shower.

* * *

 

               “Oh my god, you’ve grown so much since I last saw you, Paige!”

              Paige gasped as the air was nearly squeezed out of her.  “Great to see you… too, Nicole.  But, I can’t uh, breathe.”  She patted her aunt’s back weakly.

              “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m just so-”  The strawberry blond wiped at the bottom of her eyes.

              “You’re crying, mom?  Really? “

              Paige hid her smirk behind a cough.  A tall boy leaned against the stair railing.  “Hey, cousin.  Long time, no see.”

              She threw a wave his way, “Hi Brandon.  Glad to see you’re finally taller than me.  I was worried for a while that we’d forever be the same height.”

              He barked a laugh and descended lazily towards them, scooping her up in his arms.  “It’s so refreshing to have someone around who can snark back at me just as well.”

              When he deposited her back on the ground, she found herself with a face full of broad chest, courtesy of her uncle, Conner Tharpe.  “P-Meister!”

              She wrinkled her nose, “You know, it sounded cool when I was like, nine, but not so much anymore.”

              Connor tilted his head and nodded thoughtfully.  “You may be on to something there, kiddo.”

              She rolled her eyes.  He and her dad were so similar they could have been brothers in another life.  She watched Liz and Nicole hug each other tightly and didn’t miss the tear that slid down Liz’s face.

              “Was that a new addition to the house?” Nick asked Connor.  They launched into a boisterous conversation about handiwork and tools.  Paige was saved by her only chance of survival.

              “So, Paige.  Wanna see if you’re still the reigning champion of Smash Bros.?”  Brandon jerked his thumb up the stairs, presumably where his room was.

              She smiled gratefully, her eyes flashing with anticipation.  “You’re so on.”

* * *

 

              “Brandon, Paige; come down for dinner!”  Nicole’s voice floated from downstairs.

              “Okay!” he shouted back, fingers smashing buttons furiously.  “God, I don’t understand how you’re so good at this.  You don’t even have a system back at home, do you?”

              Paige smirked and shook her head.  Unflappable, she methodically made her character on the screen – Dark Pit – use his Electroshock Arm, sending Brandon’s Captain Falcon flying off the stage.  “What can I say?  I’m a natural.”

              They still had ten seconds left before the round would end and Paige made the most of it.  She jerked the c-stick down, prompting Dark Pit to use his special move.  Brandon blocked it and retaliated.  Dark Pit was at ninety-three percent damage when the buzzer sounded and the game ended.  Paige slapped Brandon’s shoulder when she came up victorious.  “Suck it!”

              “Ow, watch the delts!  I work hard for this hot body.”  He dropped his controller and flexed.  She had to admit, it was impressive.  But she lifted her shirt sleeve and tightened her own arm, pleased with Brandon’s cocked eyebrows.  “Damn, girl.  We gotta work out together; I want your workout routine.”

              Paige laughed and accepted.  “I need someone to show me around.  It’s nice you’re only like a twenty-minute bike ride from my house.”

              “One year from now, I’m pretty sure I’ll have my license,” he waggled his eyebrows.

              “Remind me to put 911 on speed dial,” Paige shot back.

              They raced each other downstairs and Paige decided she was glad that Brandon didn’t act like he was too cool for her, being two years her senior.  Being around him lifted her otherwise gloomy spirits and it wasn’t until her phone buzzed as she was sitting down at the table that she realized she hadn’t thought about Rosewood for two hours.  An impressive feat considering she’d thought of nothing but since she left six days ago.

              Hanna sent a picture of Spencer outside with her hockey stick and ball, and a fierce scowl on her face.  The caption read: **She misses practicing with you.**

              She sent a quick reply, **I can tell**.  Hopefully Hanna would catch the sarcasm.

              Paige sat beside Nick and squirmed to the side when he pinched her side.  Dinner was an entertaining affair.  There was more talking than eating, but that was to be expected.  Everyone took turns catching everyone else up on the past five or so years.  Phone calls only did so much in connecting people, Paige decided.  By the end of the dinner, she was completely relaxed and immersed with her family.  Nick didn’t have any siblings, so the Tharpes were Paige’s only extended family along with her grandparents.

              Paige realized that Liz must have talked with Nicole and Connor already about the cancer, because it wasn’t brought up at the table.  The conversation swung to the kids, Brandon first.

              “So, you’re going into tenth grade.  No longer the bottom of the high school food chain.  When Paigey enters high school, you’ll have to keep an eye on her for us, okay?” Nick teased.

              The blond boy’s mouth quirked and he leaned back in his chair, hands clasped behind his head.  Paige noticed it caused his biceps to flex.  “Of course, uncle Nick.  But I’m sure she’ll be able to handle herself just fine.  Hey, you guys will come to my basketball games, right?  I’m hoping to make varsity this year.”

              There was a murmur of agreement and Liz asked, “Any love on the horizon, B?”

              He laughed and shook his head, “No way.  Too young for that stuff.”

              Paige looked away, thinking about how wrong he was.  She was two years younger than him and already in love with-

              She cleared her throat and spoke up, “Just watch you fall in love with the girl you ask to prom.”

              Brandon rolled his baby-blue eyes – definitely a teenager thing – and leaned over to ruffle her hair.  She swatted at him indignantly.

              “Paige, are you thinking of trying out for any sports this year?” Nicole asked.

              “Yep.  Field hockey and swimming.”

              Liz cut in, “Paige was one of the top players on both teams back at Rosewood Middle.”

              “I’m hoping to make varsity this year,” Paige shrugged.

              “Which is your favorite?” Connor asked.

              “Field hockey, for sure.  It’s more contact than swimming and I can get pretty aggressive.”

              “She actually took a girl down during one game.  She had to sit the rest of the game out, but word spread and a lot of the opposing girls avoided going up against her one-on-one,” Nick added, proud.

              Paige chuckled at the memory, remembering how Spencer had chewed her out after the game but then smacked her butt, saying, “If I was that girl, I’d probably stop playing hockey.”

              “I didn’t know you played field hockey; when did you start?”

              “I kind decided to try out in sixth grade on a whim.  I’d never played before and didn’t know any of the rules, but a girl in my grade taught me everything.  She’s been playing since she was like, four.  So I basically owe all my skills to her.  She’s really intense about everything, especially hockey.”

              “Met any cute boys back at home?” Nicole grinned.

              Paige considered laughing, but decided against it.  She felt Brandon’s eyes on her.  “Nah.  Besides, dad says I can’t date until I’m at least twenty-five.”  A heavy hand landed on her shoulder, Nick’s, and she took the comfort it offered.

              “That’s right.  And if anyone comes around before that, I’ve got a shotgun to ward them off.”  Paige wondered if she was the only one who noticed Nick’s pronoun usage.  She was pleased how conscientious he was about it.  It wouldn’t have surprised her if Samara mentioned it during one of her long chats with Nick.

              The adults laughed and the conversation turned to settling in and best grocery stores and malls.  Her phone buzzed and Paige peeked at it.  A text from Emily, asking her to _please_ call.  She texted Spencer instead, **Heard you’ve been missing me.**

              The reply was almost immediate: **You heard wrong.  How’s the hockey?**

              She typed three letters then put her phone away.  **TBD.**

              Dessert was a lemon tart and when the McCullers lingered by the front door, ready to leave, Paige gladly took the leftover tarts.  They exchanged hugs and cheek kisses, promising weekly dinners.  “After all, you’re only a ten minute drive away,” Nicole pointed out.

              Brandon pulled Paige to the side before she descended the porch steps.  He wrapped her in a tight hug and murmured pointedly, “There’s no rule that says I have to take a girl to prom.”  Paige’s heard skipped and she wondered if she was going to have to explain herself, but he smiled and pushed her towards the steps.  She decided she was very lucky to have Brandon both as a cousin and a guide to the west coast.

* * *

 

              Paige sat in the waiting room, passing the time by playing 1010! on her phone.  It was Liz’s second appointment with Dr. Cameron Bowman.  He was one of the best oncologists in southern California, or SoCal as Brandon had informed Paige.  Because Liz’s previous treatments were becoming less effective, Dr. Bowman decided to start radiation therapy.  Even though radiation worked best on specific areas, Dr. Bowman wanted to try it before chemo, which would affect Liz’s entire body.

              She was sitting alone because the doctor had mentioned that the first session was typically the worst and it would be best that Paige not be present.  Nick remained, squeezing his wife’s hand lovingly.

              Paige’s phone buzzed in her hand, pausing the game.  Emily was calling her.  She hesitated but her stomach still twisted in knots at the thought of her (ex?)best friend, so she declined the call.  Flustered, she texted Hanna.  **At the doctor’s for my mom.  How’s Spence and Caleb?**

              She cleared one row on the game when Hanna replied.  **Give your mom 500 xoxoxo’s for me!  Caleb is amazing as usual and Spencer is Spencer.**

              Paige smiled.  Even across the country, Hanna could calm her down.  She returned to 1010! and proceeded to beat her high score.  She had another half hour before Liz would come through the double doors.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: For Paige’s outfit, google image “may the fourth be with you lifestylenerd” & it’s the 1st one. For Emily’s, google image “cute fourth of july outfits” & it should be the 4th one, with shirt/shorts/shoes/bandeau laid out. For the CA house, google “2841 N Studebaker Rd zillow.” Oh look, angst. Endless thanks to Sparks80, duh. Enjoy, guys. xoxo


	20. Beginning of 8th grade

          The bell rang, signaling the end of seventh period and the end of the first week of school.  Paige snapped her social studies textbook shut and hefted her backpack over her right shoulder.  When she joined the mass of students in the wide hallways, she ignored the occasional shove here and there.  The first couple days, she had had to clench her fists and resist punching the culprit; she soon realized it was just a result of being one of hundreds of kids.

          She reached her locker without too much hassle and spun the locker combination.  As she was filling her backpack with the books she’d need over the weekend, a tall girl with long, rich brown hair strode up, laden with a backpack and athletic bag.  She had striking green eyes which were scrunched up in smile.

          “McCullers, yeah?”

          Paige recognized her from the field hockey tryouts.  She nodded.  “Annie?”

          The girl grinned and held out her hand.  It was an odd gesture for a thirteen year old (or fourteen, Paige didn’t know) to do, but Paige grasped it and was impressed with the firm handshake.  Annie was tall for their age, around five-foot five, putting her at least three inches taller than Paige.  She was fit too, not that Paige had noticed during tryouts or anything.  “You got it.  Annie Schwinn.”

          Paige zipped up her backpack, grabbed her sports duffel and stick, and headed towards the locker rooms, Annie matching her step for step.  “How are you liking Hamilton Middle?”

          “It’s really big,” Paige replied, wincing after.  How lame.  Who even says that?  She hastened to add, “I’m from a small town and I think I had like thirty in my graduating class?”

          Annie whistled and held the door open.  “Big schools are all I’ve ever known.  But it’s not that bad.  You’ll get used to it.  If not, and you need a quiet place to chill, the bleachers by the hockey field are a good place.”

          Touched by Annie’s kindness, she smiled shyly and asked, “Wanna partner up for warm-ups?  You’re pretty good.”

          Pretty good was an understatement.  Paige had been watching the other players trying out the past two weeks (a big school meant more competition), and Annie was the only other girl in their grade that had any skill.  And by any, she meant a lot.  She reminded Paige of Spencer, but without the constant solemnity.  Annie matched Paige in terms of talent; during a one-on-one a few days ago, Annie just barely managed to win by a point.

          They weaved between the other athletes in the locker room and found an empty bench to put their bags on.  Paige started changing, lifting her shirt up and over her head.

          “Damn, Paige!”

          She startled and fumbled with her tank.  “What?”

          Annie was looking – staring – at Paige’s stomach.  “You’ve got a really hot bod!  I think your abs are better than my older brother’s, and he’s so obsessed with himself, it’s kind of disgusting.  What’s your workout routine?  I’ve _gotta_ start working out with you.”

          Paige blushed furiously and changed into her sports bra to buy her time.  Everything about Annie screamed straight, but this gave her pause.  “I’m just pretty active, I guess.  I bike to and from school, swim, hockey, and run.  I don’t do any workouts outside of sports.”

          The other brunette stepped out of her jean shorts and into her blue athletic ones.  “If I wasn’t dating my boyfriend, I would totally ask you out.”

          Paige’s eyebrows shot up.  That answered her question.  “You’re bisexual?”

          Annie shrugged.  “I like who I like.  Do you have an issue with that?”  Her eyes flashed dangerously.

          “No.  It’d be uh, kind of hypocritical of me if I did.”  Paige wasn’t sure what prompted her to say it and bare it all (literally).  She was standing in a crowded locker room wearing only a black sports bra and black Nike shorts.

          Annie grinned and shook her finger at her.  “I knew you and I would get along great, McCullers.  But hurry up, we’ve gotta be on the pitch in five minutes.”

          Paige laughed, feeling so light and exhilarated.  They were going to make varsity, she and Annie.  She could feel it.

* * *

 

          They made varsity.  Of course they did.  The only two eighth graders who do.  Coach Rowlin clapped Paige on the shoulder and praised her, “Welcome to the team, McCullers.”

          When they were walking back towards the school, Annie bumped shoulders with her.  “I’m on a travel hockey team and you should join.  We could use another me.  Well, an almost me.”

          Paige smirked.  “You’re just jealous that I made the winning shot today during the scrimmage.  When are practices?”  She had a lot of time on her hands, since she didn’t do much other than go to school, do homework, and play sports.  No friends to occupy her time.

          “I’m headed to practice now, if you wanna tag along and check out the competition.  They’re every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  Saturday is game day.”

          “Wait, you’re going _now_?  Right after school practice?  Damn, you guys don’t mess around.”

          Annie paused by a van, the woman inside clearly her mother.  “Yeah, we’re that good.  You game?”

          Paige nodded and gestured towards her bike, which was resting at a rack by the school.  “I’ve got my bike though.  I can meet you.”

          “Nah, throw it in the back.  There’s plenty of room.”

          Paige dropped her bags and jogged over to her seven-speed.  It had been a gift from her parents, part apology for moving and part necessity for getting around the city.  Between Nick’s job and taking Liz to and from treatments, there wasn’t much time to spare to drive Paige to school, and she refused to ride the bus.

          She maneuvered it successfully into the back of the van and joined Annie in the back seat.  “Hi, Mrs. Schwinn.”

          “Hello, Paige.  Annie’s spoken rather highly of you.  I heard you made varsity with her.  Congratulations.”

          Paige shook the offered hand, shooting Annie a look.  They hadn’t really talked before today, so it was surprising to hear that she’d been talked about.  “All good things, I hope.  And thank you.”

          The three of them chatted on the ride.  The conversation was mostly directed towards Paige, being the newbie and all.  When asked why they moved, Paige murmured, “My mom has cancer, and the best doctors are out here.”

          Annie rested her hand over Paige’s and said, “My aunt had breast cancer.  She survived, but we know how hard it’s gotta be for you guys.  If you ever need to talk, I’m your girl.”

          Paige smiled and they steered the conversation to hockey after that.

          Mrs. Schwinn pulled into the parking lot of a large sports complex and waved them off with, “I’ll be back in two hours, girls.  Have fun!”  Paige assumed they’d give her a ride to her house, since her bike was left in the van.

          She followed Annie through the building and out the back to a very nice hockey pitch.  There were around twenty-five girls warming up already.  One blond called out when they approached.  “Look who decided to grace us with her presence, girls!”

          Annie laughed and hugged her.  “Shut up, Sarah.  I brought a friend, so be nice.  She’s _almost_ as good as me, and I’m trying to convince her to join our stupid gang of losers.”  She pulled Paige closer and raised her voice.  “This is Paige.  She might join, so let’s show her what we’ve got, yeah?”

          The gathered girls echoed her and paired off.  Annie turned and pointed to a set of bleachers.  “You can sit up there and watch, or if you feel like it later, come and join us.  I promise we’re not actually losers.”

          Paige nodded and climbed the metal seats.  Her phone buzzed when she sat down.  Her first thought was Emily, but it ended up being Spencer, asking about hockey practice and threatening not to show her face if she hadn’t made varsity.  Paige laughed and replied that she had, and she was considering a travel team.

          Spencer only sent back, **Good, it’ll improve your game and maybe when you come back, you’ll actually be able to beat me.**

          Paige smiled, enjoying the sassiness even when they were on opposite sides of the country.  She fiddled with her phone and considered texting Emily, but shouts from the hockey field drew her attention and she forgot about her phone.

          Thirty minutes later, she picked up her stick and stepped onto the turf.  Ten minutes after that, she made up her mind: she’d join the traveling Cali Grizzlies.

* * *

 

          Two months later, it was Paige’s fourteenth birthday.  She finished locking her bike up when her phone beeped twice.  It was two texts from Hanna and Spencer.  Both wished her a happy birthday, but Hanna’s included a little more.  The words made Paige’s heart twist and her blood boil.  **Happy birthday, Paigey!  Spencer forgot, but I reminded her.  So much to update you on, especially Em and Ben.  They’re so disgusting and unfortunately still together.  Love you babe!**

          The day went relatively quickly for Paige, filled with very few birthday wishes.  She hadn’t made a lot of friends since starting school, but she was okay with that.  She was too busy with hockey and school.  Annie had somehow broken into her locked locker and thrown glitter everywhere and put a teddy bear balloon in it.

          Paige was exhausted when she collapsed on her bed after school.  Hockey – both school and travel – left her bone-weary and on the verge of sleep.  Before she could, her phone buzzed and it was from Emily.  **Happy birthday Paige!  I miss you, and really wish you’d return my calls and texts.  I’m sorry, like I said the past hundred texts.  I never meant to hurt you, and I wish we hadn’t left things the way we did.  Please call me sometime.**

          Paige decided her period must be starting soon, because she had tears in her eyes when she finished reading.  Ugh, hormones, she scoffed.  Shifting her arms around to hold her phone properly, she debated whether or not to respond.  Annie’s words rang in her head, _You gotta start somewhere, Paige.  But on your own time._

          That had been two weeks ago, when Paige had ignored yet another text of Emily’s and Annie hadn’t let Paige get away without explaining.  Annie had been very understanding and offered great advice, almost as good as Samara’s.

          Paige tapped out a reply and pressed send before she could change her mind.  **Thx.  Hope Ben is living up to expectations.**   As soon as it sent, she tossed her phone on the ground.  She thought the clenching of her stomach would stop, that she’d feel better about causing Emily the same pain she’d experienced, but it didn’t.  Angry and bitter, Paige rolled over and gave into sleep.  She never received a reply when she woke up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yes, this was mostly a filler chapter, but also some important things happened. Honestly, I knew this chapter would be short when I started it. Next one will be more interesting, and longer. For an idea of what Annie looks like, google image “brunette girl green plaid shirt tumblr” and it should be the first, on a dock with white shoes. I realized as I was looking over my outline how many OCs I have set up and I apologize for that. I’m not too familiar with the PLL characters, but I try to incorporate some where I can. I feel like a hypocrite because I’m not personally too fond of OCs. But as a PSA, there will be more coming, and most (with the exception of the Tharpes, Annie, and 2 more that will be revealed in like 2 chapters) aren’t that important lol. I do kinda like Annie though, and the girl she’s pictured after is hot. Many thanks to Sparks80. Hope you guys enjoyed, xoxo


	21. Winter of 8th grade

          “And last but not least, for first place in the hundred meter breast stroke, Paige McCullers of Hamilton Middle!”

          She stood on the highest step and ducked her head, allowing the announcer to bestow the gold medal around her neck.  It rested solidly against her sternum and she smiled, knowing her parents, aunt, uncle, and cousin were in the stands, most likely snapping pictures.

          She joined the second and third place girls for a picture that would show up in the newspaper the next day, unable to help her smirk.  She’d placed first in the state semi-finals, a very impressive feat for her age.  California was a big state with lots of swimmers, so she understood the significance.

          Paige impatiently listened to her coach’s end-of-the-meet talk, accepting the words of praise from both swimmer and parent.  She was eager to get out of her bathing suit and into a pair of comfortable sweats.  Her body ached all over.

 

-

          _Finally_ , an hour later, she collapsed in one of Brandon’s beanbags and groaned with relief.  “I’ve never been so glad to sit down.”

          He turned from the television and tossed her a Gamecube controller.  “You deserve it.  That was one hell of a heat.”  He started up Super Smash Bros and claimed the other beanbag.

          Paige grinned and they fell silent for a while, only the sound of jamming buttons surrounding them.  This was one of her favorite things about her cousin; he felt no need to talk like some of the girls in Paige’s classes.  At the same time, the silence wasn’t awkward as with most guys.  It reminded her of how awesome a friend Brandon was, how thankful she was for it.

          The adults’ laughter drifted upstairs, no doubt getting tipsy off a couple bottles of wine (with the exception of Liz).  When Brandon paused the game to go to the bathroom, Paige pulled her phone out.  She replied to a couple messages – one from Annie – congratulating her – and another from a girl on the travel hockey team asking to practice one-on-one tomorrow.  She would never turn down an opportunity to get some more ball time in.

          Brandon returned and they resumed playing.  His words from the summer echoed in her head and she looked at him, thinking.  Five seconds later, Captain Falcon falcon-punched Pikachu off the edge of the stage.

          “Paige?”

          She focused on him, squinting.

          “Alright?”

          “Yeah, just zoned out.”

          They resumed playing.  She effectively kicked his ass twice.  While they were in the middle of an intense battle of smashing buttons, she blurted, “I like girls.”  There was no pause, no falter in their play.

          “They are pretty great, aren’t they?” Brandon laughed.

          Paige paused the game – she thought she could play and talk about _this_ , but she couldn’t.  “That’s all you have to say?”  She was hesitantly hopeful.

          He shifted in the beanbag and smiled, wide and proud.  “It’s the fuckin’ twenty-first century, P.”

          Her stomach twisted and clenched at the words.  She exhaled harshly and she was back in her room in Rosewood, Emily facing her with arms crossed.

          “Paige?”

          She opened her eyes and the moment was over.  Brandon was looking at her, concerned.  “Hey, it’s okay.  Really.  I won’t tell anyone.”

          She laughed weakly, running a hand through her hair.  “It’s not that.  My parents know and – yeah, it’s not a secret, really.  I just remembered something back at home.  I’m good.  Relieved, actually.”

          He leaned back, hands behind his head, those biceps flexing.  “I know what you mean.  Everyone’s known I go both ways ever since I was in kindergarten and married by best friend Tommy.  But when I got older, I guess I still felt like I needed to tell people, officially.”

          “Did you?  Tell people?”

          “Yeah.  I made it my facebook status,” Brandon laughed.  “Almost everyone who commented said ‘We already knew this, dumbass.’  It’s one of my best memories.  I even printed out the thread.”

          Paige smiled.  She felt lighter.  Not physically, but emotionally.  The stupid cliché, “Like a weight lifted off one’s shoulders” was irritatingly fitting.  She unpaused the game and they went back to fighting on the screen.

          Five minutes passed and Brandon drawled, “You know, California is pleasantly progressive and I happen to know several girls who happen to have similar tastes as you.”

          Paige reached over with one hand – still kicking his ass with the other – and punched him.

          “ _Ow_.  Just trying to help!  Is that a no?”

          She shook her head, grinning.  Thank god for Brandon Tharpe.

* * *

 

          She was in the waiting room again while Liz underwent treatment.  It wasn’t chemo – not yet, hopefully not ever – but the consensus was that it would be best for Paige to be out of the room.  This time, Annie had joined her.

          “So, are you going to cotillion next month?”

          Paige scrunched her nose.

          “Oh right, sorry.  Forgot who I was talking to,” Annie smirked.

          “Is it safe to assume you and Loverboy are going?”

          “Ten points to Slytherin!”

          Paige barked out a laugh and shifted in her seat.  “Please, we both know I’d be in Gryffindor.  Have you got a dress?”

          Annie tapped on her iPhone and practically shoved it in Paige’s face.  Paige knew her friend was excited, but she may have underestimated her.  She pulled the phone away and swiped through the pictures.  In them, Annie was modeling the dress, short, navy, and borderline scandalous.  The neckline was scooped and it fit her snugly.

          “Damn, Annie.  You look well, hot.”  Paige handed the phone back.

          “Thanks, babe.  Hopefully my boyfriend agrees.”

          “There’s something wrong if he doesn’t,” Paige mutters.  She pretends she doesn’t see Annie’s tinted cheeks.

          Her friend cleared her throat and fiddled with her Converses.  “So, any lovergirls for you?”  Annie’s smile was mischievous.

          Paige quirked a brow and shrugged.  “Nah.  Focusing on school and hockey…  I did tell my cousin though.  That I like girls.”

          “Brandon, right?  Couple years older than us?  I’m sure that went fine.  We’ve all known about him since forever.”

          “Yeah, he said the same thing.  He offered to set me up.”

          “And you said?”

          “Not interested.”

          “Paige, I know I said that I’d date you if I wasn’t with my boyfriend, but I think we’re going to be together for a long, long time so you shouldn’t wait for me.”

          She shoved Annie, hard enough for her to fall out of her seat.  She didn’t offer a hand, just laughed at her friend.

          “I’ll have you know that karma is a very bitchy bitch,” Annie grumbled.

          Paige smiled and shot off a few replies to Spencer and Hanna.  The group message was swamping her phone with notifications.  Hanna was debating on “going steady” with Caleb.  Spencer pointed out that they had been going steady since like third grade.

          Annie was talking about a new field hockey play she came up with when a phone rang.  The two girls had moved to sit next to each other on a couch, Paige’s legs resting on Annie’s lap.  They looked at both of their phones.

          It was Paige’s.  _Emily_.  She peered at the name, startled.  It had been a while since the last time Emily tried to reach out.  She guessed her birthday was the last time.

          “Are you gonna answer it?”

          Paige’s thumb hovered over the slider.  The ringtone seemed to echo in her mind when she pressed the ignore button on the top of the phone.  She looked at Annie, expecting the question.

          “Who’s Emily?”

          Paige rested her head on the back of the couch, quiet.

          “Friend?  Mortal enemy?  Girlfriend?”

          She scoffed at the last suggestion.  “She’ll never be my girlfriend because she’s _not gay_.”

          Annie digested that and said softly, “You never talk about your home.  Back in Pennsylvania.”

          Paige turned her head the slightest.  “You know about Samara.”

          “Yeah, your childhood babysitter slash college aged friend.  We’re friends – best friends, even – but I feel like I hardly _know_ you.  Even after knowing you for four months.”  Annie cut Paige off.  “I’m not talking about your favorite color or life aspirations.  They’re important, yeah.  But I’m talking about your life before you came to California.  Your past.  Young, trouble-maker Paige.”

          “You’re assuming I was a trouble-maker when I was little.”

          Annie smirked.  “Have you met yourself?”

          Paige sighed.  “I guess I saw moving here as starting over.  And I saw starting over as ignoring most things that happened in the past.”

          A hand covered hers and she met Annie’s green eyes.  “Who’s Emily?”

          “I should probably start from the beginning.”

-

          Forty-five minutes later, when Liz walked out from treatment, Annie was sufficiently knowledgeable on all things Paige McCullers.  Mostly.

          “Tell me again why you’re not talking to Emily.  I’m sure she’s apologized a million times…?”

          “She has.  Still does.  But, it’s complicated.”

          “Then uncomplicated for me.”

          Paige looked up from her phone, Annie’s fierce gaze meeting her.  “She said we’re the bestest of friends.  She liked doing what we were doing, I _know_ it.  But she still shies away from admitting that what we had was something.  I felt it, and I know she did too.”

          “Have you ever considered that maybe she didn’t?”

          Paige lifted her legs off of Annie’s and turned away.  Immediately, strong hands gripped her bicep and tugged.  “Look, I’m not saying she didn’t.  I’m just saying, it’s a possibility.  There’s always at least two sides to everything.”

          “Whose side are you on, Annie?”

          “Yours, idiot.  But I’m trying to help you with this Emily thing.  I know it’s just eating at you slowly.  And that bothers me.  As your best friend,” she caught Paige’s look and amended.  “As your best Californian friend, it’s my job – one I very much want to do, mind you – to help you.”

          Paige slowly shifted closer to Annie, taking a deep breath.  “What do you have in mind?”

          “Well, nothing.  Yet.  I just learned about The Problem.”

          Paige wrapped her arms around her best Californian friend and muttered into her neck, “Thanks.”

          Whatever Annie was going to say back, was interrupted.  “Do I get a hug like that?”

          Both girls turned behind them and found Liz, peering at them.  Paige thought she looked worse than when she came in.  She jumped up and over the couch fluidly and tugged her mother close.  She vehemently ignored the couple tears that escaped and slid down her face.  “I love you, mom.”

          “Aw, baby, I love you too.”

          Paige felt one of Liz’s arms jerk and the next moment, Annie’s coconut scent flooded her senses and following that, Annie’s arm.

          “We’re disgustingly cute right now, Mrs. McCullers.”

          Paige was inclined to agree, her smile hidden in the shoulder of Liz.  She also ignored the small voice in her head that reminded her that once upon a time, Emily had been exactly where Annie was in this little group hug.

* * *

 

          The end of winter break was coming to an end.  In two days, Paige would be walking the school halls again.  But, she still had two days of break and she intended to make the most of it.  By laying on the couch binge watching a TV show on Netflix that had been in her queue forever, _Pretty Little Liars_.  So far, she was halfway through the first season.

          Her phone buzzed just as the four liars received a text at the same time.  Freaky timing, but Paige rolled her eyes at the text from Hanna.  **OMG have the juiciest story!!!**

          She tapped out a reply and then resumed the show.  **What is it this time?  Alison broke a nail?  Spencer finally snapped and hit Casey, the most annoying girl on the hockey team?**

          Paige managed five minutes before Hanna texted her again.  It was long, hence the five minutes.  **Okay first, if Alison broke a nail, the world would probably end and I wouldn’t be texting you.  Second, no.  I think Spencer is really close to doing it, but not yet.  You’ll be the first to know.  And I’ll catch it on video.  But the juicy story, my dearest, is really like two things, but they’re practically connected because how could they not be, they happened like within 24 hours.  So, I was walking to class when Alison told me that Emily (our Emily!) had kissed her!!  She said it happened in the library.  And then the next day, Emily told us that she and Ben were done!  She dumped him!  Probably for Alison, because they kissed!!  idk how many people know, like I told Spencer and Caleb, but that’s it.  Maybe Aria and Mona know, because they’re like best best friends with Alison, but who knows.  I bet Emily is freaking out, like when I caught you two, but worse because the whole school might know!!  Can you believe it?!?!?!**

          The show was still playing, but Paige didn’t notice that.  She didn’t notice anything, her entire focus was on the text.  She reread it three times, paying close attention to the part about Emily.  Specifically, kissing Alison DiLaurentis, their _archenemy since first grade_.  There was ringing in her ears and so much… stuff happening inside.  Her heart felt like it was seizing, convulsing in her chest.

          She didn’t know whether to be angry, sad, relieved, or confused.  No, she was definitely confused.  And angry.  She gripped her phone tightly and threw it across the room.  Her aim was off though, because instead of shattering against the wall, it landed on an area rug and skittered along the hardwood, mostly safe from harm.

          She didn’t realize she was crying until her vision blurred and Liz came into the living room and hurried over, her voice high with concern.  “Paige?  Honey, is everything alright?”

          Paige wiped at her eyes and stood up.  “Just got some news from back home.  I need to talk to Hanna and Spencer.”  She caught Liz’s worried look.  “I’ll fill you in after, okay?”

          The woman nodded and Paige picked her phone up.  It had a couple scuffs, but the screen was undamaged.  She went upstairs, taking the steps two at a time.

          With her bedroom door securely closed, she dialed Hanna’s number, trying to calm down.

          “Paige!  Can you believe it?”

          She jumped from her bed and began pacing.  “What the hell, Hanna?  Tell me _everything_.”

          “Uhm, did you see my long ass text?  I told you everything I know.  Alison and Emily were in the library when Em just laid one on her!  I don’t think they did anything else…  Definitely not what you and her were doing on the fourth of July.”

          “And breaking up with Ben?  What reason did Emily give for that?”

          “Paige, I know you haven’t been answering her calls or texts.  Why don’t you just ask her yourself?”

          “Hanna.  Why did they break up?”

          She heard the blond sigh and the rustle of paper.  Most likely putting her magazine down.  “Emily said she wasn’t feeling it with him.”

          “Wait, did Emily not tell you about the kiss?”

          “Have you not been listening to me?  Alison told me!”

          Paige stopped moving and gave the story careful thought.  “Why would Alison talk to you other than to insult you and make your life miserable?”

          Hanna was silent on the other side and Paige pictured her friend, sitting on her bed, wide-eyed.  “We talk now,” she said simply.

          “You talk now,” Paige repeated.  “Since when?  What, are you and _Ali_ suddenly BFFs?  Two peas in a pod?”

          Hanna’s hesitation said it all.  “Wow, you and Alison.  Have you and Spencer just gotten all chummy with the whole gang?”

          “Paige, a lot has changed since you’ve left.”

          “How long did you guys wait before replacing me with them?  A week?  A day?”  Paige resumed her pacing, running a hand through her auburn hair.

          “No one could replace you.  And that’s not what we’re doing.  We’ve all come to an understanding, I guess.”

          Except her.  Paige didn’t understand.  She felt betrayed.  All she remembered about Alison was her cruel words and vicious personality.  She thought that seven years of it would never be forgiven with a simple understanding.  It was supposedly not the case for her friends.

          “Hey, Paige?  Spencer is here.  She wants to talk.”  There was some static while the phone was passed and then Spencer’s low voice filled Paige’s ear.

          “Listen, McCullers.  Hanna didn’t explain it too well.  We, as in Hanna, Emily, and me aren’t hanging out with Alison all the time.  Maybe a sleepover here and there,” she raised her voice over Paige’s scoff.  “We’ve pretty much stopped being bitches to each other.  But we aren’t best friends.  Maybe just friends, if that.  Seriously.”

          Spencer was earnest, genuine and Paige was mollified.  She collapsed on her bed.  “Okay, I believe you guys.  It’s just…”

          “I know, Paige.  Look, I gotta help Hanna with her history.  We’ll talk later.”

          The call ended before Paige could even question it.  It seemed highly unlikely Hanna would be trying to get a head start on schoolwork.  She sighed heavily, loudly, and looked up when there was a knock on her door.

          “Come in.”

          Liz’s forehead was lined with worry and she quickly crossed the room.  “What happened?”

          “Apparently my friends are _friends_ with Alison, now.”  She didn’t mention what had happened with Emily.  She still needed to digest that.

          “Really?  That’s… surprising,” Liz said.  “Though, it’s about time you girls stopped being so awful to each other.”

          “Mom!  Whose side are you on?  Besides, I could say the same about you and Mrs. DiLaurentis.”

          “Yours, honey.  Always.  One day, you’ll realize how petty it all is and whose opinion really matters.”

          Paige scowled, body tense with all these _emotions_.  Liz leant over and pressed a kiss to Paige’s temple.  “Did you sort things out with Hanna and Spencer?”

          Paige nodded reluctantly, tired.  “I might take a nap now, though.”

          “Alright.  I’ll be downstairs.  Remember, I’m your mom.  I love you no matter what.  That includes you being rather bratty right now.”

          Paige’s lips curled in a smile and she rolled her eyes.  “Yeah, yeah.”

          Liz left the room and Paige was alone.  She grabbed her Macbook and logged into Facebook for the first time since starting school.  She had avoided it, mainly because she didn’t want to see pictures of Emily.  With Ben.  Paige had several friend requests, most from her hockey and swim teams.  When she accepted them, she was automatically tagged in pictures.  Nearly all of them were sports related.  Annie had tagged her in all of the selfies they had taken over the past months.

          Paige couldn’t resist the temptation – she clicked a couple times and then she was viewing Emily’s profile.  Immediately, she went to the pictures.  The most recent ones were of Emily, Hanna, and Spencer in the latter’s home.  Paige was pleasantly surprised; Hanna had lost a lot of weight and looked not only slimmer, but healthy.  The other two looked exactly the same.

          No, Emily looked more beautiful than the last time Paige had laid eyes on her.  Her breath caught and before she knew it, her finger was touching the screen and running over Emily’s face.  She jerked it back and glanced at her phone, considering calling her best friend.  Though, she wasn’t sure if that was still true.  She tapped a few times, thumb shaking over the call button.

          Paige blamed her biggest flaw: letting her pride get the best of her.  She tossed her phone on the floor and grabbed a pillow, shoving her face into it.  The scream was muffled and it only made her feel the tiniest bit better.  She flailed on her bed, pent up frustration and a plethora of emotions getting the best of her.  Her laptop fell to the ground and when she leaned over to pick it up, a picture of Emily and Ben smiling taunted her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Long wait, I know. College is life-consuming. I couldn’t help myself with adding the PLL thing, lol. I hate overusing bold, but I also haven’t found a good way to display texting. So until then… Merci beaucoup, Sparks80. Hope you guys enjoyed xoxo


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